How often do you leave the house? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I've gotta get out more. I thought by now (dd is 4 months), it'd be easier. We've got rid of the pump and the bottles, dd latches well, will nurse in the cradle hold now, the NIP is coming along reasonably well... all my reasons for hardly leaving the house in the early days, but I still can't seem to get out on a regular basis.

My last 2 attempts didn't go so well - first got a parking ticket then got food poisoning at a restaurant... It really is easier not to go anywhere. I also got worried over the long weekend when dd wouldn't nurse well with the ILs around and when we went out - I weighed her and she hadn't put on any weight in 3 days (that's another post). So that made me feel more guilty about going out, if she won't nurse well, cause at home she puts on weight regularly.

So I'm curious how often others get out. How long for? What do you do? How old was your baby when you could get out easily?
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#2 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 01:36 PM
 
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I try to get out almost every day. My babe is 2 months. I find it mostly just takes chutzpah! Yesterday we went to the post office, the bank, and the store, took an hour or two total. I'll nurse her in the car; still working out the mechanics of nursing without a pillow (and therefore NIP). Keep trying! (How many times can you get food poisoning in a row, really?!)

I don't know if this applies in your case, but I find she's more comfortable NIP if *I'm* relaxed, and sometimes it doesn't go so well (in front of il's, for instance) because I'm tense... Good luck!!
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#3 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 05:33 PM
 
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When didn't I get out? I started going out every day with Goo when she was 1 week old. I felt it was important for my sanity. I was terrified to feed her in public (bottle feed) and she could tell. I finally got comfortable with just letting eat when she got hungry and ignore people who gave me dirty looks for bottle feeding. It was much easier once I let go of worrying about how others percieved my feeding of my child.

I would not be surprised if you have some problems because of the NIP. Try to scope out a place where you can NIP privately and then go there. Eventually, you'll get the courage to go everywhere!
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#4 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 05:38 PM
 
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Gavin and I sometimes go quite a while without getting out. It's a PITA to wake up before 6am, get dressed, take my SO to work, come home, take a nap, get up, get re-dressed, go out somewhere, go pick up my SO and come back home. If the weather is icky, about the only thing that I WOULD take the car for would be a vet appt.

That being said, if we had more than one car, likely we'd get out for shorter trips more often, but since it's such a huge production when I do have the car for the day, it's pointless to just do something like go to the bank or PO only, when my SO can do that after work.

On big week days out (when I'm crawling out of my skin and tell my SO I WILL be getting out that day) we drive to the nice mall (more like two malls connected by a skywalk, really) and walk around. Last week was the longest trip there and Gavin is 5 months as of yesterday - we were there for 2.5 hours.

If all of the nice parks around here weren't resident access only (we live on the border of a town that won't let "undesireables" in their parks) on good days I could simply walk to a place for an hour or so.
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#5 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 09:32 PM
 
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..My daughter is young. I try to get out at least once a day, since I would go crazy otherwise! I have joined several support groups, that gives us a place to go where we don't have to worry about much, we can diaper change, nurse, etc. and I get to talk to someone! The hospital near us has a mother/baby class each week that lasts a couple hours, I belong to an AP group, LLL, etc.

Since she's such a good baby, only fusses when she needs something and loves being worn it isn't too bad.
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#6 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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Ohhh, hang in there. Just DO it. Don't go anywhere special, but just start GOING. Do simple. To the store. To the park. Just for a ride around the corner if need be. Getting out is so important for your sanity.

WIth my first ds, I had similar issues, he puked, bad latch, HUGE boobs, etc etc yada yada and then when we did go out, I was so nervous he would scream the entire time (plus he was high needs anyway). Once I got comfortable with nursing, it was easier (at about 6 months) but by then it was WINTER ROFL

Now my dd is almost 4 months old, and as an example, we left the house yesterday at 10 am. I nursed her before I left. Took double jogger and walked to post office. Then to bank. Then right on to a birthday party where we were there for 2 hours. Had a little pass the baby, and then held her the rest of the time (and I might add, all the other babies were in their little buckets the ENTIRE time while Reilly got to be part of the festivities. LOL) I nursed dd at the party. Party over, walked home. Got home, baby never went inside, she was napping in stroller. I ran in to pee, get ds a snack. Back out, ds ate a picnic lunch on the lawn while I mulched the front of the house. DD woke up from nap in stroller, I changed her diaper, nursed her on the lawn, laid her on the lawn on blanket for some tummy time. After awhile, we went to play across the street with friends. Played pass the baby for ahwile. (I live in a GREAT neighborhood, makes my life blissful) Back in at 6:30 pm so she was out from 10 am to 6:30 pm straight and never was inside once during that time. She napped in the stroller, on my shoulder, on my friends lap, and in the sling. Now that is not typical of my life so far, usually we are at home all day (but outside for a good part of the day but in our yard or out front with neighbors) and I will put her inside for her naps but I nurse her outside on lawns or porches, even in my car in the driveway if I need somewhere to sit LOL and do an errand or two once or twice a week, and get out somewhere EVERY DAY in the stroller if its not raining. If it rains, I stay home. But I HAVE to, because I have ds and can't keep him in all day. So we are adapting.

My days are mostly outside, either at my own home or the homes of my neighbors. I go to the park, to the grocery store, dry cleaners, or for pizza with ds. I go to Starbucks and to the library. I don't do road trips far because she doesn't like the car, and I don't do things to get my 3 year old riled up because then I have to worry about 2 of them. The mall is OUT for my ds, but its a great "first time" trip. My dd is like a pocketbook that nurses. That is how I describe her. Its funny with ds I was always planning things around him. NOw with dd, I can't do that, so she just has to come along. BUT she has the temperment for it. She goes 2-3 hours betwee nursing and is a quick nurser with an awesome latch. I also nursed ds for 2 years and have absolutely no compunction about whipping my boob out whenever and nursing her. I'll sit right down on the sidewalk if need be.

Anwyay, moral of the story is, practice makes perfect. Get out for fresh air. You can't work the kinks out until you know where they are. ANd go places that have lots of benches ROFL.

((hugs))
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#7 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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I go to town at least 2 times a week, and have since DD was a week old. We took a trip 2 hours away to a nice rest. for my Granddaddy's Big birthday party when she was 10 days old When she was 4 days old I took her to my moms an hour away. I go to my moms about once a week, too so I guess that makes 3 times a week that I am out. I nurse her in the car mainly b/c it is just easier to have drink, ect. right there. I have NIP a few times, but she just doesn't to good b/c she is looking around instead of eating.
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#8 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 10:27 PM
 
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We go out almost everyday. DD loves to be out and seeing new things. In fact she gets cranky if we've not gone out for a few days.
We live in an apartment otherwise we'd probably be outside and wouldn't need to go places as often.
Normally its just errands that we do but she seems to enjoy it.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#9 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 11:00 PM
 
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I try to get out everyday with babe - if even just for a nighttime walk with hubby. My biggest challenge to going out was NIP, especially since my boobs were bigger than my baby's head for at least the first 8 weeks and are still huge. I am very self-conscious about them.

I always have an extra blankey or one of those big pashmina shawls with me. I cover my whole shoulder and grab my breast with the fabric and then steer baby onto the nipple. Basically I have it (after much practice) that I can breast feed and only have my nippple showing for a second or two. The biggest challenge is coralling my boob back into the bra.

Remember if you go to the mall you can breastfeed in almost any dressing room. Especially at Old Navy, Gap and children stores. Barnes and Noble & Borders children book sections are great. I just sit on the floor indian style, facing the book shelves so I am not easily seen, lay the baby on my legs and feed away! If some one sees me it usually a child or a mommy so who cares!

Also another thing I usually keep the diaper bag packed so I ca just grab and go. Good luck!
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#10 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 11:16 PM
 
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VEIN- I thought I was the only other person in the world that got up insanely early just to have a car!

At the same time I drive myself nuts cooped up in the house... so I get the car about 1 every 2 weeks and we GO GO GO on the weekends....
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#11 of 19 Old 06-03-2003, 11:21 PM
 
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VEIN- I thought I was the only other person in the world that got up insanely early just to have a car!

At the same time I drive myself nuts cooped up in the house... so I get the car about 1 every 2 weeks and we GO GO GO on the weekends....
Oh and we play putside weather permitting
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#12 of 19 Old 06-04-2003, 05:08 AM
 
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All 3 of mine loved to be out and about. As newborns, we would have to limit car trips, all that putting in and taking out could get too overstimulated. But after a month or so, even the grocery store was fun. I could see the little one in the sling, just staring at all the colorful boxes and labels.

but I do sympathize with moms whose babies are hard to nurse in public. Some babies are just so distractable. They are hungry and cranky, and just can't eat! Very frustrating! Just watch your baby. If he is like that, take it easy. Eventually, this stage will pass. Some kids are more homebodies, some are more gregarious.

Take short trips, or at least go around the block to get a little fresh air for your own sanity and health.
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#13 of 19 Old 06-04-2003, 05:38 PM
 
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I was quite nervous at first as well. My dd is now 2 months old and we go out everyday. I was so terrified of her crying me not being able to comfort her. But I got over that! The best thing I found about being a mother is that I am not perfect and that is quite alright. If nothing else, we go for a walk first thing in the morning and sometimes at night. My dd loves to be out and has no difficulty feeding in public, she seems to love the noise! I wish you luck!
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#14 of 19 Old 06-04-2003, 07:27 PM
 
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nak...my boy is just 4 months as well. we are getting the going out thing down, but i've noticed that he doesn't eat as well when we are out. i worried about it at first, but now i chalk it up to him having to much to "do," and he usually power nurses when we get home & is fine. maybe the situation with your il's was similar -- or maybe you were stressed & he picked up on that.

anywhoo... i agree with many of the other momma's -- just get out & go -- and we'll all be here hopin there'll be no more food poisoning or tickets!!
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#15 of 19 Old 06-04-2003, 09:30 PM
 
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i am stay home mom.

i do attend one night class per semister.


i did not ever find it difficult to go out with baby.

he was a summer baby, which is easier than winter.

we go to the supermarket, the park, the zoo or the mall EVERY DAY

i never stay home an entire day with him.

we go out a lot.

we both like it.

he has only been sick once. and that was in january, when it was too cold to go out.


we dont go out if it is below freezing ... or terrible weather..etc
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#16 of 19 Old 06-05-2003, 09:35 AM
 
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We probably go out about 5 days a week, sometimes 4. I like to go out with him, but the frugal side of me likes to stay in. I find that I spend a lot less money if I do bigger shopping trips less often.

You say that she doesn't eat as well when you go out. That's not uncommon--my 5 month old is the same way. I put him in the stroller (he's 22 pounds and much too heavy to sling), and it just soothes him to sleep. But going out more often actually helps because we're never gone all day this way. Our trips out don't last very long, so it's not a big deal if he doesn't eat at all until he gets home.
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#17 of 19 Old 06-07-2003, 08:30 PM
 
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Not even once a day for me, and ds is almost 4 months. He doesn't nurse well away from home, so we don't usually stay away for more than an hour or so. I hope once I figure out how to walk and nurse him it will get better. We do go for walks, around our neighborhood, mostly to get him to sleep (he sleeps well in the NN sling, although he doesn't nurse well in it).

Jen 47 DS C 2/03  angel.gif04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09 DH Bill '97.

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#18 of 19 Old 06-08-2003, 04:28 PM
 
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I get depressed if I stay in with my babies for a whole day. And they are so much happier if we get out and about. If we've been in for even just a few hours, they start to fuss. So even if it's raining, we're out at least once and usually twice a day. When it was still too cold to be walking around outside, I made a point of getting only a very little bit at the grocery store each time I'd go. That way I'd have an excuse to go back soon!

I guess I'm lucky in that I'm not at all self-conscious about bfing in public, and I also live in a very bf-friendly town. I definitely would be more self-conscious about bottle-feeding in public. My breasts are also incredibly enormous, and since I have twins, there's often no easy way to cover up! But in the beginning, for the first two months, I'd only go out in-between nursing times because it was too hard for me to nurse both babies without my couch!

As much work as it is to get us all dressed and out the door and into the carseats. . . I always feel like it's so worth it.

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#19 of 19 Old 06-09-2003, 02:11 PM
 
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Okay, bucking the trend here, I don't think it is so important to go out. Forgive me if I've read you wrong, but it didn't sound to me like you are itching to get out, it sounds like you are feeling guilty for not feeling up to going out. It was a lot for me to go places for the first few months (maybe not 4 months, but I didn't have all the difficulty w/ early b.f as you did). There are still plenty of days when it is just too much work. At home, we are in a bit of a routine, everything is where we need it to be, there are no distractions to keep ds from nursing etc etc. I live in the middle of nowhere so I guess I do count going for a walk or playing in the back yard as just staying home.

If you really want to go out, my experience was that although it *seemed* like a good idea to try to do all the errands in one trip and therefore less overall time in the car, it really was worse. One place, one errand, one day, was my motto!

Good luck with any outings and above all, relax. Do what feels right for you and your baby.
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