all done venting
laura and andrew
People who act like something is wrong when a little babies cry in public have never had or known a little baby. Just stay relaxed and make soothing noises, and people will give you compliments on how you handle it.
And even with a two year old, everyone who knows one knows they test and that's where they are at, so nothing to be embarassed about.
Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
Also, this is an Attachment Parenting board, where a lot of the members practice or try to practice gentle discipline. Let's say that my toddler freaked out in public. I would try not to flip out on her. Instead, I would try to calm her down, leave the situation, examine it afterwards, think about how I could avoid a future meltdown, etc.
Check out the toddler and discipline forums. They might give you some ideas for the future.
p.s. Babies usually cry for a reason. It's our job to figure out what that reason is. Crying at this age is not a discipline issue, but a hunger, fatigue, colic, fear, above all valid issue. Tantrums don't come into the picture until later.
|saying that a three-month-old baby is "acting up" in a store sounds a little harsh, if you know what I mean.|
I 've never known my kids at any age to be able to get in control better if I was angry. Even at 3 months he can tell if you are calm and in control of things or upset, how stiff your arms are, how fast your heart beats. He will be able to settle down much faster if your arms are the harbor in the storm, not an addition to what is upsetting him.
|I 've never known my kids at any age to be able to get in control better if I was angry|
Is it possible you are having some PPD?
I have 4 kids, and I have done LOTS and LOTS wrong... I completely understand how a screaming baby can make you get frustrated.
However, I think the feelings you seem to have had are unhealthy.
I am not 'knocking' you... I just don't want you to end up in a situation you are going to regret later.
I think one of the best things we can do, as parents, is to stop worrying what everyone else MIGHT be thinking about our childrens' behavior. You never know what they're thinking, and besides, who cares?
1. Goodness, she has quite an opinion!
2. She must have a lot to say right now.
3. Aren't moments like this always frustrating.
4. Sounds like someone needs a nap.
Hope some of these help. They seem to ease the situation of those around you when you're stuck in the checkout line with a fussy babe.
The latter of those people aren't worth the time and effort of worrying what they are thinking of you.
I feel very lucky that I don't embarrass easily, and my kids would have to do something pretty bad for me to be embarrassed. I can't even think of an example at the moment. Realize that babies cry, toddlers have tantrums, and preschoolers can be incredibly irritating creatures at times. Even perfect parenting (if there is such a thing) isn't going to change that. It's just nature.
Enjoy your baby. Get help if you don't feel that you are getting the help you need for your PPD. I suffer from depression with panic and anxiety. I know how miserable it can be.
PS: Check your PM box, I sent you a message.
Sounds like he had to let off some steam beofre he could get some sleep. My first baby was like that. Who cares what onlookers might think. You know your a good mom.
wait until they are toddlers and scream "HELP ME HELP ME MOMMY DADDY HELP ME!!!!" When you are trying to wrestle them into a stroller in a crowded mall. People looked at us like we were kidnapping them of course. I'm surprised security didn't intercept us LOL.
You need to learn how to handle this now because when they are two they will act up and intentionally try to get out of shopping and that is normal and developmentally appropriate and there is no reason to run yourself ragged trying to stop it. They know. They wil just work harder to dlip you out.
Thirdly, some ol;d ladies will look and judge but most people will be thinking one of two things when they see your child screasming a)they will be silently opffering up prayers of thanksgiving that for just once there is someone to distract people from thier child b) they will be remembering when thier children were that age and how quickly those precious precious years fly by. c) some may be desperately wishing they had a baby even if it was throwing a royal fit. and hey! if you are really lucky someone will ask you if there is anything they can do to help. I know it sorta feels like they are judging you but take it for the sincere offer it is. I know if someones kids was hungry and tired and I had some crackers that would make it better I owuld offer them to the mom. or if someone could push my cart over to the side of the store while I carried the baby I would be more thanhappy to let them. usually people really do want to just help. they have euither been there, are there or will be there and they know it.
And finally, if you think your are bad, while pulling dd out of clothing racks and wresteling her back into the stroller while trying to hold my newborn she would scream "Help, she is hurting me, I don't know her and she is hurting me. where is my mommy!!!" where to 3 year olds get this stuff?
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
|And finally, if you think your are bad, while pulling dd out of clothing racks and wresteling her back into the stroller while trying to hold my newborn she would scream "Help, she is hurting me, I don't know her and she is hurting me. where is my mommy!!!" where to 3 year olds get this stuff?|