Crying after 3 months! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm going crazy here. The first 3 months of ds' life were wonderful. If he ever cried or fussed he would nurse and be content or sleep. I don't think I ever knew what he was needing because I would just stifle it with a boob! Now, he won't let me nurse him unless he has just woken up. Even then it's for a short time, even lying in bed with no other distractions. He just doesn't seem interested! And about an hour after being awake he starts crying inconsolably and I can't nurse him. He flings himself away from me! I've tried nursing him to sleep before he gets fussy, but he refuses that too and turns his head away.

I'm guessing he's just getting overstimulated. This all seemed to start happening almost a month ago when he started noticing smaller objects, putting stuff in his mouth, being fascinated with everyone. He's also always wanting to stand and bounce his legs around, but I have to imagine they get tired after awhile. But he doesn't want to stop having fun! He constantly wants to be moving and looking at the world.

It's really distressing having him crying so much and rejecting nursing. I thought he would be rejecting me a lot older! Is this just a phase? I want my easygoing baby back that would just sit contented in my lap and nurse when tired! Fortunately, the one solution I've found is to wear him around a lot more, but sometimes I just want to sit for awhile!

Help? Can anybody relate?
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#2 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 05:11 PM
 
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You may have a couple things going on 1)Hey, I can move. 2) Teeth.

You can try to put him into a saucer toy or on a playmat with the hanging toys. You might also try a swing or a highchair that is near you while you work. All these are great tools as long as he doesn't spend large amounts of time in them.

Teething seems a long way off, but they may be right there. My twins got teeth by the time they were 4 months (3 1/2 I think). They had 4 by 4 months and 12 by 6 months. That can make nursing a little painful, especially when they get a bunch at a time. So perhaps try a little hylands teething tabs or even a little tylenol when it is too bad for tabs (if you use it). Look at the gums, they may be red and swollen or white bumps.

Aso, has he been sick? It also could be sore ears. that can make life miserable and the signs look a lot like teething. You might want to have them checked to be sure.

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#3 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 08:28 PM
 
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He might be getting really tired because he's so busy learning now...have you tried putting him in bed right when he's getting fussy?
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#4 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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I am going through a similar thing, although my 3 month-old babe is still nursing quite a bit (in the lying down position - we are co-sleepers). But, like yours, ever since he started really noticing things, he wants to be looking around and checking everything out. It is hard to impossible to get him to nurse in the crade position that we've done for so long because he's constantly squirming and trying to look everywhere but the boob. I don't know about you, but nursing in public is never possible these days, which makes going out with him a bit tough because I know he'll eat if he's really hungry, but I don't like pushing him to that edge.

He also loves being on his tummy and trying to crawl or stand (to the point of total exhuastion), so he's basically always trying to do that - hard to be able to just sit and be mellow - I feel your pain! And it's such at the in-between stage because he's not mobile enough to actually "play" but he's not just a sit and nurse baby anymore either. I feel like I am constantly trying to find things for us to do that will make him happy and not completey wear me out since I am home with him all day. And, my guy is definitely teething too, so you put all of that together (plus just the normal growing, gas etc.) and I think it makes for, like you said, an overstimulated baby. I use that Hyland's teething gel which does seem to calm him. Just now he was having a hard time so we nursed a bit, tried to crawl a bit, I tried to lay him on my chest to sleep and finally after nothing really seemed to be making him happy, I put him on his stomach and rubbed his back and it knocked him out. I have used that technique the past two days and it has worked so well. When I massage his back, I go in a counter-clockwise motion covering the entire back and buns (I was a massage therapist, so I know it's important to keep things moving the right way for digestion) and I do it somewhat fast and vigorously at first just to distract him from his woes and then as his eyelids close, I slow it down a bit until I stop.

Also, with this whole teething thing, I am getting bitten on the nipple more than I'd like - how about you? Even though it hurts, I feel for the guy since teething can't be fun (good thing we don't remember it as babies).

Everyone tells me this will pass and I know it will. Once he can actually crawl on his own and is more mobile, he'll be less frustrated (I hope) and teething, of course, is just a phase. But, I know how you feel - friends have asked me lately, "So, are you coming out of the baby fog?" and I say, "He's been so good, I was never really in it... until now!"

Hang in there!
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#5 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 09:10 PM
 
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Three to five months were really tough for us too--ds was also really easy and easygoing before then, and after he started sitting (at 5mo) and able to "play" a bit more independently, he was MUCH happier. Though he didn't really like it until around 4.5/5 months, an exersaucer was a lifesaver at this time. Doing stuff outside was also critical--he almost never fussed while on walks or even just on the porch. It WILL pass, promise!

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#6 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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Oh I am so glad to read your post and the responses! I am in the same boat with my sweet little one these days...I think we will go buy an exersaucer.

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#7 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 10:44 PM
 
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Hey all

Actually my lil guy just turned 3 months a week ago and I SWEAR the day he did he started to do the early evening fuss something horrible and like tonight started at 7pm and we basically had to just put him on our bed and leave him (which I hated to do!) and about 8:30 he finally fell asleep!

Before his 3rd month he NEVER was colicky and was always sooooo chill and now in the evening its like....: : :

Both dh and I are SO frustrated becos after having him all day by that point all I want is a break and dh comes home from class at 6 and wants to snuggle with him but he cant!

So wow...could it really be early teething-he doesnt fuss usually during the day *usually*...or just overstimulus OR bordeom? It seems like he always wants to do soemthing and its exhausting trying to find stuff for him to do becos hello...he's 3 months!!! He can barely hold a rattle!!!

*sigh*...

atleast I know im not alone...

OH, when I complained about this to a friend and to my mom the both blamed it on my babywearing...but I dont think thats it.

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#8 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happy2bamama View Post

Also, with this whole teething thing, I am getting bitten on the nipple more than I'd like - how about you? Even though it hurts, I feel for the guy since teething can't be fun (good thing we don't remember it as babies).
hey wait... I *JUST* re-read this and ds is ALSO bitting me on the nipple as well when I BF...I didnt think anything of it becos he doesnt have teeth but this also JUST started a week ago when he turned 3 months...he doesnt do it everytime he BF but atleast a few times a day and it REALLY hurts.

Hmmmmmmmmm....could it really be teething?

Umm Ibrahim

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#9 of 14 Old 04-12-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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I don't much about exersaucers - are they made for babies around 3 months old?

I have to say that for some reason, I have an aversion to exersaucers and it really doesn't make any sense now that I think about it. I've been noticing lately that there are all these things that I frown upon simply because I've seen my extended family members abuse it because they want to have a margarita or just check out for a while, and an exersaucer is one of them. I hadn't really thought about how useful it might be if I were to actually interact WITH DS while he's in it. I'd love to hear more about how these helped...

As I type, DH is downstairs trying to walk DS to sleep. Things looked like they were going well - he played a while with DH, got tired, I read some books to him in bed and then we tried to nurse in hopes of falling asleep and he started fussing (and biting) again. This happened last night and DH and I went back and forth working our "magic" (or lack thereof) about 5 times. I'm happy to hear that this does pass!:

XanaduMamma - thanks for letting us know that once your little one could move and play more independently they were happier because I really think that's going to make a huge difference in DS.
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#10 of 14 Old 04-13-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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I think the rule is don't use an exersaucer till he can sit independently. Not necessarily get to sitting on his own, but doesn't need support once there. My son loves the exersaucer toys, but I only let him sit in it when I'm really desperate. However, when I do have time to be with him, I sit cross-legged on the floor with him standing on my lap playing with the toys from the outside.

My son was also like this about the same time. Still like this at almost 5 months. What works for me is to block him from all potential stimulation at nursing time -- sit in the corner of the couch with my body blocking his view from around. Also, I learned not to offer the breast until he was really hungry, and to sit in position with it available for about ten minutes while he did his grab-for-the-breast-look-around-grab-look-grab-look-routine until he finally settled down to nurse. If I tried to rush him he would arch his back and scream. Basically just sit there in one position until he gets bored with what he can see and decides to eat -- usually signified by the open mouth under my breast...
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#11 of 14 Old 04-13-2007, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, thank you all so much! I feel so much better now. I had this nagging feeling that maybe I was doing something wrong! All your babies sound like mine. I'll have to tell my husband... he thought it had something to do with babywearing and jumping when he cries!:
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#12 of 14 Old 04-15-2007, 09:48 PM
 
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Re: the exersaucer....we got one for my 4.5 month old and he's not sitting independently, so we basically stuff towels or a blanket around him until he is well supported. But he only stays in the exersaucer for 10 minutes tops and I'm interacting with him the whole time. His face is so funny as he studies all these new things I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!
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#13 of 14 Old 04-15-2007, 10:17 PM
 
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We did get an exersaucer for our 3.5 month old. He has been in it 3 or four times since we got it a week ago, never for more than 10 minutes (usually about 5) and either I or my DH interacys with him the whole time. At first he cried in it very quickly-- i think from frustration at not being able to reach all the toys--but tonight he enjoyed himself. I guess he is a little young for it, but I do not regret getting it.

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#14 of 14 Old 04-16-2007, 01:31 AM
 
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yup, I can relate...my DD - 5 mo - has been refusing to nurse off and on since January...I'm just persevering...
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