Fustrated and feeling terrible - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Help!!! My DS is 9 months old and the seperation anxiety is so bad. I can't do anything without him crying after me. I love him more than anything but, I could cry right now because I feel bad about feeling this way but, I can't even throw a diaper away! He is held and carried alot. There are times my back and just me need a break. It's not like I'm leaving him for a long period of time. Maybe a few seconds. I don't know what to do anymore. I know this is a part of life but it's a hard one. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

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#2 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 01:36 PM
 
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Do you have a sling or a front carrier or a backpack to keep him with you while your hands are free to do stuff?
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#3 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 01:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a sling and a Bjorn which I use al the time.
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#4 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 01:55 PM
 
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How about talking more with your baby? Tell him what you are going to do, for eg, "ok, now we've dealt with your dirty diaper. Now, mummy's going to lay you down a little so she can throw the diaper away, and you can play with the rattle a little bit...." smth like that.
Also, you shd be feeling relaxed n confident when you put your baby down; otherwise your anxiety is picked up by your son n he may be wondering why you feel nervous abt putting him down n feels anxious as well.
Just my humble opinion. hth.
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#5 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I keep him in carriers alot. He is now mobile so he likes to crawl and push the kitchen chairs across the floor too. I cook with him I even shower with him. By all means I am trying my best.

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#6 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dreamweaver,

I never thought of the nervous thing. I am known to be a bit high strung now and then. I tell him what I'm doing all the time but I guess he wants something different. I will try to be more relaxed with him. I get very upset when he cries. I hate to see him cry so maybe that feeling in me is making it all worse?? Thanxs for the advice!

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#7 of 7 Old 06-09-2003, 02:20 PM
 
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You sound like you are doing your best. It's okay if you have to put your child down once in awhile to throw away a diaper, pee, cook, whatever - even if it means he'll cry. This doesn't make you a bad mother, or any less AP for that matter, it makes you human with normal limitations.

No matter how AP we are or want to be there are times when we have to put our child down and he/she may not be thrilled about it. The best thing you can do is keep talking so he knows you are there and comfort him when you are able to get back to him. Your child is learning that Mom always comes back and that's a good lesson.
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