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Old 06-11-2003, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a small baby. 11 months old and just 17 1/2 lbs. People are always exclaiming, "wow! Your baby is so small!" I'm not sure how to respond to that. I mena, it's not actually a compliment, so thank you seems inappropriate. I don't know what would be appropriate.

Any ideas???
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Old 06-11-2003, 04:33 PM
 
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I kind of have the same thing on the other end...my 4 month old is 17 lbs. When people make comments on it, I just say something like, "oh, yes, he's such a big boy," or maybe mention all of the good mama milk he gets.
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Old 06-11-2003, 05:12 PM
 
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Dd 's a smaller babe and when people say that I'm like "yup, she's petite...a future model!"
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Old 06-11-2003, 05:18 PM
 
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My ds was always on the small side--for weight. I have a great ped who never made even a whisper about it, and that gave me lots of confidence to tell people how lean bf babies are. Not that you could see bones, but he is a fit boy. I wish people were less influenced by those stupid charts.
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Old 06-11-2003, 09:31 PM
 
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"Yep! S/He's my little angel!"
"Yep! S/He gets to wear an outfit more than twice before growing out of it!"
"Yep! And s/he fits so well in my arms!"
"But s/he's got a really big heart!"

I don't think people are trying to insult you, they may just be surprised. And there's just the small talk people have when you're pregnant or have a baby. Those questions that everyone asks that you get sick of answering to the point that you're thinking about making up t-shirts so you don't have to repeat yourself for the millionth time (or was that just me?).

~Melissa
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Old 06-11-2003, 09:53 PM
 
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Dd2 will be 3 in a couple of weeks, and is all of about 22 lbs. People are STILL commenting on her size. I just say "she's perfect for her size", which really confuses them!!

I have a neighbour whose 17 month old is as tall as, and weighs more than my 35 month old. His shoes are 2 -3 sizes bigger. She is forever commenting on it. But she forgets that she's got a good 50 lbs and an inch on me, and her dh has about 150 lbs on my dh. What does she expect!!!! She only bf for a couple of months, and dd is still nursing, and one day I'm going to tell her that I feed for brains not brawn!!
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Old 06-12-2003, 12:36 AM
 
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I have a small baby too! She's a cute little peanut! At 12 months, she's not quite 16 pounds yet. She fits in my arms just fine! I hear everything to "she's so little" to "my gosh, she's so big!" I figure normal is such a wide range. I just say "Yes, she's petite, I wish I had that tummy!" as her little belly is so cute and pretty flat! I also say "Well, look at us, we're not giants! It's not in her genes to be a big girl!" I'm only 5'2" Dh is about 5'10". We're healthy average weight.

I just smile alot and ignore some people.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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Old 06-12-2003, 12:59 AM
 
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I think that people don't think before commenting.
I tend to have big girls. Lily is 8 months old and currently wears a 2T (she's 25 lbs and 31 in) and Lauren is 3 and wears a 7/8 (she's 46 lbs and 46 in). Alyssa's a little more on the average side at 9 and 55 in and 70 lbs.
I constantly hear comments on how tall Lauren is. People ask why she's not in school since they just assume she's 5 or 6 (not to mention that maybe we homeschool anyway??) and when I say that she's 3, they go on and on about how tall she is. They want to know how big she was at birth, etc, etc.
I usually just say yes she is big for her age and find something else to comment on. I want her to learn that there is so much more to people than their appearance. Plus how rude would I be if I walked up to a grown woman or man and said "Wow you are really big/small" I think that people often forget to give the same respect to children that they would expect for themselves. JMO

Stephanie, mom to 3 big girls ('94, '99 & '02) and to my little guy (12/30/09) intact & CD'ed!
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Old 06-12-2003, 02:25 AM
 
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My girls are both small, too. Dd1 was about 18 pounds at a year, and I imagine dd2 will be smaller still. I just say "Yes, she's petite!" or "Perfection in miniature!" Being a "big girl" myself and not 100% comfortable with that, esp knowing how our society is, I am secretly glad they are small, but if I had a big or chubby baby I would probably make comments about health and all that good momma milk!

SMC to Sophia, age 15, and Eleanor, age 9, and mother hen to too many nursing students to count!

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Old 06-12-2003, 02:28 AM
 
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DD was only 15 lbs at a year old, she was a preemie. My ds is 15 lbs at 4 months! My dd is now 8 years old and weighs 50 lbs and still wears a size 6. She can actually get into a 2T shorts but needs the 6 length! When people comment on how small she is, I usually say "yeah, but she is finally catching up"...talk about confusing people!
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Old 06-12-2003, 11:18 AM
 
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I actually had this happen to me for the first time yesterday -- my ds was born big, but he's been pretty sick a couple of times and was not gaining well either time, plus he's really long. Still, at 7 months and 18 pounds, I don't think he's particularly small.

So a woman at the grocery store yesterday asked me how old he was, and when I told her 7 months, she said "Wow, you're awful little for your age, aren't you? He's small for seven months!"

I just said, "Nah; he's perfect." She didn't say anything else.

Carrie
Mama to Nate (11/02) and due 4/12/11
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Old 06-12-2003, 01:38 PM
 
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My dd was only 15 1/2 lbs at one year, 17 1/2 lbs at 18mo and at 2y was only 22 1/2 lbs (ped was not concerned). My ds is the total opposite.

Anyway, a lot of people commented on her petite-ness and we usually said something to the effect of "well, Bill and I aren't very big" (dh is 5'8" and I'm 5'2" neither of us is very big) or "she's going to be a petite lil thing!". It got old, but people weren't really insulting us... they're just used to the bigger babies, that's all!

Now I'm hearing the "he's so big comments". :

Either way, I'm proud of my babies!
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Old 06-12-2003, 01:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by girlzmommy00
Plus how rude would I be if I walked up to a grown woman or man and said "Wow you are really big/small" I think that people often forget to give the same respect to children that they would expect for themselves. JMO
Didn't you know that pregnant and nursing moms and lil ones are exempt from that rule? : <sigh>
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Old 06-12-2003, 04:22 PM
 
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I'm the rudest of them all I guess! When people comment on how BIG my daughter is I say to them "She's not that big but you're pretty big yourself! You must have a HUGE appetite!"
It shuts them right up!
As the perpetually tallest girl in my class, being constantly told how BIG I was for my age, yada, yada...I will NOT have my daughter go through the same thing and I don't care who I insult in the process of defending her size.

I myself am 5'9" and 180lbs. My husband is 6'1" and 210lbs. To me it's a no brainer that she would be "big."
I'll also add that I can't stand useless small talk...when asked "When's your due date?" I would reply "Sometime in February." "Oh really! February what?!" "February whenever the baby wants to come." Cause otherwise you hear about how their Uncle's girlfriend's sister-in-laws birthday is February something or the other. : The worst thing is that usually the smalltalk occurs in some shopping place where I really like to be left alone by strangers!
So don't get me wrong folks, I do like people, just not stupid ones!
Lynn

Opinionated Mama to dd 2/23/03, ds 3/20/05 hbac, dd 1/23/08 2hbac, and baby #4 due in June 2010!
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Old 06-12-2003, 07:41 PM
 
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I think you *should* say, "Why thank you!" It will draw their attention to the fact that they didn't think that comment out too well. Besides, what are they going to say next, "Oh, I didn't mean it as a compliment"??

"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."
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Old 06-13-2003, 04:47 AM
 
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Gotta love some people, don't ya! : I really notice a difference in our mommy group between breastfed & bottlefed babies. It seems like the people whose babies I see the most are bottlefed lil chunks (which I say with love, cause they are very happy & cute, too! ), while my ds is 4 1/2 months, 14 lbs, 23 3/4 inches (yea, we just had a well baby checkup today :LOL), and fitting wonderfully into the bulk of his 0 - 3 month wardrobe!

When people comment on his smallness, I usually:

1. point out that I am 5 ft tall & my dh is 5 ft 6,
2. comment on how much longer that he will be able to fit into all his cute clothes, or
3. say that I'm satisfied with him more than doubling his birth weight in 4 months!

And I don't usually mind if I am asked the same q's about him over & over -- more often than not, people's eyes glaze over from my constant babble about how he *really* can grab for his toy spider & loves to chew on the crackly part, is drooling up a storm, although he may not cut any teeth for quite a while, is taking his naps better & better, is......etc., etc., etc.,

That said, when I am working/busy, I am totally with Melissa on getting the t-shirt made up -- I almost made a pin when I was pregnant "yes, I'm really big; yes, my feet hurt; he's due on February 7th, yes, I'll be sure to try to have him on your second cousin's husband's birthday; yes, he's a boy; yes, we like the name Ian, I'm really glad he'll have the same name as your sister-in-law's brothers child...." (I was a waitress, so I talked to LOTS of people -- and had to be nice if I wanted to make the big $$ :LOL)

When I'm at the store now, I say, "sorry, if I stop movin' he'll fuss!" and keep walking. Mostly I'm so busy talking to him & petting him while pushing the cart that I don't have a chance to make eye contact with other people & they leave me alone!

Irishmommy -- I love it! :LOL feeding for brains not brawn...I'll have to remember that!!
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Old 06-13-2003, 09:46 AM
 
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I had a 5lbs 12ouce baby in August of last year. Every comment was "omg he's so cute and tiny".

At 10 months and 21 lbs he's still "omg he's so cute and tiny".

I just figure if they keep saying it at 18 years old I'll tell them they should get glasses or have their prescription renewed.
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Old 06-13-2003, 02:59 PM
 
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People have definitely been conditioned to see big babies as the norm. The more we learned about healthy nutrition during pregnancy, the bigger babes have become over the years, and the more babies were fed formula, the bigger they grew faster. And of course, just walking around town nowadays, you see very large people in this country.

I really like the comment "feeding for brains, not brawn". I'll have to remember that cause dd at 11 mos is in the 15th percentile in weight. Of course, dh and myself are probably in the 15th percentile too if they have a chart for adults.

I usually say, "yes, my little peanut". I actually like her small cause I know she's not going to stay that way very long at all....
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Old 06-13-2003, 03:11 PM
 
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I just wanted to reply to the parent who says she hears both that her baby is small AND large for her/his age. This happens to me too. I think allot of the times people are just trying to make conversation so that they can have the good fortune of being with your baby for a little longer. One day when I was pregnant I was told - within an hour of each other - that I was really big and really small for my gestation.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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Old 06-13-2003, 06:59 PM
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I think the ....THANK YOU response is appropriate ! .
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Old 06-15-2003, 03:46 AM
 
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My DD just turned 11 months old and was 16 lbs 15oz a couple of days ago. I always get the "She is soo small comments". Especially since she has been walking for a couple of weeks and that catches people off guard since she looks younger.

I just say tell them that she is following in my footsteps since I was only 17 1/2 pounds at 1 year. I sometimes get irritated, but oh well. I am glad she is light! Since she still likes to be carried a lot!

I don't think people realize that mom's in general take comments personally sometimes. Mom's of skinny babes think that they are insinuating that they don't feed them enough and mom's of chubby babes think they are saying they feed them too much. I try not to take it personal, especially since I know that she is just taking after me!

Since she is a carbon copy of her father, I often say that she got that from me!

Try not to let it bother you. But I can totally relate!! I have also been known to say that "We think she is perfect!"

pepper
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Old 06-15-2003, 04:16 AM
 
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this always bothers me, but I am used to it now. I have a teeny tiny 19lb6 25 month old, and people are ALWAYS making comments. Ie. "was he premature?", "is he alright?" etcetc. It bugs me but I ignore them most of the time.
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Old 06-15-2003, 04:30 AM
 
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I agree with HannahSims that people are often just trying to say *something* Our baby has been at 50-60 percentile for everything and we still get comments about being "big" or "small"--I don't really know what to say, and am not bothered about it--just usually answer, "I don't know, really? Her last appointment was a few weeks ago, so I'm not sure what she weighs..." Seems to make the comments pass quickly.
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Old 06-16-2003, 01:25 AM
 
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my dd is almost a year. she was a preemie and weighed just under 3 1/2 lbs at birth. she is still so incredibly tiny that she isn't even on the curve.

my doctor isn't too worried, but the nurses harrass me every time i bring her in. we're just shorties, on both sides of the family. i'm about 5' and dh is only an inch or 2 taller than me. his mom is 4'11". short happens, i guess.

what really irks me is when people ask me how old baby is, and i tell them, & they tell me i must be mistaken! excuse me, i'm her mother! i know how old she is! when i say, "she's 11 months," people always say, "oh, you mean 11 weeks!" it totally miffs me!

peace
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