DH just told me that he got tickets to see the Blue Man Group in 3 weeks. The show is at an outdoor pavillion, but we have seats under the pavillion.
DH arranged for a good friend of mine-a woman who has 2 grown kids, to come and watch dd while we are gone. I totally trust this woman and really like her, but dd does not know her.
My problem is that we will probably be gone 6 hrs and it will be in the evening/night.
I am really torn as to what to do. I am worried that if I leave dd for that long in the evening she will cry and cry (it is REALLY hard to get her to sleep and even when I am home, if I don't do exactly what she wants she cries for me too)
I could bring her with us, but I am not sure that is appropriate.
What would you do?
In my opinion, it's so not worth it to go at this young of age. To be blunt, who gives a damn if you and your DH and everyone on the planet like this babysitter? You said your DD doesn't know her and your DD needs lots of attention and reassurance (and probably nursing) to sleep at night.
I would not go.
Good luck in your decision.
this is a group that we really want to see! They don't normally tour at all. DH was trying to be nice by arranging this surprise.
Does anyone else have any opinions? I don't think we should not go at all?!
I had a similar problem when I had to go for gallbladder surgery. I had to stay overnight, the hopsital was 1.5 hours away from where I live and I had no one other than my mother to stay with Morgan overnight. He NEVER went down for anyone but me before. So I had a test night, where she came over and out him to bed. I stayed away from him for the entire hour while she bathed him and got him down...and I was suprised at how well he handled it. It definetely made me feel less stressed over leaving him knowing he did handle it okay.
He was 10 months at the time (I had it done last week) not sure if that has anything to do with how well he handled it.
Best case scenario: Maybe baby will be enthralled by the sounds, lights and other action from the Group and love the show too?
Bring baby and plan to leave your seat and walk round with her in a sling until she conks out. Or do whatever it is you do at home to get her to sleep. Or is she doesn't conk out andis fussy, plan on just listening to the music and laughter from out in the field, as you stand and sway.
Let baby get to know the sitter before you leave. Tell her exactly what baby needs for comfort at night. Is she taking bottles? If she never has, and you expect this woman to introduce one suddenly, that would be unlikely to happen.
I've seen Blue Man and I love them! OTOH, they will be on tour again. I saw them in Boston, WITH my kids, WHEN they were old enough to appreciate it too! Taking babies/toddlers to music events and festivals can be done, but it changes the whole experience.
IF you do get this woman to babysit, I agree with a "test" run and letting your baby get to know her.
and IMHO, I don't think it would be innappropriate to take baby with you......
So do what feels best to you......and HAVE FUN!!!
I've done this with meetings & other events. I have a much better time knowing she is close by, and can come to me/have me paged etc, when needed. Then we are together in the car, nurse before the event, see each other right afterwards.
If you've "hired" a sitter, they may not mind whether they are at your home vs. in your car with a sleeping babe, at a nearby diner, park, etc.
BTW I did go with a very small (3 months?) dd to a concert - I was so excited bc it was free because I wolunteered for something. I totally underestimated the noise level!! It was awful!! I was afraid *I* woud go deaf, much less my babe. I left quickly.
I don't know this particular group, so you could judge sound level better than me.
We just had our first sitter experiance. dd was just under 6months by a week. She doesn't take a bottle. We did do trial day for a couple of hours just to see how she would do. When I cam e home she took one look at me and burst into giggles. she had a g reat time where everyone in the house was showering her with attention and she just wanted me to know that she loved it. and then she nursed and fell asleep. The next day, she was there for 7 hours. She is eating solids so she had that (maybe 3-4 tablespoons of food) ans then took a little milk from a sippy cup but other than that she jkust held out for the real deal.
So any way you r dh seems open to whatever. I would say just give it a try. A couple of hours isn't going to hurt anything. go for a walk with dh and check in every now and then. if she does fine perhaps you csan make it to the concert or out to dinner or whatever while she is still happy. call in and check. make sure the sitter can check in with you. Maybe you could arrange for her to drop your dd off at the concert if she gets fussy. If your dd ends up needing to be there find a place less loud and hang out. maybe she will enjoy the concert. I have taken my children to lots of concerts when they were babies. but you never know. your baby may love the sitter. Some kids really enjoy the change of pace. I put Ava in the church nursery for the first time the other day. She loved it. I couldn't believe it. I thought she would be just misreable. go figure.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
We took dd to a movie (very loud) when she was about 3 mo, and she nursed to sleep out in the lobby, and then slept through the whole noisy 2 hours in the sling.
If you're OK with walking around, or leaving if she gets overstimulated by the noise/activity and starts to cry and won't settle down, then bring her along. Most likely, no one will even notice you have her with you.
If you want to go and really focus on the show and enjoy the time with dh, then leave her with the sitter. Chances are she'll be OK. I left dd at 2 mo with my brother and SIL so dh and I could celebrate our first wedding anniversary with dinner out (can you say "unplanned pregnancy"?). We were gone for about 3 hours. They just kept trying different things to keep her from crying. They'd try something new each time she started fussing, and it would work for about 10-15 minutes. It may not have been ideal, but we all survived.
And if you're worried about dd not knowing the babysitter, have a trial run or arrange to have someone more familiar take care of her - someone could even walk around with her in the sling or stroller while the show's on, and you could be with her right before and right after (cut down on the length of time she's not with you). I know lots of people do that if there's someplace to go nearby or it's nice out.
I know I have to decide for myself what to do, but it is so helpful to have others experiences to think about.
My friend who is offering to babysit has 2 kids, both of which were high need babies, so she knows what to expect.
I know that dd will be fine and that eventually she will have to get used to being without me! She will take a bottle, so I am not worried about that!
I have a lot to think about! Thanks again for your help!
I also think it would probably be fine to leave dd at home. I was a baby-sitter for MANY years, and was often left with a baby who had never really been left before. It was always fine. Especially since you would be leaving her with someone who is very experienced with babies, and isn't about to put her down and let her cry.
For me, the deciding factor would probably be how I thought I'd be able to best enjoy the show. If you went with dd, would you be too paraniod about her making a scene? If you left her behind, would you be worrying about her the whole time?
Do what feels right. But definitely go!!
Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
i havent read all of the replies, but i know where you are coming from. i took dd at 3.5 mos to see bob dylan and she was great. tonite we are going to the dead, but she will be staying with my parents. she has never been alone with them, but our whole family spends every sunday with them so she knows them very well. i am still pretty freaked out about it, but since we are in the orchestra pit this time and not on the lawn, i think she will be happier.
Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan age8, Ava age 4 and baby Georgia (6/3/11).
I don't mean to be a sourpuss about it, because there are so many great shows out this summer! I know what you're going through trying to decide. good luck!