Have I created a bad sleeptime habit? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS is 10 mos and the only way he will fall asleep in bed is nursing. It can take me up to 8 attempts to unlatch and sneak away. I used to think it was adorable but now I'm wondering if I've created a bad habit - nobody else can put him down for naps or bedtime.

And my husband would like him moved into his own bed soon... I don't imagine how we might accomplish this right now.

Anyone else have thoughts or experience with this?

Happy Momma , sharing life with my of a DH, DS Rumi (Aug '06) and DD Leela (July '09)
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#2 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 04:31 PM
 
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From my own experience, because that was us until DD weaned at 2.75 years, it won't last forever and it's a VERY hard habit to break in the meantime. So I'd say just stick it out because in retrospect it really doesn't last that long!

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#3 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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Perfectly normal. Humans are designed to nurse to sleep. Pretty silly to fight it.

-Angela
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#4 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 06:12 PM
 
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Hmm, my DD will sleep in the baby Bjorn, while I am walking, and the baby carriage, while it is moving, if she has been fed and is tired. Meaning, the movement gets her to sleep. But most of the time, and always at night, it is on my boob that will get her to sleep. And if she is restless, or it is really hot.... then it can be 4 boobs and 1.5 hours before she sleeps. And then mt unlatching and trying to get up often backfires. So in your same boat. And yes, sometimes it is annoying, so I hope someone else has a better tip or suggestion.
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#5 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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We had the same situation over here except ds is 6mo. I would say try to get him to go down other ways for naps so that he knows he can go to sleep other ways. Holding ds while bouncing on a yoga ball always works, or putting him on my back in the mei tai. That being said, we almost always just nurse to sleep because it's easy and it works for us.

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#6 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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Depending on the reason your husband wants him moved, it might help to sidecar a crib with one side off; that's what we do. We unfortunately have to bottle-feed, but I am able to sort of lean into the crib and cuddle DS there while I feed him in a nursing position. So nursing your DS in a sidecar crib would be do-able, especially with a 10-month-old who can help latch himself.
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#7 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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I second the sidecar crib idea. We do that, and it is a really nice option. After DD nurses to sleep, I might slip awway, or wait for her to get into a deeper sleep then transfer her to the crib. Now, I have only done this twice in about a month, but I am working on it. Sometimes at night I sneak her back into the bed because I love sleeping with her. DH complains there is not enough room, and I don't like him sleeping on the floor. It is a good compromise, IMO.
Good luck.

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#8 of 24 Old 06-09-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Perfectly normal. Humans are designed to nurse to sleep. Pretty silly to fight it.

-Angela
Can you explain this to me? How are we designed to nurse to sleep? If that is true why do adults fall asleep without it. I am very confused about this comment.

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#9 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 03:11 AM
 
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Can you explain this to me? How are we designed to nurse to sleep? If that is true why do adults fall asleep without it. I am very confused about this comment.
I don't want to speak for Alegna, but I believe that breastmilk has an enzyme (or some other component that my non-scientific mind can't think of) that naturally makes babies sleepy. So, it makes you wonder - if nature intended for breastmilk to make babies fall asleep, why are we all so worried when our babies nurse to sleep?
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#10 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 05:16 AM
 
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I put my 11 month old down for naps in the same way. I used to really worry about how I could leave him with a babysitter as he wouldn't be able to go to sleep without me. I even tried other ways to get him to sleep for a while, but nursing to sleep is the easiest way to do it and when you're on your own all day with a lo you just do what's easiest. Anyway, I needn't have worried. Just recently I've been doing a bit of work here and there and have started leaving him with the in-laws for half a day. They get him to sleep just fine, either by rocking him or putting him in the stroller. It probably takes them a bit longer than it would me, but they're so happy to do it. It's probably easier for a sitter to spend a long time rocking a baby, as they don't have to try to get other things done and they don't have to do it everyday. As for bedtime, have you tried nursing him to sleep, holding him until he is in a deep sleep, then putting him in his own bed?
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#11 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 11:33 AM
 
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Can you explain this to me? How are we designed to nurse to sleep? If that is true why do adults fall asleep without it. I am very confused about this comment.
Look at any mammal. All mammals tend to nurse to sleep as infants. There are plenty of things that are different for infants and toddlers compared to adults.

-Angela
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#12 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 11:39 AM
 
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I don't really think it's a bad thing to nurse before sleep. How else do you get them to relax? I always nursed my before bed and do it with my 6 month old too. We make sure to have an early bedtime though, so putting him to sleep BEFORE we leave for an evening makes it easier to have someone sit.

You might try sticking a pacifier in baby's mouth after you are done nursing. Maybe if she's able to continue sucking on something she'll be easier to release. That's what I do with my baby and it works well.
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#13 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 08:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happy2bamama View Post
I don't want to speak for Alegna, but I believe that breastmilk has an enzyme (or some other component that my non-scientific mind can't think of) that naturally makes babies sleepy. So, it makes you wonder - if nature intended for breastmilk to make babies fall asleep, why are we all so worried when our babies nurse to sleep?
One of the lactation consultants that I saw told me this, too. She also said that it releases hormones in mom that bond her to baby and make her want to sleep as well.
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#14 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 11:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rumismom View Post
My DS is 10 mos and the only way he will fall asleep in bed is nursing. It can take me up to 8 attempts to unlatch and sneak away. I used to think it was adorable but now I'm wondering if I've created a bad habit - nobody else can put him down for naps or bedtime.

And my husband would like him moved into his own bed soon... I don't imagine how we might accomplish this right now.

Anyone else have thoughts or experience with this?
We're in the same boat. I agree with a pp who said it's such a short time in their life so thinking about that can sometimes make it bearable. Granted, that's the last thing I'm thinking when he's been attached all day and I just want to pee in private. It's very rare that I can get him to nap in his pack 'n' play (we don't have a crib) during the day. He'll fall asleep nursing in the afternoon, but I can hardly ever put him down. He'll pass out in the car, too, but he snaps awake the second we pull into the driveway. He nurses to sleep at night, before I'm ready to go to bed. It usually takes me a few tries to unlatch him and put him down. I pick him back up a few hours later and take him to bed with me.
Now, other people can get him to sleep just fine. My mom and my hubby can get him to sleep by rocking him or walking him around. As long as he doesn't see me, he'll easily drift off.

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#15 of 24 Old 06-10-2007, 11:36 PM
 
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Here's a good link for you that I just came across:

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sl...rtnursing.html
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#16 of 24 Old 06-11-2007, 02:09 AM
 
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I wish my DD would still nurse to sleep. It still happens sometimes if she is super tired, but it use to be the no-fail way to get her to sleep. Now bedtime is a lot more work.

: 10/06 : 10/09
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#17 of 24 Old 06-11-2007, 09:42 AM
 
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I wish my DD would still nurse to sleep. It still happens sometimes if she is super tired, but it use to be the no-fail way to get her to sleep. Now bedtime is a lot more work.
OMG, this is us! I was so happy when DD was about 3 mos and didn't have to be nursed to sleep. Now I just wish it would do the trick. She's only 6 mos and getting her to bed can take over an hour sometimes! Every once in a while I can nurse her to sleep, but mostly it doesn't do the trick.
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#18 of 24 Old 06-12-2007, 06:25 PM
 
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im in the same boat...3 mo will not fall asleep unless being held or in the swing or in the car.....

ok ive got my bullet proof vest on!!! i pop out the boob and stick in the paci!!! dont shoot me in the face..please
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#19 of 24 Old 06-12-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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No sugjestions but I feel for ya. DD is 5 mo and has to nurse to sleep plus we got her used to having the tv on which we are trying to break her of. I have been working on that for about 2 weeks now. Unfortunately it happened because I would nurse her to sleep but then she would wake up when we actually went to bed and dh would turn it on. This became her sleep signal.

I guess I do have a sugjestion:

Maybe thats what you need to do is change the sleep signal. It may cause an upheval in bedtime for a little while, but it will should work out in the end. I would try nursing and rocking then puting him down to sleep in your bed for a while then switching him to his own bed. It is sugjested that you don't stop both at once. I know you said it is imposible to unlatch him after he falls asleep, but if yu wait until he is fully relaxed and truly to sleep (thats what Dr. Sears says to do) he should fall off on his own. Just a sugjestion.
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#20 of 24 Old 06-12-2007, 11:10 PM
 
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First, my DD2 falls asleep nursing, most, though not all, of the time. I love it because DD1 never fell asleep that way (weird, I know) and this is my last baby. IMHO, there is really nothing sweeter than a baby falling sleep at your breast and in your arms. I find it peaceful and easeful for both of us and often DD1 will just sit quietly and snuggle with us too. I love it!! At least for now! Anyway, if you want to change it, I agree with pp that it will cause some upheaval for a while, but I think you could change it, if so inclined, with some persistence and time. Also check out No Cry Sleep Solution (NCSS) for ideas.

Second, for moonbeam, have you tried white noise to replace the TV? Or you could gradually lower the TV volume over the course of week or so and then try cutting it out altogether? The latter is a NCSS suggestion for phasing out music as a sleep aid so maybe it will word for TV too?
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#21 of 24 Old 06-12-2007, 11:17 PM
 
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nak

My last son was just this way. It was very frustrating at times. I eventually got over the fact that it was a pain, and started loving it.

It may just be the way it has to be.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#22 of 24 Old 06-12-2007, 11:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Look at any mammal. All mammals tend to nurse to sleep as infants. There are plenty of things that are different for infants and toddlers compared to adults.

-Angela
all mammals? that's a pretty diverse group. can you give specific examples? some mammals also learn to walk within the first few hours of their birth. that isn't true for human babies. ergo, that is too wide a generalization.
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#23 of 24 Old 06-13-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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While our ds will sometimes fall asleep by being carried or given a finger to suck on at other times of the day, the evening ritual is always nursing to sleep. I'm actually very thankful that this works fairly consistently these days. There used to be much less certainty about how and when I would get him to sleep. I hope that it will continue to work this well.

happily married sahmommy to almost 3yo son
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#24 of 24 Old 06-13-2007, 02:24 AM
 
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i echo many posts here - when i am putting DD to sleep, she wants to nurse, but other caregivers can get her to sleep other ways. she may be a bit more fussy for them, but has gone to sleep in the stroller, baby bjorn, carseat, held in rocking chair, held in arms, read to, sung to - the only constant seems to be that she needs her paci.
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