Originally Posted by GradysMom
So what do you do with your self when you are trying to get involved in a play group, an AP play group, you set up an activity, people say they will come and then EVERYONE stands you up. UGH! No calls to cancel, one email from one mother... the rest are a no-show.
I feel so rejected.
And I spent some energy telling 10mo ds that "people" were comming over to play. I can't imagine how I would explain this to him when he is older. Luckily it is going right over his head now.
I just feel so yucky that my attempt to socialize, beyond my comfort zone, for him, have been thwarted.
This happened with our little playgroup. The first time we had a date and a place to meet, we all flaked out.
: It wasn't intentional - some of us had unexpected temper tantrums, or the kids came down with a cold... you know - regular things. The only reason it was an issue was because none of us called the mom who was hosting that first playdate to let her know, so she sat around all afternoon waiting and wondering what the heck happened. All of us got caught up, and we each thought that our presence wouldn't even be missed. I know it never occurred to me that the three other moms wouldn't show!
She handled it beautifully - she sent a gentle email to the moms in our group (only about four or five at the time) and asked what happened to everyone, let us know that she waited for us all afternoon, and that she would like it in the future if we could call if our plans change at the last minute so she can be aware. You can't believe how chagrined we were. I felt HORRIBLE, and of course I could totally know how I would have felt if no one showed when I hosted.
Anyway -- yes, it was rude that no one called or emailed you, but it probably wasn't intentional or personal AT ALL. I think a nice email from you letting them know that you understand things can come up, but that you were really looking forward to getting together and were disappointed. Ask them if plans change at the last minute, could they please call next time to let you know - in case you want to change your plans accordingly.
If this is a first playgroup experience for a lot of the moms in your group, then that might have a lot to do with it... they may be unsure of the etiquette involved. (I know, it seems like common sense. But...) And if they've been in other playgroups, it could be that no one ever called and it never was brought up and was accepted.
(((hugs))) and keep on! Getting a core group going can be tricky at first, but it's well worth it. You aren't doing anything wrong at all!!