June '07 Moms *July Thread* - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#361 of 395 Old 07-27-2007, 07:45 PM
 
adoremybabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Willo-When Annie went through her first growth spirt I didn't notice the "intensity" or sore nipples that others here have been describing. I think that at almost 8 weeks she is going through another spirt. Pretty much all she has been doing is eating and sleeping for the past 2 days..... and of course she gives me dirty diapers to change!

I envy the fact that it sounds like you have nice safe places to walk. We live in the country on a fairly dangerous road that I do not feel comfortable walking with two kiddos. So now I have to muster up the energy to drive 10-20 minutes to a paved trail alongside a different highway inorder to get a good walk in. Oh how I dreadfully miss living in the city! Yes, living in the country has it's advantages but, there is nothing like the convenience of living in the city.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

adoremybabe is offline  
#362 of 395 Old 07-27-2007, 10:34 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dara00 View Post
willo, we got the same stroller! I love it. and so does my dd! actually ds likes his bottom part too, where he sleeps when we walk!
I am salivating over this stroller but the price almost made me pass out. I thought my maclaren was a lot a few years back. But if my ds were still in a stroller regularly I'd buy it. It is sooooo nice!

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#363 of 395 Old 07-28-2007, 04:34 PM
 
Robbins0614's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 730
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just had a weird experience at the grocery store-I'm kinda perturbed. DH was carrying DS in the sling and a woman came up to me and said something to the effect that we had a little guy. I told her that he is 7 weeks and she wanted to know why mommy wasn't carrying him and then walked off. That's the first time anyone has ever criticized us for having an involved daddy. I couldn't believe it! Sorry, had to vent about that one.

Jessica-Wife to Tim and SAHM to DS (6/07) and : due 4/10
Robbins0614 is offline  
#364 of 395 Old 07-28-2007, 05:22 PM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can someone include a pic of this stroller, I am really curious to see it now. We are not big stroller people, we have one in the car that we use very rarely, I sling DD and Ds usually walks with us now, I do have a very old jogging stroller (double) that I may utilize once DD is sitting up. Anyway I haven't researched strollers much and I am just curious.

DD went/is going through her 6 week growth spurt, it has been kind of nice to have her sleep so much. Although my breasts are very full again and I am having more spraying issues. This is a good time to stock up on EBM as I am starting to push a bottle at least once a day. DS never took a bottle and it was a lot of stress as I couldn't leave him EVER
I have decided that I have to figure out a way to bring in money, it just has to happen, I just don't know what to do. What do all the WAHM do? Honestly I have been a nanny and preschool teacher and childcare provider for a long time and I am really not interested in watching other peoples children again, I need something different, what do you all do to make money?

Oh Today is DH and my 6 year anniversary. We aren't doing too much, we went to the farmers market earlier and had a picnic, later we are going to a friends house for a BBQ. I didn't expect to have a kid-free date with DH so we are just trying to enjoy the day. We will have many other anniversaries ahead of us that will be kid-free I suppose.
Apparently DD is huge at 12lbs now at nearly 7 weeks, she looks and feels big to me too, I feel like I am losing my itty-bitty newborn.

http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...fun7-07035.jpg

Here is a recent picture, I just love this little hat on DD and wanted to share before she grows out of it.

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#365 of 395 Old 07-28-2007, 06:24 PM
 
mataji4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
herbmama, i understand your sentiments about not wanting to take care of other people's kids again, and i've felt that way too, until i started my own nursery/preschool program. it's a waldorf program (if that means anything to you, i don't know), 3 mornings a week for 4 hours. and why i think it works for me is that *i* choose the kids who come. the interviews are two way, so i only ever have kids that i really love to be with. i do it in my home with my youngest child with me, and now the baby will be here too. i make incredible money for the hours- $3000/school year tuition per child and i have 7 kids. this year i'm hiring an assistant, but even then i'll be making about $1500/month. like you, i only ever worked as a nanny and teacher, so i didn't really have any other skills to work with, but luckily i found something that works for me.

we went strawberry picking yesterday with the kids! i put bjorn on the scale there and he weighs about 15 pounds!!! what a big boy. and so good to sleep this afternoon while i made 27 half pints of yummy jam!

i don't need a stroller but i AM really wanting a didymos wrap, which are super expensive too. the moby is just too much material- the thickness of it makes it so bulky on my shoulders. and for back wraps i just think it's too stretchy. anyone have any leads on a cheaper didymos? have one you don't want??

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

mataji4 is offline  
#366 of 395 Old 07-28-2007, 06:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
PatchChild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Argh, fever. Owen got his shots yesterday and has been running a fever since. I know it's normal and should fade soon, but having a sick baby stinks. This is the first time he (and I) have had to deal with him feeling bad and it's just no fun. Fortunately, he's sleeping lots and eating plenty. I can't bear to have him out of reach though so I've had my little furnace attached to me all day. After almost no sleep, this has been one long day. My poor baby. I hate knowing that he feels bad because of something I chose, but I know he needed the shots. Rough day.
PatchChild is offline  
#367 of 395 Old 07-28-2007, 09:44 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mataji- How did you start your schoo? Do you have a cert as a waldorf teacher, and if not do you have any trouble from local waldorf schools? Well, not "trouble", but you know what I mean.

We are thinking that I might be able to stay home, but we need a bit more room in the budget...in NY I can watch one kiddo (other than my own) without a cert. But although I've worked with kids I've never done "day care". So I'm curious about everyone's experiences.

I'm thinking about "stepping up" my home based business too...I make and sell beeswax balms. But I've been really laid back the last few years so...

gah it's humid here!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#368 of 395 Old 07-29-2007, 12:19 AM
 
dara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: KS by way of NJ
Posts: 1,337
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Molly, this is the stroller: http://www.philandteds.com/nz/sportdouble_07_1.htm
although it doesn't show the newborn position!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
dara00 is offline  
#369 of 395 Old 07-29-2007, 05:19 PM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow that stroller is very cool, but the price! Anyway, I have considered the preschool option, but we live in a condo which is definately too small to convert to a preschool of some sort. I am considering going back to a pre-school I used to work at and bring the kids, it would cut my pay to have the kids there, but I would be able to be with them too. Well see, I am still wracking my brain and thinking of options.

DH leaves for another business trip today: for ten days! This is the third one since DD was born, I am so sick of them I could scream!! I feel like a single parent when he is gone and I don't have family close enough to help, so it is all on me, it really wears me down.

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#370 of 395 Old 07-30-2007, 09:16 AM
 
willoLevin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston's north shore; also Oregon
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay, so I think A. just went through his 6 week growth spurt from Friday through yesterday. Well, whatever the reason, last night, he got back to an easier schedule. I fed him at 9 pm (followed by a 1 oz bottle), then I woke him up to nurse at 1:45 am (followed by 1.5 oz of EBM in a bottle), then 4:45 am (no bottle) and just now at 7 am (no bottle.) The two nights before were quite a bit tougher than that! I feel almost human this morning, except...

...I've had a headache since yesterday noontime. I wonder if it is changing barometric pressure? We've got overcast and thunderstorms this morning. It's a nice change from the hot and muggy weather, but I wish it would go away.

And along those lines (aches & pains & medical stuff), is anyone else still taking daily analgesics? I cut back from the prescription ibuprofin (800 mg pills 3x/day) that I needed immediately post-partum to OTC Advil (200 mg 4x/day), but I find that, if I stop completely, I have pain when I use the breastpump, and, to a lesser extent, when nursing... I've been a bit remiss in scheduling my 6 week pp checkup, so I'll ask them when I go in next week, but I'm curious if anyone else is still on drugs.

Oh, but back to my BF experience. We did need to resort to a bit of formula over the weekend (during the constant-feedings-growth-spurt), but probably only a couple of ounces each day. Then I got to where I was pumping just enough for the next feeding (from a few pumping sessions today, I was back up to pumping 6x/day yesterday), but as of this minute I have three of four small bottles (.75 - 2 oz each--but that's just the amount of extra A. usually needs) in the fridge again, so I feel "safer".

A. looks visibly bigger as of yesterday, so I guess all that nursing really was feeding him, not just my supply vanishing (as I am wont to fear whenever he fusses.) He is seeming a lot more interested in the rest of us, too, which feels good. I find the newborn phase simultaneously exhausting and frustrating, honestly. I don't even think they are as cute when they are tiny and skinny! I'm so ready for a rounded, interactive baby to cuddle! What a relief. And if he starts sleeping more, like, God willing, we were getting a preview of last night, I will be in heaven.

Oh, and as for stroller expense. Yeah, it sucks. No one tell my husband what I paid for the Phil & Ted's! Honestly, good quality side-by-side doubles were even more--$600 to as much as $800! Yikes. I figure, at least this model will serve A. as a single stroller for the next several years while S. is off at school more and more hours. I also think I could, by next spring, put A. in the "big kid" seat up front and carry home a few bags of groceries in the flat "newborn" seat. We really do tend to walk a lot of errands (I hate to drive), and I literally wore out our first buggy (a very nice Bertini Sport that was about $300) walking miles and miles every day with S. when he was little. Three places I'll spend a LOT on baby gear to get top quality: organic food, strollers, and car seats!

--willo
willoLevin is offline  
#371 of 395 Old 07-30-2007, 02:49 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Molly: I'm sorry your DH has to be away so much, that must be hard. My DH works really long hours on many days and isn't home until after we are alseep and that is hard enough, I couldn't imagine him being completely gone for days at a time. I hope the business trips end soon.

DS2 is starting school in a few weeks, it is going to be weird having him away and just being here with DS2. DS2 is doing great now, he's off his lasix and seems to be fine. He's actually sleeping in the pack and play right now He hardly ever sleeps when I put him down so I'm shocked. I'm trying to get him used to sleeping in there during the day because he's getting heavy and carrying him around all day long is hurting my back and neck.

We were rear ended Saturday for the second time in a few months. This time I was stopped at a stop sign and the lady slammed into me for no apparent reason. Then she started yelling at me even though I was being really nice to her. She was a total jerk, telling me I was "not smart" for bringing a baby in public that just had heart surgery. It was awful. I had to call the police to get her info because she refused to give it to me, now my back and neck hurt. Poor little DS2, this is his second car accident since birth. Luckily DS1 was not there, the lady was really rude and I wouldn't want him there for somthing like that.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#372 of 395 Old 07-30-2007, 04:19 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Jilian- OMG mama...how crazy! Perhaps the universe is trying to get you on a bus for some reason? Yoicks though, and I'm glad you and Evan are okay.

Quote:
I'm curious if anyone else is still on drugs.
I took Lortab every 4 hours for the first 5 days home (I had the super-advil and percocet in hospital). Then I did a 3x day triple dose of advil (so 600mg) for the first 4 weeks, then the regular dose 3x day (400mg) for two weeks. I don't take the advil every day now, but probably 3-4 times a week I'll take advil to help with pain/swelling.

I do what I can in terms of holistic/natural health...but I don't have a problem with taking pain medication when I know the source of the pain and when I know I'm doing what I can to address that source.

ETA- I'm looking into getting a stroller buggy board (around 80 bucks) but we're going to wait and see if we need it. DD1 hasn't used the stroller in probably 8-9 months, and my mom is the only one who wont be slinging dd2 so...finger's crossed!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#373 of 395 Old 07-30-2007, 10:31 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish there were busses or some other kind of transportation around here! We live in the middle of nowhere so walking isn't even an option. The nearest supermarket is 15 mins by car, it would probably take well over an hour to walk and it is way too hot down here in SW FL.

Does anyone else feel like they have lost some of their passion for parenting? I used to get excited about doing fun things with DS and now I have zero motivation or energy to do anything fun. I don't know if it is lack of sleep, constant caring for a NB, or a touch of PPD or even PTSD. Does anyone else feel less interested in doing kid things now that there is a new baby in the mix? I also find that my patience is a little shorter. I feel bad for DS because he is used to me playing with him all the time, but if I see candyland one more time I swear I will throw it out the window! Luckily DH has a great imagination and plays with DS all the time. I just can't do it.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#374 of 395 Old 07-30-2007, 10:57 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hope it is ok to post this. A member of our DDC lost her daughter, Apecaut's baby was born still : I had no idea until just now. Here is a link to the thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=705256 I just thought all of you might want to know

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#375 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 08:50 AM
 
willoLevin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston's north shore; also Oregon
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have to tell you, I read Jilian's last post last night, and then couldn't even respond. I cried myself to sleep after my last pumping session at 4 am.

Especially because I had been thinking of my reply to Jilian's previous post before I read about Apecaut's tragedy.

Because, honestly, I have been having a tough time finding my balance in parenting two children. I do get irritated by S., with whom I used to have an exclusive and very satisfying relationship. I feel like, sometimes, I can't even understand who he is or why he is here when I have this new baby to deal with. And the baby? Well, I love him when we're having a peaceful cuddle, and he is gorgeous when he is asleep, but, really, when he is awake and demanding and fussy, and he still has so little interest in anyone but himself, and I am killing myself to make enough milk to feed him which he then spits some of up, I just don't enjoy parenting a tiny baby very much!

So feeling that way, and then hearing of Apecaut's loss, really knocked me for a loop when I first read it! :

Baby crying. Big boy still sleeping. Must run and quiet the little one!

--willo
willoLevin is offline  
#376 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 10:00 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I spoke with Apecaut a few days ago...there is a little angel in the birth announcement thread for Calliope. I was so afraid of a late term stillbirth (remember the Mothering article and how freaked out I was? And prior c/s raises your risk for stillbirth)...my heart just broke when I learned about Calliope's passing.

Jilian, I feel like I could have written much of your post...I'm having a hard time balancing Laia and Rowan. They both need so much, and they need "different" things. Laia needs more chance to play with other kiddos and see the world while Rowan needs peace and quiet. When Laia was little we worked so hard to make her babyhood peaceful and loving and now...well, Rowan just get's smacked around by her loving sister. The soundtrack of Rowan's babyhood is shaping up to be "toddler tantrums, the wonder years".

Basically, I feel like I'm failing them both. I'm not up for the active "fun" outgoing craziness I used to share with Laia and I can't provide the quiet restful relaxed engagement I'd like to hare with Rowan. So we watch a lot of Calliou and Big Big World and Sesame Street and Muppets and Signing Times (okay, not all in the same day, but still) and I try to convince myself that it's the thought that counts.

Sigh.

At least I'm starting to feel a bit better physically...though the last two days (with lots of walking and visits to playgrounds) has sort of maybe kind of been a bit...errrr...too much. Just don't tell DH! He was warning me not to do too much and I kept saying "I'm fine". So now he is smirking a bit.

Hang in there mamas! After all, we turned out fine, right?

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#377 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 11:26 AM
 
saratchka's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NY's Hudson Valley
Posts: 1,117
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm also finding it hard to maintain a balance, though I'm not stressing about it as much as I thought I would. Annalise is not getting out for crazy fun as much as I would like, and Rowan is having less peace and focus than I would like, but both seem to be managing fairly well. If anyone is getting the shorter end of the stick, I think it's Ro. She's so easygoing that I often find myself leaving her to coo at her mobile or baby gym for a lot longer than I intended when I set her down to interact with her sister. And she gets dragged along to some sort of toddler event more days than not, so she's spending a lot of time in the mei tai while I chase Annalise. I just hope that when she starts to move around I'm able to find a way to handle both of them safely while still getting other necessary tasks done. That's going to be tough.

I really have nothing to complain about. Ro is sleeping really well : and Annalise is behaving like pretty much any two year old. I think the initial transition is just about over.

Now it's time for Ro's two month well-baby visit. I've got to get my ducks in a row regarding her vaccination schedule before we go. I've warned my pediatrician that we're planning to vax selectively and off schedule, but their standard schedule has kids getting three shots (one of which is the Pediatrix combo) at the two month appointment. So I need to have my plan in order and be prepared to talk through anything the doc isn't completely on board with. In our area, I'm just lucky to have found a practice within an hour of home that will take patients who don't vax exactly on schedule. I also need to get Annalise's records so that I can cross check my information about her vaxes. We were with a different practice for her first year or so and she got most of her shots on schedule there. I want to make sure that we don't repeat anything with our new practice or give any series shots at the wrong time. I have to admit that I'm excited to go back and find out just how much she weighs, though. She's definitely gaining more slowly than her sister did, but I think her weight gain has been respectable. She's definitely getting rounder and more solid feeling.
saratchka is offline  
#378 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 12:11 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We do a delayed/selective vax schedule as well... basically just pediarix and prevnar, with the MMR sequence delayed till 2yrs+. We also don't do the final prevnar shot in the cycle since by 12mo they are old enough that the condition isn't life threatening and I'm comfy with the coverage provided by the 2 earlier injections. I wouldn't do polio on its own (though I have an uncle who survived polio with some muscle weakness) but it's part of the pediarix combo. Our ped actually recommends a delayed/selective schedule so it's never stressful...though they do give you a form with "what we would have done" listed on it.

I guess I'm more AP than NFL in terms of vax...but with our lifestyle I'm just not comfy with the non-vax option. So I hammer the probiotics and health supporting good stuff starting a week or two before the visit, space vax pretty far apart, and breastfeed during the shot. Finger's crossed dd2 doesn't react strongly...I hate hate hate seeing my babes in pain!

Yesterday's playground visit made me realize how much dd1 is missing right now while we all stay home... she met two kids on the playground and spoke about them ALL DAY after coming home. It was "my friend..." this and "next time with my friends..." that. And over the weekend when we had our regular sunday coffee outing with friends all Laia wanted to do was hold hands with their 4yo, and she threw a fit when we had to leave...she cried for Anna for hours. She obviously needs more peer interction and with Rowan/life in general it just isn't happening.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#379 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 01:02 PM
 
saratchka's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NY's Hudson Valley
Posts: 1,117
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wombat. It's hard to get enough social opportunities for a toddler at this stage of the game. Annalise is behaving less well at playdates than she did pre-baby. She has more trouble sharing than she used to and is less affectionate with her friends than she was in the past. I think it's because we're not doing enough playdates for her yet. But we have to ease into it. I just can't do more than three or four toddler-chasing sessions per week at this point, though I think she'd be better off with at least five classes/playdates. Before Ro came we had at least one opportunity for peer interaction most days, and often two, so this has been a big decrease for us.

I've been thinking about balance since my last post, and I'm wondering if anyone else is finding themselves feeling less bonded to one or both babes. I kinda feel like I'm not connecting with Ro as deeply as I had with Annalise at her age. For me the "love at first sight" thing just isn't very strong with my babes : so I expected some lag time, but I think the distraction of having a toddler is slowing me down even further. (Don't get me wrong, I love my baby. I just don't feel as bonded to her yet as I do to my older girl.)

But when I do have the opportunity to really focus on Ro (while Annalise naps, for example) I feel disoriented when Annalise comes back into the picture.

I feel like I'm always trying to shift gears when what I need is to find a mindset that is fully inclusive of both kids. Am I alone in this? Anyone have any thoughts or advice for finding the mom-of-two zone?
saratchka is offline  
#380 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 01:27 PM
 
rock_dr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: wild wild west
Posts: 735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
do I have this right - is pediatrix a combined DTaP, Hep-b, IPV vax?
rock_dr is offline  
#381 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 01:47 PM
 
willoLevin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston's north shore; also Oregon
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Saratchka-- I'm right there with you. No solutions, yet, obviously, but I do expect it will all get better with time. I hope that isn't wishful thinking. I just have to believe that, as all those adorable attachment-promoting behaviors blossom, I will get more attached to A.

And I also have to think that I will start to "remember" S. again like I should, too. Sometimes I really do think I've forgotten all about his existence when he's gone for a bit. I would never have believed that was possible before A. was born. I think I am/was very well bonded with my big boy!

Life is so much better when we get a chance to play and be out of the house (as long as it is a fun trip for S.!) We're having a playdate Thursday and some friends with fun/age-appropriate kids over for "whatever dinner I can manage" on Sunday. (Could be ordered pizza, but that's okay, right?)

--willo
willoLevin is offline  
#382 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 01:58 PM
 
dara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: KS by way of NJ
Posts: 1,337
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian View Post
I hope it is ok to post this. A member of our DDC lost her daughter, Apecaut's baby was born still : I had no idea until just now. Here is a link to the thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=705256 I just thought all of you might want to know
I was so sad when i heard. in the yahoo group I was in for my daughter (like a ddc on yahoo) the first baby born was still and it was so hard for all of us. I didn't know if apecaut wanted us to know or not, but I did share with wombat - I'm glad you did put up that angel in the due date thread!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
dara00 is offline  
#383 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 02:25 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My heart breaks for her. I felt guilty for even posting in her loss thread because my son is in my sig and I feel like it might be hard for her to see me with a healthy baby when she lost her angel, but I couldn't keep from posting. I needed her to know I was thinking of her. How awful. I told DH last night and he cried.

I'm glad I'm not alone with my feelings of failure when it comes to parenting more than one child. It makes me think that maybe these feelings are normal. I also worry that maybe I'm not bonded enought with Evan. When Aiden was a baby we were inseperable and completely bonded because I had nothing else to do but spend time with him. Now when I spend one-on-one time with Evan I feel like I'm cheating on Aiden.

The other day I was singing to Evan while changing him and Aiden walked by and saw and looked sad - it broke my heart. Then 2 nights ago when I was putting Aiden to bed he asked me if I could rock him in the rocker like I do with Evan : I did and it broke my heart. I don't want Aiden to feel replaced or less important but I'm afraid he does. I'm wearing myself thin trying to give everyone enough love and attention that there is nothing left for ME. <sigh> Thanks for letting me vent a bit.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#384 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 03:35 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
rock dr- yes. Pediarix is a DTaP, Hep B, Polio combo with a three shot schedule.

All- I'm sooooo relieved that other mamas are running into the same odd feelings and emotions with the shift to two munchkins. I'm sue, with more time, we'll all even out but till then it's nice to know this is normal.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#385 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 05:20 PM
 
torio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: near the mangrove estuaries
Posts: 885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can only imagine how tough it must be to parent a toddler plus a new baby. On the other hand, I know only too well what it's like to parent two infants. Obie and Linka are amazingly patient with me and each other, but there are still times when I can't get to one of them as quickly as I'd like and they're way too young to have to understand waiting and sharing. Today we had to get a tire replaced on the car. The guy on the phone said 1 hour. When I got there the other guy said 3 hours. So we wandered around with the stroller biding our time and tandem nursed in the shoe department of Sears because I knew there would be chairs there. Later we got caught in a sudden summer storm and had to duck into a restaurant to keep dry. My babes take it all in stride, but sometimes I feel the stress building up. How can I possibly be there enough for either one of them? I guess we just do our best.

I feel so sad for apecaut--prayers to her.

I requested copies of our (both twins and me) hospital records from the birth, in part because our ped wants to see them. I got a notice in the mail saying it will cost over $300 just for the records for my DS. That seems outrageous to me. I haven't called our ped's office yet, but am hoping this is some kind of stupid mix up. Have any of you ever paid for copies of medical records? My other HCPs always provided copies free.

My babes were nursing and are now sleeping on all wrapped around me on a boppy. They're way too big for it now so their legs and little bums are hanging off on the bed. I can't believe how quickly they're growing. I'm also curious to see how much more weight they've gained. They've outgrown clothing and diapers already...
torio is offline  
#386 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 05:57 PM
 
adoremybabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Torio - I don't think that records should cost anything but I can see where you'd be charged for a copy to take for yourself. Usually the nurses at your doctor's office can call the hosp. to get the records sent to them and it won't cost you. It is part of a nurses job to do such things if they are asked.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

adoremybabe is offline  
#387 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 05:58 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
That seems outrageous to me. I haven't called our ped's office yet, but am hoping this is some kind of stupid mix up. Have any of you ever paid for copies of medical records? My other HCPs always provided copies free.
Sadly, this is a common refrain in the VBAC community...hospitals and care providers agreeing to provide records but only at an insane price (usually there is a set base fee plus a per page fee). Your current care provider should be able to get copy directly, and your old care provider should be able to get a copy as well. My OBs got a copy free and then let me photocopy it at Kinkos for a lot less than the fee would have been. I haven't requested a copy of the records from this birth though.

Oh, that reminds me...some hospitals keep the "surgical" report seperate from the general patient medical records. So make sure they are sending you the whole thing. I had to request my surgical record seperately...my medical record was 30 some pages long, but the surgical record was only a page (and on that page they got the birth weight wrong, and said dd was a boy. Sigh). So if they do insist on that fee make sure it includes ALL the info you need.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#388 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 06:06 PM
 
adoremybabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
On another note YES parenting 2 is a big adjustment. I feel like I am neglecting one or the other most of my days. Last week I tried putting William down to bed (he'll be 2 on the 5th!) and he wouldn't have me. He cried for his dada and I felt so miserable. I felt incompetant to say the least.

I truely need to find places for playdates because W doesn't know how to play with kids his own size and age at all. He can be mean and selfish so he needs to learn. Now, if only I could find something close.

I am also trying to get W to go on the potty. Is it bad that I have to bribe him to even sit on his potty chair??? Today he sat on it twice for long periods of time but managed to hold everything in. He doesn't like the idea of sitting on the potty but is okay once he is there.

I amazes me that any parents find time to do something for themselves when they have children. So far I jsut keep telling myself that the present time is for my babies and I will have my time in the future....

Annalise's 2 month check is on the 6th. W was vaxed on schedule, aside from Hep B, up until he was 9 months. We want to delay A until 2 years for anything. I don't think that we are putting our children at a greater risk in doing so but.... if you don't mind me asking, what kind of lifestyle warrents getting some of the vaxes now? I do have days that I wonder if I am doing the right thing by not vaxing/delaying.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

adoremybabe is offline  
#389 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 06:07 PM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am sharing everyones sentiments with feeling pulled in too many directions with a toddler and a baby!! We were out shopping today and DS was being a major handful he wouldn't listen to me, cried and wined over everything, I completely lost it with him. I yelled at him in the car while in the parking lot at Safeway and the window was down, a lady walking by heard and gave me a horrible look, it made me feel terrible!: ! Later when we got home and he still was not listening he could see me starting to get upset and DS responded with "your driving me crazy" I guess I have said that to him one too many times. I have really found myself resenting his presence at times, sometimes I find myself wishing he would just "go away", I am feeling unable to spend any time with DD and this baby stage goes so fast that I don't want to miss it. I can't believe I am writing this, It makes me sound aweful, I too need to get it all out, I haven't been able to play and interact with DS as much as I used to and, we are both suffering for it!! With DH gone so much it makes it that much harder, I need a break, I just need a break!!!

On that note I was so sad to read apecauts story, I cried a lot last night just thinking about it. So sad for her.:

Even though I am having a very hard day, My babies are precious to me, I couldn't imagine my life without them!

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#390 of 395 Old 07-31-2007, 06:25 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Adore- In our case DH and I both work with a highly mobile international community and there are often outbreaks of vax preventable illnesses in our community...just a few years ago I caught whooping cough (I hadn't had a booster shot in far too long). I have to say coughing until you puke is especially problematic for a librarian! I'm still at higher risk for lung infections and it was a seriously unpleasant 8 week period.

On top of our general work community contact, DH works in animal bio-tech/bio-med. Although there shouldn't be any risk he does come in contact with more random nasties than many people. These nasties aren't specifically vaxed against, but some of the safety protocols assume a certain vax level.

And finally, both dh and I volunteer/work with migrant laborers and homeless populations that are not generally in the best health. And sadly many members of these communities wont seek medical assistance even when it's available. Our older dd comes with us, and our younger dd will too when she is a bit bigger...

I certainly don't think vax are necessary for all people (or at least that all vax are necessary for all people), and I know there are potential negatives to vax use...for our family at least the pros outweigh the cons. But we do delay some vax till after two, and we don't do some vax at all... I think it's one of those things that really depends on your family/lifestyle.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off