June '07 Moms *July Thread* - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#181 of 395 Old 07-11-2007, 08:36 PM
 
brittneyscott's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh aren't toddlers fun? DD has been throwing tantrums lately too. And if you make her mad she calls you 'stupid' or says 'you're mean'. Fun, fun! I tell her that it's not nice but I doubt she cares. She's really adjusted better than I thought she would though. Its rough but not as bad as I expected.

My house is a disaster though and so activities for DD are hard to do with all the commotion in the house. Its hard to organize something to entertain her when my house isn't organized. I'm going to try to get some energy and try to clean things up around nursing sessions. I think if I can get the house in order I'll be able to set up some activities for her and things will improve around here. I hope so anyways.

DH is going to go Monday to apply for some jobs. I hope he gets a new one soon. This stress with his work is really getting to me. I go back to work this weekend though to help with the bills. I hate that I have to do it. I'm afraid that working like that again is going to drain what energy I do have. Oh well my babies have to be fed! I just hope he can get a better job soon.

beatee- Some people don't understand having kids even if they do have them so don't feel bad. I have some friends, with kids, that are always asking about doing things and I tell them I can't. They don't understand why I won't leave my kids with just anybody or why I won't get a babysitter and go out all the time. Some people never grow up. Enjoy your baby and don't worry about it. Trust me you aren't missing out on anything good. Going out is never the same once you have kids. I really enjoy being home much more than going out now. When I'm out I just want to get back home!
brittneyscott is offline  
#182 of 395 Old 07-11-2007, 08:42 PM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=brittneyscott;8613178]
beatee- Some people don't understand having kids even if they do have them QUOTE]

Sad, but it's true!!

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#183 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 12:41 AM
 
momtokay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sorry to hear about all the tantruming toddlers. my other two are a bit older and mosty they are just completely enamored with lucy. i suspect when she gets mobile and starts getting into their stuff that might change, but for now i'm just enjoying having all the extra help.

lucy is doing pretty well. she's in her 3-week growth spurt. she was 8lb 13oz at her appt yesterday, which was a four oz gain in a week. her ped was happy with that. it's funny to me to even have to think twice about a kid of mine gaining enough. my middle dd put on a pound a week or so for a while. i'm starting to wonder if lucy is going to gain faster here soon or if she's just destined to be less of a chubby bf baby?!? i guess only time will tell.

she's sleeping now so i should be too. i just wanted to drop in while i had two hands free and see how everyone else is doing.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
momtokay is offline  
#184 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 01:10 AM
 
savvybabygrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
So I used a mirror to take a look at my tear for the first time. I wish I had a picture of my nether bits pre-tear because I'm just not sure how everything is supposed to look...I mean, I'd looked at them before, and it's pretty obvious where the repair is, but I just don't remember exact details, you know? And I can't find any images online of healed 4th degree tears or what the repair should look like. I have a big raised ridge of suturing running from the vag opening to the anus (sorry TMI) and I don't know if this ridge is my "new normal"? Or will it smooth out? There were no skin sutures so there's a crease where the two sides were sutured together...will this crease smooth out? Or is it a "problem" to have this crease? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
I recently used a mirror to take my first look, and was shocked to see what it really looks like!! I tore up, and (so sorry, TMI!!) my labia is just hanging...it tore off right from the clit hood. No wonder it hurt so badly to pee for so long! The other labia has a hole, looks like it was tearing but didn't actually finish tearing. Oh, it scared the crap out of me!

I have no clue if we'll ever look "normal" again, but I kind of like having the reminder of pushing Savannah out. Like my stretch marks, the tears have become my badge of birthing my babes.

Kier: wife to Jared, mama to Emma ('05), Savannah ('07), and our newest little love Reid (June 30, '09) -intact because of all of YOU! I had an ecstatic birth, at home in the water!
savvybabygrace is offline  
#185 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 06:09 AM
 
willoLevin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston's north shore; also Oregon
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by savvybabygrace View Post
I recently used a mirror to take my first look, and was shocked to see what it really looks like!! ...I have no clue if we'll ever look "normal" again...
I have to admit--I haven't looked since I had my first son, and I don't plan ever to look again! I decided I was better off not looking. Either nothing much has changed, which is fine, or I will get paranoid about any "problems", and that would be a negative for me in terms of our "marital life".

I'm enough prone to paranoia, I figured I should leave well enough alone and keep the mirror for fixing my hair.

I know the area never stopped feeling somewhat different than before I had kids, so I figure it has changed somewhat, but DH and I have the "don't ask, don't tell" thing going on with regards to my body 'cuz I'm so easily hung-up on stuff.

--willo
willoLevin is offline  
#186 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 10:29 AM
 
adoremybabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel so disconnected from DH since Annie was born....almost 6 weeks ago. Having 2 kiddos has really seperated us from eachother. What does everyone do to keep the sparks going. I realize that it is naturally hard during the first bit of a baby's life but I think that DH and I need to make real effort here.

I know one logical way to keep the spark is to be intimate. We tried that and found out that my body isn't ready. My incision tore open a bit and I hurt big time for the rest of the day and **** have some pains.

I have toyed with the idea of a date night but we'd have to bring Annie along. Will could stay with someone while we are gone. Even though we'd have a child with us, will we still be able to connect?

Right now I feel like DH and I are so into getting our own things done everyday until bedtime and then we go our seperate ways once again to get the kids ready for bed and by the time that happens we are falling asleep ourselves.


Celia

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

adoremybabe is offline  
#187 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 11:06 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Adoremybaby- How about being intimate and sensual without the physical stuff your body isn't ready for? Shoulder rubs, back rubs, a foot rub...sensual touch, hugging, spooning, kissing, etc. Just sort of pretend you and your partner are still dating and find non-ouchie ways to enjoy each other. And one plus is that many of these things can be done with the kiddos around or in public, and they don't need a lot of time...so you can add little touches here and there even if you don't have time for a big long cuddle session.

Last time I wasn't really comfy with more penetrative stuff till 3-4 months pp and this time I've been told to wait closer to 6 MONTHS before trying that sort of intimate act soooo...DH and I rely on the more sensual end of the spectrum, and enjoy each other without those particular acts for now.

Also, little date nights can be fun if you can find someone you are comfortable with to watch the little ones. If you have someone for the older kiddo you can sling the babe and go to a movie together, or out for an early dinner. Another option is to have a date night at home...find someone to watch both kiddos in one part of the house while you and dh have some time together in another part of the house or in the yard (a picnic, candle light dinner, popcorn while watching a video, mildly alcoholic drinks while relaxing/talking, whatever sounds fun!).

For two years DH lived in Boston while I lived in NYC (I was in grad school at Columbia while he was working in a lab at MIT). I lived in a very sketchy building (no phone lines, no sprinklers, really REALLY odd people...google the St George Hotel in Brooklyn) and only made it back to Boston once a month at best. It was hard. And hard to stay connected with dh. So we came up with a few funny thing...one was the love journal.

We had notebooks and we'd write all sorts of little things in them...maybe just a sentence or two, or a quote, or something our partner did that was really sweet or that made us feel good, or whatever. Just little love notes from one of us to the other. The fun part was that after you wrote a note you'd hide the journal some place your partner would find it. Then it was their turn to write something for you and hide it for you to find. It was a lot of fun and helped us stay connected (we still do this).

My favorite "hide" was when I mailed one of the journals to his lab boss and had them hide it for me in his bench (it was more elaborate since I had taken the bus into Boston and I was waiting for him after work as a surprise). And he did something similar when he sent a journal to the diner I often visited so it came with my meal one night.

It can be hard to stay close to a partner during a baby's early days...the Sears Baby book has a few sections on it, and a chapter for fathers/partners to help them understand what is going on...

hope you find a way to renew, connect, and have fun!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#188 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 11:21 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Different topic...Willo and Savvy I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I was actually looking since I've heard so many horror stories about this type of tear in the past few days I felt like I HAD to look to see if I could see anything obviously wrong. But of course I don't really know what "wrong" would look like! Nothing like being a worry wort.

DH said he'd take a look if I wanted (since he saw the repair right after it was done and could maybe judge how it's healing. But I'll probably just wait till my appointment on the 19th. Maybe it's a positive sign of healing that I'm getting antsy? I have another week or two before the sutures release their strength and a few weeks after that to dissolve...so until then I wont know exactly how well things are holding.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#189 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 11:48 AM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by vannienicole View Post
where can i find it?
Most health food stores have it. It is in a weird plastic squirt type bottle so it may be hard to find. I was looking for a tincture bottle so it took me forever to see it. The one I bought had the letters "GSE" on the front and then grapefruit seed extract in smaller letters.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#190 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 11:53 AM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wombat I love the journal idea, do you mind if I steal it? DH and I hide really random things for eachother to find, more for the comedy of it, but I really like this journal idea:

Ok, I am super irritated right now, I had somewhat of a gush of red blood this morning, enough to soak the pantiliner I was wearing.: I am sure I am doing too much, and not getting enough rest. But DH is out of town, for the second time since Jolie was born, I have a very active and needy 2 year old, and I simply don't have the ability to lay down and rest. My house is a serious disaster, and the laundry pile is reminding me of the trash heap from Fraggle Rock, (any fans out there?) I expect it to come to life and start singing to me anyday now So I am wondering if I should let ds sit in front of the tv for the next two days while I "rest", or just ignore it as my life must go on. I don't want to call my MW for fear of a lecture, I just wish I would heal up, maybe I should call my MW, I dunno, we'll see. On the other hand I have been super blessed with my DD, she so complacent and lovely, ds was definately a lot more work at her age, I am so glad too because ds (as wonderful as he is) is really quite the handful, always has been, but especially lately. Love him dearly non the less, motherhood is not for wimps! Right?

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#191 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 12:50 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
herbmama- go for it! We give journals (and instructions) as wedding gifts all the time.

I feel lucky too that Rowan is so laid back...but I wonder if I would have thought she was laid back two years ago? I mean, compared to a toddler she's a dram! But if she was my first/only maybe I'd feel she was "high needs"? I wonder...

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#192 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 01:43 PM
 
herbmama3-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Boulder Co.
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
herbmama- go for it! We give journals (and instructions) as wedding gifts all the time.

I feel lucky too that Rowan is so laid back...but I wonder if I would have thought she was laid back two years ago? I mean, compared to a toddler she's a dram! But if she was my first/only maybe I'd feel she was "high needs"? I wonder...

I have often wonered the same thing, I think going from zero to one is tough no matter what, but going from 1 to 2 isn't too bad. I rememer asking a friend of mine who has three kids how she does it when my ds was born, and she said, "it's simple, you're already doing it."

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
herbmama3-7 is offline  
#193 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 03:45 PM
 
dara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: KS by way of NJ
Posts: 1,337
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yes I had this discussion with someone today, the transition has been easier even though there's more to be done, because with dd I had no clue what I was doing plus she was more fussy / high needs, but who knows if she was that way BECAUSE I didn't know what i was doing!

yes, I love fraggle rock!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
dara00 is offline  
#194 of 395 Old 07-12-2007, 06:01 PM
 
saratchka's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NY's Hudson Valley
Posts: 1,112
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yup, caring for Ro is a dream compared to Annalise as a newborn, but I don't know how much is temperament, how much is us knowing what we're doing, and how much is just having a toddler to compare the newborn to!
saratchka is offline  
#195 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:41 AM
 
brittneyscott's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Funny how everyone adjusts to parenthood so differently... Going from none to one didn't phase me but 1 to 2 .. oy! I guess because with one I could really sleep when she slept and just focus on the baby and her needs. Now with the 2nd I have a toddler to chase and so much going on that I can't seem to get ahead of the game. Oh well in a few weeks we'll be out of the newborn phase and it'll get better. At least I have "good" kids. DS is awake all the time nursing but he's a sweet baby. DD is of course rowdy and active but overall she's a sweet, easygoing toddler. Oh well we all have our own ways of looking at things I guess.
brittneyscott is offline  
#196 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 08:43 AM
 
willoLevin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston's north shore; also Oregon
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel about ready to run away from home and both kids this morning, but that's because DH had an out-of-town lecture to give today, and he slept at his parents' house last night so he could get enough rest to safely drive several hours each way today. I understand that there are people who raise children on their own, but, frankly, I don't know how they do it. Even having Mom here to take the boys downstairs when she got up around 7 am has barely made me feel back in control of myself and motherhood. I think I got about three hours of sleep. I feel awful.

Who would have thought I'd be thinking longingly of a night where I nurse and pump?

Am I a completely selfish person because DH usually helps me with the baby during the night, even though he works and I stay home? Because, honestly, I don't think I could do it without help at this stage. Even last night, when I skipped pumping after each feeding, I could barely handle the diaper changes and necessary bottle supplementing by myself. When he started to cry after I'd just fed him, changed him, bottle-fed him, and then gone to the bathroom for myself--well, I wanted to murder him, or at least just leave him and run!

DH says people say to him all the time, "You're getting up at night? Shouldn't your wife be doing that?"

Are these old people who've forgotten, or am I really THAT BAD at this?

Never mind. I completely accept that I am awful at this stage of parenting. I am too low energy already. I am a very easily frustrated/upset person, and I let my stress get to me and I snap at the baby or my preschooler. I don't handle our feeding issues with grace or aplomb.

I think I do well with my big boy, generally, but I really hate this phase. It is too hard and with too few rewards yet. (Although A. did LAUGH yesterday. That was really, REALLY cute.)

Cranky, sleep-deprived, grumpy,
--willo
willoLevin is offline  
#197 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 11:50 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Willo- dh does a lot of the nightime parenting. Actually, he...ummm...he really really likes to cook and I don't so...well, he works in the lab all day and then comes home and makes dinner.

But in terms of kiddo care, he takes dd1 up for her bath and helps her put her jammies on. And while I brush her teeth and nurse her, he takes her to bed and reads stories till she falls asleep. I get dd2 ready for bed, but until a few nights ago he was doing all the night dipe changes for Rowan, and when she cries we take turns trying to soothe her (I don't know if it was something I ate but Rowan screamed for over an hour yesterday evening and cried off and on all night...I am seriously cranky today).

I usually work part time, but being home on maternity leave I sort of know the feeling of being "in charge" of house/home/kids 24/7. I've been reminding myself that the house/kids is my "job" right now in the same way that being at the library is my "job". And that there is no reason to feel like I should be the only active parent round the clock...after all, I wasn't on call for the library patrons 24/7.

I'm not explaining it well but...when someone says "wow, you help your wife with the kids at night?" the implication is that the wife doesn't "work" so she should be doing the night baby care to save the husband the effort. But the wife DOES work, and during the hours when there are two parents then both paents should be sharing equally.

Sigh...I can tell I'm going to have to work on my communicative skills before going back to work!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#198 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 01:03 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
I'm not explaining it well but...when someone says "wow, you help your wife with the kids at night?" the implication is that the wife doesn't "work" so she should be doing the night baby care to save the husband the effort. But the wife DOES work, and during the hours when there are two parents then both paents should be sharing equally.
I agree! I try not to ask DH to help out too much at night but when DS is fussy and cannot get back to sleep I wake DH and hand him off. The only reason I try to let DH is sleep is because he gets up really early in the morning with DS1 so DS2 and I can sleep in a bit. If I were pumping AND feeding I would certainly wake DH - no questions asked. It makes me mad when people make comments like that, the children are BOTH parents responsibility!

Evan had another pedi appt today and he's up to 8 lbs 2.5 ozs! So he's gained almost 2 lbs since birth 5 weeks ago. That is great because he lost weight after surgery. I'm proud of him

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#199 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 02:14 PM
 
AdInAZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 695
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Jilian! That is great about Evan's progress. I'm so happy for you.

Willo! I feel for you. I do not do well with a lack of sleep. I "need" 9 hours uninterrupted to feel good. I don't think I've had that since before kids over 5 years ago. My daughter would wake up 2 times a night until close to age 2. I remember thinking I was going crazy from lack of sleep. Sean goes "to bed" at 9 pm and then proceeds to wake at midnight, 1:30, 3, 4:30, and 6-ish, which is when Maggie wakes up. Ack! One time he only woke at 2 and 6 and I felt like I was in heaven. Now if only I could get him to duplicate that...
Oh...and no. My dh does NO nighttime parenting. I've tried to get him to help out. Going so far as to lay the screaming baby on top of him and asking him to change his dipe so I can get 5 minutes of sleep. But he just falls back asleep and I can't stand to hear my little one cry, so its up to me. Dh helps out with baths and other stuff, but I'm all alone at night.

Mom to :, , and :
AdInAZ is offline  
#200 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 02:28 PM
 
momtokay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian View Post
I agree! . . . It makes me mad when people make comments like that, the children are BOTH parents responsibility!

Evan had another pedi appt today and he's up to 8 lbs 2.5 ozs! So he's gained almost 2 lbs since birth 5 weeks ago. That is great because he lost weight after surgery. I'm proud of him
Wow!! Way to grow Evan!!! Does he feel like a giant to you now?!? Lucy is up almost a pound over her birthweight and I swear she feels heavier.

DH does the middle of the night diaper changes. He can get up, change her, hand her to me, and be back asleep before I have her latched on to nurse. If I change her it wakes me up too much and I'll be awake for hours and then be a bad parent to all three kids the next day. As soon as Lucy stops pooping at night he'll be done with the middle of the night parenting of Lucy except if there is a night sometime where I need to hand a really crabby baby off to him. He's actually the one who gets up with our big girls on the rare occasions when they get up in the night, for the same reason. He can get up, take care of them and go right back to sleep. When my feet hit the ground I'm pretty much done sleeping for the night. When he's home from work before bedtime, we also share in getting the big girls ready at night. He almost always reads their story when he's here. That is their Daddy time and they all look forward to it. BTW, I don't think anyone is a bad parent for doing what works best in their family. You have to take care of your needs too or you can't be a good mother.

Well I survived my first day on my own with the three girls. DH went back to work last Friday, but my mom didn't leave town until yesterday. It was actually a good day and I hope the first of a long string of good days.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
momtokay is offline  
#201 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 02:51 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I don't think anyone is a bad parent for doing what works best in their family.
I 100% agree...and I love how often the Drs Sears stress that. I think it sometimes gets "lost" in the stress of modern parenting, but that balance is crucial.

And I think that since there are so many women here at mdc coming from so many different situations it can get even more stressful when people maybe forget that what works for them may not be nurturing or even possible for someone else.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#202 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:13 PM
 
torio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: near the mangrove estuaries
Posts: 885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally agree that parenting at home all day is also work. That said, since I'm on a long parental leave and DH had to go back to work after 3 weeks I do most of the nighttime parenting on week days. DH has done almost all of the cooking for months and month. Even though I love to cook I was SO tired toward end of pregnancy and now with twins....hey, I did make a salad one night and cut up fresh fruit with creme on another. Willo, you aren't bad at this. It's just incredibly exhausting to wake up constantly night after night. I drag myself up to change diapers at night reminding myself that they might sleep better with dry bottoms. If I had to pump too I think I would collapse w/o help.

It's interesting to hear so many of you talk about differences between DC1 and 2. Since I went from zero to 2 I'm noticing the differences even though no time has passed nor concurrent growth in parenting skills occurred. Each time I think I've got these two figured out they change subtly and in unexpected ways. What a mystery! Even w/ the lack of sleep it's so amazing to spend time with these new little people.
torio is offline  
#203 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:25 PM
 
dara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: KS by way of NJ
Posts: 1,337
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't change diapers at night! unless there's a poop explosion or something. last weekend my dh took zachary in the mornings, he is cranky then and I needed the extra sleep. but on weekdays dh does nothing over night! and Zachary wakes up so often that I don't even keep track of it.

speaking of which the doctor yesterday asked me how often he nurses and I said about every 2 hours but whenever he's hungry. so the dr. was like ok every 2-3 hours? but actually it's more like every 5 min-2 hours! do they all eat so often? zachary weighs 9lbs 11 oz now. he was born at 6.7. My dd was born at 7.13 and weighed 9.7 at her 1 month check up!

Dara Mommy to Gabbie (4/05) , Zachary (6/07) , and Simon (8/10)
dara00 is offline  
#204 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:32 PM
 
momtokay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dara00 View Post
speaking of which the doctor yesterday asked me how often he nurses and I said about every 2 hours but whenever he's hungry. so the dr. was like ok every 2-3 hours? but actually it's more like every 5 min-2 hours! do they all eat so often? zachary weighs 9lbs 11 oz now. he was born at 6.7. My dd was born at 7.13 and weighed 9.7 at her 1 month check up!
lucy is really erratic with her eating patterns. she generally has about a 3-5 hour stretch during the day/evening where she eats pretty much constantly, maybe taking a 15 minute break or two, but then she generally does have a three+ hour stretch without eating another time of the day (hopefully at night). she was 7.15 at birth, 8.3 at 5 days old, and is 8.13 at three weeks old.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
momtokay is offline  
#205 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:37 PM
 
vannienicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
**
vannienicole is offline  
#206 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:53 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


The way dh puts it is "you can look at the menu all you like, you just can't eat at the restaurant"

Yay for all of us and our amazing growing babes. Have you all seen the superhero breastfeeding stuff? I really want the shirt that says "I make breastmilk. What's you're superpower?"

Vanessa- let me know how the OM stuff is...we're thinking along those lines for dd1, especially once I'm back at work.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#207 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
PatchChild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
willo, I'm right with you. How people can single parents and stay sane, especially with an infant, is beyond me. I've never said thank you to my dh as often as I have since Owen was born.

I'm so spoiled by having a fantastic dh. He takes are of all the nighttime diaper changing, as the rocking to sleep when Owen doesn't just fall asleep on the breast. If he falls asleep on me, great. When he doesn't, he won't let me rock him to sleep. I think I smell too much like mommy milk. He just roots right back into my breast, but really isn't interested in eating. He's perfectly happy to let dh rock him to sleep though. Go figure.

Jilian, I'm so glad to hear about your ds. Grow baby grow!!

Owen is starting to get more used to his hearing aids. He is no longer completely overloaded by the end of the day and basically has them in all the time that he's awake, as well as most of the time that he's napping in a sling. It's still a pain because they can't be covered up by anything, including fabric, or they make a terrible feedback noise that makes Owen cry. The challenge now is that he's already outgrowing his first pair of ear molds so they're loose and more likely to fall out. Time to get the next set made, I guess.

Can anyone tell me how I'm supposed to keep a hat on him with the hearing aids in. Any suggestions?
PatchChild is offline  
#208 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 04:33 PM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Vanessa: That is great that the pain is going away. I'm proud of you for sticking with it. BF is SO HARD for the first few weeks and I can honestly see why so many women give up in those first few weeks. Support is crucial.

My DS is also a night time cluster feeder. From about 6 pm - 10 pm he is nursing constantly. It makes my nips sore but it makes him sleep better at night. I'd rather him cluster feed before bed then to cluster feed at 3 am. But I am looking forward to the time when he nurses a little less frequently. He's doing a lot of comfort nursing and I'm really trying to limit the paci because he's still having latch issues (mainly when he's tired). But sometimes I am so sore that I need him to take the paci.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#209 of 395 Old 07-13-2007, 05:01 PM
 
txbikegrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 730
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by willoLevin View Post
Who would have thought I'd be thinking longingly of a night where I nurse and pump?

Am I a completely selfish person because DH usually helps me with the baby during the night, even though he works and I stay home? Because, honestly, I don't think I could do it without help at this stage. Even last night, when I skipped pumping after each feeding, I could barely handle the diaper changes and necessary bottle supplementing by myself. When he started to cry after I'd just fed him, changed him, bottle-fed him, and then gone to the bathroom for myself--well, I wanted to murder him, or at least just leave him and run!

DH says people say to him all the time, "You're getting up at night? Shouldn't your wife be doing that?"

Are these old people who've forgotten, or am I really THAT BAD at this?

Never mind. I completely accept that I am awful at this stage of parenting. I am too low energy already. I am a very easily frustrated/upset person, and I let my stress get to me and I snap at the baby or my preschooler. I don't handle our feeding issues with grace or aplomb.

Cranky, sleep-deprived, grumpy,
--willo
Well, then I'm a bad momma too b/c I've gotten a LOT of help from DH. Wait, I'm worse -- we only have one!

We had bf issues here too...
txbikegrrl is offline  
#210 of 395 Old 07-14-2007, 09:26 AM
 
Keeping up's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 668
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought about waking up dh last night - babe grunted, groaned and wimpered from 2am thru to 5am. Sometimes, I wish dh would wake up and just take the baby away. I am one of those people that doesn't let dh do anything nightime with the newborn ... don't know why! He does get up with the 18 month old who typically gets up every night around 2am. I think I am so much better adjusted to being severly sleep deprived with a mass of young kiddos. I doubt I have slept more than 5 hour consectively in ore than three years. Funny ... I had no issues getting up with the 'older' babe each night when I was working full time. I do have to rethink my sleep - we are all in bed so that helps as I can typically get the babe right back to sleep after a feeding (with babe on my chest - not great sleep but not awake with a crying baby either).

We went to the midwife on Wednesday ... Sean weighs 10lbs, up from 7lbs. 13 oz. at birth. I thought that was 'amazing' but that is just on his curve. Who knew a 25% weight gain in one month is average! Otherwise, he is doing OK - has a case of baby laryngitis or something as he makes the motions of crying but with little noise. He is getting a bit noisier in the past two days ... so I can't leave him too far from me because I won't hear him. Midwife said not too worry (too much) because he is obviously otherwise fine -gaining weight, no fever etc..

Alright - my long post for the day.

HOpe everyone slept as well as can be expected last night.
Keeping up is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off