My pediatrician is crazy, right? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, we've been going to this pediatrician because she hasn't bugged us to vax. But at the last visit she said a few things that rubbed me the wrong way:

1. We should let DD CIO. That's not going to happen.
2. DD should be eating three square meals a day with a fruit, veg, meat and grain. She's 10 mos. old and still mostly BFing. I thought that was healthiest, no? She does eat some fruit and veg during the day, 4-6 oz at most.
3. If DD eats more, she will self wean at 12 months. Huh?
4. If DD eats more, she will not be constipated. We do have to give her prunes once in awhile. But I thought breastmilk was a laxative.

Anyway, the visit ended with: See you at 12 months for your shots. Urgh.
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#2 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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LOL, yeah crazy & heavily inculturated into the American baby tradition.

You have three options:
1. argue with her
2. Smile and nod and do what you know is best
3. Change pediatricians

in any case it's probably a good idea not to ask this woman questions and expect useful answers, IYKWIM.

~laura
and planning to eat it again
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#3 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 07:35 PM
 
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Yup, crazy...but in my experience - most are!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#4 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 07:35 PM
 
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Yep, she is crazy. Ds was mostly breastfed until a year and then still more after that. He is healthy, happy, and fine. Find a new dr! (if you can).
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#5 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 08:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am changing although I don't think there are many good options out there. I just nod and and smile.
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#6 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
You have three options:
1. argue with her
2. Smile and nod and do what you know is best
3. Change pediatricians
Personally, I like and have chosen option 2. We like our ped, but he has made some suggestions I don't agree with. That's OK. But I like that he knows our baby (and his older sister) so that if there were an actual medical issue, I would be comfortable b/c we already know each other fairly well.

But, yours sounds a bit on the extreme side of mainstream, so... maybe choose another?

Doing my best every day with DH , DD (11) , and DS (4)

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#7 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 09:16 PM
 
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I do #2 mostly too. Sometimes I try to explain, depends on what kind of mood I'm in and what kind of mood the doc is in. I do lots of smiling and nodding.
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#8 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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yep crazy. if it's not worth it to you to find another one - just ignore her and do what you think is best.

April thankful mommy to my boys Big Red 3/06 Little Z 9/08 and happily awaiting the arrival of 10/10 :
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#9 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 10:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by granolalight View Post
Personally, I like and have chosen option 2. We like our ped, but he has made some suggestions I don't agree with. That's OK. But I like that he knows our baby (and his older sister) so that if there were an actual medical issue, I would be comfortable b/c we already know each other fairly well.
:

And I can't really imagine any 10 month old on three square meals a day. We have close family friends who are trying it with their daughter, but she just isn't interested; now they spend all their time worried that she isn't getting enough nutrition and saying it was easier before "she started to wean." ???

Go with your gut.

lemurmommies, loving wife to ruvalokiteshvara, proud moms to our intact son E (12/06), and mourning the loss of our daughter Noelle (stillborn 12/08).
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#10 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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I too am big on the smile and nod method. I like my pedi and I take many of his suggestions with a grain of salt.
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#11 of 31 Old 07-21-2007, 11:35 PM
 
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I just smiled and nodded at DS's 9 month check up this week. She said "keep feeding him the jarred baby food, esp. the green veggies and rice cereal for iron" yeah right! I'm non-confrontational so I didn't want to deal with it

DS is 4!
DD 8/10/10!
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#12 of 31 Old 07-22-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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yeah, wow.


this is why my boy doesn't see a pediatrician,
regularly..

even if i could find one that was okay with my stance on vaccinations, i wouldn't take my son to see him every few months (or whatever it is)

too much money for what gets done

basically, we go in
the doctor picks up ds
looks into his ears
looks into his mouth
weighs him
measures him
then....
he'll say,
"you really need to start him solids blah blahblabhalhaldjkfosg"
(he's four months old!!!!!!!)
then....
we stand there...

all that for 100 or so bones.

yeah,
no thanks.




keep on doing what feels right to you, momma
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#13 of 31 Old 07-22-2007, 09:35 AM
 
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I think that it really depends on your personality. I am not very confrontational and I can smile and nod about most things, but there are some things that I need to draw the line on. I don't expect to ever agree with a pediatrician about everything, but I do expect to be respected and treated like an educated adult who is making the best choices for my baby. I did have to change pediatricians when ours tried to bully me about vaxxing and newborn procedures and treated me like I was out to harm my baby. I think you just have to decide where that line is for you and what you can live with.
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#14 of 31 Old 07-22-2007, 10:13 AM
 
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If my doc suggests something that I don't agree with I usually tell her what I have been doing and that it is working ok with me.
Really though my doc is pretty easy going and dosn't usually tell me how to raise my children. That is the way I prefer it to be.

Busy Mom raising 5 kiddos, 7, 6, 5, 2  and a brand new bundle!! (5/15/11)  cd.gifribbonpb.gifnovaxnoIRC.gif

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#15 of 31 Old 07-22-2007, 10:30 AM
 
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I love my dc's pedi! I actually worked at the clinic when I was 19 in the medical records dept so I remembered dealing with him, then when I was at my part time job at TRU I saw him come in with his dc and he was so patient with them so when I became preg with dd in '98 I just knew I wanted him for my pedi! Anyways we did everything according to "schedule" with our first 2 dc but when ds#1 was dx pdd/nos at the age of 33m my whole world came to a stop in re to vax's. Our now almost 3yr old ds and the new baby have never had any vax's and our older 2 dc we stopped at age 5and 3 . My pedi is on board with what we decide... he always says he's the pedi so he needs to say his "dr stuff" but in the end we're their parents! We both respect each others opinion even if/when we differ and he and the nurses never try to "push" anything on us.

Maaaammaa!! to A 2/99 M 7/00 J 10/04 B 4/07 S 3/09
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#16 of 31 Old 07-22-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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yes, she's crazy. Keep doing what you're doing but find a new ped, if you even need one.
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#17 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 01:33 AM
 
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yeah sounds crazy but probly much better than some peds, especially since she doesn't argue about not vaxing

::
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#18 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 02:46 AM
 
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I'd change doctors.
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#19 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 08:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmotion View Post
too much money for what gets done

basically, we go in
the doctor picks up ds
looks into his ears
looks into his mouth
weighs him
measures him
then....
he'll say,
"you really need to start him solids blah blahblabhalhaldjkfosg"
(he's four months old!!!!!!!)
then....
we stand there...

all that for 100 or so bones.

yeah,
no thanks.
Yeah, really.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#20 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 09:30 AM
 
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Uggh, she was in disguise! I have given this advice before, and probably will again, but we don't even see a ped. We see a family doctor. He treats all of us, knows us well, and respects our wishes. He's pretty progressive for the area, I might even describe him as young & hip...

So, it is an option. Remember, unless you dc has a particular need that requires a specialist (the ped) you can just go to your family doctor. Or, interview to find one you like. Try the Tribal areas for suggestions!

We love our family doc, he never pressures for shots (we're delaying & selectively vaxing), starting solids, looks twice at DS's intact penis, or ending/modifying our bfing relationship. His own wife bf their ds to 4 and dd to 2.5. That's enough for me!
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#21 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 10:04 AM
 
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Yep, I'd agree on the "crazy" assessment. You could do what I've done: Smile, nod, and just live your life after you leave the office.

Kinda weird that she said she'd see you for shots at the 12 month visit, though, if she hadn't been pressuring you for vax previously ...
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#22 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 12:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jemar View Post
Well, we've been going to this pediatrician because she hasn't bugged us to vax. But at the last visit she said a few things that rubbed me the wrong way:

1. We should let DD CIO. That's not going to happen.
2. DD should be eating three square meals a day with a fruit, veg, meat and grain. She's 10 mos. old and still mostly BFing. I thought that was healthiest, no? She does eat some fruit and veg during the day, 4-6 oz at most.
3. If DD eats more, she will self wean at 12 months. Huh?
4. If DD eats more, she will not be constipated. We do have to give her prunes once in awhile. But I thought breastmilk was a laxative.

Anyway, the visit ended with: See you at 12 months for your shots. Urgh.
get a new ped, or just decide to ignore her..her views don't coincide with yours. i would get a new one. mine says NOTHING about anything unless i ask.
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#23 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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Cray ped, most definitely. I'm on my 4th pediatrician tho and know now that I need to pick my battles. Nod and smile works, him and her (2 in a practice) don't make me sign a stupid waiver for the vaccine issue everytime I go there and they let me make decisions and actually listen to my concerns. That's all I need...
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#24 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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def crazy. i subscribe to smile and nod, altho i feel bad for other kids there that dont have a researcher for a mom and believe the party line...
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#25 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 02:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmotion View Post
yeah, wow.


this is why my boy doesn't see a pediatrician,
regularly..

even if i could find one that was okay with my stance on vaccinations, i wouldn't take my son to see him every few months (or whatever it is)

too much money for what gets done

basically, we go in
the doctor picks up ds
looks into his ears
looks into his mouth
weighs him
measures him
then....
he'll say,
"you really need to start him solids blah blahblabhalhaldjkfosg"
(he's four months old!!!!!!!)
then....
we stand there...

all that for 100 or so bones.

yeah,
no thanks.




keep on doing what feels right to you, momma
word. i stopped going to the ped every two months. right now i am going every 4 mo. and thats mainly so the ped recognizes us and we know him in case ds was really sick...i see no reason to go every 2 months for the above described...even though my medical makes it free right now, it just seems like a waste...if u aren't getting vaxed, i see no reason to go to the doc unless you are sick.
and if you do decide you want to go, which of course is fine...i would personally not argue with the ped, i'd just go mmmmhmmm and smile...she doesn't live with you, she doesn't need to know the details...
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#26 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jemar View Post
Well, we've been going to this pediatrician because she hasn't bugged us to vax. But at the last visit she said a few things that rubbed me the wrong way:

1. We should let DD CIO. That's not going to happen.
2. DD should be eating three square meals a day with a fruit, veg, meat and grain. She's 10 mos. old and still mostly BFing. I thought that was healthiest, no? She does eat some fruit and veg during the day, 4-6 oz at most.
3. If DD eats more, she will self wean at 12 months. Huh?
4. If DD eats more, she will not be constipated. We do have to give her prunes once in awhile. But I thought breastmilk was a laxative.

Anyway, the visit ended with: See you at 12 months for your shots. Urgh.
It isn't all totally off base. This is what most people do, so it makes sense that she would say it to you.

I had a pediatrition that would say "I SHOULD tell you to let her cry herself to sleep and never rock her to sleep" (I told him I rock her to sleep) "But, my wife would kill me."

He said that about A LOT of things. He was basically telling me that Mom knows best.

Number four actually does work. But, it isn't very important either. If she isn't interested in your food, why push it?

I say smile, nod and go home to what works for YOU.
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#27 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 02:27 PM
 
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I did a combo...switched Dr.'s to find one cool with delayed/non-vaxing. And, I just nod and smile when she gives her opinions on certain topics.

I mean, I guess I'm sensitive to the word "crazy." Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you don't agree with it, you can choose to move on. Or, you can defend your beliefs. I don't care if someone's a Dr., a baker or a garbage man. They can express their views on something and then I can respond.
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#28 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Synchro246 View Post
LOL, yeah crazy & heavily inculturated into the American baby tradition.

You have three options:
1. argue with her
2. Smile and nod and do what you know is best
3. Change pediatricians

in any case it's probably a good idea not to ask this woman questions and expect useful answers, IYKWIM.
:
We just smile and nod at some things. I'm very happy overall with our pediatricians office. Some of the doctors give advice we disagree with that's more mainstream. None of them have been pushy or combative so we have chosen to find another office. If you want a doctor that can give you more advice/support when it comes to parenting choices then I would suggest looking for another doctor.

-Pam
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#29 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 03:44 PM
 
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Most physicians don't have a working knowledge of the normal course of breastfeeding. I think a very very small percentage has ever actually experienced it personally. It's also possible that there is an unrealistic expectation for a child's portion -- a "meal" would be more like a couple of tablespoons at that age than an entire jar of babyfood. (Which is not a necessary food for an infant -- just illustrating where the portion confusion can come from.)

What is your child's constipation like?
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#30 of 31 Old 07-23-2007, 09:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Pedi also said something about starting cow's milk at 12 months. Which, I know there must be multiple threads on milk. I still haven't done my research on that. My other concern with this pedi, and the practice in general, is that they jump to the worst case scenario. I won't go into a long, involved story but my daughter is very healthy and has had some unnecessary tests because of it. I'm a first time mom trying to make my way but sometimes you start to second guess yourself if you're not getting any support. I've gone to the tribal area but most of the drs in my city are mainstream, especially the ones that are covered by my insurance. But there are a few options so we will try them out. Once I find someone I like I probably won't go that often, since we're not vaxing.
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