high need? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-06-2007, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How do you know if you have a "high need" baby? How does it differ from normal newborn behavior?
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Old 08-07-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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Generally speaking, some of the characteristics are: sleep issues (won't sleep w/out being held, etc.), more-than-normal crying, wants to be held all the time, etc.
If you have a high need baby, you know it

sarah, mama to e & j 8/08, and big brother 8/06
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Old 08-07-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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I found that the Dr Sears "fussy baby book: parenting your high needs child" was VERY helpful - it has a list of characteristics, plus a lot of helpful hints and strategies for infants and toddlers. It helped me alot.
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Old 08-07-2007, 02:28 AM
 
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have you read doctor sears' website?

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 08-07-2007, 10:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I hadn't thought to jump on the websight. I don't know if it's just me being over tired with our new baby and taking care of our 2yr old or not. Thanks. I am glad for pouches, I could barely put the baby down yesterday.
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Old 08-07-2007, 11:03 AM
 
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One of the things that is a big indicator is that High Needs babies are consistently that way. Whereas a easy going baby may have a day or a few hours where they are fussy, a high needs baby may have a day or a few hours where they are NOT fussy. The rest of the time they are. So if your baby is 'high needs' most of the time, then you know. Otherwise it may be teeth or a growth spurt or gas, ect.
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Old 08-07-2007, 01:46 PM
 
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I have a high needs baby. I have spent the last month or so thinking, either I forgot how much babies cry/need to be held, or this kid's different. When I look at books like the Dr. Sears, it confirms it. The thing is, most people don't know she is so hard because they see a happy, calm baby. It wasn't until I spent an hour at my friend's house last night that she saw what I mean. If Claire's eyes re open,, I need to do at least one soothing technique: sling, walking, bouncing, nursing, repeat....... I'm glad she's consolable, but I am absolutely worn out. I DO have to put her down b/c I have two other children who need me. I try to be very efficient when the baby is sleeping. I try to prepare lunch and dinner ahead, switch laundry, everything I can't do with one hand. Sometimes it feels like the ship is sinking....:

Yikes, sorry to hijack your thread, if this sounds like your little one, I guess we can comiserate. Don't have advice except I am confident it wil get better!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:27 PM
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Oh, you know I think Dr. sears said something to the effect that if you're not sure whether or not you have a high needs child, then you don't.

Intensity is the big thing for me. Dd is intense, she goes 24/7, she needs constant holding and attention, you can NOT put her down (and she's almost 2 already for crying out loud!), intense emotions--she is either euphoric or in full meltdown mode, constant activity--she's like a tornado on a rampage, constant demands, needs to be in the thick of whatever is going on, driven, emotional, energetic. There is NO mistaking a high needs child, imo.

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
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Old 08-08-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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In the very beginning, I thought I just couldn't handle my kid...I mean, I was a first time mom, and while everyone else was going on and on about "how great it was" being a mom, I felt like I was being tortured . But after a while, and asking some questions on different boards, I was directed to the Dr Sears site....and it WASN'T me...DS is definitely high needs. Of the "12 characteristics" of a high needs child, he meets 9 of them: . So now I don't feel it is all me, although I will still say there are days when I feel like he is torturing me. He is 10 months old now, and a LITTLE bit better...he'll occaisionally allow me to put him down, since he wants to try and walk. He is exceptionally social, adn for him, another thing that has helped is having him go to a busy babysitter's house one day a week- he gets some interactionwhich he LOVES and I get a break . All I can say is..get help, take breaks, and BABYWEAR!! Good luck
Kelly (he's crying to be held right now...gotta go get him! just started)

Kelly, wife to DH, mom to Caden Reese (10-2-06), Tessa Brynn (12-26-08 ), and Maddox Quinn (7-16-11). Fur-mama to Finnegan, Ripley, Raisin (my little kitty amputee) and Kimchi. 748/2011, 2028/2012-I did it!! 2023/2013-Again!!! 404/2014
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Old 08-08-2007, 11:00 PM
 
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My experience has been that everyone else in the world calls my son a "high needs" baby but that to me he's just....him. He likes to be held, which seems to be why people think he so "high needs". So I definately think the label has to come from the parents, not from anyone else.
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