CLINGY 7 mos. old HELP! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 07-16-2003, 10:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My first child was very colicky (sp?) and cried all the time, if you held him all the time or not, until he learned how to crawl at about 5 mos. My second was very independent and easy going.
Caden is not colicky, he's very happy as long as you hold him. He is just VERY clingy. He wants to be held ever single second. He barely rolls over and doesn't sit well on his own and I think it's because he doesn't get any practice! I had to change into my bathing suit/put sunscreen on to take the kids to the pool today and had to put him down for 5 min. in plain site of me to do this. He got so worked up that when I picked him up, he threw up all over me. I rarely let him get worked up, but there are times I've had to and he throws up every time.
I've bought an Ergo so that I can get more done and it's wonderful, but I just am a little concerned about this not being able to be put down for one second stuff. I guess I should add that we did just get home from vacation, so it's probably worse, but this was going on before vacation.
Is there any insight anyone can give me? Am I making this worse by holding him all the time? Do I need to let him cry *JUST a little* a little more often? Or is this just a phase I need to get through?
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#2 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone? Anyone? Beuler?
HELLO? THIS is why people post OT in Diapering. How else do you get a lot of views and responses without having to wait forever!!? Ok, Ok, it hasn't exactly been FOREVER, but I'd have to wait a max of 5 min. in Diapering for a response. :
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#3 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 03:19 AM
 
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I think this is probably just a phase he is going through. Is he okay when you sit down with him on the floor and he is propped up somehow? I used to prop dd up with the boppy pillow so she could get a different view of the world and play with some toys. I would (and still do)sit down on the floor beside her and talk to her or play with her or whatever.

My dd rolled over a few times when she was that age, then she stopped. She hated being on her stomach and didn't like to be on her back too much either. I didn't think she would crawl because I held her so much. Now she is rolling and trying to crawl. She is 8 1/2 months now.

She still likes to be held but also now wants to get down on the floor, usually at the worst times (like at the store or out on the gravel driveway,etc.)

Not sure if that is any help but I hope it is.
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#4 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, katelyan. That is encouraging, I appreciate your response.
He is often ok for a few minutes if I put him down next to me or sitting on the floor with me, but really only maybe 2 or 3 min., then he starts fussing again to be held. I would think he'd enjoy playing more, but it's like he is really afraid I'll get up and go away. Probably because often I do! Just for a minute or so, though. I do have 2 other children to care for.
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#5 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 01:25 PM
 
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My dd was pretty similar at that age. She was happy as can be as long as she was in contact with me. I did try to spend some time on the floor with her either facing me in the boppy or leaning on me so that she could explore without angst. But, she lived in her sling for a long time.

Then, when she was ready, she starting asking to get down. She had a particular gesture that meant, "I'm ready to get down."

I used to get so many comments about how I was "holding her back." MY FIL even asked if I thought she didn't crawl because I held her too much. But now (at 15 months), when they see the way that she can entertain herself for up to an hour (with me close at hand and watching), they're amazed.

Unlike so many other kids I know who have to cry to be picked up, my daughter askes to do things independently.

So, I guess I'm saying that I think you're fine and doing a great job.
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#6 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 11:02 PM
 
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Hey Holly,

Us diapering mamas sometimes sneak around to other boards, hee hee.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Some kids are just clingy, yk? I really don't think letting him cry more is the answer. It sounds like something he just needs to outgrow in his own time.

I give you a big pat on the back for carrying him around all the time. That can't be easy with 2 other kids clamoring for your attention. And these babies get heavy after a while! Cole used to want to be carried 24/7. He was perfectly content as long as he was being held. Thankfully, now he just wants to be on the floor most of the time crawling around and exploring and stuff - good thing because this kid weighs 22 lbs. now and my biceps look like grapefruits, LOL. But even now he still has days (when he's teething or growing or Mars is aligned with Jupiter : ) when nothing else will do but being carried around in my arms all day. And, he hates all types of slings now.

Hang in there, Holly - just think of the great upper body workout you're getting!
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#7 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 11:27 PM
 
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a simple "bump" would have sufficed. *sigh* please be patient, some of us don't come here every day.

How old are your other kids? Can one of them sit with him while you play peek a boo from another room with him and get something done at the same time? hmmm...what else can I think of? how well does he sit up? Can you put him in the highchair while you cook or whatever? My last two really loved it when I put LOUD music on and danced around them while they were on the floor, I was picking up or whatever and they were getting a show! get really exagerated in your response to him when you have to put him down for a few minutes, like when you were getting dressed, get really really silly, make funny faces and laugh really loud, a lot of times this is enough to distract so they won't freak out and cry. Looks like you have a child who needs a lot of stimulation, so try to overdo everything, and definately get the other kids involved as much as is age appropriate, they are your biggest allies
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#8 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 11:37 PM
 
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I just looked at your post again and saw your other kids' ages. They are definately old enough to be entertaining him while mom walks out of the room. But they aren't used to that yet, so teaching them how to do it will take some time. My 5yo, when in the backseat with the baby, loves to bop himself on the head with a water bottle and make a face with his tongue sticking out for her. It makes her stop crying everytime! And he loves that he is helping with his little sister he'll do it over and over b/c she will start giggling and then chortling and then really let loose with a huge laugh and then this makes him laugh...well, you get the point. Insisting on the boys' help really got me through my first year with her, I couldn't have done it without them And now I can send them all into the backyard to play together and not have to watch them like a hawk, b/c my 8yo will keep an eye on her, letting me run around and do laundry or whatever (we live in a 1 story house and I can see the fenced-in backyard the whole time, if not all the children, iykwim). The boys enjoy their roles as "bigs" and I reward and encourage it everyday.

OK, I'll shut up now, sorry that was so long :LOL
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#9 of 10 Old 07-17-2003, 11:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your replies, ladies!
Jen, you cracked me up and lifted my spirits! Good to hear your little one did outgrow it somewhat.
sunmountain, sorry for venting up there, I thought of a simple *bump*, but needed to express my impatience and frustration. I got it out of my system and felt better, don't spoil that for me! lol
I have tried or use all of your tacticts. My kids love trying to entertain Caden now that they are used to it (I did have to encourage and sometimes kinda force them to at first, but they willingly and wholeheartedly try to help now), but he's a tough nut to crack and seems to be getting tougher (he seems to know now when they are trying to entertain him and gets mad instantly). Thanks for taking the time to give me some ideas, though, I appreciate that!
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#10 of 10 Old 07-18-2003, 03:54 AM
 
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Sorry I couldn't read all the replies, I did skim, but I"m in a rush. I wanted to come in and offer support. My dd is 7 mos and is a lot clingier lately. She is also more sensitive to everything. If I jokingly give a friend a hard time and it sounds like I'm mad, she'll cry. I think that's rpetty normal or a bit early for this age. around 8 mos is separation anxiety and stranger anxiety I think. Anyway, I hope our other kids can entertain ds. Remember that all things in Baby World are cyclical and this too shall pass. As if you haven't heard that before. I've found that when I think I might lose it, something gives. I realized that with teething. every time I was so sleep deprived I thought I would die and was at wit's end, she would cut a tooth and start sleeping more peacefully. Anyway, it's hard to rememebr sometimes that it won't go on forever. It won't.
Lauren
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