I recently posted a thread asking at what age your babe stopped nursing to sleep, but it was really the wrong question! I don't mind nursing my 9 1/2 mo to sleep, it's the staying with her after she's asleep that i'm wanting to know about. It's really nice resting with her, especially in the afternoons, but sometimes i'd like to have time to myself.
So I was wondering, if i just keep on doing what i've been doing, and napping with her, will there be some magic age at which she won't mind me leaving after she's asleep and stop expecting me to be there after 40 mins when she stirs?
Or - if i just keep doing this, will she expect me to nap with her when she's four !!??
Gosh, I wish I knew. Rarely my 17mo DD will go to sleep on her own, usually I have to lay down with her. Once down, she usually sleeps pretty well but when she wakes, she's immediately hysterical that I'm not there. The same thing at night. If I get up with the baby and she wakes and I'm not there it's hysteria and usually, she's screaming hysterically just as I've gotten the baby back to sleep so then they're both awake again. I have no idea when this stage passes or how to help her transition to sleeping securely on her own but I sure hope someone has ideas because it's incredibly hard have to lay down with DD every time she goes to sleep and have a newborn who needs my attention at the same time.
Different exp with each.
First 2 kids, slept alone well from day one. Once they were past newborn stage, they would sleep alone, but if they woke up in an hour, I would go in and nurse them back down so they would sleep for another hour. But I could almost always get back up (unless teething was at its worst).
My ds was another story. He wouldn't even lie flat in the family bed the first 3 mos. I had to sleep semi-reclined on the couch with him slung to my body. He was very active and had tense muscles, just couldn't relax.
When he hit 3 mos, he would sleep in the family bed, what a relief (we were 5 in the bed).
But he wouldn't nap alone unitil 1 yr. I had to hold him. I would've liked to lie down in the family bed with him for naps, but couldn't, b/c the girls were 3 and 5 and needed watching and helping. so I would sit in the rocker every time. He would stay asleep, didn't mind the noise. If I had to get up, I would sling him. He was big and heavy tho, so I didn't try to do this all that often.
the good part was, once he had a nice nap, he would be so pleasant and sunny, he could be put down in a seat or somewhere and be happy for 10 mins at a time, while I ran around loading dishwashers, laundry, peeing, whatever I was sitting there thinking about for 2 hours! The girls loved to entertain him when he was awake.
Hi, my ds has always let me get up after he is settled and asleep on the bed or futon. I used to nurse him to sleep, then get up. Now he MUST be slung to sleep, usually just sucking on his thumb. I then lay the sling with him still in it on the bed. I often tuck pillows around his back and put him on his side, so that he is still feeling pressure on all the points he was feeling pressure while being slung. I start out walking and bouncing, but as he falls more deeply asleep, I slow to just a rock, then maybe just stand still next to the bed, so that the transition is not too difficult. Sometimes he wakes a little during the transition, and usually needs to suck his thumb, my finger, or nurse for a few seconds to resettle.
Could you possibly try getting your babe to sleep in a different way, and see if you are more successful leaving? Of course, I'm trying to get my ds to go to sleep in some other way besides the sling! I can't walk around outside during lightning storms!
ds is 6 mo and still naps at the breast but slepps through any moving i might do and usually we spend the time on the computer.:LOL
I don't know but I am losing my sanity. My little one is 8 mos. old and cannot sleep more than 15 mins. w/o me.
as i sit here and write this my dds (ages 2 1/2 years and 4 years) are asleep in bed.
your dc will one day sleep/take a nap while you work in another room. just not yet....i've been where you are and it can be frustrating in the moment...but it doesn't last forever and you will be so thankful you stuck it out and met your dc's needs no matter how inconvenient it was. this too shall pass, and sooner than you think. the days are long, but the years are so short!
Thanks Sparklemom, i think that's what i needed to hear - to put it all in perspective. I Fly, i can also get her to sleep in the car seat if i'm out and about, then carry her in and she'll sleep 1 1/2 hours without waking - except i have to transfer her to a bigger seat soon so won't be able to do that any more. It's only if i've nursed her down that she usually takes 1 hour to be in a deep sleep and i have to be there when she stirs at 40 mins. After an hour i can sneak out and have half an hour to do things. I used to always get her to sleep in the sling until about six months when she naturally preferred nursing to sleep on my lap and would resist falling asleep in the sling as long as possible cos she preferred nursing. this was the time when she'd nurse up to 3 hours while sleeping. that's over now but she still won't do the sling thing, and it now wears me out walking round and round as it would take an hour now to get her to sleep in the sling. so lying down is the easy way for me now - guess i'll just have to wait it out!
thanks for your replies,
I agree that each child is different. My first would only nap where she could hear us moving around but she would let us put her down, once she was sound asleep, from day one. My second never went down without us there until she was a year or so old and then she would only nap in the living room where she could hear us.
Samantha, my 5 month old, is a totaly different story. As long as she is sleepy she will drift off on her own at nap time. I do have to nurse her for a bit first but, as soon as she is drifting, it take a very loud noise or startle to get her to wake up. At night she will not sleep without us but she is a great sleeper during the day.
The one constant I can vouch for is that they eventualy sleep on their own and, given enough time, inevitably give up the naps you worry about now
Just wanted to give you a big
My girls have slept on their own from day one, hang in there, im sure as soon as your daughter realises you are not going to abandon her she will sleep on her own.
I know im not much help, just remember they are little for such a short time, then they become teenagers and hate being physically close. Take Care
At 8 months my baby decided he didn't want to sleep with me anymore...he kicked...he screamed...he just...would not sleep...until I left him alone and voila...instant sleep.
At 1 year he occassionally goes to sleep on his own, still sleeps on his own but will occassionally nap with me. I usually rock/cuddle him to sleep though...it's the one time in the entire day where he is content to stay in my arms and have me fiddle with his toes and fingers and allow me that quiet time to take mental pictures of all the cute things about him.
The rest of the time he is go go go go go...