The Myth of "Needing to Get Away" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is an article that I really liked:
http://www.aolff.org/myth.htm

It's so true to me. I've had a lot of people go "Well, you need time away" since I've had ds, and they don't mean an hour or two (usually). They generally seem to be talking about spending lots of time away from him, which is something I have no desire to do.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#2 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 02:23 AM
 
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ITA about not needing to get away although I haven't had anyone say that I need to. Babies are little for just a short time and once that time is gone, there is no getting it back. I can put off "getting away" until later.
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#3 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 02:56 PM
 
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I think sometimes "you need to get away" really means "I want to get your baby alone without you." At least that's what it means to my MIL .
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#4 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 04:50 PM
 
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I didn't need much time away in the first six or even twelve months of my baby's life, but I definitely needed time away within the first eighteen months. I think the article is a little idealistic. Sometimes a coat of nail polish doesn't cut it.
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#5 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 10:32 PM
 
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I agree with Dodo. This article is very idealistic. Until my son was 8 months, I lived my life the way she described in the article. I think I only left ds several times (besides the times I left him with dh) and it honestly didn't feel like a strain. My dh & I made sure we were both getting alone time. But lately, since my son is more *on the move* and his naps are shorter and he is still not sleeping through the night. I have definitely been feeling burn out and experiencing the need to get away. Leaving ds with a babysitter and going out for 2 or 3 hrs dinner with my dh has done wonders for me. I KNOW that I am a better mother when I have this time out for myself. This fall I plan to take some kind of night class as well. I have a lot of friends who don't take the time to do these kinds of things and I see the wear and tear on their faces and some of them seem quite depressed. I can't imagine this is good for their babies. I don't think mothers need to feel guilty for wanting time to themselves.

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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#6 of 7 Old 07-27-2003, 11:08 PM
 
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What a great article! Thanks for posting it. My mother spent the night on Saturday night. As long as she was here, I thought... oooh, I can take a little longer taking my bath! I got in there, washed my hair, and, as usual, I was ready for someone to bring me my baby! I just plain don't like being without him -- I miss him too much!

Jean

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#7 of 7 Old 07-29-2003, 01:00 AM
 
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I don't post here much but I have to say Thank You for posting this article. I have never felt the need to get away but have dealt with lots of soiciety presure to "get away". It was a light blub article for me. Thanks
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