I have to nap when he does because if I step out of the room, he somehow knows (mommy radar) and wakes up wailing within minutes. I also have to go to bed at night when he does for the same reason. The other evening, I waited until he was sound asleep, and then went and had coffee with my girlfriends, only to come back 45 minutes later to a sobbing baby and stressed dh.
Could our parenting style have made my baby "too attached". Is this a phase? My high need baby demands his mama "24-7". It's wonderful to be so needed but how do mothers with babies like this carve out a just a little time for themselves (and their marriages)?
My best advice to you is that you take deep breaths and relax, knowing that this is only a very short time and pretty soon your baby will be crawling and toddling away from you as quickly as his little legs will carry him, secure in the strong attachment he has to you. But you have not made him "too attached"; you are meeting his needs for a strong attachment and security. He will learn to be independent when the time is right for him.
Hang in there! It's tough, but it does get better.
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Luckily it only lasted a few weeks. I have trouble with these times because I am kind of a loner at heart (only child, etc.) and I need lots of personal space. Funny that I still try to parent Cole according to AP philosophies, LOL. So I find the clingy times to be very trying. I can understand what you are going through! Just try to keep reminding yourself that by continuing to meet his needs, however unfounded they may seem to you (I'm just going into the kitchen, for goodness sake! : ) you are giving him the foundation of trust he will rely on for the rest of his life. These few months will be gone so quickly but the security you are fostering in him will remain. Hang in there, mama! You are doing a good job!
Be patient and try to laugh about it!
I know what you are going through. I haven't gone to the bathroom on my own in months! There were times when I completely questioned AP and thought he was "too attached". But now I see bits of the independent boy his is becoming. He is funny, adventuresome and always laughing. I believe it is because he knows I am always there for him.
I think the other posts are right, it is just a phase and soon you might even miss it
I'm sure you're right about missing this stage once it passes. Between the ages of 3mos and 6mos, the only way my ds would nap is if he was on me, in the rocking chair. I was spending 5 hours/day in the rocker. At the time, it was pretty exasperating. But then, after he grew out of that phase, I missed all of the extra cuddles our "rockies" had provided - and would often convince myself that my ds needed "rockies" to fall asleep when he really didn't.
So, I'm off to bed with my ds...at least I get lots of sleep! I'm sure I will miss that (and all of the baby cuddles too) when this stage passes.
I finally had time to check out the "Kelly's AP page" link you sent. We have started incorporating some of the different "peek a boo" variations into our playtime and we're beginning to develop good-bye/hello routines. Thank goodness I wasn't planning on returning to work anytime soon, that would be so hard on both of us!
|I have to nap when he does because if I step out of the room, he somehow knows (mommy radar) and wakes up wailing within minutes. I also have to go to bed at night when he does for the same reason.|
At night when I'm banished to bed while she sleeps, DH graciously tends to housework, cleaning up the kitchen, etc. while I hang with DD in bed. The nice thing is, I've been able to do A LOT of reading while she sleeps at night. It's almost like (and I hate to even say this out loud!) I have more time to myself now than I had before we had DD because I'm guaranteed a few hours at night tucked up in bed with her.