Giving up sling: lots of guilt - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 08-02-2003, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is 7 m.o. and weighs 22 lbs. About a month ago and $400 worth of chiropractic later, i gave up the sling b/c of back and shoulder problems. I have tried 3 different brands as well as a baby bjorn. Nothing is pain-free. I also have a back pack that I wear fairly often on walks etc. but that, too is limiting and causes pain after a while.

I don't get it....I'm in good shape, lift weights even. Why do all the books and kudos about babywearing never mention this? I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only one who feels pain.

How do you moms do it? I can still carry her in it for short periods (at the store, etc.) but not for walks and not just hanging around the house, or I feel it for days afterward. So....I pretty much now have a "stroller baby" when it comes to extended outdoor activities.

I'm feeling really guilty about this. I'm also spending lots and lots of time on the floor with dd. She seems okay with it....so why do I feel so guilty? Maybe it's just not fitting in with the ideal of a happy baby-wearing mama/daughter pair I had in mind. Anyone else give up the sling? At what weight?

Thanks for insights!
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#2 of 9 Old 08-02-2003, 11:09 PM
 
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nak

I had an OTSBH and really decreased slinging areound 4-6 mos--because of the heat in the summer. Once he started walking, he didn't like it, so I;d say it was about 99% obsolete by 12 mos. Don't feel guilty; mamas shouldn't gave to be in pain to be "good" mothers.

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
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#3 of 9 Old 08-02-2003, 11:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mocha09
I'm feeling really guilty about this. I'm also spending lots and lots of time on the floor with dd. She seems okay with it....so why do I feel so guilty? Maybe it's just not fitting in with the ideal of a happy baby-wearing mama/daughter pair I had in mind. Anyone else give up the sling? At what weight?

Thanks for insights!
I think one of the main purposes of a sling is to ensure a lot of closeness and touching . . .you can certainly accomplish this in other ways. For example, when you spend time on the floor with DD, do you make sure to stroke her? Do you just sit her on your lap and read a book together? I bet you do!

As far as being out, if you need to use the stroller, I think the most important thing is to talk to DD frequently at eye level. While you two are walking, I'm sure she's getting a lot just by looking around.

One other suggestion . . .you might want to try a Baby Trekker It supports the baby's weight on your hips. It is very different from the Baby Bjorn, which I found to be painful when DD was just 10lbs! I think the Baby Trekker is much better than a sling for long walks because the weight is centered.

BTW, you're not the only mama I've heard complain of pain!

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif

 

 

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#4 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 12:00 AM
 
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i thought most moms wore thier babies for the first 4 or 5 months, and then started giving them floor time?
im not sure here...but since i have two i find it really really hard to sling kalob as much as i want to. he gets set down a bit, as karina needs me too, and i find it difficult to find a balance.
dont feel bad, if she is your first i am sure she is getting plenty of love and attention.
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#5 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 12:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Charmie, thanks for your post, and I looked at your waterbirth pics. They brought tears to me eyes! Congratulations! And how do you have time to be on MDC?
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#6 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 03:11 AM
 
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"As far as being out, if you need to use the stroller, I think the most important thing is to talk to DD frequently at eye level. While you two are walking, I'm sure she's getting a lot just by looking around."


Exactly....strollers are not terrible in and of themselves....just like anything else it is the overuse or sole use that is the problem.

We use our sling, Bjorn, stroller when out sometimes and Daddy's strong arms
....they all work and have advantages depending on the situation. You are doing just fine....please don't feel guilty.

Of course, I do have a 20 pd 7 mo....so I understand the pain
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#7 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 02:03 PM
 
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First of all, don't feel guilty!! (I'm so bossy...)
Taking care of your own body allows you to take care of your kids, so it's extremely important.

Second, have you tried a wraparound style baby carrier like the EllaRoo? See www.peppermint.com. I have one and it distributes the weight really evenly and comfortably. My son is 8 months and also over 20 pounds. However, I don't have any complicating back/shoulder conditions.

And, if that type of sling doesn't work for you, I'm sure your baby will still get plenty of cuddles and closeness -- sling or no sling.

Hang in there mama!

xoox pam
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#8 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 06:13 PM
 
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ITA with the poster who suggested the Baby Trekker, EllaRoo, or something similar. I just got an Ergo bc it was just uncomfortable to sling my baby now (she's 7 mo) and it rocks! As I see it, carrying her makes her happy no matter what kind of carrier it is (as long as it's physiologically okay, etc.), and dd is very happy in the Ergo. It's expensive and I had to save up, but so far it's been totally worth it, very comfy and she's actually fallen asleep in it twice! For this baby that's a miracle.
Take care and save your poor back!
Peace,
Beth and baby Miriam
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#9 of 9 Old 08-03-2003, 09:30 PM
 
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Whatever you do, don't feel guilty. I am just starting to learn this after practically not eating for two months because Maggie hated being put down. (She tolerates it now and actually prefers it sometimes.)

Being a mom shouldn't make you feel guilty or put you in pain. I have a shoulder/neck injury and had to stop slinging Maggie all the time about 4 weeks ago. The sling she likes hurts me, and she won't tolerate a more comfortable one. So, as bad as I felt about it, she get carried in a regular carrier, arms, a stroller, or not at all.

Then I realized she is smart, strong, happy, and growing well. She hardly ever cries. Those are all really good reasons not to feel guilty.
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