In our 30s with Our First Babe - December - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 09:34 PM
 
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I like BSG too! Based on the other stuff you like, you should check out Deadwood and the Wire via DVD - two of the best-written TV shows I've ever seen. The Wire, especially, is amazing.
Yay. I love getting new tv ideas. We also watched Showtime's Californication which started off kind of meh, but was alright. Not one of my favorites or anything.

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As for the toddler forum... I'd say there's a pretty long gray area when your kid is both a baby AND a toddler . Is she walking now?
Yes. She walked just before 10 mos. UGH. She gives me a run for my money, that's for sure.

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You can't leave.
YAY.

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I went to UCSC too!!! How funny. When were you there? (Not that we would have met - I was so focused on Politics stuff then.) I miss Santa Cruz so much.
Hah. That is so funny. We should get together sometime. I need more mom friends. I was at UCSC from 98-2001. I love visiting SC but I'm glad we live here now.

So funny you all want to convince DH to have another and I am the one who needs to be convinced. Sofie is wonderful and amazing but she really needs a lot from me. She loves dh of course, but she is super attached to me. I just think it would be best for her if we wait a little while.

Also, your babies make my seems like a behemoth. She was 12lbs by 3 mos easy. (8.2 at birth) She's leveled off a lot since then and hasn't even really gained anything in a few months. ~20lbs now.
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#362 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 09:45 PM
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Also, your babies make my seems like a behemoth.
You're telling me! Willa (8lbs 9 at birth) was well over 12 lbs by 6 weeks. At her last appointment (5 months) she was over 19. I keep expecting her to plateau, but in the meantime I'm enjoying her VERY chubby folds. her many many many folds.... and chins.... but this is a good time to be chunky
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#363 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 10:00 PM
 
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I have this irrational fear of hitting age 35 and immediately being considered "higher risk" or something.
i really don't think that's true in the ny area. of the 2 mw groups i looked at, both had age 43 as their threshold for presumptively high risk.
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#364 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 10:03 PM
 
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re more kids: dh wants them 25 mos apart; i say at least 30 mos. this is mostly because i had a terrible 1st tri and i am terrified to repeat it.
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#365 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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except manhattan. bad day on the mortgage front.
Yep there... I'm sorry about the mortgage stuff. Did something happen with the co-op?
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#366 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 10:34 PM
 
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Hah. That is so funny. We should get together sometime. I need more mom friends. I was at UCSC from 98-2001. I love visiting SC but I'm glad we live here now.

So funny you all want to convince DH to have another and I am the one who needs to be convinced. Sofie is wonderful and amazing but she really needs a lot from me. She loves dh of course, but she is super attached to me. I just think it would be best for her if we wait a little while.

Also, your babies make my seems like a behemoth. She was 12lbs by 3 mos easy. (8.2 at birth) She's leveled off a lot since then and hasn't even really gained anything in a few months. ~20lbs now.
We do need to get together - I have no mom friends and need some. Rachel and I both had early babies, so they were little. Isabella would have been big had she gone to term - 8 lbs EASY!
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#367 of 528 Old 12-18-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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Here's the link to new Isabella photos. These are hopefully going to turn into our Christmas cards, if we get around to getting them! (I know, we're running out of time.)

http://s191.photobucket.com/albums/z...ginator=bottom
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#368 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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whoa elizabeth - those are so cute!
Julia - I love those ollie pics too!

so nannies. two choices right now - my current nanny, whom we really like, has a friend that can split the days with her. The friend only has babysitting experience (with family) but she seems fine. there's a slight concern that with each taking so few hours they might find other jobs and not be as flexible as I wish, but they are aware of the hours I'm likely to 'expand' to and I don't think would screw me over. I did meet another person who could take all the hours, has a strong reference, actually seemed a bit more mature than the others (more traveled and 'savvy' in some ways)... So, I'm leaning towards the 2 just because we'd have an extra person to call and we really like the one we have now (I think will like the other too). Think that's worth the juggling of an extra person? thoughts?
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#369 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Elizabeth... she's gorgeous!

Pie, sorry for whatever is happening with the mortgage. NYC is so expensive! And this is coming from someone else in a high-priced housing area! I hope something works out for you guys!

CJ... just go with your gut on the nanny thing I'd say. Can they cook?
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#370 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 01:38 AM
 
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CJ... just go with your gut on the nanny thing I'd say. Can they cook?
ooo - that's an idea! actually I am going to start asking for about 1 hr of housework during nap time, making a list of stuff to do - they all seemed ok with it.

hey: you california people are making me jealous! wish there were more mdc in their 30s+ with #1 types near me. There must be, but they're just not here...
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#371 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 01:13 PM
 
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Ooo, the Wire. I agree. I didn't get into it at all at first but now it blows me away. Love Deadwood and BSG too. Also, I saw Knocked Up in the theater whilst obviously preggo too. Which was hilarious because the rest of the audience was high school students. And the couple I used to nanny for. I'm abivalent about the portrayal in Knocked Up. We also just saw Waitress. I agree though, whatever the portrayal, birth scenes now make me cry. Even the births of puppies.

That's my media update.

I'm sort of terrified about the more kids question. All along we've wanted one. We still want one. I'm terrified though that I'll change my mind, or rather that my hormones will change my mind. Should I _keep_ the diapers or sell them?

Three months is my favorite age yet. Cute cute cute! (Also, giant. ) And waking up...
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#372 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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I'm abivalent about the portrayal in Knocked Up. We also just saw Waitress. I agree though, whatever the portrayal, birth scenes now make me cry. Even the births of puppies.
Ambivalent how? And, what did you think of Waitress? I honestly thought it was completely mediocre even though I love Nathan Fillion (Firefly) and I thought Keri Russell did a fine job. I liked the pie idea though.

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Should I _keep_ the diapers or sell them?
I would wait to do anything. You can always sell later. At three months I was still on Zoloft for PPD and couldn't even think about another kid much less take care of the one I had. (Without sobbing, that is)

As she becomes more expressive I find that I vascillate even more between wanting 5 and never having another. Hah.

I loved 3 mos too, and then every month after that. Right now, 9-12 has been my favorite age because they are learning so quickly and moving and laughing etc.
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#373 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 03:40 PM
 
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ooo - that's an idea! actually I am going to start asking for about 1 hr of housework during nap time, making a list of stuff to do - they all seemed ok with it.
Oooh ... this sounds awesome. Nannies freak me out though ... I don't really know why. In theory I think it's a great idea but in actuality I am probably too much of a control freak for it to work well.

(Sidenote ... how did my daughter get into my desk, take out a box of staples and open it all in less than two minutes without me noticing?)

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hey: you california people are making me jealous! wish there were more mdc in their 30s+ with #1 types near me. There must be, but they're just not here...
Hmm .. sorry. I do have a friend who lives in Virgina, with a baby a few weeks older than mine, but I don't guess that will help.
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#374 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 10:43 PM
 
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Found a possible nanny to share with another momma in my new mom's group. She has a 5 month old daughter who's very independent and would like to do childcare/housekeeping. I think having someone other than mom and dad a couple of days a week would be nice, especially the housekeeping part!!! She also cooks.

We'll see - we all exchanged numbers and will talk about it more seriously in a couple of weeks.

I like her and I think she'd be open to my parenting style. The biggest issue is childproofing our house and if she'd be okay with our dogs... They're great, but not sure that she'd want her 5 month old around them all day and they are NOT happy if left alone in the backyard (not to mention that the beagle eats dirt, rocks, leaves, poop, etc...)

Got The Vaccine Book today and just started it!!! Can't wait to come up with a plan - I feel so overwhelmed by the amount of unbalanced information that I'm looking forward to a rational take on the issue.
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#375 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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House front - finally got serious enough to call our mortgage person. She didn't sound all that hopeful about us keeping this house and buying one... We'd like to keep this as a rental until the market improves, but our debt to income ratio may not let us. We'll see. Who decided that anything over $417K is a jumbo loan??? You can't buy anything for less than that here! Seriously. And maybe a small condo. Argh...

Selling this and buying at the same time just sounds so impossible - we need to do some stuff to make this one sellable, too. At least this area is still selling...
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#376 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 11:03 PM
 
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The houses on our block are selling for about 90K less than what our appraisal (i.e. what the taxman tells us we have to pay on) is worth, much much less than what we paid for it. Guess we won't be selling anytime soon!

I'm having a rough time with CD-ing. Basically I hate that when he pees, his enTIRE dipe gets wet and his skin is soaked by the time I get to it (which is whenever he gets around to crying so I know to change him). I posted in the diapering forum but does anyone here have an answer for this? I hate the way he's so wet when I change him but sposies still kind of creep me out. Still, we're relying on them more and more. Anyone else? I feel like if I don't CD I'll get kicked off of these forums! :
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#377 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 11:26 PM
 
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Don't kick me out, but we use 7th Gen disposables. They last all night and are heavy at the end, but last all night so far... And they don't feel wet... Sorry CD'ers! Disposables are so cute, but I'm in a drought-ridden area and it's more important to conserve water than it is landfill space here (I think)... That, and I'm lazy!

Sorry about the house value, Julia. That sucks. We got into our house JUST in time (Dec. 2000). I can't believe how cheap it was looking back, and we could BARELY afford it. The house doubled in value in less than 2 years and has stayed stable (so far) since the housing market dropped. We are in an older neighborhood, too, so it's one that people who can't afford bigger homes look to so 1st time buyers are still coming into this area. I have a lot of friends who are stuck until the market rebounds. We'll see. Maybe I'll end up quitting my job instead of going back to work and we'll be in this house until we retire!
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#378 of 528 Old 12-19-2007, 11:52 PM
 
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Elizabeth, I totally feel you on the jumbo loan problem. Same here. How did you find your moms' group? They have a lot here that you have to PAY to join. Manhattan. Hmph!

Julia, We quit CD'ing. I was so committed to it pre-baby but DH really hated it. I went to a forum on a book by Pam Leo called Connection Parenting and she says that when reality and philosophy conflict, ask yourself, will this affect my connection to my child? for me, the answer on CDs was no. It did adversely affect DH's connection to diaper changing. I prefer to think that we are on hiatus from it. I have to admit that I may have secretly wanted to be done with CDs too. I found myself saying to myself, oh, i'll be out and about today, need a sposie. Maybe that was subliminal messaging?
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#379 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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I'm having a rough time with CD-ing. Basically I hate that when he pees, his enTIRE dipe gets wet and his skin is soaked by the time I get to it (which is whenever he gets around to crying so I know to change him).
Forgive if this is a stupid question, but can you try changing him like every 2 hours, even if he hasn't cried? I've also read that if it doesn't bother him it's okay to leave him in a wet dipe for a long time at night. Your post makes it sound like leaking isn't the issue for you.

I'm having something like that with the Kissaluv's now -- I don't like to use them anymore because the terry gets really wet. But I find that with my organic cotton dipes, organic bamboo dipes, and my Bumgenius all-in-ones, the material feels less icky even when wet (so it doesn't bother me as much if she's been laying in it). The BGs are basically like disposables. I'm not sure what you're using now, but if you want to try something else you might try one with really good quality material and a bunch of layers. Dipes might also fit better and be easier when your babe is bigger.

Jocelyn, um, I liked Waitress. Not as good as Trust, but how could I not see it? With its sad backstory and all. And Keri Russell being pregnant while I was. I listened to the commentary too (breastfeeding means I sometimes watch Netflix movies twice!) and liked it better then. I am a fan of Nathan as well and also liked the pie. Let's say I wanted to like it, and found that I wasn't too disappointed. Knocked Up I felt ambivalent about because I could see the AP points of the portrayal (her OB stood her up, for example -- OBs did not come off looking good in this movie) but also the sort of tarted up offensive parts. I'd have to see it again post-birth to comment more astutely.
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#380 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:16 AM
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Well, we are CD'ing, and I have to say I love it. In fact, the only times we've used disposables (generally when traveling) I get frustrated because I get so many poop blowouts with them and none with the cloth ones. Plus, they're cute.

But... I don't think anyone should ever feel guilty about not CDing. Frankly, if there's one issue I have with MDC, it's that sometimes it can give the impression that there are too many "perfect" natural/crunchy mamas out there, who somehow are able to make their own baby clothes and slings out off all organic cotton, cloth diaper flawlessly using nothing but prefolds, sleep through every night nursing, keep their house spotlessly clean without relying on any toxic chemicals, and never spend a second away from their child in the first eight years.... I'm exaggerating, obviously, but my point is that there's a wide spectrum of parenting, and I think we all just have to do what works for us and our kids and our busy lives, and pick the things that are priorities to focus on. As you said, Pie, what diapers you use certainly doesn't affect your relationship with your baby.

That said, these are the things that helped me:
- I don't use prefolds. I thought about it briefly (and on the diapering forum, I feel like all the "good" cloth diapering mamas only use prefolds or maybe fitteds), but I really like the ease of pocket diapers. Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius one-size are my favorites. And they're easy enough that DH figured them out right away.
- I got enough that I can go 2-3 days between each load of laundry.
- I got a mini shower. I dont' know how I'd deal with spraying off all the poop without it.
- I hated CD'ing initially for the reason that Julia mentioned. I was using Kissaluv size 0, and Willa would SOAK them, so quickly. Once I started using the Fuzzi bunz (maybe when she was 2 weeks old? They need to be over 8 lbs and I waited until her umbilical cord had fallen off, though I probably didn't need to), I liked CDing much better. I didn't feel like they got so soaked, and they are so much more absorbent than the KLs. I also often put in an extra hemp doubler which is REALLY absorbent - Willa (who's a really heavy wetter) can easily go 11 hours in it at night. I still sometimes have the "soaked through" issue with the fitteds I have - I like them ok, but can't go nearly as long without changing her. Basically, I guess I've realized that I like microfleece as the lining. And hemp as one of the fillers if you need to go a long time between changes.
- I use disposables when it makes sense. For us that's mostly just when we're traveling, but I always keep a few in a diaper bag in case we're out and about and I go through the one extra CD I keep in there, or I just don't feel like dealing with it.
- I got flushable liners to use during the rare occasions Willa gets a diaper rash, so I can use whatever rash cream I want without worrying about it ruining the diapers.

DH was really resistant to the idea of cloth diapering initially - I had to get him to take a free class with me at our local natural baby store to convince him it could be done - but now I think he's more into it than I am. He tried to convince me we could bring our cloth dipes to my parents' place over Christmas, until I pointed out that I didn't really want to lug a suitcase full of diapers in addition to everything else we'd have. But we both really feel like they do a better job of containing Willa's mess.
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#381 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:23 AM
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Jocelyn, um, I liked Waitress. Not as good as Trust, but how could I not see it? With its sad backstory and all. And Keri Russell being pregnant while I was. I listened to the commentary too (breastfeeding means I sometimes watch Netflix movies twice!) and liked it better then. I am a fan of Nathan as well and also liked the pie. Let's say I wanted to like it, and found that I wasn't too disappointed.
Another Nathan fan (really, a firefly/buffy/angel fan...) here, and I liked Waitress too. I didn't love it, but I thought it was cute and enjoyable.
Funny how many movies about unwanted pregnancies there were this year. I saw Juno recently as well (well-written comedy about teen pregnancy - DH knew I was interested in it and arranged for a surprise evening out for me and a friend to go see it when he won free tickets to an early screening) and really enjoyed it. Hard to imagine a sharp, poignant, non-cliched comedy about teen pregnancy, but I think it manages. Especially once it gets past some of the too-witty-for-its-own-good banter that abounds in the early scenes.
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#382 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:28 AM
 
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Haha, ACP, your description about MDC kind of rocks. Sometimes I feel like I should be banished because I don't eat 100% organic food or shop at the co-op even though I'd like to.

We are sort of starting cloth diapers here. We didn't for so long because I was just too tired and sore after my c-sec. Then I started feeling really guilty about the environment so I broke down and bought 3 BG 2.0 AIO's. I love them. They are so much nicer than the Kirkland dipes we were using. And, like you said, never ever a blowout. I haven't found that they feel soaked when S pees in them, but we haven't really come up with a good solution for night time except to change her and that gets her too riled up so we still use 'sposies at night. (and most of the time since we only have 3 cloths) I'm gonna buy some more in January and hopefully by the time she's out of diapers I'll have a good supply for my next kid.

Minnow, I'm glad you liked Waitress - my best friend really liked it too. Maybe it's just me. Although the little song she sings to her daughter is priceless. As far as Knocked Up goes, I didn't even associate the negative connotation of OB's with AP, BUT I didn't really have a good experience with my doctors/medical care, so I suppose I can appreciate the sentiment regardless.

Oh and as far as housing goes, I hear you all. We just got our supplemental property tax bill (a year later) and my eyeballs hurt from popping out of my head. I suppose it is about what we planned for but it hits me where it hurts anyway. Good luck to everyone selling their homes!
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#383 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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Oooh ... I totally want to see Juno. NPR had the writers on a few weeks back and the interview was really interesting.

I might take dh to a movie for his birthday ... wonder if he'd be interested in seeing that?
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#384 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 01:02 AM
 
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Are there any women out there in their late 30s who went through a phase of anxiety and fear after knowing they are pregnant with a first child?









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Remember that our "Children are the World’s Hope"….enjoy a delicious gourmet meal while aiding them in the process, http://www.gourmetmealinitiative.com :
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#385 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 12:31 PM
 
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Another 7th gen sposie user here! We have a couple of BumGenius AIO's, but we can't use cloth at daycare (per the state, I think), so we'd have to have him in the sposies half the time, anyway. I LOOOOOVE 7th gen dipes, though. We've yet to have any leakage or blowouts, and I detested the chemical smell with regular commercial sposies.

The funny thing about them, though, is that the nurses and docs in the hospital always initially assume his dipe is soaked, as they're unaccustomed to seeing a beige dipe that's not filled with pee & poo. Heh.

Oh, and on being AP enough- I've posted in a few threads or started them to ask for help or opinions on something, and nearly every time I've mentioned I WOH, someone suggests I stay home. Thanks, but you're not helping, KWIM? (And this is coming from someone who *wants* to SAH with her kid for medical reasons.)

I have updates on my babe, and want to do personals. Maybe after our stupid deparmental lunch today. I'm taking unpaid leave all next week (no daycare), but I have to work on the 31st, even though NO ONE will be here. Found out Monday I have no child care that day, either, and DH can't take off (unless he's already given notice at his job, heh). I'm so tempted to bring the babe to the office, KWIM? So stupid that we're open.
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#386 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 01:02 PM
 
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PAK... real quick... do any of you have a hands-free pumping bra, if so do you like it and what kind should I get?

Going to the ped for a weight check, I'll update in a few
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#387 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 01:25 PM
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Yep - I just got the one they have at my local baby store - I think it's by Easy Expression.
Here it is: http://www.easyexpressionproducts.com/index.html
I love it - makes pumping sessions so much more pleasant, and it works really well.
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#388 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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Are there any women out there in their late 30s who went through a phase of anxiety and fear after knowing they are pregnant with a first child?

:
I know I did!!! I'm still having anxiety that I have my first baby at this age - it puts so much pressure for if we're going to do this again. I feel like we lost the luxury of waiting until she's older to decide. But, I am glad we waited, too.
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#389 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 01:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by preemiemamarach View Post

Oh, and on being AP enough- I've posted in a few threads or started them to ask for help or opinions on something, and nearly every time I've mentioned I WOH, someone suggests I stay home. Thanks, but you're not helping, KWIM? (And this is coming from someone who *wants* to SAH with her kid for medical reasons.)

I have updates on my babe, and want to do personals. Maybe after our stupid deparmental lunch today. I'm taking unpaid leave all next week (no daycare), but I have to work on the 31st, even though NO ONE will be here. Found out Monday I have no child care that day, either, and DH can't take off (unless he's already given notice at his job, heh). I'm so tempted to bring the babe to the office, KWIM? So stupid that we're open.
On diapers - yes, we've had blowouts, but I think I'd rather deal with a once every few days blow out than CDs personally. I think cloth are sooo cute, though! Happy with 7th gen otherwise.

I agree on the AP stuff here, but hey, I found you guys!!!

Rachel - if you're really the only one in, take LO with you. Who would even know? I'm taking DD in on Friday, my technical first day back - (the office shuts down from Christmas Eve to New Year's).

Okay - I'm having anxiety about going back to work... Like, can't sleep because I lay there and stare at her trying to soak her up before I have to go back... I really didn't think I'd be this torn about it!
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#390 of 528 Old 12-20-2007, 02:01 PM
 
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Hello ladies! Thought I would join your group, since I qualify.

My name is Christine, and I had my first TWO children at 36. I have b/g twins, born in May 2005. They are the best thing in the world, even in the throes of the terrible twos.

I'm really not the typical MDC "type". I WOH F/T, I tried to BF, but ended up only being able to pump, and only for 3 weeks, and a few other things, but I like the general vibe around here, and would love to get to know some of the more mature Mums.
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