In our 30s with Our First Babe - December - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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there's always a guy hanging out with a sign that says 'world created in 7 days. geophysicists go to hell!' I'll try to get a picture.
That's awesome.
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#62 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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Emily The LC said she has a beautiful latch & I'm putting her on properly. I'm just exasperated and almost ready to quit BFing. : Apparently I just have super-sensitive nips. I've been pumping on the lowest speed on my Pump In Style b/c it hurts to pump any faster, and even pumping is hurting my nips and leaving a ring of damage on my nip no matter what size flange I use.

So I went back to the ped today since DD has been screaming anytime she's not asleep for 2 weeks now. She's gaining well just over 6 oz a week to 9 lbs 14 oz at 23 days old. The doc said she has reflux or colic. She just recently started spitting up but not much, so I don't see how it's reflux. The doc wants me to switch DD to soy formula & cut all dairy out of my diet but insinuated that I should consider stopping BFing since it's making me crazy. I'm just not sure what's best for DD at this point. BFing is obviously upsetting me and preventing me from fully enjoying DD, but I know it's good for her. Can I just say soy formula stinks to high heaven too? I also worry about the phytoestrogens. Soy formula was the only thing that worked for me as a baby though. Ugh. I've been crying off & on all day b/c I just don't know what to do. Everyone says BFing gets better and easier but it's only getting worse for me. BFing even hurts with nipple shields now. Bottles are a PITA too. I feel so lost... I don't know what's best right now.
I'm so sorry it's so hard... I had a ton of really hard bfing challenges at the beginning (and ongoing, but better now). Do you maybe have thrush in your nipples? It's extremely painful and would explain the pain in spite of a good latch. Besides that - some LCs are better than others... You may also have Raynaud's. I have/had both and they both HURT! You don't necessarily see the blanching either - I didn't until I started looking when it hurt when I wasn't bfing... It's so, so hard. We were so close to formula, but the stats about 50% of babies with milk allergies also having soy allergies scared me into fighting it out, but NO judgement whatever you decide... I've so been there and it is so hard - there's no right answer either... I agree with Major - do have her checked for tongue tie... I have a good friend who quit bfing after 4 months with nipple shields because her ds was tongue tied. The docs knew and didn't fix it until he was 8 mos and had issues with solids! Um, don't they need to eat as infants too?! Also, DD used to do this awful flicking with her tongue - when you pull babe's bottom lip away, can you see her tongue? It should be out almost as far as her lip. If not, her tongue is in the wrong position. DD isn't tongue tied, but a pacifier actually helped get her tongue out - she'd have it humped up against the nipple and it would flick in a way that was really painful. The paci pushed it down when she sucks and so she actually stopped doing the flicking.

LO may have reflux even though she's not spitting up much. DD doesn't spit up a lot, but she definitely has reflux. Frequent hiccups, throat clearing, sudden crying and arching their backs... I can hear DDs reflux gurgle in her throat before she cries. We dropped milk, but are still searching for the real cause since she still has mucous in her poop and maybe 2 our of 5 are really yellow. Sucks.
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#63 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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Welcome Franny and Ldsmom!

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Bummer I missed being able to be in this thread by 8 months! I was literly the oldest 1st time mom at my church. I have gotten insulted before for not getting married and having children sooner(my husband was 37 with our 1st ).
I won't complain.... I still can't decide if the gift from my uncle with the "I was worth the wait" onsie and hat were cute or insulting. Knowing him, insulting in a way that he thought was funny! DH and I have been married 10 years, so people stopped asking when kids were coming.
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#64 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 05:32 PM
 
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I don't have time at the moment to catch up on the December posts (Maya's taking crappy naps this week, 45 minutes at a time, ugh! I can't get anything done!).

Daycare update: We met with a wonderful woman who has been watching kids in her home for 20 years. I love her. Problem is that she might be taking her granddaughter next month if her DIL goes back to work. She wouldn't want to have two babies so close in age along with the other kids she watches. Totally understandable. So we either risk it and just go with her now and hope it works out, or decide on another option.

We're interviewing a few women who could come to our home, one with a 6-month old daughter. We'll see what comes of that. Still no return date yet.

Emily, how's it going? How is Benjamin doing at daycare???

Maya is in a "don't put me down!!" phase. It's really frustrating. She even fusses sometimes when she's worn, it's like she just wants to be HELD, not worn. And the 45-minute naps are killing me. I barely have enough time to re-group during her naps before she's up again. And because her naps are so short she's fussing all the time. Thank god she at least sleeps pretty well at night, or I'd be dying.

I'm wondering if any other moms have clingy babies in daycare or with sitters? How do your care providers deal with a baby who wants to be held all the time?

Ok, I'm going to attempt to catch up now... even though Maya should be up any second.
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#65 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 05:55 PM
 
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Ok, caught up! We're up to an hour and 15 minutes of the nap here, ladies! WOOHOO!

Dee, so sorry you have to supplement, and that you're hurting even while pumping. You do what you have to do sweetie... don't feel guilty at all!

Labor pain: I announced to my husband before we even left for the hospital that I was getting the epidural.

Elizabeth, so sorry for the mastitis! Gosh, you just can't catch a break, can you??

CJ, how goes the nanny search?

Vit D: our ped didn't say anything about it, and I'd rather not give her vitamins anyway.

Baths: omg, Maya splashes around with the most serious look on her face! We took the baby sling out of the tub last week or so because she enjoys the bath so much, we just have to keep a hand on her because she slides around in there. We also leave her in as long as we can, adding hot water as needed to keep it warm enough.

Lane, glad Ada's eyes are ok!

Welcome Frannyo!

Mt. Saint Butthole!
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#66 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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Wow Becky - awesome nap! I put this one in the Moby wrap at like 10:20 and she's still out!!! I'm so amazed - I should have gotten so much more done, but I didn't expect a good nap at all. She also slept pretty decently last night, even though she was up every 3 hours. Now if I start paying bills or something she'll wake up, so I just keep putting it off.

Thanks for the hug... No, we can't seem to catch a break. I keep reminding myself that we're so lucky that it's me and not her!
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#67 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 06:14 PM
 
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Pie, yes I remember being horrified at your story about the health official coming to visit you to check for abuse. It was the first thing I thought of when this lady came in to talk to me. I was nice to her even though I didn't want to be because I figured if I told her to get the hell out and stop patronizing me she'd think I was really wacked. But the next time she stopped by (an hour later) baby was sleeping on my chest, I had a big grin, and DH met her at the door to tell her all was well. HA.

Dee...

CJ OMG I'd love a picture of the guy with the sign! Too funny!

I just had a phone session with my therapist, man she's awesome. She helped me process the birth. We looked at when the pain was worst, which was after he flipped and contractions spaced out, and she said she thinks it was my body trying to alert me that something was wrong and get me to the hospital, rather than me being weak and giving up. Once we made the decision to move to the hospital the ctx's were no big deal (except when we hit potholes in the road), I just breathed through them... even turned down the epidural at first and said I'd wait. !!!! So I'm starting to see it much differently... that maybe I could do natural labor again someday if it went the way it was supposed to. Before he flipped I was doing ok. I feel much better! I also think some of my more intense anxiety was a reaction to the percoset. Tylenol 3 is working much better for me... still some extra adrenaline, but in proportion to the huge change in my life.

OMG I just found out that there are two openings in my first choice orchestra but the audition is during a busy work week at the end of February. I'm trying to figure out if there's ANY way I can do it. I wasn't going to try to take auditions again til fall, because I need time to prepare (next summer I'm off for 3 months) and I don't want to be EBF-ing while trying to travel... I don't know...
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#68 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 07:21 PM
 
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Baby seems to be waking so not much time...

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Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
Even though I had a sucky painful birth, my hate for the hospital (and I was at the "good" hospital, the one that supports b'feeding and natural childbirth!) is so strong that I think any subsequent births will be attempted at home.
I'm glad you wrote this. I've been thinking about this a lot as we've all shared more about our labors. Mine hurt -- duh -- but everything else about being at home and being cared for my midwives was wonderful. I had all the attention I could need. For me, the lack of pain meds for those five or six crazy hours was worth it (because wow, did I get a ton of endorphins immediately after birth was over). I'm sad that so much of the difficulty some of you have had after birth sounds like it could have been prevented with more attentive caregivers.

Dee -- hugs. I'm so sorry it's so rough. FWIW, a friend here had enormous issues with breastfeeding that made her miserable for 6 weeks. When she finally had to throw in the towel, she was immediately a much happier person, and her son is adorable and attached and happily goes with her to work and wherever. That said, I admire you and think you've been doing a good thing with giving it a real try. (She did advise checking out WIC if one ever needs formula, which is apparently v. expensive.)

Kid went back to sleep for the moment. Good. She was VERY FUSSY earlier. Then our water got turned off (somehow the bills haven't been coming here?). The women who came to do it felt so bad: I was standing outside in my sock feet going, I have a baby asleep in there! Can I pay you right now and you turn it back on? She was like, I'm sorry, no! but you can pay over the phone with the debit card! Then I'll come back immediately as soon as I get the call! And she did. It's back on. No worries.

Yeah, Ada's eyes. Apparently if they "react symmetrically to light" they're okay (hers do). But in certain light, she has one enormous pupil. It's cool but somewhat unnerving, like her eyes are different colors.

ACP -- wow, good catch. That's my nightmare.

Becky, I hope the woman works out.

Hi, FrannyO! Franny was a name I wanted to call the kid.

Julia, that baby language thing sounds intriguing. I bet it would have been useful. You sort of figure it out over time, but there are still days (today) where the DH goes angrily, She's hungry, she wants you to nurse her! and I'm like, I promise you that is not what she's saying.

Okay, that's my cue.
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#69 of 528 Old 12-04-2007, 09:58 PM
 
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OMG I just found out that there are two openings in my first choice orchestra but the audition is during a busy work week at the end of February. I'm trying to figure out if there's ANY way I can do it. I wasn't going to try to take auditions again til fall, because I need time to prepare (next summer I'm off for 3 months) and I don't want to be EBF-ing while trying to travel... I don't know...
by travel do u mean 4 audition or with new gig? if just the former i say GO 4 IT!
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#70 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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SCIENCE GEEKS: any thoughts on this? http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=804584
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#71 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 01:07 AM
 
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SCIENCE GEEKS
I resemble that remark :

ideas posted!
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#72 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I resemble that remark :

ideas posted!
DITTO!
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#73 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 03:17 PM
 
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by travel do u mean 4 audition or with new gig? if just the former i say GO 4 IT!
Just for the audition... I have three months to stock up on lots of frozen breastmilk. I've emailed to find out how late I could play and if it works that I only have to be away for 2 days, I'm gonna try.

I should say it's ONE of my first-choice orchestras... my actual first choice has an opening but they haven't scheduled an audition yet. They need to hire a new music director first. But it's right across the hall from where I work now I wouldn't have to move. Still, it's never to soon to start auditioning again... I'm a little out of practice so I should just start doing it.
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#74 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 04:49 PM
 
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today dd sat up unassisted!! repeated it 4 times. i had a roomful of witnesses at bfing support group.

in almost as big of a milestone for a family of booklovers, the day before yesterday, she was turning caedboard pages in "brown bear, brown bear what do you see?"
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#75 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 05:14 PM
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today dd sat up unassisted!! repeated it 4 times. i had a roomful of witnesses at bfing support group.

in almost as big of a milestone for a family of booklovers, the day before yesterday, she was turning caedboard pages in "brown bear, brown bear what do you see?"
Wow, that's great! Willa was also an early sitter, at just over 4 months, but sounds like you've got a super early sitter on your hands. My guess is you'll have a strong, energetic DD trying hard to move over the coming months.
I LOVE the sitting. Both because it makes Willa so happy, and because it makes it so much easier for her to entertain herself - much nicer than just lying on her back staring at the ceiling. Of course, these days she's usually pretty quickly lunging into an all-fours position and trying as hard as she can to crawl, and getting increasingly frustrated when it doesn't all go as she'd like.

Funnily enough, "Brown bear, Brown bear" is also one of Willa's favorite books (and the first one I got her to turn the pages on). Love it. I think it's only surpassed by "Snuggle Puppy" at this point.
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#76 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 05:20 PM
 
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Cool, Pie! I didn't know they sat up so early. When do they start crawling? I need to know how long we have til we need to install baby gates!
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#77 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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julia, i think the average for crawling is 8 mos. of course for sitting it is 6 mos so take it with a lump of salt!

amanda, we too love "snuggle puppy"!! do you have it on the "philadelphia chickens" cd sung by eric stoltz? i recommend!!
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#78 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 05:28 PM
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amanda, we too love "snuggle puppy"!! do you have it on the "philadelphia chickens" cd sung by eric stoltz? i recommend!!
No, I'll check it out! Probably a good idea, since at this point I just sing it in my own not-so-tuneful made-up tune..... singing isn't really my strong suit, but Willa doesn't seem to care
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#79 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 05:38 PM
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Cool, Pie! I didn't know they sat up so early. When do they start crawling? I need to know how long we have til we need to install baby gates!
As Pie said, I think it's impossible to know! These things seem to vary SO much. Most of my friends' kids crawled around 9 or 10 months. A lot of kids crawl around 8 months. But Willa's 5 1/2 months and while she's not strictly "crawling" yet, she's been getting up on all fours and rocking and rocking and lunging herself forward and backward for several weeks now. Between that and rolling, she can cover the length of a room pretty quickly. I figured I had a long time before we had to start thinking about baby gates, but now I think I'm flirting with an emergency trip to the baby store by not having bought one yet for the top of our stairs. And we haven't even begun to think about other childproofing measures yet. Oye....
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#80 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 06:23 PM
 
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Grace - do the audition! How exciting.

I'm DREADING going back to work - I'm now trying to stretch the days out because they go by so fast... How will I leave her?!

Congrats on the milestones Pie! DD just started grabbing things this week - one thing on Monday and several things yesterday. Woohoo! I can't wait for her to be able to hold her toys! I wonder sometimes if I'm understimulating her by not playing with toys constantly - mostly I wear her or just talk to her and sit with her. Guess you never stop second guessing yourself with parenting, huh? She's in her bouncy seat at least once a day for a while and on he playmat usually once a day (with toys).

So I'm on the only belated babyproofer? We have a REALLY dangerous TV stand for a baby. A very cool, old metal rack that DH found behind a building once. Very industrial. Large TV sits on it and it sits on a wooden furniture dolly with casters. Um, think we need to change that before she's mobile!!!
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#81 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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I'm DREADING going back to work - I'm now trying to stretch the days out because they go by so fast... How will I leave her?!
: I don't know either... I want to do the audition but it depends on when they let me play, and how long I'll have to be gone. How can I leave my baby for even a single rehearsal much less two or three days!! Guess it's back to the real world eventually, but in the meantime I'm trying to enjoy him all I can. And yes, the days do go by so fast... particularly when it takes 14 hours in bed to get 7 hours of sleep
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#82 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 06:52 PM
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I dreaded going back to work too (I took 4 1/2 months of maternity leave), and when I did go back, the first couple weeks were really rough. It's still hard, but honestly, I got to a point where I knew myself enough that I recognized I also wouldn't be happy as a SAHM, and I now somewhat enjoy having the ability to exercise another part of my brain most days. I'm lucky in that since I'm often working from home (though I'll also have to travel for work soon, and I'm dreading it!) I get to see DD a fair amount during the day, but for the most part I'm secluded in my office working. I think some mothers are very different, and no one really knows how they'll feel about working vs staying at home fulltime (not that it's always a matter of choice) until they're actually in the situation. But I've reconciled myself to working by making the most of the time I DO have with DD, and telling myself that the quality, rather than just the quantity, of the time matters a lot. I'm worried that if I didn't have another outlet for my energies I'd start to resent DD instead of treasuring every minute I'm with her.
Now, at some point I *would* love the option to go part-time...

Is it just me, or does it seem like there are more working mamas on this thread than in most of the Life with a Babe threads? Is it something about having babies later in life that makes us more inclined to keep with a career? Most of my friends with babies (also in their 30s) have continued to work at least part-time as well....
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#83 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 07:58 PM
 
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#84 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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I'm DREADING going back to work - I'm now trying to stretch the days out because they go by so fast... How will I leave her?!

So I'm on the only belated babyproofer?
same here on both counts. dd was grabbing at the computer cords today. oy.
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#85 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 08:15 PM
 
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Grace-DD was constantly gassy and painful at first. We used Mylicon and Gripe Water - the GW helped us more, but whatever works. We used the organic one and were happy with it. We still use Mylicon some at night since she tends to get gassy very early in the morning...

Acp - I wonder if part of why a lot of us waited until our 30s was career related, so we want to keep that up? If I'd had a baby when I wasn't very established maybe I'd be more inclined to stay home. Honestly, I'd go nuts home with a baby. I LOVE my job and can't imagine giving that up either... I worked really, really hard to be where I am in my career and I will just have to make both work. That said, it will be hard to go back and I don't want to!
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#86 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 08:21 PM
 
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julia, never used gripe water, sorry. recommended dunstan's baby language thing to my girlfriend due in jan (also in dc) -- do you have a link?
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#87 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 08:29 PM
 
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so last night dd grabbed couscous in carrot miso sauce off of dh's plate and tried to pout it in her mouth. i instinctively removed it from her hand. i wasn't really thinking but i guess my gut said only breastmilk. did i do bad?
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#88 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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No solids until 6 months... I'm going to stick with that. The NP we've been seeing for lactation stuff said that the lining of their intestines isn't fully formed until then, so they are much more likely to develop allergies before then. It can also mess up the intestinal flora, which takes a long time to re-regulate if it's disturbed. I think you did good!
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#89 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 09:38 PM
 
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Pie...

http://www.dunstanbaby.com/

It looks like it's come down in price... I remember paying almost $70 when it first came out, now it's $40. Well worth it at any price.
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#90 of 528 Old 12-05-2007, 09:40 PM
 
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Can't do the audition : It takes place over 5 days and I can't be gone that long, both from baby and from work. Guess I shouldn't push it, and will stay with my original plan of taking my first audition in the fall. Wherever it is... Mustn't be impatient with the career, I just had a baby...
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