Thoughts on the "lovey"? - Mothering Forums
Life With a Baby > Thoughts on the "lovey"?
jackson's mama's Avatar jackson's mama 05:46 AM 08-16-2003
We received a cute little "security blanket" at my baby shower, it looks like a little piece of fleece blanket with a bear head and arms sewn to the middle. Thought it was cute, set it aside.

One day while trying to get creative about how to keep the pacifier in ds's mouth while he drifted off the sleep, I propped it up with the "blankie bear". DS put his arm around the bear, and looked SO CUTE! *AND* the pacifier stayed in .

Fast forward to now, and he likes to sleep with it. Doesn't *need* it, but settles down a bit faster when I put it under his arm for naps.

I'm not sure what I think about him getting attached to this little "blankie bear". I had a teddy bear that I was very attached to as a child, and I have nothing but positive, warm-fuzzy-type memories about this bear. DS is very attached to mommy and daddy too, so I don't worry about us being "replaced" by it. I'd just like to hear some different viewpoints on the use of a "lovey" (I think Brazelton calls it that) for sleep comfort. Thanks!

Anmarie's Avatar Anmarie 10:02 AM 08-16-2003
I think lovies are a godsend. DD (2 1/2) has a bear she got for her first birthday that MUST sleep with her every night. She has a small blankie too, but its "Bear's Blankie" not hers, lol. She tucks him in next to her and strokes his ear when going to sleep. Bear doesn't usually leave the house with us, unless we're going somewhere where she may feel insecure (ped's office, etc).
hank's mama's Avatar hank's mama 12:08 PM 08-16-2003
I am Hank's only "lovey" and kind of wish he would become attached to one of the myriad of lovey-type items we have around here. I can't leave him for very long b/c he requires me and the boob for almost all naps (except in the car or stroller).

I wouldn't worry about it, he's firmly attached to you so the lovey isn't a substitue, its just and enhancer .
mamabeth's Avatar mamabeth 02:06 PM 08-16-2003
We give 7.5 month old dd a bear in the car, and it cuts down on the wailing that happens (in the car, I mean!)
It helps that its nose looks like a boob: I think loveys are a good thing, at least in some situations.
Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 01:03 AM 08-18-2003
I think it's okay myself. I also don't like it when people make a big deal of kids who suck their thumbs. It's cute I think.

That said, dh started giving ds one of dd's old stuffed animals. It's the John Lennon elephant in pink and you pull it's tail and it plays music. Too bad it's pink.

Oh, I ordered a 10" Bubble Baby to see how ds likes it. I think they're cute!
jackson's mama's Avatar jackson's mama 02:25 AM 08-18-2003
Great, it sounds like I'm not doing anything anti-AP in giving him this cute little guy to cuddle up with .

I think I'm going to limit its use to sleep only so that he's not wanting to drag it everywhere with us. Of course, I probably have less control over that than I think but here's hoping.

Thanks for the replies, mamas.
veganmamma's Avatar veganmamma 07:23 AM 08-18-2003
We got one of those that was personalized with dd's name and I was kind of irritated, ya know? But when dd was a nb and she hated the carseat, she would settle down if I laid the blanket over her and faced the bear towards her. She would stare at his face and I could drive home. Now it buried in my trunk and she probably doesn't remember, but I'm glad we had it. I really think it's not the lovey but the ways the lovey is used, kwim? It sounds like youre a *responsible* lovey user.
Sofiamomma's Avatar Sofiamomma 12:55 PM 08-18-2003
I like loveys. I agree that they enhance the attachment to momma. My first didn't really have one, but she liked her binky for going to sleep and tolerating the car. She had an Elmo doll for a bit when she was a toddler that she particularly liked and he got more worn out than any other toy, but I wouldn't call him a lovey. Dd2, I noticed, seemed very tactile and didn't nurse to sleep or for comfort. She sometimes likes to be held and/or rocked when falling asleep, but other times she just wants her space, esp. if it's hot, and she would fiddle with something, usu. a burp rag while drifting off. I bought her one of those "L'il Clutch" blankets that Gerber makes. It's a foot square and has fleece on one side and a silky material on the other. She loves it! She pulls it over her face and fiddles with the edges while she goes to sleep. I like attachment parenting and all, but I am secretly relieved to have a baby that likes to put herself to sleep! Ssshhh, don't tell. . .

My main concern is that she gets so attached to it that at some point in the future we will have major difficulty if it gets left behind or gets packed in the wrong bag (i.e. *not* in the carry-on!). I really don't think that will happen, though, because she can also fall asleep without it, it just helps her settle faster. Plus, I bought a second one! heh heh Seriously, though, I think it is like anything else, used judiciously, and not as substitute for mommy, they are okay.
jackson's mama's Avatar jackson's mama 03:19 PM 08-18-2003
busybusymomma, those bubble babies would make perfect loveys. Just the right size, and really cute!

Lauren, its funny you mention that you were annoyed, I think I was a bit annoyed when I received it too.
It sounds like youre a *responsible* lovey user.

Sofiamomma, Jackson is the same way. He won't nurse for comfort, and usually puts himself to sleep. I bought a second blankie bear too (thank goodness for the "Martha Stewart Baby" tag so I could figure out where to get more!).
Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 06:44 PM 08-18-2003
The bubble babies came today and they're adorable! I got a lavendar velour one for dd so she wouldn't be jealous and a hemp/cotton fleece one for ds. He seems to like it, but he is still learning to control his hands- poor guy! He's not quite four months but getting pretty good at getting the poor bubble baby's head in his mouth! :LOL

Like Laura said, it's different when it's used responsibly. We own an exersaucer, that's not a bad thing IMO when used responsibly. Ds is usually only in it when I need to cook dinner or go potty and dd likes to entertain him while he's in it.

I always said an extra arm or two should grow out of our sides when we give birth and when the babes leave the nest, the set of arms we grew when we birthed them would fall off! :
avakitty's Avatar avakitty 03:38 PM 08-20-2003
busybusymomma, where did you get your 'bubble baby'? I am looking for a nice lovey for ds who is just over 3 months.
Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 05:08 PM 08-20-2003

I got ours from They're made by the wahm at There's also one bubble baby left at

I bought a lavender velour one for dd and a hemp fleece one for ds. He seems to like it, so if he gets attached to it I'll have to order a spare. So far though, his two favorite loveys are attached to my chest! :LOL
Aaudreysmom's Avatar Aaudreysmom 05:22 PM 08-20-2003
I think it is fine to have a lovey. My dd got a baboon as a gift when she was 7mo. Shortly after she fell in love and HAD to have it for all naps and bedtime. Now she is 15mo and has started using other stuffed toys as her lovies, she is not so attached to the baboon now but still likes to have something to fall asleep with. She takes the tail or the leg of the animal an rubs it back and forth until she is asleep. If she does not have the lovey she will "rub" the air.
Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 05:30 PM 08-20-2003
bubble babies here too: