First babe in our 30s February thread - Page 17 - Mothering Forums
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#481 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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CJ,
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#482 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I lost my Dad 8 years ago CJ, so I totally understand. You're right now with Aidan sometimes I get so sad to think that he's never going to know my Dad. And my Dad would have made a GREAT Grandpa because he was a great Dad... unlike Grandma... my Dad doesn't get to see that things have turned out sooo good for me. I would love to get my Dad's opinion of DH. I don't think you ever get over someone dying no matter how much time passes. I hate the pressure toseem okay with having a hole in your heart.

On birthing... I also didn't dilate even though I had hard contractions all through the night, I didn't get beyond 3-4 cm. I had to push for 2 hours and the midwives all thought I was a great pusher! Does two hours sound good to you??? UGH. But I think if I had know how long it was during the process or if they had been less encouraging I might have not made it.
Btw this is all WITHOUT any pain meds... NL is great that way. I did get fake oxytocin (pectin or something like that right?) to make my contractions work better. I was in a trance I think through the last part of my labor. Afterwards I really wondered what kind of masocist has more than one kid.
Okay now I'm starting to understand having more than one. In fact I find myself fantasizing about conquering birth and having it the way I wanted to, at home in my birth pool.
Emily - how does your midwife know that it won't happen the second time?
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#483 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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CJ and Natalia - I'm sorry about your dads. I am truly feeling so blessed to have my dad here and that he's so great with Isabella.

So, the daycare sucked - they do their own version of CIO. LOVING the nanny share idea now... Not ideal maybe, but pretty darn good in comparison! Oh, and two of the workers were coughing - they better be smokers!

Labor - well apparently it's a little TOO easy for me to give birth. Happened early and quickly. Well, I had a ton of pitocin. But, mayb 18 hours total from my water breaking and no more than 15 minutes of pushing. But (DO NOT READ MOMMAS TO BE) the OB tore me when DD's heart rate really flipped out. No time even for a C-section. They told me that she needed to come out NOW and when you hear that, you are a very effective pusher. I don't know how my eyeballs stayed in my head with how hard I pushed. I dialated quickly, too. From 6-10 (no cervix, just head) in less than 2 hours... Again - with a heavy helping of pitocin. I had an epidural at 6 cm too.
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#484 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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What's pectin then? I'm blaming sleep depriv for making me sound like I had to go make some jam.
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#485 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's a chemical that is in fruit. They use it to get stuff like jam to gel up.

I don't think it would be helpful with labor, but you never know!
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#486 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:48 PM
 
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What's pectin then? I'm blaming sleep depriv for making me sound like I had to go make some jam.
pectin...isn't that some thing to do with apples? Maybe an enzyme or something? I am pretty sure you got Pitocin

Oh and honestly, my midwife can't really promise me it wont happen again, but her thinking is that now that the scar tissue (or whatever it was) has been broken up and my cervix knows what to do, it (my cervix) won't have a problem dilating next time (ha ha ha, I remember specifically and clearly telling everyone that there would never ever be a next time. Ever. I even pick up DHs hand, held it, looked into his eyes and said, "I am so sorry, but I can never ever go through this again. This baby will be an only child." I meant every word too. Strangely, I now feel like I COULD do it again. Motherhood makes you crazy).
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#487 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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Ack, forgot....

CJ

Elizabeth: Sorry to hear that daycare was disappointing. Again, I am glad that you had a choice (and that at least now you feel happier about the nanny situation).
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#488 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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(DO NOT READ MOMMAS TO BE) the OB tore me when DD's heart rate really flipped out. No time even for a C-section. They told me that she needed to come out NOW and when you hear that, you are a very effective pusher. I don't know how my eyeballs stayed in my head with how hard I pushed. I dialated quickly, too. From 6-10 (no cervix, just head) in less than 2 hours... Again - with a heavy helping of pitocin. I had an epidural at 6 cm too.
Similar to what happened with me. Actually, things I remember saying during the 2.5 hours of pushing were that I would NOT PUSH again unless someone got me toast with peanut butter and ice chips. I got the ice chips only, pushing continued. I also at one point looked at Joe and said that I was sorry but that she was going to have to stay where she was because I could.not.push.anymore. and that I would learn to walk with her head where it was. When the midwives said they were going to have to cut me to get her out becuase her heart rate was going scary low boy did I push.
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#489 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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I'm generally ok with february, but this year early march is bringing a sad anniversary of my dad's death. It was 15 years ago. long time. But I've noticed that certain emotions are resurfacing now that I'm a mom. I'm so sad that he didn't get to meet his grand-daughter or my dh. sorry, downer.
And I am sorry about your papa, CJ. That would be very sad to me as well.
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#490 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 09:41 PM
 
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thanks y'all for the kind thoughts.

So I also got the 'you HAVE to have another baby b/c next time it will be so much easier' line from my midwife literally as Ella was crowning. Wonder if it's true...
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#491 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 10:19 PM
 
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CJ

I am actually copying and pasting this from an email I sent to friends with a quick description of my labor. This damn carpal tunnel is still hanging around and is pretty bad tonight.

I went in for an induction (starting with just Cervidil and then Pitocin on Friday) on Thursday evening and after 18 hours of intense back labor, delivered the baby via c-section Friday night at 5:59pm. I ended up stalling at 5cm for about 8 hours and the back pain was really unbearable. After the section, the dr. found out that the baby had caused some slight trauma to my bladder (which would explain much of the back pain and why they weren’t able to get urine from me for most of those 18 hours). The urine (with blood) ended up gushing out right after delivery, which worried all the docs, so they had to run some tests to make sure my bladder had not ruptured. Anyway, everything turned out fine. I also had my typical bad reaction to all the anesthesia (major blood pressure drop twice and horrible nausea). I didn’t even hold the baby until Sunday—I was just too drugged and had tremors from the anesthesia.

I ended up having an epidural because the back pain was constant (I think the baby was face up and some of that pain was kidney pain because of pressure on my bladder) and then the regular contractions came in waves on top of that. That's when my blood pressure dropped quickly and I started to pass out. The baby's HR never dropped, thank goodness.

I do want to say that the L&D staff at my hospital were great. They were very supportive and never pressured me to do anything. They didn't even mention epidural to me--I brought it up after about 10 hours of that back pain. My OB was also very supportive and knew that I was very unhappy about the c-section. When she told me that she thought it was best, she left me alone for a while to cry and make my decision.

I wish I could say the same about the maternity nurses. I was on the maternity floor 4 days and had several nurses. Only one of them was nice at all. The rest made me feel like an idiot.

Oh, and the lactation consultants were great. Without them, I would have lost my mind. They stopped by every day to see how I was doing and offer help and advice. Wonderful people.

The pediatricians were very good too. They had a cardiologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia come out to listen to Georgia's heartbeat and run a few tests. She has a slight heart murmur, but her EKG came out great, so they think she is just having a slow transition--I guess this is something common in bigger babies? After the tests, no one seemed especially worried, so I am keeping calm about that. I have a slight heart murmur myself, and it has never affected my quality of life.

So, I am not sure that my age had an effect on my labor. I think my allergy to anesthesia was my downfall.

librarian mommy (34) to DD (2/08), expecting a BOY in early spring 2011
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#492 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 10:31 PM
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CJ,
I can't imagine losing my father, and I am not at all surprised that having a baby makes all those strong emotions resurface all over again.

Aimee and Georgia: Welcome! Sounds like a really tough labor.
And I agree with Natalia that both of the new Feb babes are so beautiful, and look so much older than newborns already! And they're both BIG. I know you mamas probably didn't appreciate that during labor, but I have to say, I liked having a bigger babe (not that Willa was anywhere close to as big as your babes - she was 8 lbs 9 oz). She just seemed so much less fragile than most newborns I'd seen, never had a floppy head, was so strong, and I never felt as nervous with her in those first few days as I think I might have otherwise. She also slept better earlier (not that that lasted).

My midwife also told me that "next time will be much easier." My labor, in the end, was actually pretty good - it was the natural birth I wanted, and I can't really complain. It just was a lot longer and harder than I'd expected, mostly because Willa was posterior facing (face up, I guess), so it was all back labor, and she just wasn't moving, and I wasn't dilating (it was SO discouraging to go through intense, near-continuous, uber-painful contractions, be sure I was in transition, and finally have my midwife check and I was still only at 6 cm). There was a lump on my back for a long time where her elbow or something was poking out - it was only when we finally got her turned through the labor tub and different positions my midwife had me use that things finally started to really progress. It was about 26 hours total from when my water broke, and I never fully dilated - once she seemed to have shifted position and I had dilated to 9 cm, my midwife just had me start pushing. At that point it was actually fairly quick, and a relief to be able to do something.
So, on the whole, not that bad a labor - but I am still hoping my midwife is right when she tells me next time will be much easier!

Elizabeth: Sorry about the daycare. Hopefully this at least makes the decision an easier one...
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#493 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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CJ I know how you feel. I lost my Mom just over 8 years ago also. May is the hard month for me with Mother's day, my birthday, my parents anniversary, and my Mom's bday. Take it easy on yourself and allow the tears to fall when you need to.

Aimee:
How are you healing from the C/S? I think i'm doing ok, but still on pain meds with some incision pain. I go back to the doc on Monday to get the staples out and have the incision checked. The hardest part for me is getting up out of bed (going from laying down to sitting up) well that and trying to hold myself while I laugh...that hurts and then I can't stop laughing.

I think my breastfeeding is going ok. I worry that she isn't getting enough. It seems she doesn't eat much before she falls asleep at the breast. We also have issues with getting a good latch on my left side. We both get frustrated with it, i'm thinking the nipple is a little more flat on that side.

I'm still in shock that i'm now a parent. This little girl is actually mine?! How did that happen!
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#494 of 500 Old 02-29-2008, 11:24 PM
 
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I think my breastfeeding is going ok. I worry that she isn't getting enough. It seems she doesn't eat much before she falls asleep at the breast. We also have issues with getting a good latch on my left side. We both get frustrated with it, i'm thinking the nipple is a little more flat on that side.

I'm still in shock that i'm now a parent. This little girl is actually mine?! How did that happen!
Judy I have the same problem with my right side, the nipple is a totally different shape. Ave nurses mostly on the left side and I pump the other side, if she's not fussy she'll nurse on that side too. I worry that she doesn't get enough from only one side but she's definitely gaining enough so I guess we'll keep it this way for now. The result for me is a B cup on one side and a D on the other. Lucky it's winter so nobody can really tell. Plus a breast pad on the B side helps.
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#495 of 500 Old 03-01-2008, 01:13 AM
 
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CJ... Anniversaries are always hard. Take good care of yourself right now.

Big babies sleep better, supposedly. That's what I was told. (Ollie was 9 pounds and sleeps through the night, starting at 5 weeks, with the occasional exception)

Interesting Judy and Aimee both ended up with Csections. Sory about that but glad everyone's ok. I had one too, oh well! I was on pain meds for a couple weeks but switched from percoset to tylenol 3 after a week cuz I was sick of feeling so drugged out. You can't sleep that stuff off with a new baby! Now, 3 months later, I'm entering a new fun phase of healing... my incision itches but it's numb to the touch so scratching is ineffective. VERY frustrating. (But at least it's not constant.)

I don't know if what went wrong with labor had to do with my age... I think it was just one of those random things. Labor was progressing quite quickly actually, til Ollie got a little confused about direction... that is, if we're right that he was head down when labor started. I'm starting to wonder if he was breech the whole time, which is noone's fault really.

For a long time I was thinking in my mind, that's it, elective C-section next time, why go through that again, but I also feel like I want to "conquer birth" (is it Natalia who said that?) and try again. I'm torn between never wanting to feel that pain again, and wanting to have a baby the "right way". Weird, how we hold on to those ideals of the "perfect birth".
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#496 of 500 Old 03-01-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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Elizabeth- sorry to hear about the daycare. Our home daycare was essentially a nanny-share, and when she only had 2 other kids, I felt really comfortable with her ability to respond to L's needs quickly. VA allows in-home DCP's to have 5 kids at a time, which happened right before we left- I was less comfy at that point, especially because 4 of the 5 were mobile.

CJ and Natalia
, I am also sorry about your fathers.

Labor- I'm not a good example, but the worst things about my labor were (a) it was too early, and (b) my cervix had to be manually dilated. I had cervial cancer 15 years ago or so, and 2 surgeries for it, so it was covered in scar tissue. I effaced almost completely by 26 weeks (and was in an irregular labor pattern from then until I delivered at 33 weeks), but only naturally dilated to a 3 or so after my water broke.

Not advocating it for people with normal, uncomplicated pregnancies (of course), but I had a very interventional labor and *asked* for a c-section; I'd had hip surgery 6 weeks before getting pregnant, and my ortho was afraid my hip would dislocate during a vaginal delivery (apparently this has happened to women who have this type of procedure close to childbirth). I got an epi pretty early because of spinal anomalies (yes, I'm an orthopedic wreck), but it didn't do much because scar tissue blocked it from numbing my right side. My OB convinced me to try a vaginal delivery because L was so early and probably small. He had some late decels just before and during pushing, and it turned out the cord was wrapped around his neck tightly- twice. Had he been a bigger babe, I probably would have ended up in an emeregency c-section. DH's job during pushing was to hold my bad leg stationary so it did NOT get pulled back and out of the socket. Elizabeth, my eyes also felt like they were going to shoot out of my skull when I pushed! My water broke at 6 pm, and L was born at 5:55. I think I only had to push 4 times? I got pitocin at 4:30 and went from 4 cm to 10 in an hour. Ouch. My problem with the prospect of subsequent pregnancies is that I have a lot of scar tissue from endometriosis as well. I can feel, when I get my period, where some has grown back since I had L. That's why I had contractions for so long (only my scarred cervix prevented me from having him at 26 weeks). *IF* we ever have another (which we aren't planning), I will need a cerclage in the 1st trimester, and may need to be on bedrest for most of the pregnancy. Right- with a little one in the house this time. I am terrified of a much earlier babe if we attempt this again. I was told I couldn't conceive naturally, (TRIGGER ALERT) lost a twin early in the 2nd trimester, and was told until around 24 weeks that I probably didn't have a viable pregnancy. I am not a religious person, but L seems like a miracle to me...don't know if I want to chance it again.

Had L's EI evaluation yesterday- he qualifies for PT. Will do a separate post.

Saw a bobcat sitting on our deck this AM, looking in our front door. Ack!
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#497 of 500 Old 03-01-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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OK, so EI came out yesterday and fell in love with my little guy.

He qualifies for PT based on his inability to sit unassisted and lack of attempts to low-crawl or scoot on his tummy. I was a little surprised, but I'm happy to get free PT with him (2x/month). He has some facial asymmetry from the torticollis, which I can see now that she pointed it out (it will resolve spontaneously, just interesting that it happened.

The PT also is referring us for a swallow study. She thinks L may have something a little more complicated than classic reflux, based on his vomiting patterns and the fact he has leaked milk from his mouth during feeds since birth- she disagrees with the general pediatrics notion that weight gain = no problems with reflux. Since his height and length are in the 50th percentile but his head circumference is in the 15th, she is slightly concerned that he's absorbing enough calories to fuel brain growth. Scary sounding, but I keep reminding myself that DH hsa a little head, so it's probably nothing.

They also did some hearing testing, and he does not respond to sounds on his right side AT ALL. That's the ear that was infected for 4 months. So we're being sent to an audiologist as well.

We got some exercises to work on until our next session (making sure he bends at the waist and practices sitting, crawling exercises, etc.) and she gave us something called a Gertie ball (?) to work with. He loved it at first, then I think I startled him with it or something, because now he's terrified when I take it out. Oops.

Will add recent pics as soon as my uploads are done.

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/i...ks30-32001.jpg
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/i...ks30-32012.jpg
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/i...ks30-32019.jpg
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/i...30-32088-1.jpg
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/i...ks30-32060.jpg
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#498 of 500 Old 03-01-2008, 04:22 PM
 
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rach - how cool (and yes scary too) about the bobcat!

I'm glad you like the pt and it sounds like progress. Plus what a cutie!! love those pics.

If LO ever goes to sleep I'll start a new thread. unless someone beats me to it
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#499 of 500 Old 03-01-2008, 05:23 PM
 
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#500 of 500 Old 03-02-2008, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Jujubie View Post

I'm still in shock that i'm now a parent. This little girl is actually mine?! How did that happen!
I STILL feel that way sometimes. I remember it really intensely in the first few days - I was amazed that THAT was who was in my belly all that time.
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