AP day at Target - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 12:36 AM
 
girlzmommy00's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 694
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
JMO but to me being an AP parent is about doing what is best for your baby and letting them take the lead, where ever that may lead.
My 2 younger daughters had medical issues (severe food allergies) where breastfeeding was out and they both needed the same prescription medical formula (Neocate). They definately go beyond the norm with allergies. I've had people comment on my middle dd's use of the bottle at what they thought to be an "older" age (she is a tall girl and was 36 in at 12 months). She was not able to start solids until she was 2 1/2 years old. So they'd see this 18 month old, who looked to be about 3, with a bottle and ask why my 3 year old "still" had a bottle. I'd just let them know that not only was she just 1 but she had a medical problem and couldn't eat food. They were usually pretty embarassed since it was definately a situation beyond our control. And I can't tell you how many people, not realizing how severe their allergies were, would tell me that I just needed to cut out dairy and I could have BF'ed them (I'm allergic as well, and haven't drank milk in over 20 years, I think that would be long enough to get it out of my system LOL).

My point being that I think the comments here are more for the parents who aren't slinging, breastfeeding, etc because they don't feel like it or don't care, than those who would love to but for what ever reason, just can't or whose children aren't able to or don't want to. I'd love to co-sleep but my girls love to have their own beds. While co-sleeping is considered an "AP" practice, I don't think that forcing them to co-sleep with me would be very "AP" of me.

Stephanie, mom to 3 big girls ('94, '99 & '02) and to my little guy (12/30/09) intact & CD'ed!
girlzmommy00 is offline  
#32 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 11:11 AM
 
CajunMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: nakX2- sweating to death
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that it is great that the OP was able to educate some mamas about the sling. I look forward to that if the sling/pouch work for us.

I have not had my baby yet, and don't consider myself AP, although I do strongly agree with slinging and cloth diapering. Sometimes the posts here can seem judgemental against non-AP parents; but I don't take them personally.

I don't plan on co-sleeping, or following Sears to a T, but feel that babywearing and cloth diapering are the most logical approach to dealing with an infant. Infants want to be held- what a wonderful compromise the sling seems to be ( from my perspective since I have no experience yet)- Mama and baby can both be happy. Some babies are happier in a stroller or a bucket- simply a matter of baby making her opinions known Cloth diapering is another choise that seems like a "no-brainer" to me, when money is tight and the health of the baby is considered. I DO NOT, however, think that Moms who use disposibles or baby SUV's to be bad parents. Most don't even know that slings exist, or that cloth diapers are still made. Most don't know the risks of dds, or the ease of the new cloth diapering systems. Many mamas can't give birth at home due to high risk factors, or cant have a natural birth-- that doesn't make them any less a loving Mama Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion- I just don't have to agree. :LOL

Again, I don't like to label myself AP or Non-AP, but prefer to see myself as open to new possibilities. Some things will work, and others will not. I don't post much-(shy I guess ), but have gained valuable knowledge from these boards, whether I agree with the poster or not.


EDD 12/14/03 to fabulous mystery baby
CajunMama is offline  
#33 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 11:35 AM
 
chellemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you really love your sling and wear it lots, email the company or mama you bought it from and ask for business cards to hand to awestruck passersby.

I wear my babe a lot, but he also enjoys the stroller. Especially if he's just eaten or if big sister wants to push him as we walk.
chellemarie is offline  
#34 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 02:18 PM
 
MelMel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of the Cleves
Posts: 1,913
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
again people feel judged and another thread gets 'guilted' off track.....

okay, I have been to alot of boards and discussion lists...to find advice and info and share the joys of parenting the way I love to do it, and have found nothing but discouragement, rudeness, and insults to me and my child because of the natural ways we live...if your 'intependent' child 'loves' their stroller, thats fine, you have lots of likeminded support....where is my happy, content, slinging child's support????
I subscribe to MOTHERING magazine, which soooo supports my family and our lifestyle....and was overjoyed to discover the discussion area, FINALLY a safe haven of support!

so if slinging, bf, environmentally concerned, and otherwise NFL mamas arent welcome to post and share and discuss issues that pertain to us HERE, where can we go?
:
MelMel is offline  
#35 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 03:21 PM
 
N2theWoods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Alameda, CA
Posts: 369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the problem stems from the nature of argument, and taking things personally.

In order to argue a standpoint, one compares one's standpoint against another. That's how one makes a strong point. Yes, I think sometimes we get too harsh in doing that, and most of the time, especially on these boards, I see an effort made to not be harsh, which I appreciate. Nothing in life is as simple as "us against them" and I think most of us here know that.

It's also important to try not to take things personally - I think that's one of the biggest problems people have, one of the many faces of shaky self-confidence (at least it is in my case.) It's hard not to take things personally, and I struggle with it a LOT. But the bottom line in life is that NOTHING is black and white. Most of us fall into the gray area and that's OK. If you need to use a stroller because of your back or because your babe is happiest there, then you know that - so the accusations of lazy moms/moms who don't like to hold babies (and I know at least one mom friend who has admitted this to me,) do not apply to you so why take it personally?

I do think that strollers are overused in this country and I don't think that everyone is using them for the valid reasons that women have posted here for using them. I see a LOT of unhappy, fussy, cranky babies in strollers whose cries/moans/squirms are completely ignored. Am pretty confident none of us stroller-users on these boards would do that unless there was some sort of compelling reason to do so. Quite frankly, I would consider myself anti-stroller. That does NOT mean that I am judging everyone I see with a baby in one. If the baby is happy, then God bless! It's only if the baby is obviously not happy, or completely tuned out that I react negatively.

I just want to everyone here and say "you are so incredibly welcome!" because I know that I frequently don't feel that way, so others must go through it as well. But I honestly think that we are appreciated, even when we're disagreed with or something we do or don't do with our family is debated... hotly!
N2theWoods is offline  
#36 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 03:28 PM
 
MelMel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Land of the Cleves
Posts: 1,913
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that was a great post and I agree with most of it...cept the 'god bless' part...lol
MelMel is offline  
#37 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 04:48 PM
 
MamaTT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: in my new house!
Posts: 1,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
so if slinging, bf, environmentally concerned, and otherwise NFL mamas arent welcome to post and share and discuss issues that pertain to us HERE, where can we go?

Point well made.

BTW, what does NFL stand for? exuse my ignorence....
MamaTT is offline  
#38 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 05:06 PM
 
babydoll's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 456
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My point was about slinging ONLY. ok that is not entirely true. It is about not judging people by face value when it comes to SLINGING ONLY. I did not take it personally that so and so went to Target and got to chat with other slinging Mamas. I too have a sling. I was slinging my dd when she was little (mostly when she needed to nurse or if I needed to do grocery shopping after she was too big for her bucket). I loved her bucket by the way and I feel no need to apologize for it. In fact if she could still fit in there I would have NO PROBLEM AT ALL using it. I have gotten cool comments about my pouch and my sling which I welcomed with open arms and gave some new Mama's advice about where I got mine and things to consider when choosing a sling. I also love her stroller and if I had to choose between my pouch/sling and stroller there would be no question I would choose the stroller anytime without hesitation! My point is that unlike breastfeeding (which I am a huge advocate of), cloth diapering (which I am not interested in at all) - unless someone sees you breastfeeding or diapering your child they don't know you do it. A sling is a device that you physically wear and everyone sees - and my point is that some people cannot handle a 19+ pound baby hanging on them if they have a bad back. So as I said before - before you judge them maybe you should consider they have a bad back.
babydoll is offline  
#39 of 45 Old 09-12-2003, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
jackson's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not quite sure these days
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MamaTT, I think NFL stands for Natural Family Living. Please correct me if I'm wrong, MelMel.

Babydoll, I think I understand your point clearly. I'm wondering what you saw in this thread that made you feel that you needed to admonish us not to judge in the first place? I didn't think that any posters were passing judgement on non-slinging moms (or moms who happen to not be slinging at that moment), so I'm just curious.
jackson's mama is offline  
#40 of 45 Old 09-13-2003, 12:49 AM
 
Peppamint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 12,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by babydoll
I hate to hear other Mama's talking as if you use a stroller you are not an "AP" Mama or don't love your baby enough. I have a bulging and a ruptured disc in my back and even though I have a couple slings that I did/do use when I have to carry my dd and nurse her, it is just too uncomfortable on my back to wear it every time I go out. Also, my dd so enjoys the independence of sitting up in her stroller and seeing the world as "I" am right behind her showing her the way.

So next time you judge a Mama who isn't slinging...maybe you will consider she has a bad back...
I didn't see anyone judge!

I think most of us are celebrating that we see more slings. Most mommas in my area don't know about slings because the only thing you can buy in my town is the snugli and evenflo carriers that generally get bad reviews.

Admittedly, my ds is not in the sling all day and I just bought a double stroller. So shoot me! If ds and dd will sit in the double jogger so we can take walks then it's healthy for all three of us. My ds is over 15lbs at 4 months and I can't do hard walking with him in the sling. I think the main thing AP is aiming for is a happy, well cared for baby... AP and NFL different in some respects.
Peppamint is offline  
#41 of 45 Old 09-13-2003, 10:50 AM
 
jogirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Matthews, NC
Posts: 310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was in Target yesterday (a nasty rainy day too!) and wore dd in my Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch. I ran into another mom with her babe in a maya wrap, a mom with her babe in a nojo, and got stopped by someone (a soon to be grandma) wanting to know where to get those. I advertised my consultant business with Mother of Eden and she may even contact me about cloth diapers... so exciting! I've never run into so many slingin' folks before...
jogirl is offline  
#42 of 45 Old 09-13-2003, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
jackson's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not quite sure these days
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tammy, that's great!!
jackson's mama is offline  
#43 of 45 Old 09-13-2003, 04:23 PM
 
liam's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: in utter disbelief
Posts: 1,578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh dear. I'm sorry people felt judged. I didn't really see anyone passing judgment, but that doesn't mean something could have rubbed someone the wrong way.

I really don't think strollers are evil, FWIW. We have one and I love it, and so does ds. He's a heavy baby (16.5 lbs) and like another poster said, I really can't do heavy walking with him in the sling. Plus, he *likes* the stroller sometimes! If he's happy, I really don't think there's a problem.

I do like wearing the sling as often as possible when out and about, because increasing visibility is one of the best ways to get other mamas into slinging. But I would never judge another mama using a stroller. How could I when I use one myself?


mostly WAHM, sometimes WOHM to my : two boys.
liam's mom is offline  
#44 of 45 Old 09-14-2003, 04:05 PM
 
Jish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: in a constant state of chaos
Posts: 5,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My apologies for having been away for a couple of days due to a busy, busy life lately, and not catching that this thread had gone dramatically off track.

Nowhere was anyone criticizing those who don't use slings. The OP in no way made that judgement. She was simply excited to be able to share her love of slinging with moms and pass on her knowledge. No criticism of those who use strollers, most of us do. Using a stroller doesn't make you "non AP" nor should someone feel judged simply because she doesn't enjoy, or can't sling. This mama is simply sharing a fun experience.

Please remember that we are all doing the best we can with the skills we have. All of our children are different and their needs and wants are different. If a child hates a sling but loves the stroller, then it wouldn't be terribly AP to force them into the sling. What I don't understand is why a mom would feel judged by a mom who walked by wearing a sling. For all we know that mom might have been thinking how she wished her child would sit in a stroller for even a few minutes. If we would all stop worrying about what others might be thinking of us and focus on doing what we know is right for our children, we would all be much happier.

This is a site dedicated to Natrual Family Living. Slings, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc are obviously going to be the topics of conversation. We don't all necessarily do all these things, and remember, we aren't required to read those threads that might upset us, nor are we required to post to them.

Just a reminder of what this thread started as, here is the original post. Please keep things on track.

[quote]It was a banner day at Target today! Two different mamas approached me about my sling, both of them saying, "I have one of those at home, and I can't figure it out!" I gave each of them quick lessons, but mostly encouraged them to stick with it. Heck, it took me at least a month of experimenting with the darn thing before I felt comfortable enough to wear it out of the house!

One of the moms mentioned to me that her dd (2.5 months) did a lot of crying during the day. I sympathized with her, because my ds was a fusser at that age as well. We talked about how the sling would be soothing and may help her dd to be less fussy. The mom shyly asked me, "Did you let your baby cry? Because some people tell me we should do that." I talked to her about how crying was her baby's only way to communicate her needs, even if the only thing she needed was someone to hold her. This seemed to be exactly what this mama needed to hear, because she got a big smile when I told her that I have never let ds CIO.

So not only did I get to encourage 2 slinging mamas, but I also helped one mama listen to her instincts about not CIO. I think that was pretty good for one day at Tar-jay![quote/]
Jish is offline  
#45 of 45 Old 09-14-2003, 09:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
jackson's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not quite sure these days
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, Jish. I have to admit that I contributed to getting this thread off the original topic. I think so much of parenting is making decisions, then hoping and praying that you've made the right choices. We hear of other parents making different choices, for whatever the reason, and on a bad day it can feel like a direct assault on the parenting decisions that we make. We all have days where we feel attacked by something harmless, kwim? I think AbigailsMomSarah has the right idea:
Quote:
I know I am a wonderful mom to my precious daughter. She is healthy, well cared for, and one of the most joyful babies I know. There for, I am going to keep on doing what I am doing, knowing that I must be doing something right!
OK, now back to tales of slinging at the local discount department store .
jackson's mama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off