AP day at Target - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 03:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It was a banner day at Target today! Two different mamas approached me about my sling, both of them saying, "I have one of those at home, and I can't figure it out!" I gave each of them quick lessons, but mostly encouraged them to stick with it. Heck, it took me at least a month of experimenting with the darn thing before I felt comfortable enough to wear it out of the house!

One of the moms mentioned to me that her dd (2.5 months) did a lot of crying during the day. I sympathized with her, because my ds was a fusser at that age as well. We talked about how the sling would be soothing and may help her dd to be less fussy. The mom shyly asked me, "Did you let your baby cry? Because some people tell me we should do that." I talked to her about how crying was her baby's only way to communicate her needs, even if the only thing she needed was someone to hold her. This seemed to be exactly what this mama needed to hear, because she got a big smile when I told her that I have never let ds CIO.

So not only did I get to encourage 2 slinging mamas, but I also helped one mama listen to her instincts about not CIO. I think that was pretty good for one day at Tar-jay!
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#2 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 03:35 AM
 
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Awww, good job!
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#3 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 11:35 AM
 
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Yeah!

to you!
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#4 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 11:54 AM
 
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That is sooo encouraging to hear. The times I've been in Tar-jay with ds have often been depressing to me. I see all these babes in carseat/stroller combos, some of them newborn and crying while the mom ignores and shops or else keeps saying, 'what's wrong sweetie'. I always think extra loud, "PICK ME UP" hoping that my loud thinking will somehow communicate itself to the mom :LOL. Anyway it's great that these moms were interested in your sling and that you were able to support and encourage their natural instinct to mother. The other day I happened to see a slinging mom outside Target and I went right up to her and told her how great it was to see her slining her babe.
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#5 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 12:15 PM
 
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That's a great story!!!!
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#6 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 12:32 PM
 
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Awesome! I think ti such a way to open conversation when I take my babies out and I either have ds in a sling or pouch depending. People always come up to me and say what a great idea they are, how content the baby looks, one older gentleman in wal-Mart walked up to me and said "Now there's a real mother!" It so warmed my heart to hear that!

Just think of how many people we may insipre to babywear that will never even speak to us personally!

WOO-HOO!!

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#7 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 01:35 PM
 
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Way to go mama!
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#8 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 02:02 PM
 
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YAYAYAYAY!!! That's so fantastic!!
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one older gentleman in wal-Mart walked up to me and said "Now there's a real mother!" It so warmed my heart to hear that!
Oh my goodness, that is such a wonderful thing for that man to say.

I have to say, I have a stroller and I do use it a fair amount, but when running errands/grocery shopping, etc ds is usually in a sling. Yesterday at Walmart he was in the sling, happy as a clam. We got a lot of looks and smiles, which was sweet. However, I must have seen 50 other mothers with babies liam's age, and they were all in the infant seat, resting on top of the cart. Oh well, I can't exactly approach all the mamas and give them a lesson on the benefits of slinging if they're not interested.

mostly WAHM, sometimes WOHM to my : two boys.
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#9 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 03:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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one older gentleman in wal-Mart walked up to me and said "Now there's a real mother!"
WOW! That's awesome! For some reason I love the smiles from men. That probably sounds weird, but I think its great when men notice babies and slinging and appreciate it. I always wonder if their wives were AP moms (and they are AP dads), and I'm bringing back good memories for them .
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#10 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 03:22 PM
 
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on the weird side of sling comments...I was at a coffee house sat. afternoon waiting to give my order, with a very happy singing and humming dd, some young proffessional type guy was in front of me and commented on how happy dd was...then he looked at me and said 'how much would it cost for me to get a ride in there' I have gotten joke type comments like that before, but this was almost creepy. he seemed serious. lol

I told him he exceeded the weight requirement.
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#11 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 05:17 PM
 
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Originally posted by MelMel
...then he looked at me and said 'how much would it cost for me to get a ride in there' I have gotten joke type comments like that before, but this was almost creepy. he seemed serious. lol

I told him he exceeded the weight requirement.

Something like that happened to me the other day! We were on the cable cars in San Francisco and a guy and (I'm presuming) his wife came and sat next to us.. as they sat down, the guy said, "I want his seat" and pointed at the baby. I was THOROUGHLY creeped out. I was really sick too, so I couldn't even think of anything witty to say.
:LOL
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#12 of 45 Old 09-09-2003, 06:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MelMel
some young proffessional type guy was in front of me and commented on how happy dd was...then he looked at me and said 'how much would it cost for me to get a ride in there' I have gotten joke type comments like that before, but this was almost creepy. he seemed serious. lol

At the risk of getting too T, this has happened to me, and more than once... : What is up with some people? Is that their way of saying - can I be wrapped up close to your chest? Has our society acutally gotten that hyper-sexualized that the *sling* looks like a sex-toy? Sheesh!


Anyway, way to go jackson's mama! :bf I still sling my dd all the time - at 18 months and almost 30 lbs people look at us funny. But I live in a working class Philly neighborhood where I've never seen slings on anyone but me before - and recently I got two new mamas to try it out! Both were very happy. One of those neighbors also confided to me that her 2.5 yo and her newborn are in the bed with them... and I'm the only person besides her dh who knows that, lol

These small encouragements slowing turn the tide, I'm sure of it!

mb

teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
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#13 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 12:14 AM
 
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I've had people tell me they want dd's seat before, too, and I've never felt they were meaning in a sexual way. (I hardly look like a sex kitten! : ) I've always figured they meant they felt they missed out on something or were remembering something fondly, whichever the case.

P.S. Not all those babies are necessarily in carseats because their mamas are clueless. My dd spent her first several months on top the cart because she *hated* the sling. I actually went back out to the car to get the bucket once after we'd both had enough of trying to use the sling and screaming! (her, not me, I just felt like it! :LOL )

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#14 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 10:31 AM
 
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WTG! I love it when people ask about the sling!
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#15 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 10:47 AM
 
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I could never quite get the hang of my sling but I carry my daughter everywhere. I never used the car seat carry part for 2 good reasons.
1) I loved carrying my daughter close to me
2) Why would I want to make it heavier to carry to her?

Anyway, so one day in CVS I was holding her and putting things in a basket and a little old lady said to her husband..loud enough for me tohear, on purpose I'm sure.
"It's nice to see a mom carry her baby like a baby instead of like some luggage"

The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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#16 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 12:15 PM
 
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Maybe we should organize a nation-wide sling at Tar-jay day where each of us goes to our local Target at a certain time with dc in the sling and just hang out there for as long as either mom or babe will tolerate. It might be kind of affirming to know alot of mds moms doing the same thing and it's certainly a benign way of encouraging moms to sling. Whaddya think?
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#17 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 04:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sofiamomma,
Quote:
we'd both had enough of trying to use the sling and screaming! (her, not me, I just felt like it! :LOL
I have SO been there! Occasionally J and I just can't get comfortable with the sling... I'm trying to move him around in all these different holds, and we're both just getting more and more frustrated... Sometimes its better to just get the bucket!

Solsticemama, great idea! I think Target and Walmart are great places to advance slinging. Just by being visible makes a big difference.
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#18 of 45 Old 09-10-2003, 04:54 PM
 
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Great idea! I was in Target yesterday with dd in the sling and only got looks like, "that is weird!" and older people just looked disapproving. Why is that??? I would be all for a "sling in your local discount dept. store" day!
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#19 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 06:53 AM
 
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Bravo! The more we sling, the more others will sling! :bf :bf :bf
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#20 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 01:05 PM
 
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Wow, this is almost exactly idential to my experience yesterday at Babies 'r' Us!

Two women with babies the same age as my own approached me (separately, at different times) and asked about my sling. Both had slings at home they were having trouble with. I just gave some suggestions and we talked for a while. I was so excited!

Afterward, I'd wished we'd exchanged phone numbers or something, but hey, it's a start.

I think we're going to start hanging out at stores more often! (Plus, DD loves the stimulation of looking at all the people and "stuff.")
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#21 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 01:07 PM
 
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Horray!

F.
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#22 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 01:25 PM
 
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I hate to hear other Mama's talking as if you use a stroller you are not an "AP" Mama or don't love your baby enough. I have a bulging and a ruptured disc in my back and even though I have a couple slings that I did/do use when I have to carry my dd and nurse her, it is just too uncomfortable on my back to wear it every time I go out. Also, my dd so enjoys the independence of sitting up in her stroller and seeing the world as "I" am right behind her showing her the way.

So next time you judge a Mama who isn't slinging...maybe you will consider she has a bad back...
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#23 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 03:16 PM
 
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Thank you babydoll! I agree with you 100%!

I used a sling when Abby was very young, and small (she was a preemie), but after she got over 10 pounds or so, I was no longer able to sling her, dues to a medical problem. I did use the dreaded "bucket" while shopping, and it was wonderful for us. Without it, I would not have been able to go shopping for food or anything else our family needed. I never left her in it if she was unhappy.

I am amazed at the ammount of judgment here, often makes me wonder why I even read these boards as I always leave feeling judged and looked down upon for the things I am unable to do as perfectly as other mothers.

But then I look at my beautiful healthy and happy daughter, and I know I am doing it right, and that she is the only person whose expectations I must live up too.

Sarah
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#24 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh sweetie, I hope you don't think that I judge non-slinging mamas! I'd never proclaim to be any better than non-slinging, non-cosleeping, bottle feeding mamas. We all have our unique situations and make different choices! I'm sorry to hear that your back problems kept you from slinging as often as you'd like, but you sityaion is different than the mamas we're talking about... the ones that want to sling and don't know how, or those that have never seen it or don't know the benefits.

I'm sorry that this thread has left you feeling judged .
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#25 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 04:26 PM
 
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I always interpreted the "I'd like his seat" comments to mean that the people just acknowlege that the baby is enjoying the good life...no worries, a warm soft cushion to sleep in al the time, endless adoration, having his every need suppied by a loving mother....
On the other hand, the "I'll have what he's having" comment when I'm breastfeeding really bugs me!

As for the judgement, I wish I didn't feel kinda the same way as Sarah and babydoll (not on this particular thread, just in general). Although I use a sling most of the time, I'm often less motivated to strike up conversations with slinging moms becasue I fear that they're going to be more judgemental of me and try to inspect every aspect of my parenting.
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#26 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 04:44 PM
 
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Sarah & babydoll I'm sorry if you felt judged by this thread. I know there are lots of reasons why moms don't sling. Sometimes too, the babe just doesn't like being in the sling. What I find hard is not the use of the 'bucket' but rather when there is a babe in a bucket in obvious distress and the mom just ignores the babe. Being a good mom has nothing to do with what system you espouse but rather tuning in to the needs of both you and your babe and seeing what works both for both of you in that moment. Again really sorry if you felt judged, all of us mamas are just doing what works best for each of us. We need to support each other.
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#27 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 05:18 PM
 
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For those w/ bad backs and/or babes who don't like the sling, the Ultimate Baby wrap is a great option!!

The best price I have seen is at www.naturalmothercompany.com

For your more conventional friends, though, you can refer them the The Right Start, which recently started carrying them.

I got mine after I couldn't take the Baby Bjorn any longer. Ds has ALWAYS wanted his arms and legs free, so it is great all around. It can pretty much do everything a sling or front carrier can, an much more comfortably, too. The only drawback is it takes a minute to get on.

I love it overall!
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#28 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmmm, now this thread is getting juicy! In the deep-meaningful-discussion sense of juicy, not the people's-feelings-are-getting-hurt-and-I'm-enjoying-it sense .

Its interesting that some of us feel like we are under the scrutiny of other AP moms. I've heard this mentioned before, and I have to admit that I tend to be a bit intimidated by other AP moms too. Almost like its some sort of competition, who's the most AP? For instance, I BF but we use bottles of EBM sometimes. I feel a bit inferior to the mamas that exclusively breast feed, even though I know I'm doing what's right for my family. We also let Jackson play in his exersaucer and watch Baby Einstein at times, and I'm almost afraid to mention that on here.

I know that the mamas here won't judge me based on these things, its more a feeling that I put on myself. Why is that? Any thoughts on why other parents' AP style seems to make some of us feel like we are being judged or not doing enough?
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#29 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 07:48 PM
 
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I don't really know any AP moms in real life, so the only place I ever feel judged as a mother is here. The majority of people at this board are so kind and helpful, and that is why I started posting here, after a long while of reading the diapering board. I'm not quite sure I even am an "official"AP mom.

While I believe and practice gentle discipline, do not believe in crying it out, used a sling for a short while, and cloth diaper, I also use a stroller, high chair, and Abby sleeps happily in her crib, I also formula feed her because of medical problems she had at birth that did not allow her to latch on at all. I did pump for two months.

I hate labels, and tend not to label myself, but part of me falls into AP types of parenting, part of me does not.

What I find so increadibly hurtful is reading posts where posters say that parents feeding their children formula might as well feed them poison, or that they would never allow their child a doll with a bottle because real babies are not fed that way (some babies are and have to be in order to survive!). It is hard to read a post that says that parents who use strollers, or pacifiers or any other baby item are lazy. We are all doing the best job we know how, with the best info we have.

I am learning to stick mostly to the diapering board because that is where I tend to find the most useful information. While I also enjoy reading 90% of the posts on some of theother boards, I just can't seem to stay away from the 10% that either really hurt me or anger me.

Like I said before, I know I am a wonderful mom to my precious daughter. She is healthy, well cared for, and one of the most joyful babies I know. There for, I am going to keep on doing what I am doing, knowing that I must be doing something right!

Sarah
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#30 of 45 Old 09-11-2003, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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