***April 2007 Mamas - It's March 2008!!!*** - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 04:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, everyone!

I descended from lurkdom to start our March thread!

Here are a couple of then and now pics of Micah. I would love to see the same of everyone else's babes! (We definitely have a cute bunch here!)

2 weeks old...
22 weeks old (aka 5 months)...
45 weeks old (aka 10 1/2 months)...

Here is a link to a slidshow of all of the weeks so far....

: Happy March! :

Okay...back into hiding.....

Rebekah , single working mom to Micah (04.12.2007)
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#2 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 11:52 AM
 
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Micah is just so adorable!


Welcome to March everyone : Spring and birthdays are just around the corner.

:A nerdy reminder about the exchange. Just email me with your address and preferences before the end of the month :

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Originally Posted by doudat View Post
Funny about feeding 3 months old and CIO. I was looking at old pictures of me and my parents, who were relatively hippy-ish, had me in my crib with a bottle of formula propped on pillows. At only 4 weeks old. Then I see a picture of me strapped to some weird seating contraption with a bowl of infant cereal next to me and my face covered with the stuff. At 6 weeks old. And they had these wooden playpens everywhere. My sister and I are outside in these wooden jails. Ugh.
We live and learn, don't we?
My mom defends these types of things so strongly and gets really frustrated when I do things differently. She sees it as a criticism of her love for me or something.
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#3 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 01:25 PM
 
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Micah is a cutie!

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#4 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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March! I'll have an 11 month old in 3 days!!!!

ShyDaisi, that is so great you put all those photos together. That's a great idea to send to the grandparents, too. I have to get the older photos off the other computer. Also, I have tons of framed photos of Max, but only one of Scarlet since we've gone all digital. I need to get some prints made.

Scarlet is now to the point where she really cries if I take something away from her. In fact, last night I tried to get my cell phone from her and she ran away! So funny! Although I'm sure it will get less funny as she continues to do this sort of thing.

Doudat and hanno - I specifically remember that sleeping with my parents was a definite no no and remember only one occasion when I was able to do so, when there was a terrible thunderstorm. My poor mom now has dementia and a while ago when I was talking to her friend about birthing at home she said, "I did that, too, didn't I?". Sorry, Mama, I was born in a hospital, bottle fed and slept in a crib. So it went and still goes for so many.

I saw two pregnant mamas at the library yesterday and was envious! Then I heard them talking about blood tests and ultrasounds - not so envious.

Boy, I'm blabby this morning!
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#5 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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Romi has been screaming as well if I don't respond immediately. She's so clingy as well, she just follows me everywhere and won't let me do anything without being in my arms. And even in my arms she just grabs everything and makes housechores nearly impossible. Gah, I'm just a complainer today
Maybe I'm about to get af as well? I'm happy she hasn't showed up yet, but I have a feeling it'll be soon...
(sorry, posted by doudat obviously in Feb's thread)

How does that make you feel? Chad and his brothers have said jokingly that they're mad at their mom for circumsizing them and feeding them formula, of course they're not, but I think deep down they wish they had made different decisions. There are things I wish my mom had done differently, like nursed longer (than 6 months) but really, I'm quite proud of her for doing the things she did, especially without much support from family, or fuss from herself. She did bf us, had natural births and didn't circumsize my bro, but honestly I never wish we slept in their bed or didn't vax us, but then again- I grew up in a happy, healthy, stable, loving home with nothing to complain about. I do wish she'd show a little bit more real encouragement for some things that are obviously better- like extended nursing, and really, she doesn't care, but she trivializes things that really matter to me.

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Micah is just so adorable!

We live and learn, don't we?
My mom defends these types of things so strongly and gets really frustrated when I do things differently. She sees it as a criticism of her love for me or something.
Ya, same here. 'Well, I (emphasis on I) didn't do xxx...'
Anyway! Happy March!
Shydaisy, that's a great idea with the teddy- he sure has changed!

Amanda; mama to: Axel (Dec/04), Evangeline (Apr/07) and Ramsey, (Feb/09) born unassisted! Jethro Vader (Apr/11) and #5 due April 2014. 
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#6 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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thanks maximom

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#7 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 06:23 PM
 
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Not much happening here. Same old. I'm jealous of you ladies with sleeping babies... Aaaah, sleep.

Romi has been screaming as well if I don't respond immediately. She's so clingy as well, she just follows me everywhere and won't let me do anything without being in my arms. And even in my arms she just grabs everything and makes housechores nearly impossible. Gah, I'm just a complainer today
Maybe I'm about to get af as well? I'm happy she hasn't showed up yet, but I have a feeling it'll be soon...

Oh, I went to drop off liam at daycare yesterday and one of the ladies that will have romi next month was asking me about her and asked me about bottles and stuff. She looked shocked when I told her Romi never had a bottle and she'll be going on milk and not formula. I told her I didn't breastfeed for a year to then give my baby a bottle filled with formula

i haven't been getting sleep either--for weeks, it seems. even when zenon does sleep, i'm having so much trouble sleeping. now he is sick and waking all.the.time.
sorry about the clinginess--that is so hard. kaylo was like that and it was so draining/frustrating!
that stinks about the interaction you had with your daycare person--i guess as a daycare provider, she probably sees no kids that go bottle-free..

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Funny about feeding 3 months old and CIO. I was looking at old pictures of me and my parents, who were relatively hippy-ish, had me in my crib with a bottle of formula propped on pillows. At only 4 weeks old. Then I see a picture of me strapped to some weird seating contraption with a bowl of infant cereal next to me and my face covered with the stuff. At 6 weeks old. And they had these wooden playpens everywhere. My sister and I are outside in these wooden jails. Ugh.

it was just what was told to them...my mom bf until we were 6 months but she didn't know anyone else that did that! and she never co-slept and fed us solids early too--but she was told to by our pedi and even her friends.

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Just read this on DS:
Government Concedes Vaccine-Autism Case in Federal Court

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-...-_b_88558.html
http://www.infowars.com/?p=504

thanks for the links.

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#8 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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March! I'll have an 11 month old in 3 days!!!!


I saw two pregnant mamas at the library yesterday and was envious! Then I heard them talking about blood tests and ultrasounds - not so envious.

Boy, I'm blabby this morning!
yikes! 11 months :

it's funny that you were envious of pg moms... i'm never envious of that! i'm maybe envious when i see a new little one but i'm not a huge fan of the pregnancy part.

Quote:
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Hi, everyone!

I descended from lurkdom to start our March thread!

Here are a couple of then and now pics of Micah. I would love to see the same of everyone else's babes! (We definitely have a cute bunch here!)

2 weeks old...
22 weeks old (aka 5 months)...
45 weeks old (aka 10 1/2 months)...

Here is a link to a slidshow of all of the weeks so far....

: Happy March! :

Okay...back into hiding.....
nice to see you! what a cute guy! he's looking so old! oh and i'm very impressed by your weekly photos...i would never remember to take a photo every week. i try and remember to take one each month (on the 15th, his birthdate) and probably have only done it twice!

chicken3.gif mama knit.gif to 3 farmboys (9 reading.gif, 6 blahblah.gif & 3 notes2.gif ) and 1 farmgirl (baby.gif)
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#9 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 08:42 PM
 
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Micah is so sweet!!
11 months is scary, isn't it? A month away from a year...

Thanks Maximom, without your post I would've stayed on the other thread for a few days wondering where everyone was

As feeling resentment towards my family, well I kinda do. Cause I don't have a relationship with my mother and I always think that if she would have nurtured me, we would , you know? So nursing would've brought us together. As it was, she resented me for a c-section that she didn't want (ironically she wanted a natural birth). And seeing the pictures of me all alone in every picture breaks my heart. Plus I just remember stories of them letting me CIO cause I just cried all the time My whole family is disfunctional... My 2 brothers and my sister (who were all adopted, so obviously wanted) were dealt the same kind of weird rejection-parenting. Anyways, I just spilled my whole life in a paragraph, but my parents were very well educated, not mainstream, but still made really bad choices that affected everyone of us.

Hey, at least they didn't circumcise
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#10 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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Micah is so sweet!!
11 months is scary, isn't it? A month away from a year...

Thanks Maximom, without your post I would've stayed on the other thread for a few days wondering where everyone was

As feeling resentment towards my family, well I kinda do. Cause I don't have a relationship with my mother and I always think that if she would have nurtured me, we would , you know? So nursing would've brought us together. As it was, she resented me for a c-section that she didn't want (ironically she wanted a natural birth). And seeing the pictures of me all alone in every picture breaks my heart. Plus I just remember stories of them letting me CIO cause I just cried all the time My whole family is disfunctional... My 2 brothers and my sister (who were all adopted, so obviously wanted) were dealt the same kind of weird rejection-parenting. Anyways, I just spilled my whole life in a paragraph, but my parents were very well educated, not mainstream, but still made really bad choices that affected everyone of us.

Hey, at least they didn't circumcise
wow, that's intense...and interesting too. that you can see now how APing may have changed your relationship with your mom. do you get along with your siblings well? does the fact that all of you had to deal with weird rejection-parenting bring you all closer?

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#11 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 09:30 PM
 
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Micah is so sweet!!
11 months is scary, isn't it? A month away from a year...

Thanks Maximom, without your post I would've stayed on the other thread for a few days wondering where everyone was

As feeling resentment towards my family, well I kinda do. Cause I don't have a relationship with my mother and I always think that if she would have nurtured me, we would , you know? So nursing would've brought us together. As it was, she resented me for a c-section that she didn't want (ironically she wanted a natural birth). And seeing the pictures of me all alone in every picture breaks my heart. Plus I just remember stories of them letting me CIO cause I just cried all the time My whole family is disfunctional... My 2 brothers and my sister (who were all adopted, so obviously wanted) were dealt the same kind of weird rejection-parenting. Anyways, I just spilled my whole life in a paragraph, but my parents were very well educated, not mainstream, but still made really bad choices that affected everyone of us.

Hey, at least they didn't circumcise
Yeah, I remember tantrums I had and cried and cried and all I wanted was my mom to come hold me and tell me it was ok. And after I had children I resented the fact that she left me with my sister (8 years older) to take care of me more often than not (my sister resents it, too, although she'd never admit it ). I became much more detached from my mom and angry at some things, when before, I defended everything she did. Feminism was not good for children and my mom's generation was the target of that - women were (still are) given the impression that they had something more important to do than take care of their families.
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#12 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 09:46 PM
 
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wow, that's intense...and interesting too. that you can see now how APing may have changed your relationship with your mom. do you get along with your siblings well? does the fact that all of you had to deal with weird rejection-parenting bring you all closer?
Nope, we're really far apart. When my parents split up, my mom sent me to live with my dad in Miami and then Trinidad. My siblings stayed here. So we only see one another about once a year.

Maximom: I know what you mean, I have so many memories of me trying to get some affection from my mother, and I was always "annoying" her. In retrospect, I'm sure she wasn't really the maternal type and should've just not have kids but it was the thing to do at that time in her life.

I so yearn for a loving, close-knit family. Nico's family is just his mom, so we don't have much of a network. It's sad how some of our families are so screwed up and we end up raising our children with this strong link that's missing
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#13 of 420 Old 03-01-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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As feeling resentment towards my family, well I kinda do. Cause I don't have a relationship with my mother and I always think that if she would have nurtured me, we would , you know? So nursing would've brought us together. As it was, she resented me for a c-section that she didn't want (ironically she wanted a natural birth). And seeing the pictures of me all alone in every picture breaks my heart. Plus I just remember stories of them letting me CIO cause I just cried all the time My whole family is disfunctional... My 2 brothers and my sister (who were all adopted, so obviously wanted) were dealt the same kind of weird rejection-parenting. Anyways, I just spilled my whole life in a paragraph, but my parents were very well educated, not mainstream, but still made really bad choices that affected everyone of us.

Hey, at least they didn't circumcise
s Aw, mama, I don't even know what to say. Although- you can't reverse your childhood- at least you can make the changes you want to- and provide that unconditional love and attachment.
That's the one thing I wish my mom was different about, and it's affected me, especially- is that she really provided unconditional approval, even though I always knew she loved me, she can be judgemental. I want to parent just like my dad (minus the spanking), he was totally unconditional, never got angry at us, disciplined us so tenderly (yes, despite the method) and I knew he always, always loved me even when I was doing wrong.

Like Kris said though, they were just doing what they thought and were told was best. They knew no alternative. We have such an advantage with our access to information, and therefore exposure to various methods- so we have a choice of how we want to parent. Regardless, however, we're all going to screw up somewhere, because the fact is we're human, and we're fallible. I just wonder, because I tend to rely on information, if I would have the conviction to follow my gut on something if the information I had acess to told me otherwise. :dunno
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Yeah, I remember tantrums I had and cried and cried and all I wanted was my mom to come hold me and tell me it was ok. And after I had children I resented the fact that she left me with my sister (8 years older) to take care of me more often than not (my sister resents it, too, although she'd never admit it ). I became much more detached from my mom and angry at some things, when before, I defended everything she did. Feminism was not good for children and my mom's generation was the target of that - women were (still are) given the impression that they had something more important to do than take care of their families.
Bolding mine, interesting, and you definately have a point. Although, the climate before feminism wasn't that helpful to them either. Your right though, it must have been a hard time. It's pretty difficult to imagine an ideal world even now, women are enslaved in an even different way now.
But lets not get on that!:

Ok. I had a busy day- friends over all afternoon.

Amanda; mama to: Axel (Dec/04), Evangeline (Apr/07) and Ramsey, (Feb/09) born unassisted! Jethro Vader (Apr/11) and #5 due April 2014. 
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#14 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 01:50 AM
 
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Like Kris said though, they were just doing what they thought and were told was best. They knew no alternative. We have such an advantage with our access to information, and therefore exposure to various methods- so we have a choice of how we want to parent. Regardless, however, we're all going to screw up somewhere, because the fact is we're human, and we're fallible. I just wonder, because I tend to rely on information, if I would have the conviction to follow my gut on something if the information I had acess to told me otherwise. :dunno

Good points.

Bolding mine, interesting, and you definately have a point. Although, the climate before feminism wasn't that helpful to them either. Your right though, it must have been a hard time. It's pretty difficult to imagine an ideal world even now, women are enslaved in an even different way now.
But lets not get on that!:

Imagining the ideal world is the best we can do.

Ok. I had a busy day- friends over all afternoon.
Fun for you! We saw some friends in the city last weekend and it was loads of fun - we rarely get out and about these days.
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#15 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We live and learn, don't we?
My mom defends these types of things so strongly and gets really frustrated when I do things differently. She sees it as a criticism of her love for me or something.
My mom did that a lot, too. I think the thing she fought me over the most was vaccinations. I think she felt that I was telling her that she had harmed me and my brother in some way. I originally began talking about it about 6 years ago, and we would have REALLY heated arguments about it. She has come around though -- She even sends ME articles she comes across that talk negatively about vaxes. (If you knew her your jaw would drop too ). Another thing she totally disagrees with is co-sleeping. She doesn't understand how people have child no. 2, 3, etc. and thinks that is "her" time and thinks it is going to be difficult to get him to sleep in his own bed. I told her that right now, Micah is the only man in my bed, and probably will be the only one for a while. Plus, I know no college student still sleeping in bed with their parents.

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Doudat and hanno - I specifically remember that sleeping with my parents was a definite no no and remember only one occasion when I was able to do so, when there was a terrible thunderstorm. My poor mom now has dementia and a while ago when I was talking to her friend about birthing at home she said, "I did that, too, didn't I?". Sorry, Mama, I was born in a hospital, bottle fed and slept in a crib. So it went and still goes for so many.
There are a lot of AP things that I had no clue about until I stumbled upon this message board. I had planned on not circ, not vax, and natural childbirth (well, I had hoped anyway ), but had never thought about CDing, nor balking at cereal, nor delaying solids, nor self feeding, nor not CIO, nor co-sleeping, not even babywearing. I thought doing those non-AP things were what you were SUPPOSED to do. Of course my transition was softened by the shattering of the god complex for docs in my teens -- so I had no problems questioning docs...Of course, I could work on my confrontational skills.

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yikes! 11 months :

it's funny that you were envious of pg moms... i'm never envious of that! i'm maybe envious when i see a new little one but i'm not a huge fan of the pregnancy part.
I am not envious of pg moms either, but I am not really envious of new moms either. : I think a lot of it stems from being a single mom with minimal help coupled with a bit of ppd. Micah is such a handful for me and I just don't think I could handle another without some help....



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nice to see you! what a cute guy! he's looking so old! oh and i'm very impressed by your weekly photos...i would never remember to take a photo every week. i try and remember to take one each month (on the 15th, his birthdate) and probably have only done it twice!
Thanks! I have to admit that they are not always taken right on time, but pretty close -- usually within the week. I got the idea from my dad -- he mentioned it when Micah was 10 days old, thus why there is no '1 week' pic. Its funny how some pics there is a very noticable jump in his looks. I think he has definitely changed a lot.

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Maximom: I know what you mean, I have so many memories of me trying to get some affection from my mother, and I was always "annoying" her. In retrospect, I'm sure she wasn't really the maternal type and should've just not have kids but it was the thing to do at that time in her life.
I could have written that almost word for word. My mom even says that she wasn't cut out for having kids and that....well, a bunch of not nice stuff....On the upside though, our relationship has improved tremendously since getting pregnant with Micah.

Man I am feeling chatty, apparently...

On the side of things, I just wanted to share that I bled for over 9 weeks pp and THEN decides to waltz back at 18 weeks pp and has been regular ever since.....So, while I do slightly feel for those who are changing sides...I am definitely jealous ouf the -free time you have had....

Micah's ready for some :2bfbabe: so gotta go!

Rebekah , single working mom to Micah (04.12.2007)
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#16 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 02:25 AM
 
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Progress is good.

4 days old
5 months old
10 months old and cool as a cucumber

Well... Savannah is losing it here... so as much as I wanna put in my two cents worth about the whole feminism thing, I won't. And it's not probably necessary. You guys already hit the nail on the head, IMO.
So many things, cultural, societal, monetary, etc... all get in the way of how we, in our hearts, know how raise our children -- and how children would be raised best overall -- and that's what we're fighting when we aren't sure if we're doing things "the right way." Wondering if we're bad or good for letting them cry for two minutes or ten minutes, wondering if we should call the doctor, wondering if we're doing it right since it's so different than what's around us (or how we were raised)...
So here's a toast to all of us, who are trying to listen to our hearts and provide the best we can for our babes. I'm feeling lately that it's a long haul, especially when it's the middle of winter. (boo! winter) At least we all have cute pictures to share, of cute babies!!! And a little encouragement from like minded ladies -- what would other generations have given to have what we have?!
**I think I'm feeling sentimental from looking at all those early baby pictures silly silly.

Wife to J. Mama to girly S (4/07), little boy blue E (1/10) and tiny peanut girl due (7/12)

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#17 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 09:48 AM
 
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Romi has been screaming as well if I don't respond immediately. She's so clingy as well, she just follows me everywhere and won't let me do anything without being in my arms. And even in my arms she just grabs everything and makes housechores nearly impossible. Gah, I'm just a complainer today
Maybe I'm about to get af as well? I'm happy she hasn't showed up yet, but I have a feeling it'll be soon...
(sorry, posted by doudat obviously in Feb's thread)

How does that make you feel? Chad and his brothers have said jokingly that they're mad at their mom for circumsizing them and feeding them formula, of course they're not, but I think deep down they wish they had made different decisions. There are things I wish my mom had done differently, like nursed longer (than 6 months) but really, I'm quite proud of her for doing the things she did, especially without much support from family, or fuss from herself. She did bf us, had natural births and didn't circumsize my bro, but honestly I never wish we slept in their bed or didn't vax us, but then again- I grew up in a happy, healthy, stable, loving home with nothing to complain about. I do wish she'd show a little bit more real encouragement for some things that are obviously better- like extended nursing, and really, she doesn't care, but she trivializes things that really matter to me.



Ya, same here. 'Well, I (emphasis on I) didn't do xxx...'
Anyway! Happy March!
Shydaisy, that's a great idea with the teddy- he sure has changed!
You know, I'm hoping we have enough wisdom (or memory) to be supportive of our daughters (or DIL's for some of you!). They will do different things too.

I'm sure we will all be on a board somewhere propping each other up as we talk about our grandkids and how they are being parented.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#18 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 10:25 AM
 
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wow, you are all making such great points about mothering/parenting and the generational differences. you should hear my mil go off about feminism and what it did to the mothering "instinct". most women were told to basically turn it off or put it off and then try and juggle a "man's" roll and a "woman's" roll together. (or it's what she'd say) and i do agree with some of that. i think the idea that women can "have it all" (a career, family, home, etc) does affect something which in most cases is the family/kids. but i don't want to say that and offend people on here who do think they have all of those things successfully, i think it can happen.

one of you said something about the battles you had with being an AP parent. my mom wasn't AP at all but did stay home with us and is very maternal (naturally)... but she did express a lot of hesitation about co-sleeping, extended breast feeding, selected vax, you name it. as a new mom, i found it really hard to do what i felt was right when my mom (whom i very close to) was telling me not to. :

on another note--i'm sorry to hear that your mom has dementia, maximom--do you live near her/have to care for her much?

and doudat--that sounds so hard...no wonder you have no relationship with your mom--i'm sure the fact that she sent you to your dad must create some deep issues... dh and i want to be close to our families and have that network but then we choose to live far from them....makes it hard. we've developed a nice community of like-minded people (we call our vt family) and i think those families are just as important!

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#19 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 10:26 AM
 
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So here's a toast to all of us, who are trying to listen to our hearts and provide the best we can for our babes. I'm feeling lately that it's a long haul, especially when it's the middle of winter. (boo! winter) At least we all have cute pictures to share, of cute babies!!! And a little encouragement from like minded ladies -- what would other generations have given to have what we have?!
**I think I'm feeling sentimental from looking at all those early baby pictures silly silly.


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You know, I'm hoping we have enough wisdom (or memory) to be supportive of our daughters (or DIL's for some of you!). They will do different things too.

I'm sure we will all be on a board somewhere propping each other up as we talk about our grandkids and how they are being parented.
we will... (thanks for including dil)

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#20 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 01:27 PM
 
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Progress is good.

4 days old
5 months old
10 months old and cool as a cucumber

What a serene 4 day old picture!

Well... Savannah is losing it here... so as much as I wanna put in my two cents worth about the whole feminism thing, I won't. And it's not probably necessary. You guys already hit the nail on the head, IMO.
So many things, cultural, societal, monetary, etc... all get in the way of how we, in our hearts, know how raise our children -- and how children would be raised best overall -- and that's what we're fighting when we aren't sure if we're doing things "the right way." Wondering if we're bad or good for letting them cry for two minutes or ten minutes, wondering if we should call the doctor, wondering if we're doing it right since it's so different than what's around us (or how we were raised)...
So here's a toast to all of us, who are trying to listen to our hearts and provide the best we can for our babes. I'm feeling lately that it's a long haul, especially when it's the middle of winter. (boo! winter) At least we all have cute pictures to share, of cute babies!!! And a little encouragement from like minded ladies -- what would other generations have given to have what we have?!
**I think I'm feeling sentimental from looking at all those early baby pictures silly silly.
Thanks! Cheers!

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Originally Posted by krismarie View Post
wow, you are all making such great points about mothering/parenting and the generational differences. you should hear my mil go off about feminism and what it did to the mothering "instinct". most women were told to basically turn it off or put it off and then try and juggle a "man's" roll and a "woman's" roll together. (or it's what she'd say) and i do agree with some of that. i think the idea that women can "have it all" (a career, family, home, etc) does affect something which in most cases is the family/kids. but i don't want to say that and offend people on here who do think they have all of those things successfully, i think it can happen.

True.

one of you said something about the battles you had with being an AP parent. my mom wasn't AP at all but did stay home with us and is very maternal (naturally)... but she did express a lot of hesitation about co-sleeping, extended breast feeding, selected vax, you name it. as a new mom, i found it really hard to do what i felt was right when my mom (whom i very close to) was telling me not to. :

on another note--i'm sorry to hear that your mom has dementia, maximom--do you live near her/have to care for her much?

Thanks, Kris. She is back in Detroit in a care home. It's been difficult as my brother and sister have taken care of everything for her - moving her, battling with her illness and doctors, etc. while I've been so far away. I flew back every three months for the first two years of Max's life and did as much as I could, but bro and sis are still mad that I wasn't there to do more. When Max was born we thought we'd move back east to be closer to family, but that just wasn't going to work out, between way too much pressure from them as to when and finances, it was not in the cards. It has definitely caused a rift, but here I was, just starting a family in a new home and that was my priority. My siblings are alot older than me and lived there, so they had to take responsibility. If I was there and they were elsewhere, I would have taken it on. My parents have been divorced since I was three, so Dad is there to support bro and sis more than anything. And I left my snooty suburb of Detroit for a reason - I never fit in. It's nice to visit, but I'm always glad to be back.


and doudat--that sounds so hard...no wonder you have no relationship with your mom--i'm sure the fact that she sent you to your dad must create some deep issues... dh and i want to be close to our families and have that network but then we choose to live far from them....makes it hard. we've developed a nice community of like-minded people (we call our vt family) and i think those families are just as important!
And like you, we're building a different sort of family here. DH has no relationship with his mother and barely with a couple of his sisters. I agree it is hard having no help, but this is our circumstance and we have adapted to it. I'm very grateful that Max does have a relationship with my Dad and Stepmom, albiet long distance. He asks if it's the end of March yet every day - can't wait to go see them!

BTW - None of my family has visited me since our wedding, and they were reluctant to do that! :

Max and dh are gone for the day, hooray it's just me and Scarlet! What to do?!!
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#21 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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So my Mom is here, right now which is nice. It appears she isn't really advocating letting Desmond CIO, she is just advocating putting him in his own crib. Possibly mild cry it out, but no longer then 10 minutes or so. She actually doesn't really mind us co-sleeping, she co-slept with me till I was about 1 and one of my sisters co-slept till she was 4.

I actually love that my Mom is semi-crunchy, she was the one that suggested delaying and refusing some vaccinations (she thinks there are way too many at this point in time too). She also breastfed us all till almost a year, she stopped with me at 10 months because she was pregnant with my sister, but she even breastfed twins. She also delayed solids till around 6 months. I am really thankful for her, even when she annoys me, since she does have a lot of the AP ideals.


now for pictures:

Desmond in the hospital
(at under an hour old)
At about 6 weeks old

At almost 5 months
Early December (so 8 months)
Last week

He is so big now. And I am getting jealous of pregnant mommas now too.

It looks like we are going to take a vacation to the beach this summer with my parents I think it will be fun and Desmond should love playing in the water. I'm hoping to go to Myrtle Beach or Hilton Head, but I'll have to see what we can get through my parents timeshare.

Sarah nak.gif married to DH Dan (August 2001) dh_malesling.GIF and Mommy to DS Desmond (April 2007) pinktongue.gif, DD Eloise (March 2009) hearts.gif and Sullivan (March 29, 2011) babyboy.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.giflactivist.gifcd.giffamilybed2.gif
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#22 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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I am really appreciating just how open everyone has been about family struggles. Right now we're going through some stuff with extended family as it relates to Ion that is just too difficult for me to share. Hopefully in a few days I can get it out.

So... Kamrin actually said that he would appreciate it if I didn't go on Mothering and tell my DDC all about what we did today. That we should pretend it didn't happen.
Usually I laugh at how he takes a million diapers with us everywhere we go, especially since Ion almost never pees while we're out. Not today. Today I packed 2 diapers in a tiny bag for church. He peed once. He peed again. And then, 30 minutes later, HUGE poop. So I had to go into the nursery and steal a paper diaper. After 10 1/2 months, he wore his first disposable! I don't actually feel bad because it's not like I could have just left him in poop and I'm glad it was there but it's funny. I didn't really know how to put it on and it felt like it was going to tear. Carrying him without the extra padding was odd. I guess I could have left him nakey though because we made it to the hardware store and back home and it was still dry.
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#23 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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Thanks! Cheers!



And like you, we're building a different sort of family here. DH has no relationship with his mother and barely with a couple of his sisters. I agree it is hard having no help, but this is our circumstance and we have adapted to it. I'm very grateful that Max does have a relationship with my Dad and Stepmom, albiet long distance. He asks if it's the end of March yet every day - can't wait to go see them!

BTW - None of my family has visited me since our wedding, and they were reluctant to do that! :

Max and dh are gone for the day, hooray it's just me and Scarlet! What to do?!!
wow, that's rough--a lot of family issues--huh? i'm glad that you and your dh are doing what you need to do/be where you need to be... it's too bad about your sis and bro--it'd be nice if they could see what it would be reversed (if she was near you and they had to fly far to help out)
have a fun day! i love days without dh ...(did i just say that?? YES, did ) i have yet to have a dh and kaylo-free day but it sounds really fun!

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Originally Posted by tabrizia View Post
So my Mom is here, right now which is nice. It appears she isn't really advocating letting Desmond CIO, she is just advocating putting him in his own crib. Possibly mild cry it out, but no longer then 10 minutes or so. She actually doesn't really mind us co-sleeping, she co-slept with me till I was about 1 and one of my sisters co-slept till she was 4.

I actually love that my Mom is semi-crunchy, she was the one that suggested delaying and refusing some vaccinations (she thinks there are way too many at this point in time too). She also breastfed us all till almost a year, she stopped with me at 10 months because she was pregnant with my sister, but she even breastfed twins. She also delayed solids till around 6 months. I am really thankful for her, even when she annoys me, since she does have a lot of the AP ideals.


now for pictures:

Desmond in the hospital
(at under an hour old)
At about 6 weeks old

At almost 5 months
Early December (so 8 months)
Last week

He is so big now. And I am getting jealous of pregnant mommas now too.

It looks like we are going to take a vacation to the beach this summer with my parents I think it will be fun and Desmond should love playing in the water. I'm hoping to go to Myrtle Beach or Hilton Head, but I'll have to see what we can get through my parents timeshare.
wow, your mom does sound really sound crunchy. cute pictures! he sure looks the same now as he did as a little babe! i love the squished pic.
oh vaca with the parents sounds good--you'll probably get lots of nice time with your dh.

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I am really appreciating just how open everyone has been about family struggles. Right now we're going through some stuff with extended family as it relates to Ion that is just too difficult for me to share. Hopefully in a few days I can get it out.

So... Kamrin actually said that he would appreciate it if I didn't go on Mothering and tell my DDC all about what we did today. That we should pretend it didn't happen.
Usually I laugh at how he takes a million diapers with us everywhere we go, especially since Ion almost never pees while we're out. Not today. Today I packed 2 diapers in a tiny bag for church. He peed once. He peed again. And then, 30 minutes later, HUGE poop. So I had to go into the nursery and steal a paper diaper. After 10 1/2 months, he wore his first disposable! I don't actually feel bad because it's not like I could have just left him in poop and I'm glad it was there but it's funny. I didn't really know how to put it on and it felt like it was going to tear. Carrying him without the extra padding was odd. I guess I could have left him nakey though because we made it to the hardware store and back home and it was still dry.
haha! of course it goes like that--didn't you know?? i swear EVERY time i've gone out without extra clothes, the boys have either had blow-out poops or 'accidents' (in kaylo's case). congrats on going sooooo long without a sposie! i'm impressed!! (we use them at night/when we are traveling/when i'm lazy--like right now!)

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#24 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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I am really appreciating just how open everyone has been about family struggles. Right now we're going through some stuff with extended family as it relates to Ion that is just too difficult for me to share. Hopefully in a few days I can get it out.

So... Kamrin actually said that he would appreciate it if I didn't go on Mothering and tell my DDC all about what we did today. That we should pretend it didn't happen.
Usually I laugh at how he takes a million diapers with us everywhere we go, especially since Ion almost never pees while we're out. Not today. Today I packed 2 diapers in a tiny bag for church. He peed once. He peed again. And then, 30 minutes later, HUGE poop. So I had to go into the nursery and steal a paper diaper. After 10 1/2 months, he wore his first disposable! I don't actually feel bad because it's not like I could have just left him in poop and I'm glad it was there but it's funny. I didn't really know how to put it on and it felt like it was going to tear. Carrying him without the extra padding was odd. I guess I could have left him nakey though because we made it to the hardware store and back home and it was still dry.
lol that happened to me once at the pediatrician's office (ok well actually he started peeing on the examining table and I just grabbed the closest thing to cover him - which was his last CD. Great job using only cloth this long though! Actually I had promised myself never to buy another sposie but I bought a teeny pack of sposies and wipes today because I realized sometimes I like to just tuck one in the pocket of my ergo and head out without needing a diaper bag.

THE BITING IS MAKING ME INSANE!!!! I talked to my mom and she says it is just a stage but seriously - EVERY time this child wants my attention he bites every time he is upset he bites..I know he just is trying to communicate but I hope it ends soon!

Johnny has a new hobby - taking all the pots and pans out of the cupboard and then climbing into it lol...at least it keeps him busy while I'm working in the kitchen!

Oh yes and new fave word "uh oh" - so you an guess how that works lol...he actually says "uh oh" BEFORE he drops something lol.

I have been really blessed that my parents are so AP and my DH's live far away LOL. Actually my parents watched the business of being born with me last night...I totally loved it my hubby really needs to see it though...I want a HB next time

I love the pics you all are sharing...will try to get some posted soon - my online time is super limited these days.

Ok he's biting me it must be time to feed him dinner
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#25 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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nice to see ya lilmomma-sorry about the biting--i know what you're going through...

question--when are you in michigan, maximom?? are some of you going to try and meet up?? my work is closing for 3 weeks on march 10 (and even though i only work a couple nights a week, it seems like i have a much more open schedule)

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#26 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 09:43 PM
 
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I'm sick of my sore nipple! It's making me think of weaning....aargh!

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#27 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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question--when are you in michigan, maximom?? are some of you going to try and meet up?? my work is closing for 3 weeks on march 10 (and even though i only work a couple nights a week, it seems like i have a much more open schedule)
yay!
We've been talking about this tonight, about what might be fun for us to do and where to meet. It would be exciting if there were more!

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I'm sick of my sore nipple! It's making me think of weaning....aargh!
I'm so sorry. The biting insanity has cut down our nursing a lot. All we can do is take it one day at a time.
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#28 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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I may have time to acutally get a post in here! I'm so far behind, that by the time I'm done reading, I can't post...
Happy March everyone. Spring will soon be here I hope! I am so sick of winter:
In the
Big mess!
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Micah is just so adorable!


Welcome to March everyone : Spring and birthdays are just around the corner.

:A nerdy reminder about the exchange. Just email me with your address and preferences before the end of the month :


We live and learn, don't we?
My mom defends these types of things so strongly and gets really frustrated when I do things differently. She sees it as a criticism of her love for me or something.
My mother is exactly the same...She feels the need to defend everything she did if I happen to do it differently, and like Queen mentioned, goes on to trivialize what is important. And it's too bad, because I know she really did try to do the best she knew how with the info she had. So I don't think she is a bad mother because I was given cow milk(!!) at 6 weeks. We don't get into it too ,much as we've always butted heads. I am close to my mom, but we drive each other nuts. She is a wonderful grandma though and my children adore her. It's why I couldn't live out west for more than 5 weeks! (well that and the ppd!)

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Micah is so sweet!!
11 months is scary, isn't it? A month away from a year...

Thanks Maximom, without your post I would've stayed on the other thread for a few days wondering where everyone was

As feeling resentment towards my family, well I kinda do. Cause I don't have a relationship with my mother and I always think that if she would have nurtured me, we would , you know? So nursing would've brought us together. As it was, she resented me for a c-section that she didn't want (ironically she wanted a natural birth). And seeing the pictures of me all alone in every picture breaks my heart. Plus I just remember stories of them letting me CIO cause I just cried all the time My whole family is disfunctional... My 2 brothers and my sister (who were all adopted, so obviously wanted) were dealt the same kind of weird rejection-parenting. Anyways, I just spilled my whole life in a paragraph, but my parents were very well educated, not mainstream, but still made really bad choices that affected everyone of us.

Hey, at least they didn't circumcise


I have more to say, but I have to go....AGAIN!
Hopefully I can catch up later

A

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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#29 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 11:52 PM
 
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Finn'smama: looking forward to reading more of your comments. come back and post them.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#30 of 420 Old 03-02-2008, 11:57 PM
 
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March already! I can't believe my baby will be a year in just over a month.

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I saw two pregnant mamas at the library yesterday and was envious! Then I heard them talking about blood tests and ultrasounds - not so envious.
I'm so envious of pregnant ladies too now. I'm really looking forward to our next baby, as soon as my fertility finally returns!

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We live and learn, don't we?
My mom defends these types of things so strongly and gets really frustrated when I do things differently. She sees it as a criticism of her love for me or something.
My mom's the same way - she sees anything I do different as being a criticism of the way she raised us. I am doing a lot of things different - co-sleeping, cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, baby-led solids, no CIO, etc - but like one of the pp said, I'm not at all hung up on the fact that she didn't do those things when I was a baby. What I was affected by were the things that happened later on as far as discipline and such went. My mother and I have a terrible relationship now and I so hope I can avoid that with my own children.

Cynthia, loving my husband Isaac, my silly boy Jacob (Apr 07), my sweet little Luke (Dec 09), and my darling Lily (Aug 12)

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