too big to be carried - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-24-2003, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I used to get so many wonderful comments on wearing my baby. People would say how neat my sling was. How happy he looked. Ect. Now I am getting a new consistent message. People are saying he is too big to carry. These are strangers. It makes me very angry because he is not even a year old yet. Have you ever had someone say this to you? I really don't know how to respond other than just say "No he's not too big. We love to be close."
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Old 09-25-2003, 02:20 AM
 
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I've had family members make snide comments to ds when I've carried him This was when he was three years old. A SIL, for example, once said, "What Liam, are you a baby that your mom needs to carry you around?" I responded with something like, "I'll carry you for as long as you want Liam because I love you and why wouldn't I want to carry you?" She never said it again. Strangers! The nerve of them!
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Old 09-25-2003, 09:32 AM
 
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I get this ALL THE TIME. DS is 8 months old and weighs (probably) around 21 lbs. When people say it, I just start extolling the virtues of my sling, how easy it is, how it takes the pressure off my arms, . I either get them interested or bore them so much that they give up on telling me how I should put my DS (who doesn't walk or crawl, mind you) down.
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Old 09-26-2003, 12:00 AM
 
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what we get is "aren't you lucky" said with a sarcastic tone. or "wow what a nice ride" also said sarcastically.

ds is almost 7 months and about 21 pounds too.

I usually just smile and agree and say that because of the sling it's really comfortable for both of us.

I want to also add that some of it may be because it's a boy thing. you know-since we're supposed to be making our boys tough and carrying them around all the time will make them "too attached":
I have an older daughter and I've really been surprised how differently people behave towards (even babybaby) boys and girls.
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Old 09-26-2003, 12:30 AM
 
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I got that today, actually. My dd#2 turned 2 years old in April. I had her in the sling in the grocery line (at the natural market, mind you) and the lady said, "Oh, you're going to be too big to be in that soon, sweetie!". I said, "Well, it's nice to be close to mommy as long as we can. Certainly better than destroying the grocery store! Heh, heh." The lady didn't respond but my daughter IS tall for her age and I'm short. I got a couple of comments like "Wow, Mommy sure is strong to carry you like that. I couldn't do that!" Bothered me a bit, although I'm sure she was just speaking out of inexperience.:

~Melissa
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Old 09-26-2003, 02:11 AM
 
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Yeah, Jakob is about 23 lbs at 7.5 months and tall also. It just happened the other day, a clerk at the store said, "Oh, he's gonna be too big for that soon." I said, "No, not at all..it's great actually." It really can be annoying I know.

 

 
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Old 09-26-2003, 03:50 PM
 
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a friend of my mom's asked me why i would carry my dd when i could just put her in the cart (we were at walmart).
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Old 09-27-2003, 01:07 PM
 
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I've started to get the unwanted comments when I'm carrying DS in my arms or the sling. He is a "big" (little) guy but he's just barely 7mths and isn't even near walking yet. He does get heavy (22lbs) but if he's in the sling I don't really notice it.
I'd like to gather a few good zingers to use as comebacks to the annoying "You're a big guy/too heavy to be carried/aren't your arms/back tired"...
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Old 09-27-2003, 01:14 PM
 
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& i didn't sling joe, i tried but it hurt my back. i am short & weigh less than 100 lbs. carrying him honestly never bothered me. my mom used to BEG me to put him in his stroller, so it would be easier on me. i could never make her understand that it WOULDN'T be easier.

joe is 4 now & weighs 45-50 lbs. he is TALL too, & sometimes if he is tired i still carry him! i wish i had a dollar for every time someone has said to me, well pretty soon he'll be carrying YOU around. : ha ha, SO clever!
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Old 09-27-2003, 07:14 PM
 
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People say this about my DD and she's only 6 months old!
They're just busybodies, as if they have to carry them.
Or they tell me if I keep carrying her she'll be spoiled and I'll be broken down.
One day I'm going to say something nasty.
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Old 09-27-2003, 09:47 PM
 
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I'm interested in what you'd say, Jeca!

~Melissa
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Old 09-27-2003, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is if I were carrying him on my hip with my arms they wouldn't say anything about how he's too big to be carried. I see people carrying their babies like that at 0, 1, 2, 3 and I think "Wow! You're really doing that the hard way." However, I would never make that comment to them. That would be rude. I guess you can't understand how easy it really is until you do it.

Today I had a nice comment though. A lady in the bathroom was watching me. I'm use to this. To many people a sling is something new and it's normal to be curious. She said "Your amazing! I could never have a baby strapped to me and go to the bathroom and then wash my hands. You make it look so easy!"

I explained to her that it is very easy and that no, I'm not amazing. Anyone can do it and it just takes a little practice.

Then I became sad because using a sling should not be seem like an intimidating feat. It should seem like something you learn when you have a baby. Kinda like when you turn 16 you learn to drive a car.
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Old 09-28-2003, 02:47 AM
 
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Sadly my son IS too big to be carried...... (4 years old)
I've got achy hips and lower back, baby in the belly, and ds is 45 pounds!!!
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Old 09-28-2003, 12:29 PM
 
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No you don't Melissa!

For instance one mamma who told be my 6 month old was too big to be carried dah her big as% five year old in a stroller with his feet dragging the ground and head touching the shade. It took alot not to comment about that!

Most people though do ask me about the sling and comment on how neat it is, especially younger women or mothers. Most of the busybodies tell me how hard I'm making it on myself.
And I've also had quite a few people think my arm was broke because of the sling?!

I do use a stroller also though for long outings. I have a double stroller for long trips with just my youger 2 or all day trips like the zoo. So we use anything and everything that works for us.Sometimes I even bjorn the baby with my 2 yr old in a single stroller but I like the sling the best.
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Old 09-28-2003, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by jeca
And I've also had quite a few people think my arm was broke because of the sling?!
:LOL
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Old 09-28-2003, 06:51 PM
 
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Lol at the broken arm comment! I was teaching a class with dd in the sling (asleep) when she was about 3 mo, and some people came in late...when dd cried to nurse all of a sudden, they went, OMG, I thought you had something wrong with your arm!

on the other topic the grocery store checker said, "you need to teach her how to sit in the cart!" (I had her in the Ergo as usual) and I said, "no, I don't, she likes it in here and I like her here too!" no snappy comeback but it worked.
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Old 09-28-2003, 07:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mama_kass
The thing is if I were carrying him on my hip with my arms they wouldn't say anything about how he's too big to be carried. I see people carrying their babies like that at 0, 1, 2, 3 and I think "Wow! You're really doing that the hard way." However, I would never make that comment to them. That would be rude. I guess you can't understand how easy it really is until you do it.
yes, they would. i could never use a sling but i carried joe all over the place. it truly never bothered me to have him on my hip. people ALWAYS made comments to me, as i said above, i heard umpteen times a day, oh, he'll carry you around soon. : for me, that wasn't the hard way, each person is different. my sister slinged her boys until they were over two.
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Old 09-28-2003, 07:25 PM
 
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Are people telling me that my daughter is too big to be carried?

Yes, and that person is MY DAUGHTER.



I’m so sad. The sling was my way of life as a mother. Using it has enabled me to do so many things that I never would have thought possible as a mother. Now, I don’t know what I’ll do without it.

But my daughter told me flat out yesterday that she was too big for the sling. I’ll pray this is a phase.

BTW, my daughter is 2 (don’t know what she weighs) and she’s the only - albeit the most important – person to comment.
I must say that I don’t think I would find comments like those annoying, depressing – yes, but not annoying.

Back on topic…If I were you, OP, I would just answer, “No, he’s not to heavy for me, but I’m really strong”.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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Old 09-30-2003, 03:38 AM
 
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interesting, I carry my dd everywhere but in a tough traveler frame pack. i've never gotten this type of neg. comment. i wonder what the difference is in poeple's perceptions?
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Old 09-30-2003, 11:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by jeca
No you don't Melissa!

For instance one mamma who told be my 6 month old was too big to be carried dah her big as% five year old in a stroller with his feet dragging the ground and head touching the shade. It took alot not to comment about that!
This reminded me of something else...I frequently get the comment about "getting too big for the sling" from people hauling around the bucket car seats with a baby Aaron's size. Like it's somehow easier to carry a 20-lb. baby in a 10-lb. piece of plastic than it is to just carry the 20-lb. baby in your arms or a sling? :

When these parents ask me why I would sling my baby, I usually say something like, "well, he outgrew his car seat around 3 months - he was already 26", can you believe it? Since those seats aren't safe after they get to be that tall, we had to get a rear-facing seat that stays in the car, and I needed a way to get him around...now we just love it!" I hope it gets some people to check their height limits on their car seats! (They don't have to know we used the sling from the beginning!)
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