February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-24-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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I'm a (step)grandma and an oaf. When we got the news of DSD-17's c/s I roared about how angry I was and totally overlooked the fact that Mr Toona was estatic about his new grandson. So yesterday instead of two happy grandparents, it was at first me: and him: I really can be thoughtless sometimes. But then we called in DSS-8 and DSD-6, told them their nephew was born, they promptly asked: "is it a boy or a girl" : and there was excitement again.

I didn't get to talk to her very long, but she's having trouble latching him, and about the birth she said "it was awful." I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?

ETA: off to read the other replies...

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Old 06-24-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?
.
a yoga ball (if she doesn't already have one) and a CD of putumayo's african playground

the combo is absolutely magical for a cranky baby. she won't believe it without seeing it any more than i did.

also a sling if she doesn't have one, but choice of style, fabric etc. is kind of a personal choice, so i don't think it would make as good of a surprise.

please be gentle with yourself; you've been dealing with your own birth trauma the last few days so it's only natural that you'd react the way you did to dsd's c/s.

sorry i've been mia and i so appreciate all the well wishes, i'm just not ready to talk about my own life much just yet.
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Old 06-24-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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dang I feel lile I dropped off the face of the earth been super busy no time to post but hopefully I have some time now. things are good here jackson is sweet as ever. gonna go back and read now and post more later!!

Cheryl, proud mama to Jackson... and a baby on the way!
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Old 06-24-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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NOS, good to see you.

Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.

Teeny I personally think you should send her a vast quantity of chocolate, a copy of Breeder by Ariel Gore (or a subscription to Hipmama, or both), a single copy of Mothering, lots of scrumptious bath and shower stuff, IOU's for babysitting, a listening ear on the end of the phone, etc. and a beautiful nursing necklace. Any or all of the above

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:20 PM
 
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Now I'm wondering if my brain will ever feel normal again. : I mean I'm still perceiving things oddly, and I find that so disturbing.
I don't mean to laugh, but if I had a dollar for every time I heard that... I'm not sure what you did, but I can assure you that you aren't broken... maybe just a little time and processing is all you need. Altered states are nothing to be taken lightly, as you have well found out... however I do believe that SOMETIMES, it's just what mother nature ordered.
Sometimes perceptions NEED to shaken up a little, but maybe that's just me, lol.
I never could do those things in large crowds... they are better left to a small intimate group (or couple) in nature... Crowds always messed me up/left me feeling wack.

Different drummer dancing with 3 kids in 3 decades.
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:23 PM
 
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Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.
I'm not sure, truth be told. I was dosed with something. Most of the people I've asked seem to think it was acid; one thought perhaps opium, and my sister seems to think it sounds like a candy flip. : From the little bit of research I've managed, I think at this point that my sister is correct in thinking that it was either a candy flip or a combination of E and roofies. : :

It makes *me* feel old and square. And, as I said before, nowhere near cool enough for Gaian Mind. Not. Even. Close. I mean, even if I was going to do crazy stuff (and I wasn't and wouldn't), I would never, ever, ever do such a thing less than 12 hours before I was planning to drive home. No, I was dosed. The little boy who worked staff said that it probably wasn't malicious at all, that the person who shared (if it was in fact deliberate-- it may have been entirely accidental) probably thought that I knew what I was doing, that I was on that level because it was, after all, Gaian Mind and that sort of thing goes down... but I am SO not on that level and never have been.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:29 PM
 
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I'm not sure, truth be told. I was dosed with something.
Now THAT's NOT COOL... I would NEVER go to a fest or the like if I thought I was going to be unwillingly (or without permission) dosed with ANYTHING... what if you WERE bfing or pg? that's totally not cool imo. NOT COOL.

I always ask if someone offers me candy or chocolate or cookies or drinks or an herbal spritz or ANYTHING... I'd say that my peaceful side would LOSE IT if someone was being "secretly generous". In fact, I'd be pissed and the world would know it was given to me without permission.

I'd be "off" too!!! Sorry you had to deal with that.

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Old 06-24-2008, 09:34 PM
 
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Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.
: I'm so sad to admit that I don't even know what candy flip is. It's never been my culture, either, but at least I used to know all the terms. \

Teeny, I would guess that the most important thing she needs is just to talk it all out...especially to someone like you who has just been through birth and can truly empathize with the emotions involved. Send her a phone card and tell her to call A LOT!

As for us, Molly turned 4 mos yesterday, and had a well-baby visit today...15 pounds (75%tile) and 25 in (90%tile). We grow em big here in our house! She still seems tiny to me, though. DS was big, too, and people's comments about it would always bother me because I always thought, "well, he may be bigger than most other babies his age, but he is smaller today than he will ever be again!" I guess that I am over it pretty well by now, though people don't really say it about DD.
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:08 PM
 
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:

NOS Sometimes, in your relationship with your DS1 I can see me and Isaac. .
please get yourself a copy of hold on to your kids by gordon neufeld. i know, i know, i had every excuse in the book: i was waiting my turn for the library copy before it got stolen and i was constantly being reminded that I spent "too much" money on books for someone who couldn't find a job and wasn't getting child support so I put it off and put it off until it felt like reading an autopsy by the time I finally got my hands on it.

You and Isaac still have time to turn things around. it's not too late, Helen; it doesn't have to end this waY.
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Teenytoona View Post
I'm a (step)grandma and an oaf. When we got the news of DSD-17's c/s I roared about how angry I was and totally overlooked the fact that Mr Toona was estatic about his new grandson.

I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?
oh my gosh. i completely understand your anger. it was so predictable. uh oh big baby, must induce you now, oops induction not working/messing up, time for a c-section.

i would have been pissed off too!

care package ideas... badger balms are awesome!!! http://www.badgerbalm.com/pc-397-13-...bies-moms.aspx

maybe a nursing necklace... maybe a call to an LC or La Leche to make sure she gets help nursing? big hugs for you!!

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Old 06-25-2008, 03:06 AM
 
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I don't mean to laugh, but if I had a dollar for every time I heard that... I'm not sure what you did, but I can assure you that you aren't broken... maybe just a little time and processing is all you need. Altered states are nothing to be taken lightly, as you have well found out... however I do believe that SOMETIMES, it's just what mother nature ordered.
Oh, certainly. I freely admit that I rather enjoyed the feeling: it was the not knowing that really threw me out of whack. I felt myself start to get paranoid/scared a few times, but the fellow who got me back to my tent helped me calm down. I trusted him implicitly.. though that was probably the drugs, it turns out that said trust was well placed. (Yeah, I'm also lucky, have I mentioned?)

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Now THAT's NOT COOL... I would NEVER go to a fest or the like if I thought I was going to be unwillingly (or without permission) dosed with ANYTHING... what if you WERE bfing or pg? that's totally not cool imo. NOT COOL.

I always ask if someone offers me candy or chocolate or cookies or drinks or an herbal spritz or ANYTHING... I'd say that my peaceful side would LOSE IT if someone was being "secretly generous". In fact, I'd be pissed and the world would know it was given to me without permission.

I'd be "off" too!!! Sorry you had to deal with that.
I don't think it was malicious, if it was even deliberate; Given the circumstances, it's entirely possible that it was accidental. If it was deliberate, again, it probably wasn't a deliberate attempt to harm me. As the little boy working staff said, they probably thought I was on that level just because I was there. "It's Gaian Mind," he said, as though that explained everything. Mama Dragon had the same opinion. Everyone knew that I was not the sort to willingly do that sort of thing, though; Everyone who knew me, that is. So I didn't have to defend myself, or get laughed at or anything like that... they were all super sweet and concerned, because they know that I just don't do that sort of thing. Everyone was extra cool with me while I tried to collect my senses (I went to sleep around 3 a.m., woke up still quite trippy around eleven). The guy who took me back to my tent, for example, refused to stay and snuggle even though I begged him not to leave me alone-- he said that I'd probably pass out as soon as someone wasn't talking to me, and that he couldn't take advantage of someone who was messed up, to say nothing of someone who was messed up beyond her personal threshold. When I argued that I only wanted snuggles, he said that he knew himself better than that.

But yeah, everyone was very cool to me. I have real friends there. It's nice.


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: I'm so sad to admit that I don't even know what candy flip is. It's never been my culture, either, but at least I used to know all the terms.
A combination of acid and ecstasy. I'm sure the ecstasy/roofie combo also has a cutsie rave name, but I don't know it. :

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 03:17 AM
 
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i accidentally dosed myself at burning man 2005, lazlo was still ebf. i knew better but still ate a piece of candy from an art installation. about two minutes later i was like, that candy was actually not sweet and didn't have any branding i recognize. oops. i made myself puke and about fifteen minutes later felt myself start to get trippy.

i made my way back to camp. they contacted rangers who contacted medical staff... apparently it is safe to nurse after getting dosed luckily the trip remained very mild but it really sucked to get something like that when not expecting it.

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Old 06-25-2008, 05:15 AM
 
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Oh Rynna

NOS, for some reason I've always resisted reading HOTYK- maybe now's the right time for us? I have a months free trial on amazon prime and am using (and abusing) it.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-25-2008, 05:42 AM
 
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I am sorry that happend to you Rynna! I hope you are feeling better soon.!


NOS
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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s: NOS...I hope you join us again soon.

s: Rynna..that totally sucks, esp since you weren't prepared. I hope you get back to normal soon.

Teeny...I am sorry you sdd is having a hard time. I agree, send her a phone card and make sure a LC is going to see her.


So our elimination diet is helping. He is still spitting up but not as phlemy, and he has pooped a lot and it is not a phlemy either....YAY! So i am going to stay on this for the month...right now we are 9 days. I may not reintroduce based on that my bdd has the same allergies. i will probably wait until a year...but I will probably wean then too.

Allyn birthmom to S 3/12/03, placed in open adoption 4/06, married to W 6/22/07, mama to H 2/5/08, mama to M 8/26/12.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:33 PM
 
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OH Allyn! YAY!! Good to hear of some improvement. You rock on Momma!

NOS we're thinking of you.

Ugh Rynna on the dosing thing. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi back at you firecat!

Thanks for the ideas all! I think I'm going to do a yoga ball and maybe some sort of hipmama thing for DSD, but I'm going to wait until Mr Toona and I can go together to pick something out. He reeally ought to have some input here as I've totally overshadowed/ lashed out on him ALOT lately due to birth anger.

Ok, so I know Rynna and Peace Laughing are those who've got their inner freak/geek/wild woman side hiding. I'm a little scaredy cat of those cool fesitvals due to the sort of thing Rynna's experiencing. I think I'd really love to try the Michigan Women's Music Fest one day.... I think there are a few others, but I need to add myself to that group. I've got that side of me that's busting to come out. Perhaps especially since the momma/grandmomma thing. Man could I go for somethign like that Rynna. I'm so vicariously living through you (in what little hints you give, I like to add my own details to your stories,, heh). Man I really need a drinkin' night!

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Old 06-25-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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i accidentally dosed myself at burning man 2005, lazlo was still ebf. i knew better but still ate a piece of candy from an art installation. about two minutes later i was like, that candy was actually not sweet and didn't have any branding i recognize. oops. i made myself puke and about fifteen minutes later felt myself start to get trippy.

i made my way back to camp. they contacted rangers who contacted medical staff... apparently it is safe to nurse after getting dosed luckily the trip remained very mild but it really sucked to get something like that when not expecting it.
Exactly-- and I've *never* been expecting it. Hence my acknowledgement that I am simply not cool enough for Gaian Mind. But no, I didn't eat or drink anything that had been given to me by an untrustworthy source. It was either something in a little purple pipe (my sister says it's very common for people to soak pot in ecstasy & acid and let it dry before they smoke it) or a tab that rubbed off onto me (sweat, rain, dancing... yeah), or a kiss or who knows what. I mean the possible mechanisms of delivery are wide open. Which explains, of course, why the young fellow didn't dance much, and spent all of his time working in the kitchen or at Dragons or at registration. Is it weird that a fifteen year old kid who doesn't do drugs was way more on the up-and-up than I?

I'm glad I wasn't breastfeeding.. but if I was, I'd have had Bear and/or Bella with me, so I probably wouldn't have gotten as far from my tent as I did.

I am still riding the wave. : My life has been intensely crazy for some time now, but at least I'm feeling positively about it. People like me; I have friends, I get out of the house and socialize with people who know that I am a mother but don't think of me as, exclusively, a mother, because they themselves are more multifaceted than that. The woman who runs the kitchen, for example, is a tattoo artist, loves psy-trance (Gaian Mind is her favorite festival), has loads of piercings, and is nursing her 15 month old (the three year old has been weaned-- she was a twiddler ). Something which totally tickled me pink: I ran into her daughter before I left, and I was wearing the bag in which I carry my tarot cards. She pointed to the bag, eyes wide and sparkly and said, "Are your cards in there?!" and when I said yes, she wanted to draw one. I was just tickled to be in a place where a three year old would recognize a bag as being the right size to have a deck of tarot cards in it. And know what to do with them! So adorable. She and her aunt (who is about six) each drew a card, and told the woman who was watching them that she needed to draw as well.

Yeah see, I'm still kinda rambly. My sister said it was like, a couple of months after she dropped before she was totally clear again. Her story, when I asked, "Have you ever dropped?": "One year, for new year's eve, our school had us all sign a contract saying that we wouldn't drink alcohol or smoke pot, we'd just have a good time. So, we all got together and dropped acid." Way to obey the spirit of the law.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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Ok, so I know Rynna and Peace Laughing are those who've got their inner freak/geek/wild woman side hiding. I'm a little scaredy cat of those cool fesitvals due to the sort of thing Rynna's experiencing. I think I'd really love to try the Michigan Women's Music Fest one day.... I think there are a few others, but I need to add myself to that group. I've got that side of me that's busting to come out. Perhaps especially since the momma/grandmomma thing. Man could I go for somethign like that Rynna. I'm so vicariously living through you (in what little hints you give, I like to add my own details to your stories,, heh). Man I really need a drinkin' night!
While I won't be going back to GM as things stand now, I'm SO glad to have found the Farm, and to be attending festivals. I'm also glad that I got utterly trashed at Wickerman-- it broke down some serious barriers I've had up for years and left me free. It's so brilliant to be able to discuss my views on love and sex and have people understand and accept them. It's brilliant to be able to do that with everything! I really haven't been happier in recent memory. Even the unexpected trip had positive effects; I learned that the people I'd started thinking of as friends really *were* friends. I'm totally basking in the love and reflecting love of my own. It's fantastic.

I wonder when the glitter wears off. I mean I've heard that it can and does for some people. Ah, who cares-- I'm going to fully enjoy it while it lasts.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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So, we all got together and dropped acid." Way to obey the spirit of the law.
Go DARE program!

I'm pretty up front with my kids about all that I've done. I know that people get into WAY more trouble with alcohol than A LOT of other things, psychedelics especially. I consider them a spiritual tool anyway, more than some illicit drug for recreational use only. They are of little use if that is the only application. As it is, my nearly 20 year old has had her time of exploration and has happily come out the other side, no worse for wear, and with NO interest for the hard stuff.
You are right about the possibility of accidental dosing. Acid seems to be pretty likely, as it comes off and absorbs so easily. Mushrooms have to be ingested (and you can taste them no matter what) Ecstasy isn't that volatile. Acid is easily absorbed right through the skin.

On a completely different note: We are on DAY ONE of our summer camping extravaganza!!! It's a crappy dust storm filled day, so fishing in the reservoir and hiking the hills will have to wait. We have a lovely empty campground all to ourselves. I'm totally stoked about this whole living in the RV thing, albeit a little nervous. I'll try to get some pics up soon, or at least get my blog link active so that you all can take a peak at my non-conventional lifestyle. (even for mdc )

We are doing a postcard swap with my March DDC, I'm loving the idea. Would that be of interest to anyone here?

Different drummer dancing with 3 kids in 3 decades.
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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Yay postcards!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:56 PM
 
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i would totally be in for postcards!! we just did a random swap and it was awesome. we made our own cards with a picture of us on it and some artwork from lazlo.

ps~ if anyone does nordic naturals i'm in a co-op with GREAT prices pm me for the addy (is this against the rules?? if it is let me know and i'll delete it)

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Old 06-25-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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Ok, so I know Rynna and Peace Laughing are those who've got their inner freak/geek/wild woman side hiding. I'm a little scaredy cat of those cool fesitvals due to the sort of thing Rynna's experiencing. I think I'd really love to try the Michigan Women's Music Fest one day.... I think there are a few others, but I need to add myself to that group. I've got that side of me that's busting to come out. Perhaps especially since the momma/grandmomma thing. Man could I go for somethign like that Rynna. I'm so vicariously living through you (in what little hints you give, I like to add my own details to your stories,, heh). Man I really need a drinkin' night!

oh, i hope you can go! be sure to bring Nara and any stepdaughters that can go. i was so going to figure out a way to get to michfest back when i thought Terran was going to be a girl and before dd's relationship became quite so serious. it's very kid-friendly (well, girl friendly) from what i hear and so empowering.

other than one rainbow gathering, i haven't been much of a fest-goer, but i love living vicariously.

Rynna, i think "months" is a bit pessimistic. i gave up the acid because it was just taking me too long to process and come down at 19 compared to 14. i'm not sure if age was why or whether it was just being less open to such things and more "calcified". i don't have much to add to what the others have already said.


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Yay postcards!
yay! i'm in, but i'd like a nice chunk of time to do mine up as a real conceptual art piece, like on post secret. the last time i fell in love, it was on the back of a postcard, and i've been thinking about the crazy things we used to do and how much fun it would be to make just one for someone who could appreciate it.

Teeny, i owe you a PM and a package; hopefully i'll get to that in the next few days. i'm as @$$hole; i hate it when i disappear.
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Old 06-25-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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oh, i hope you can go! be sure to bring Nara and any stepdaughters that can go. i was so going to figure out a way to get to michfest back when i thought Terran was going to be a girl and before dd's relationship became quite so serious. it's very kid-friendly (well, girl friendly) from what i hear and so empowering.

other than one rainbow gathering, i haven't been much of a fest-goer, but i love living vicariously.

Rynna, i think "months" is a bit pessimistic. i gave up the acid because it was just taking me too long to process and come down at 19 compared to 14. i'm not sure if age was why or whether it was just being less open to such things and more "calcified". i don't have much to add to what the others have already said.




yay! i'm in, but i'd like a nice chunk of time to do mine up as a real conceptual art piece, like on post secret. the last time i fell in love, it was on the back of a postcard, and i've been thinking about the crazy things we used to do and how much fun it would be to make just one for someone who could appreciate it.

Teeny, i owe you a PM and a package; hopefully i'll get to that in the next few days. i'm as @$$hole; i hate it when i disappear.
NOS, no worries at all. I was just concerned about you. I vanish alot IRL to my friends, so I understand.

As for MWMF I think it will have to wait until at least a year from now as I don't have any vacation left. But it might be longer than that as I work up the nerve to go. I just really think it sounds so lovely - a place that's all women. Just for a weekend, ya know?

ETA: New Grandson and DSD

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Old 06-25-2008, 04:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post
Rynna, i think "months" is a bit pessimistic. i gave up the acid because it was just taking me too long to process and come down at 19 compared to 14. i'm not sure if age was why or whether it was just being less open to such things and more "calcified". i don't have much to add to what the others have already said.
Thing is, LSD is like, fat soluble. It stands to reason that someone with more chub would take longer to come down, as there is a lot more fat for the stuff to be absorbed in, and then slowly leak out. Every person I've had tell me that it took a long time to come down was on the rounder side, while the people who said it was only a matter of days/weeks were all slimmer. Note to self: Lose body fat before trying acid. :

I'm mostly clear, just... not quite right. Ever have a TV that was dying, so that the picture was kind of stretched in odd places, and the colors around the edges were wrong? Yeah, everything looks like that. I have such mixed feelngs about it all. Like, I'd have wanted to do research before trying this.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 05:54 PM
 
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Yeah, postcard swap!

Rynna, sorry you're feeling trippy still. Try to enjoy it, if possible! Julie, ITA about hallucinogens being a great spiritual tool. I have been itching to take some shrooms for the last few years, but I've been either pregnant or nursing all the time, so scratch that!

So Twyla had her first sibling related injury today. The first of many, I'm sure. Marley (3) was using a broken string of plastic beads as a whip while pretending to be "the girl Indiana Jones." I didn't know about it until I heard Twyla wailing. She had been playing on the floor in the next room where Marley was. She got a nice red mark on her face just above her eye. Needless to say, whipping has been banned in the house.
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:20 PM
 
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Is it awful that I don't count such injuries unless there's blood drawn?

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:33 PM
 
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Well, after spending yesterday trying to get through this monster thread of ours, I decided if I was ever going to post again I'd better skip a few pages (ok, like 10 or 12 pages ) and just see what happened in the last couple of days.

Rynna, interesting times are afoot every month with you! I'm jealous! But at the same time I don't know if I could handle such a mind altering thing right now, I've got too much to second-guess....

We went camping (Jackson's first camping trip!) last weekend and it totally brought back memories of so many other camping trips and music and festivals... It was a lot of fun, a little stressful at the end of the evening, but I'll be more prepared next time and all in all it was good for all of us. Jackson loves being outside so he had a blast.

I can't believe our babies are so big! and are doing so many things!

I think we are finally over the nap hump here. I finally found a routine that's working, at least for now! Whew!

Jackson is teething too, chewing on everything!! Although he doesn't seem to be in much pain yet. A friend of mine gave me some Hylands teething tablets, does anyone have experience with those? I haven't needed to use them yet.

I finally cleaned up the hand-me-down high chair we got so Jackson can sit and hang out with us while we eat. He loves being up at our level now!! He is interested in anything we have in our hands, not food specifically yet though.

My mom and my brother are coming to visit for the weekend, so I am busy trying to get the house cleaned up (wish me luck!!).

Cheryl, proud mama to Jackson... and a baby on the way!
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:05 PM
 
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Oh Teeny, they're wonderful. That fantastic little-wise-old-man look that newborns have

applecore I have no idea how we've escaped SRI's in this house, but somehow we have. Personally I think River has the jedi mind trick down, as I've noticed bad things happen to his siblings when they're being a bit rough a bit close to him The force is strong in this one...

Rynna, whilst obviously, as a happily divorced woman whose ex still stalks her round the internet occasionally, I have never tried any illicit substances whatsoever I hear from a very good friend that it took longer for her to come down from an acid trip when she was skinnier. I'd seriously consider a liver cleanse and/or juice fast though, as well as adding obscene quantities of milk thistle to your diet : Can't hurt, might do some good.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:39 PM
 
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Teeny, he is gorgeous, but she just has me jonesing for a grandbaby of my own! she's simultaneously child and mother and so exquisite as both. love her up lots for me and be warned that i've seen the medical induatry sabatoge breastfeeding teens every bit as badly as they do birthing teens.

she needs you every bit as much as Nara does right now, maybe even more.

What a gorgeous picture! thank you so much for sharing.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:31 PM
 
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I'd love to do postcards!

ITA about the psych's.... I'm not cool enough, and too old to know about the trendy names of stuff. But the spiritual use of them is how to enjoy them. Sorry you had an unexpected trip Rynna. I've never been to any of the festivals anywhere.... either I didn't have the right friends or the timing wasn't right. I've been stuck for so long with friends IRL that I always keep one part or another hidden. Some friends I could talk tarot, astro, etc all day but not talk about pot or stuff. Then cuz I do everything kinda backwards, I went to college a few years ago cuz it was a spiritual, meditation type place and found that even an untypical private college had drugs (much to the disappointment of the administrators ). That was when i really got to explore such things, but I stuck to mj and shrooms, the other stuff is too hard core for me, maybe if I was younger..... Only once since finding out I was preg last year have I partaken anything, a little pot back in April. I was back in IA visiting friends and one guys wife doesn't smoke so I let her care for DD while I got to relax. Oh, it was so awesome. I could see so much and feel so much more that I had forgotten about and many things became clear to me too that night.

I've gotta ask though while we are on the subject of trips, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had trippy experiences around birth.... When I finally got to sleep after DD was born, I had some of the most amazing dreams, very geometrical and stuff (and I am so not a math or geometrical person!). It was like I could see everything in the universe shifting to make room for DD to be here. I can't say that I was drug free cuz I had been given 2 doses in the epi, 1 for birth and the other to sew up my 3 tears, and I was on that wicked mag sulfate for my dangerously high BP. But really, I think that these dreams were so completely pure and the substances played no part.

In other news, we had our 4 month WBV yesterday. DD is 4 months today. She is 95th for weight and height and 90th for her head. So she's a big girl. Kinda funny cuz I'm just a bit more than petite and DP is far from big and burly. I'm guessing she's just going to grow a bunch quickly and then it will slow later. But she's got the chunkiest thighs.... oh I love them so much! But the Ped was cool. They don't recommend solids before 8 months even with formula babies, and I think she is pro EBF for longer, but we didn't discuss it. And when I told her that I was delaying vax, and maybe even never vax-ing she was cool. I am more on the side of no vax, but because DD does have lots of relatives from her fathers side in Kenya and India, if we were to go visit, I'd feel more comfortable I think if she were protected from a few things. The big one the Ped recommended was polio. So there was no pushiness about delay or selective vax. So I'll go to her again.

DP has settled again.... I'm staying for now. If things get really bad or don't improve by fall, then I'm out. But I really want to give it a chance. Our situation and story is so complicated in so many ways with family, culture and the surprise of DD when neither of us had any income to support a family. Tons of pressure.

Gotta run.... DD is HUNGRY!
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