February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 16 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-28-2008, 12:19 PM
 
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I have so many people I want to respond to, but not enough time. I will just say that I have been loving the pics of all the babies. SO cute! And Sarah, the pooping tiger was hilarious! And hi to the gals we haven't seen in awhile- you've been missed!

So someone kick me for thinking that I might finally get a break and be blessed with a good sleeper. After months of having Twyla go down around 8 and stay asleep until 4 or 5 and then not wake 'til morning, we have entered the very little sleep zone. Yesterday she didn't nap, just slept for a combined time of about 30 minutes during a couple of car trips. Then I put her down, and she woke 3 times before I went to bed. And after the last time, she stayed awake for an hour or more talking and sucking her toes while I tried to ignore her and go to sleep. Yay. Things have been getting progressively worse, and I fear it's not just a phase. My other two were like this for YEARS. Oh, well, atleast I've done it before, so I know I can do it again. I was just getting so spoiled with all that uninterrupted sleep!
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Old 06-28-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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I agree that a board this active is a blessing and a curse... I love that we're all still hanging together and supporting each other; at the same time, it's easy to get lost and be missed! I manage it by subscribing to the thread and having a daily update -- then I read through most of the posts and can stay caught up. I don't catch everything though sorry I missed some baby booboos and other big deal issues. I'm glad everyone is around, though.

Robin is at least 16 lbs right now. She has the chunkiest thighs -- she is on the largest setting on her one size diapers!! AT 4 MONTHS!!!! I don't know what I'll do if she outgrows them (she has plenty of room in the rise, but her fat legs keep on growing ahead of the curve). I'm hoping that she'll slim down or stop growing so fast once she's more mobile. She's starting to try to creep around, I can't believe it!! Go here for a video and some recent pics.

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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Old 06-28-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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Smokey: Cute video! Molly and Robin are almost the exact same age, but Robin looks much stronger on her belly that Molly is! Hummm, maybe we should be doing more tummy time?

Apple: I HEAR you on the sleep thing. Molly has been ok so far, but so was DS. But, around 7/8 mos., all hell broke loose with DS's sleep, and, long story short, we didn't get an uninterrupted night's sleep until after DS's 2nd birthday. Molly had a couple of rough nights last week, and I was terrified that it was the beginning of the end for sleep. Then she had pretty good nights of sleep over the past few nights, but last night was rough again. I am completely terrified that one bad night will turn into a week, which becomes a couple of weeks, then a couple of months, then we are right back where we were with DS...clueless and sleepless in St. Louis.

Why is the sleep thing so hard?? I am completely an AP mom and completely against CIO, but I don't understand why my mainstream moms kiddos never wake at night, and so many of our babies seem to wake endlessly?!! OK, well I know that their babies aren't crying for mom because they know mom won't come, but why do our little AP babies so often have trouble with deep sleeping patterns?? What is it?
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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Laurencute pics & video!!!

Helen that is to funny!!!

I made a cake today and after I got done frosting it I decided to lick the spoon : Ashlee was in her RS and grabbed the spoon and shoved it as fast as she could in her mouth. It was soooo funny, take a look at the pic of chocolate girl She didn't get much into her mouth,

Chocolate girl
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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I made a cake today and after I got done frosting it I decided to lick the spoon : Ashlee was in her RS and grabbed the spoon and shoved it as fast as she could in her mouth. It was soooo funny, take a look at the pic of chocolate girl She didn't get much into her mouth,

Chocolate girl
That is super cute!

Cynthia

Wife to Matt. Mom to Alex (2/8/08). Expecting our second (2/6/12).

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Old 06-28-2008, 04:15 PM
 
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Oh, I put a new video of Grace in my sig, totally unrelated to this group, but I think she's hilarious and those with older kids can probably appreciate this phase. Plus you get to see my sexy husband!
to cute!!!
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Old 06-28-2008, 04:37 PM
 
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Why is the sleep thing so hard?? I am completely an AP mom and completely against CIO, but I don't understand why my mainstream moms kiddos never wake at night, and so many of our babies seem to wake endlessly?!! OK, well I know that their babies aren't crying for mom because they know mom won't come, but why do our little AP babies so often have trouble with deep sleeping patterns?? What is it?
I think you're suffering under a misapprehension about what constitutes "sleeping through the night" if you think that most mainstream kids are doing so at four months. That said, of my four AP kiddos, only one *wasn't* sleeping through the night at this age. Today at 27 months, Bella *still* wakes during the night fairly often. Sleep things:

BeanBean: Woke to nurse after about five hours of sleep at this age. This meant that if I put him down at a reasonable hour, like six, I'd nurse him when I went to bed at eleven and then again just before Mike got up for work. I count it as "sleeping through the night" because he was fine and I got plenty of rest. He had a hard time putting himself to sleep, and only rested next to a person... but once he was asleep, he'd stay that way.

BooBah: Slept through the night and did not need to wake me *at all* to nurse. While BeanBean needed me to pull out a boob, allowing me to roll over and put him on the other side nursie, BooBah could latch on in the dark without either of us waking if the boob was remotely close to being exposed. I can remember falling asleep in a nightshirt and thinking she'd surely have to wake me to get to the boob (it was a real problem, I'd wake up with one flat boob and one huge, swollen, leaking, painful boob). I woke up in the morning and BooBah was firmly attached to the nipple, eyes closed and in all other ways in the same position she'd been in when I passed out. BooBah could put herself to sleep if she wanted to, but she liked to have a nursie first.

Bear: Prefers a little less stimulation than his siblings. Bear will cry if I'm holding him and he's uncomfortable... but I could put him down right beside me and he'll get his thumb and pass out. He sleeps until he rolls out of bed (happens most nights). After that, he usually gets his thumb and goes right back to sleep.

And Bella, like I said... well, she was a screamer. AP is not about rules, ladies, it's about paying attention to your kid. Conventional AP wisdom says that I should be able to get Bear to sleep in the sling if nowhere else... but he's so much happier if I leave him the heck alone for a moment. He's never cried more than a minute or two (literally) and after that he gets his thumb and gets calm, and sleeps. Sometimes a kid needs to be left alone.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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I was a wild child back in the day but i'm actually pretty conservative in my mommyhood. I don't know if my inner freak will try to get out again or not.

James just started sitting yesterday too. He can go as long as a minute but it's usually just a few seconds. I like the sitting stage. they can have more independent play and be more involved in things but still not quite mobile!
Yeah, I am with you on mommyhood bringing out my more conservative side (although my inner freak has been in hiding some many years already)... but secretly longs to break out. I am also looking forward to Hillel sitting unsupported for longer periods of time to have more independent play

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wow emily, that is possibly the most awsome post ever! I think you hit everyone that's posted in the last several pages! this is the skinny minny .
yip, and what a cutie!!

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We had a fun night tonight - Alex sat up unsupported for the first time!
How exciting... still waiting for Hillel to do this

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Originally Posted by Jezzy View Post
Too gorgeous!!!

eilonwy - Great to get such perspective on the sleep issue. Hillel has been having real problems sleeping in the last couple of days... it really sees like he is suffering and something keeps waking him up.... Poor boy, I wish there was more I could do to soothe him

Was needing to post about DH having a really tough time being a new dad, but will have to tomorrow. Hillel has just woken up again and requires mum NOW

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:38 PM
 
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Oh raina, i hope twyla passes thru this quickly and sleep returns to your house!!

lauren, i can't believe how close she is to crawling, she's ready to move! I'm glad you are all back home safely and i'm sure she'll thin out/slow down as she gets mobile.

helen, that's hilarious. grace likes to pat my back so i can burp. 2y/os are so into body functions!! i love that she even shook it up!

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Originally Posted by lovetobemama View Post
Why is the sleep thing so hard?? I am completely an AP mom and completely against CIO, but I don't understand why my mainstream moms kiddos never wake at night, and so many of our babies seem to wake endlessly?!! OK, well I know that their babies aren't crying for mom because they know mom won't come, but why do our little AP babies so often have trouble with deep sleeping patterns?? What is it?
i struggle with this too. i will not do cio but boy would i love my kids to sleep all night! my sis did cio with her kids and they are pretty good sleepers. i guess 1 still gets up in the night. i agree with rynna that it's about listening to your baby but it does seem like more mainstream people have kids that will just lay down, go to sleep, and stay asleep!

Sharun, thanks and that is too funny. "What was Ashlee's first food?" "Umm, cake batter" raw eggs, sugar, chocolate : James has been grabbing at my plate and glasses and things lately too.

ema-adami hope things aren't too rough for your husband. i'll be watching for your post. james is now sitting pretty well, all in a matter of 3 days so you never know when it will happen, i'm sure it won't be too long. and thanks!

me, i got the kids' pictures done today. i'm really excited to see them, i'm sure there are some really great ones! we went to the lady that did my pregnancy pics. i also splurged (i never buy for myself) and got a nursing tank. i really like it, it's motherhood's new style i guess.

Sarah-wife, mother, doula, and teacher.
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Old 06-29-2008, 01:21 AM
 
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SmokeyLo the pics are so cute! Glad to hear you are back in your house. Acutally everyone's little ones are cute. Must say something about their mommies.

Eli is very close to rolling over, but gives up once he can't figure out what to do with his arm. When he's on his belly he'll scootch himself around to see different things. It's cute to watch him. He's become quite the flirt when we are out and about.

Today I went shopping and stopped at a cloth diaper store that just opened in New Glaurus, WI. If anyone is familiar with the Nicky's Diaper website, she opened a store. Nice store. Picked up some prefolds and covers to give all my pockets a break at home and be 'at the sitter' diapers. Thankfully my sister in law watches him and doesn't mind that I use cloth. Got a couple Mother's Touch pockets because they were really cute prints and some hemp doublers for the baby kangas because their inserts just don't cut it with Eli. Lastly Eli got a little wooden Haba toy, mostly because I was looking at it, he snatched it, and drooled on it so I figured I should buy it.

Okay so I better go finish my dishes-cleaned out the fridge and found a couple rather hairy bowls way in the back. GROSS.

Heather-Mom to Kendall Elizabeth 11/24/00 :. Eli James 01/28/08 :nana:, and Quinn Erin 05/03/09 :
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Old 06-29-2008, 03:17 AM
 
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I made a cake today and after I got done frosting it I decided to lick the spoon : Ashlee was in her RS and grabbed the spoon and shoved it as fast as she could in her mouth.
OMG...Ashlee is a girl right from my own heart...other than mama's milk, the first thing she eats is chocolate!!! I LOVE it!

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I think you're suffering under a misapprehension about what constitutes "sleeping through the night" if you think that most mainstream kids are doing so at four months.
I would have totally agreed that this was my issue with DS, I definitely didn't know what to expect. But now, all I hope for from Molly is 3.5 to 4 hour stretches at night between feedings. That, to me, is great sleep. And, if she could some day get to just one night nursing, I would be fine with that forever, pretty much. What killed me with Ben was that, at around 7 or 8 mos, he started waking up every couple of hours...sometimes closer. He continued to do this until 15 mos when I night-weaned him. It was awful, and the most sleep deprived that I have ever been. He was in a co-sleeper, and then a sidecar crib, and sometimes our bed, so I know he didn't feel abandoned, and I always fed him so I know he wasn't hungry, and it lasted WAY too long to just be due to a growth spurt or something. And I have to admit that I am terrified that Molly is only going to start waking up more often rather than less.
BTW, that's so cute that Bear likes a little alone time!

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Was needing to post about DH having a really tough time being a new dad, but will have to tomorrow. Hillel has just woken up again and requires mum NOW
Hope everything is ok for him! What's going on?

Sarah Can't wait to see the pics! And I've been thinking about a nursing tank, too. Maybe I should get one, huh?

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Eli is very close to rolling over, but gives up once he can't figure out what to do with his arm. When he's on his belly he'll scootch himself around to see different things. It's cute to watch him. He's become quite the flirt when we are out and about.
He sounds so cute! Can't wait to hear when he finally figures it out! And great job on cleaning the fridge...I got a few nasty things out of mine today too. Though my poor SIL got to the hummus before I did. She took a big scoop out of the dish and at it on a cracker. After she finished her bite she looked up and said, "it's supposed to be orange on top, right?" I could only just quitely say, "uh...not really.":Puke:Puke:
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Old 06-29-2008, 05:59 AM
 
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sarahn4639 I really did LOVE your pregnancy pics. Cant wait to see the pics that you had done this time

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After she finished her bite she looked up and said, "it's supposed to be orange on top, right?" I could only just quitely say, "uh...not really.":Puke:Puke:
Yuck!
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Old 06-29-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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Hi,
Well, after a night sleep and some perspective this no longer seems to be such an issue.

Basically yesterday DH and I were talking about some of the difficulties we have been having with his family (we live right near his two sets of parents - mine are a 12 hour flight away), especially in regard to Hillel. Anyway, then DH pretty much burst into tears and told me he has been having dreams he feels very guilty about, dreams where he puts Hillel away and hopes he will disappear and then wakes up feeling horrified at his dream and I think very scared by it as well! (he has had this dream twice) I just comforted him and tried to soothe him - he was hurting so much!!! We then spoke very honestly about all the changes having a baby has brought into our lives, for the good and the bad.... but I know that he is still hurting and confused... I tried sharing with him about my experience of having a baby making everything more intense - the whole range of emotions....

He was then worried that I thought he doesn't want Hillel and I assured him that I know that he loves Hillel very much, but that there is also a new inescapable reality in our lives and family politics are just going to be part of that!

I come from a very different set of values than what he grew up with and now that I am a mum I am wanting to bring my family up with values that are important to me (obviously) and these are in direct conflict with his family's values (western medicine - doctors).... - we're a bit like dharma and greg - and so essentially becoming a father has also taken my DH a couple of steps away from his family and put him in direct conflict with a professor of medicine father who believes only his opinion is the correct one... DH and I are in constant communication regarding our differences and trying to find OUR way in the midst of family pressures...

Anyway, this has ended up being a bit of a ramble.... I am sure these issues are rather universal and it has helped to write the out..

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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Old 06-29-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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sarahn4639 & lovetobemama, thanks for the concern...

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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Old 06-29-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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Megan, I'm sorry you and DH have to deal with that added stress right now. I hope it gets better over time.:

Cynthia

Wife to Matt. Mom to Alex (2/8/08). Expecting our second (2/6/12).

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Old 06-29-2008, 10:56 PM
 
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Robin is at least 16 lbs right now. She has the chunkiest thighs -- she is on the largest setting on her one size diapers!! AT 4 MONTHS!!!! I don't know what I'll do if she outgrows them (she has plenty of room in the rise, but her fat legs keep on growing ahead of the curve).
Yes, this is exactly our problem! I'm ridiculously proud of his chunky legs, but it's making diaper time a little annoying. Especially since he doesn't want to hold still during changes, the little goon.

Emadama - the distance thing is such a compounding thing. My husband and I see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I can see holidays becoming a major problem. My folks live across the country, his giant family (that I love, mind you) lives within two hours of us. When I say that my parents would love to see their grandbaby open presents over the big winter holiday, he says, "Great, they're totally invited to my mom's house." Er... yes, but we have some family traditions TOO! I can't imagine trying to mix that in with vastly different approaches as you must.

Cynthia - that's why the Feb 08 girls usually rebel and take things offsite for swaps - the rules are in place to protect people from fraud, and are quite sensible, but we don't like to cut new people out of the fun.

Lovetobe - These days I mainly write for my job, sadly. I guess you could say I'm a blogger for my industry. But I used to be a freelance writer, doing advertising copy for money and feature writing for love. My fiction is terrible. I do great beginnings, not so much with the middles. And these days... if I can't finish it in three hours, it doesn't get done!

Sleep issues: Dunno about others, but EG wakes up around seven, has milk, goes back down until nine, has milk, plays until 11, goes to sleep, wakes up at 1, has milk, plays until around 4 or 5, has milk, goes down until 6, has milk, takes a 45 minute nap at around 8, wake up, and nurses/plays until around 11, at which point he's out until 2 or 5, depending on how much nursing he did versus playing. If he wakes up at 2 he doesn't usually wake until 7, but if he made it to 5 he still wakes at 7!

Oh, and on weekends he usually skips the late morning nap, as DADDY is way too awesome to miss out on.

So I get two long stretches at night... for NOW, until teething gets going, and I think we're almost there - lately he doesn't just suck on his rattles, he gums them.

Mama to EG, Mate to MD, Writer, Editor, International Jewel Thief.
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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Emadama, so sorry to hear about the struggles. Remember above this your child and only you and your husband have the ultimate decision on what is best. I know it's hard when others give advice. I usually smile and think thoughts to myself.

As for your husband having a hard time adjusting-totally there with you. My daughter was 2 1/2 when my husband came into our lives. He hadn't been around a baby since he was 12 and his sister was born. We were all used to being able to go do whatever at the spur of the moment. That's not so easy with a newborn. Your life changes to meet their schedule. He's struggled with that the most-suddenly life revolved around Eli and what Eli needs. He's gotten much better as time goes by. He had some whacked out dreams too, but once he talked about them they seemed to stop. I'll be thinking of you.

Heather-Mom to Kendall Elizabeth 11/24/00 :. Eli James 01/28/08 :nana:, and Quinn Erin 05/03/09 :
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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Will someone please explain the concept of shaking solids out to me???

There are days my pump and I just don't get along when I'm at work. If you can't pump it out you don't have it for the next days feedings. It started happening about a month ago and after a tearful conversation with the LC at our hospital I made the decision to supplement with formula. I really didn't have much of a choice since I could get much of anything to pump out and he has to eat. I cried about for a couple of days as I wanted him to only have breastmilk until we started solids. Felt like I was losing something, but Eli seemed to cares less about what was in the bottle as long as something was there and he still got excited when we would get in position to nurse. All made me feel better.

Anyway long story short- between the occasional bottle of formula and the bit of solids we have started his poop is not the nice breastmilk poop anymore. How in the world are you supposed to shake some of that out of the diapers? His clings to the diper and I make a bigger mess when I try to take a piece of tissue a scrape it out. I'm sure this seems quite funny to someone out there! Should I swish the diapers instead?

Heather-Mom to Kendall Elizabeth 11/24/00 :. Eli James 01/28/08 :nana:, and Quinn Erin 05/03/09 :
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:16 AM
 
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heather, i just got james a haba toy too. we got the frog thing. i love it but ot was so expensive. i just kept telling myself it will last a very long time and it's a quality toy. i love their things! Also, I'm sorry about the formula. I would have been really upset too but as long as you know you did everything in your power then you can just be thankful it's available when truely needed. As far as the diapers go we have this mini spray thing. we haven't hooked it up yet but i used it when i babysat for a friend and it was great. i do know some people swish though and did some with grace.


emily, this is the tank i got. it was in the store but only in black and white. i'm glad i looked it up and saw there were more colors though. if i wear it alot i'll get another one.

thanks sharun. she said she was going to work on them tonight so i'm excited to see how soon i can see them! i'll definately post them!

Megan, that must be really rough for both of you! i hope he's able to process thru these feelings soon. i also hope his family can be resectful of your choices. i love the dharma/greg comparison. that's a really cute show but would make for a difficult reality!

cynthia, alexander is so cute! the pic of you together is great.

writer, eg is adorable. i especially liked sweet boy 008. i hope he keeps sleeping well!

so i'm up late sewing a wet bag. i'm just winging it because i need a big one to take on vacation this week (don't want to take the pail!) so far so good but now i'm to the zipper and i've never done a zipper before so i don't know what i'll do. i'm super tempted to just put a drawstring in! i'll see how it goes. but james woke up to nurse so i've been side tracked!

i hope everyone had a good weekend!

Sarah-wife, mother, doula, and teacher.
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:43 AM
 
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Will someone please explain the concept of shaking solids out to me???

Anyway long story short- between the occasional bottle of formula and the bit of solids we have started his poop is not the nice breastmilk poop anymore. How in the world are you supposed to shake some of that out of the diapers? His clings to the diper and I make a bigger mess when I try to take a piece of tissue a scrape it out. I'm sure this seems quite funny to someone out there! Should I swish the diapers instead?
I'm curious-- why have you started solids already? It's still kind of early...

As to the poop: If it's still too soft to shake, it's too soft to shake. Not much for it. You can always get one of those rinsy things that attaches to your toilet, or a dunking tool, or hand rinse them in the sink... or you can go the lazy route and drop them in a diaper pail (wet or dry). In this weather, rinsing is definately your best bet.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-30-2008, 04:25 AM
 
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i did it and i'm darn proud of myself! now off to bed!!

Sarah-wife, mother, doula, and teacher.
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Old 06-30-2008, 06:09 AM
 
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sarahn4639 post a pic please i would LOVE to see it!

ema-adama
sounds like we are in a similar boat. I am also really far away from my fam and we live right next door to hisI know that it isn't easy. I hate how they but in and come by when they feel like it and how they feel it is their right to give advice when it isn't needed: or wanted

I am sorry that your dh is having these dreams. It isn't always easy adjusting
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Old 06-30-2008, 06:46 AM
 
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cwoodard - Thanks.... I know it will get better, but it is gonna take time - lots of lessons to be learnt by both of us

Writerbird - yeah, we're learning to take small steps together and not do anything too drastic. I've been slowly getting used to life in Israel for 4 years - and DH has slowly been getting used to a more alternative lifestyle (Luckily we have made friends here who are totally into an "alternative" way of living)
Re DS sleeping and gumming, I think our LO's are pretty much on the same vibe.... not looking forward to teething - poor thing


BabyBump - I'm learning to compartmentalise my IL's prejudices as their problem and try very hard to not let it annoy/hurt me... they are just so bl**dy arrogant about it! :
With DH I think he really does miss me and the life we had, pretty much like you experienced with your DH and the loss of "the good old days" and DS becoming the centre of attention/schedule

sarahn4639 - mhmm! It does make for a rather interesting reality... don't think my IL's will ever be able to respect my choices as it would be too scary for them to challenge their very firmly held beliefs - but I am gonna give them a chance when I'm feeling stronger.
Way to go on the wet bag!!! I've been given an ancient sewing machine, and need to get it fixed, but am dying to get onto some sewing projects! Did you go with a drawstring in the end?

This MDC really does rock!! Although I think I am gonna be taking a bit of a break as I try to get my life in order a bit... at the moment I jump on the computer whenever I have a spare moment and so am neglecting doing other things that I also enjoy, like working in my garden, cooking, reading, sitting in the park drinking iced coffee.... It's a tough one

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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Old 06-30-2008, 06:54 AM
 
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Jezzy- Thanks, missed your reply while I was replying... IL's can be such a blessing, or NOT! My parents dealt with the difficulty by moving country and I always was sad that my granny and grandpa were so far away and that all my cousins were only in flying distance.... but am beginning to understand some of the wisdom there...
am hoping that by DH having spoken about the dreams he will at least be more easy with them and not so upset by them....

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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Old 06-30-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ema-adama View Post
Hi,
Basically yesterday DH and I were talking about some of the difficulties we have been having with his family (we live right near his two sets of parents - mine are a 12 hour flight away), especially in regard to Hillel. [snip] I am wanting to bring my family up with values that are important to me (obviously) and these are in direct conflict with his family's values (western medicine - doctors).... - we're a bit like dharma and greg - and so essentially becoming a father has also taken my DH a couple of steps away from his family and put him in direct conflict with a professor of medicine father who believes only his opinion is the correct one.
We have been dealing with similar issues, with our own spin of course... DH's parents are Christian evangelicals who raised him in a very fundamentalist way, homeschooling, etc. They were extremely narcissistic and his childhood really was awful. We don't know how we will raise our children to respect and love their grandparents while at the same time saying we don't believe in 99% of what they do. It's hard because they're much more open to our alternative lifestyle choices (like homebirth, delayed/selective vax) than my parents (western med, but not dogmatic about it), so in some ways we line up with them, but in big important ways we dramatically CLASH. This has made it hard for DH to figure out where he stands as a father - he wants to rebel against his parents' way of doing things, but the choices we make sometimes align with their views, so he feels frustrate and complicit.

And I know DH is feeling strange about how much our life has changed with Robin's arrival. I will be quitting school to stay home/wah with her. We will be living on a shoestring budget. Life is just plain changing and DH HATES CHANGE. He's going through his own big problems quitting smoking and dealing with depression... UGH. While I am feeling peace and love and optimism (mixed with apprehension about quitting school) because I'm so blown away by being a Mom, he is seeing life crumble and feeling very fearful. I am sympathetic to that but also sick of the doom and gloom mentality. Bleh.

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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Old 06-30-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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okay sharun, you asked for it! pic 1 pic 2 pic 3 i did a cotton outside and a while PUL interior with a zipper. i need to read some zipper instalation tutorials before i do another one! i hope it works! it's about 18x24.

megan, i went with the zipper and just kind of did it. i'm know i did it wrong but it's in there and it zips! that's my kind of sewing! i love to sew, i'm a total novice (other than slings) and it brings me a lot of satisfaction when i complete a project. i highly encourage it! (though it can be terribly frustrating to be working on something and have to attend to children unexpectedly but such is the life of a mother!)

and i totally understand the mdc obsession. i get like that from time to time and just have to take little breaks to keep my sanity!

lauren

Sarah-wife, mother, doula, and teacher.
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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We have been dealing with similar issues, with our own spin of course... DH's parents are Christian evangelicals who raised him in a very fundamentalist way, homeschooling, etc. They were extremely narcissistic and his childhood really was awful. We don't know how we will raise our children to respect and love their grandparents while at the same time saying we don't believe in 99% of what they do. It's hard because they're much more open to our alternative lifestyle choices (like homebirth, delayed/selective vax) than my parents (western med, but not dogmatic about it), so in some ways we line up with them, but in big important ways we dramatically CLASH. This has made it hard for DH to figure out where he stands as a father - he wants to rebel against his parents' way of doing things, but the choices we make sometimes align with their views, so he feels frustrate and complicit.
This is the problem with the "Let's just look at everything my parents did and do the opposite" mentality. Instead of going that route, I examine motivations; Sometimes you come to the same conclusion as someone you disagree with, but for an entirely different reason. Mike's father and sister, for example, are against sending children to public school. I happen to be against sending children to public school *by default,* but it amounts to the same thing for them. They're in favor of some people homeschooling; I'm in favor of some people homeschooling. We have entirely different reasons for this, but I try not to delve. They are also very much in favor of private schooling, thinking of it as ideal; I'm very much against private schooling, for very specific reasons which they disagree with intensely. We will NEVER find common ground there, so I try to leave things at this: Mike and I are trying to make the best decisions for OUR children. Where school is concerned, they're willing to accept that Mike and I have some sense (I am smarter than they, and Mike has a degree in education).

Religion, on the other hand... yeah, I don't think I'll get started on that here, as it's likely to get me banned. I've blogged about it more than once, though, and posted about it, too. We're never going to see eye to eye, though, and I am SO SO SO ready to take my kids to Farm and raise them there, openly pagan, and see if they want to invite their grandparents to moon services and fire circles. Come and preach hellfire and see if you get anything other than a bemused smile and condescending pat on the head.

Ugh. Now that I'm thinking about the ILs and religion again, I have heartburn. I've got to stop doing this to myself.

Quote:
Life is just plain changing and DH HATES CHANGE. He's going through his own big problems quitting smoking and dealing with depression... UGH. While I am feeling peace and love and optimism (mixed with apprehension about quitting school) because I'm so blown away by being a Mom, he is seeing life crumble and feeling very fearful. I am sympathetic to that but also sick of the doom and gloom mentality. Bleh.
This will probably sound weird, but there's a whole chapter on this sort of interaction in How to Talk so Children Will Listen and How to Listen so Children Will Talk. I just can't remember their advice.

In fun news: Mike taught the kids a new knock knock joke, but they don't quite get it-- it's the interrupting cow joke, but the kids are so knock-knocked that they wait for you to finish saying "interrupting cow who?" before saying "moo!"

*sigh* Bear needs toys. This place is FULL of toys, and I'm loathe to buy new ones... but we have nothing remotely appropriate for a tiny person. By the time Bella was interested in toys at all, she was much bigger and she was not just putting thigns into her mouth. Bean had some toys which would be suitable, but they were briefly used and are long since gone (he was never a "put things in your mouth" kind of kid,and played happily with marbles and Matchbox cars when he was six months old ). I hate the idea of bringing toys into this house, but sheesh. It's going to have to be done, the kid's been playing with clothing and books and who knows what else. *sigh* Any thoughts? Inexpensive, easy to find, yet ideally not plastic? Am I hoping for something impossible? He has *one* wooden rattle, a bar with rings on it, so variety should be the easiest part.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:59 PM
 
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We have some fabric "toys" that are just pieces of cloth with cool patterns and/or textures with bright pieces of ribbon sewn in loops along the edges. One even has something crinkly inside, so it makes noise when it's played with. I would think they would be really easy to make if you're sewing inclined. Fabric stores always have cheap remnants of fabric and ribbons.
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Old 06-30-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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Rynna, ever heard of a treasure basket? The kids would love putting one together for Bear, I reckon. River is playing with sea shells and pine cones and wooden spoons and play silks and all sorts these days.

Lauren FWIW, a dear friend of mine from my other DDC had a similar upbringing to Brian, I'm pretty sure she'd be there for him if he needed to vent. I totally second the recommendation for HTTSKWLALSKWT- you'll need it later on anyhow, so might as well start reading it now.

ema adama, No bright words of wisdom, I think you're doing grand yourselves Is RachelEve14 (did I get the numbers right, anyone?) anywhere near you, btw?

Writerbird, you're great, you know that?

Babybump, you have just discovered the reason why most cloth diapering mothers believe in delaying introduction of solids as long as humanly possible and then another week Personally, I'd just get some flushable paper liners and soak any remaining debris out :

Applecore, just cos you're great.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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Those paper liners are great, if you remember to use them. I personally found them to be more of a PITA. I agree with Helen, though, it's one more reason to delay solids. BeanBean=6 months, BooBah = 6 months, Bella = 9 months (she was about a month early, so that pushed her back to seven, and she still wasn't ready... she wasn't sitting unassisted very comfortably, wasn't bringing things to her mouth, still had a tongue thrust, etc). Bear is scheduled to revisit the PGE at six months; He's on Neocate exclusively until then. It'll probably depend on how his stools are, and other things. I'm looking forward to him sitting up better, because it will probably help a lot with his reflux.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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