February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 500 Old 06-16-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PlayaMama View Post
i am totally shedding like a beast! i feel like i can't keep shedding this much or i'll be bald soon. i had dreads after lazlo was born so i have no idea if my hair was shedding as much or not. i do remember shedding like this when i had such horrible morning sickness that i wasn't eating and i lost like 15 pounds but i'm eating and fairly plump (can't seem to lose that last 10 pounds of baby weight).

i too am an ovolacto veggie but i do eat raw cheese and butter and coconut oil... it may be seasonal out here though. it's really hot all of the sudden.

i was just going to post about this
I have also started to have this problem a couple of days ago... and remembered that a friend of mine also started at about 4 months post pregnancy... maybe it's hormonal? I know that I have hardly lost any hair in the last year, with brushing and showering hardly resulting in any hair loss, if any at all. Not so now

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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#242 of 500 Old 06-16-2008, 04:50 PM
 
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I love your username! I pushed hard for Hillel as well, for both of the boys but especially Bear (I wanted Bean to be Ender Akiva), but Mike wouldn't go for it. Le sigh.
Thanks! Here Hillel was popular with half the family and not so popular with the second half! DH and I really love the name

How do you do the multiple quote thing? I'm just posting one after the other, which is a bit annoying

Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
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#243 of 500 Old 06-16-2008, 05:06 PM
 
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I am also using a woollen soaker, "a" being the operative word. My mum knitted it, but she lives half the world away and now I am looking for a pattern after finding raw spun wool. I can't believe how brilliantly it works compared to the plastic alternative.
They do work brilliantly! I only noticed after my mom did, that when she's wearing wool, you can tell when she pees. My mom was holding her and said "Oh she's peeing" but realized she wasn't getting wet, just feelling the warmth spread across the soaker. She was skeptical about how they'd work until then. She's pretty impressed now!! She always used plastic pants back in the day.

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#244 of 500 Old 06-16-2008, 07:13 PM
 
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How do you do the multiple quote thing? I'm just posting one after the other, which is a bit annoying
right next to the quote button is a button with " and +. just click on it, it will turn red and then hit reply at the bottom of the page and everybody's posts show up.

welcome!!

eh. who needs a signature?
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#245 of 500 Old 06-16-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Dea View Post
Moving on, when I feed her I am careful to not jostle her around and burp her well, but she's still a spitty girl. When she does spit up she's not in pain, she doesn't grimace or whine, she just spits out formula. It generally happens right after a feeding in the first 20 minutes or so, the formula hasn't even had a chance to curdle in her stomach. So I have no clue. I try to keep her somewhat upright after wards too. But we still end up changing her clothes several times a day.
I am just at odds what to do.
If it's only the mess factor you're concerned about, I'd invest in detergent. Seriously, though-- have you tried feeding her in smaller increments? Bear gets no more than two ounces at a time-- in between he has to be held upright and he's got to be calm. It helps-- he still spits, but there's less of it if he has a little time to let things settle between "bites." You might also want to make sure that she's not getting too much air with her formula. I know, I know, we're all careful with that, the bottles are special, yadda yadda... the kids still suck down a ton of air. Slooooooowly. It's a PITA, but I remind myself that a lot of breastfeeding women spend 45 minutes nursing at a time...so I can cope.

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He gave me this story about how he had to tell some parents that their 6 month old was dead because one of the parents rolled over the baby while sleeping. I wanted to say that one instance doesn't make an epidemic. Grrr... ANyhow that's another story.
Honestly? I'd challenge him to provide evidence. You know why? Because if that happened, and the parents weren't HUGELY obese, and/or intoxicated/under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, it would have been all over the news.

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she's not showing signs of reflux, she doesn't grimace or fuss, she just spits up.
Just spit, no pain? That's... that's pretty normal.

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Why, why, why do my internet friends know more about children's health than my ped? What's wrong with him! Stoopid!
Well, some of us are terribly geeky, and tend to look this sort of thing (and/or random other things) up for no reason whatsoever. I've always been fascinated by biology, chemistry, and medicine, so I research random topics as they cross my path. Oh, and get this-- the hospital at which we have our doctors appointments has this library which is constantly being updated. They pull books from the shelves for various reasons, and stack them up-- free for the taking! My mother grabs anything interesting (they never seem to have any when I go ), so she's getting new medical textbooks to add to an already sizeable collection. Yesterday while I was there, I was flipping through one of her most recent acquisitions-- a pediatric opthamology text. SO fascinating!

That said, the lactose intolerance information is pretty much common sense; "lactose" simply refers to milk sugar ("lacto" = milk, "ose" = chemical nomenclature for sugars-- if it ends in "ose," it's some kind of sugar-- glucose, sucrose, fructose, etc.), and the teensiest bit of reading about human milk will tell you that it is, in fact, sweeter than cow's milk... because it's got more natural sugar (which of course is lactose ). In other words, I didn't read about lactose intolerance in infants (and it's relative impossibility) until much later, as it relates to child-led weaning; I simply made the connections and drew the logical conclusions.

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I am so concerned about henry, he has been spitting up a lot lately, and it smells like throw up...very acidic and sour. He isn't crying when he spits up but is cranky when we lay him down. Last night he woke up screaming and we could only get him to stop my picking him upright...makes me think of reflux.
When does he throw up, in relation to when he eats? If it's not the immediate, "My tummy's full" or "I need to burp" spit, it could be any number of other things, reflux being (again) fairly common. You might try different sleep positions; Bear is much happier with his head slightly elevated and on his belly than in any other postion.

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I have been loosing a lot more hair than normal lately too. I have a copper IUD and I remember one of dh's cousins saying she had the merina one and it caused a lot of her hair to fall out...could the copper one do that?
A lot of people start losing their extra pregnancy hair around four months postpartum, regardless of their choices in birth control. I had two big bald spots when Bella was five months old; It was quite shocking, as it had never happened to me before.

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oh and we dont' play WoW but dh is addicted to Age of Empires...anyone play that?
I can't find the disk, though; Bean took it, I think. He loves it as well... he's also a big fan of Civilization.

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Originally Posted by Teenytoona View Post
Rynna, you mentioned a while back about wool soakers that you knit.. what pattern do you use? We're on the hunt for a new one... (we being me the yarn supplier and my mom the knitter).
I have several, but my favorites are the LTK pattern (kind of expensive) and one I made myself, adapted from a book of old knitting patterns for babies & small children. I also do a lot of "free knitting," wherein I'll cast on and just make what happens... sometimes, it becomes a soaker. I miss knitting so, so much.

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Originally Posted by ema-adama View Post
I am also using a woollen soaker, "a" being the operative word. My mum knitted it, but she lives half the world away and now I am looking for a pattern after finding raw spun wool. I can't believe how brilliantly it works compared to the plastic alternative.
They are spectacular, aren't they? Just thinking about it makes me want to knit...

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#246 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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I second the idea that it is normal for us to be losing our hair right about now. We are just catching up on all of the shedding that we normally would have done while pregnant. The same thing happened to me right about this time with DS. It will slow down pretty soon and then return to a normal amount of shedding.


Molly sounds like River..a HUGE spit-up baby who is apparently completely healthy and happy. My mom calls her "Mt. Vesuvius" (sp?) in honor of the volcano. For some babes, it is just the way things are.

In addition to what Rynna said, I would add about doctors that, although some of them think they are gods, the majority of them are just nice people trying to do their jobs, and their jobs are pretty darn BROAD. We expect our pediatricians to be great with newborns as well as 17 yr-olds. Maybe the ones who SUCK on issues like co-sleeping and breastfeeding are really great on teenage depression and other issues. (At least that is what I tell myself when I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt)
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#247 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Wow I just canNOT keep up with you all. Miss Gracie Lynn is coming up on 6 months old soon. I'm just absolutely reeling from it! The change in her in the last month has been amazing. It's like all of a sudden she's doing all these new things. She's found her voice and shrieks all day long in happiness. Just shrieks of sheer joy! She's grabbing at everything and trying to bang on the keyboard as I type. She likes to shriek at her sisters until they come close enough to whack in the face and then she cracks up like it's the funniest thing she's ever seen. Gonna be a handful this one! She just started belly laughing in the last week. She was cracking up at peek-a-boo tonight. It was that type of laugh that everyone else laughs right along with her because it's so infectious. Love it! Had her outside tonight while her sisters exhausted themselves on the lawn and she was sitting unassisted for a few seconds at a time. The pics aren't great because she freaked herself out and started shrieking again and I was afraid to move further away but I got it on film.
shrieks of joy- seriously, I promise she was happy!
concentration
reaching for the camera
big sister love
And the funniest thing is, she is still on the small side so it's so weird to see such a small baby sitting up. I mean, she's a nice hefty 14lbs but it's very compact and since when does a 14lb baby sit up on her own????? It's cute.

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#248 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 02:05 AM
 
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BooBah only weighed about sixteen pounds when she started walking; Possibly less, she was a petite critter.

So... can I brag? (I'll try not to do so much...)

Bear started actually crawling today! Not the scooching, creeping army crawl deal but honest to goodness hands and knees crawling. So mini!!! I kept calling him and he'd turn his head and grin, maybe giggle a bit and get moving again, he was just so excited.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#249 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 02:36 AM
 
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Rynna, bless you for being excited for him and for not posting an "OMG, Bear's crawling now too"- which is how I would have put it. You have nerves of steel, woman, you know that? (Is he sitting, btw?)
When I was working in Lush, my haircare training was done by a trichologist who explained the growth cycle of a hair- basically, it's cyclical and not all of our hair grows at once, but it will grow, stop growing, then fall out and be replaced by a new hair. Pregnancy interrupts the process of falling out, so your dead, non-growing hair just sits there until your body lets it go naturally, like its doing now. If its bugging you, Jezzy, I'd invest in a soft natural bristle hairbrush (or have some layers cut in), but really, don't worry. The hairs that are coming away aren't meant to be on your head any more.
Teeny, you've seen the list of soaker patterns down in Yarn Crafts, right?

Dea, I deal with pure blind terror by gathering information and researching to death. When Isaac was the age that Trixie and River are now (younger, actually), his heart stopped beating as a result of a system overload of things that were bad for him- vaccination, formula, and infected eczema. He was already in hospital being treated for septicaemia, but it is one of those memories that won't leave me. We've been running the gamut of infant allergies since and one of the things that I've found is that a lot of people will talk about lactose, when they actually mean "cow juice". There are 40 different proteins in cows milk that will cause a reaction, which is why some babies will tolerate cheese but not milk, for instance- and why I suggested a casein-based formula.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#250 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 04:25 AM
 
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salt_phoenix beautiful necklace!!! I love it. I am thinking about making myself one too just because I think that they look so nice. Ashlee plays with my shirt and not my skin! Congrats on the EBF! That is great I know that you have given it a lot of effort!

justmama She is sitting wow!

eilonwy He is crawling? That is crazy! I thought that my ds was an early crawler with 5 months!

flapjack you are probably right the hairs aren't meant to be there. It is just scary seeing them all go at once!

I had a shock yesterday. My mil almost tripped with Ashlee. I knew that I didn't like her lugging her around for a reason. She is 70 and wont admit that she isn't the youngest anymore and looks like I have to put my foot down. She was holding her and wanted to sit down and tried to pull a chair out with her foot! That sent her off balance and almost fell down. I sucked in my breath and jumped up and dh hot p!ssed at me for doing just that! Can you believe it! Just because I am worried about my baby when his mom is holding her. (she doesnt just hold her it often looks like she is juggeling her from one position to the next) He asked me what I had against her. Uhhhh beside the fact that she almost dropped my baby?

She is always telling ashlee when get bigger you can run away from your mama and come to me and we will do something together and go somewhere. I hate hate hate that! She will NEVER drive with my daughter. I drove with her once and that was more than enough. When we parked she ran into a dirt hill. She is NOT driving EVER with my daughter.

Man that woman drives me NUTS

sorry for the rant! Gotta let it out!
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#251 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 06:24 AM
 
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Jezzy, I've fallen over more than once with a kid in arms. I'd save your issues for her being rude enough to tell your child that she should want to run away from you.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#252 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 06:59 AM
 
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Jezzy, I've fallen over more than once with a kid in arms. I'd save your issues for her being rude enough to tell your child that she should want to run away from you.
You know what is even worse? She asked me to burn her pictures from her digi cam onto a disc. I told her I would and I took a peek at the pictures. She had lots of pics of ashlee with aunts and uncles and daddy and grandpa and herself and of me. ALL of the pictures of her relatives were of them with ashlee together and the couple of me all had my head cut out of them. This hurts me and lets me know that she doesn't consider me part of the picture. kwim? And... I can't talk to dh about these things because he puts his MOMMY up on a pedistal. He is such a freekin mama's boy it makes me sick.
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#253 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 08:32 AM
 
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Rynna, bless you for being excited for him and for not posting an "OMG, Bear's crawling now too"- which is how I would have put it. You have nerves of steel, woman, you know that? (Is he sitting, btw?)
I'm not even sure if he can sit; He's been rolling over to GO for a few weeks now, whenever I try to put him in a sitting position. Now that he can crawl, I suspect there will be even fewer attempts to sit. (This is quite weird to me, as BooBah most assuredly sat before she crawled. I think. ) Watching the last baby do anything is exciting again. Bean was exciting because he was the first; BooBah was exciting because she was so teensy/early, Bella was exciting because she was so late, and Bear's exciting because he's the last.

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Dea, I deal with pure blind terror by gathering information and researching to death.
So glad I'm not the only one. That's how I learned all about kidneys, as well as random facts about renal dysplasia. Did you know, for example, that purebred poodles (and several other breeds) are especially prone to renal dysplasia? Note to self: Specify HUMAN when researching disorders online.

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eilonwy He is crawling? That is crazy! I thought that my ds was an early crawler with 5 months!
It is crazy; In just a few more months, he'll join the fray with his siblings. :

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I had a shock yesterday. My mil almost tripped with Ashlee. I knew that I didn't like her lugging her around for a reason. She is 70 and wont admit that she isn't the youngest anymore and looks like I have to put my foot down. She was holding her and wanted to sit down and tried to pull a chair out with her foot! That sent her off balance and almost fell down. I sucked in my breath and jumped up and dh hot p!ssed at me for doing just that! Can you believe it! Just because I am worried about my baby when his mom is holding her. (she doesnt just hold her it often looks like she is juggeling her from one position to the next) He asked me what I had against her. Uhhhh beside the fact that she almost dropped my baby?
The deal with men choosing their mothers over their wives.... ugh. Every shrink in the world will tell him he needs to take your part. That said, this is a safety issue, pure and simple. There are relatively few 70 year olds I'd allow to hold my baby while they were standing. Mike's got tons of older relatives (his mother is the youngest in her family), and while they love holding babies, all of them will sit down to do so and more than once a relative has passed, or asked that someone else hold the baby for them. One of his aunts' sons told me specifically not to let his mother hold BeanBean without help when he was teensy. It's not disrespect, it's just common sense.

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She is always telling ashlee when get bigger you can run away from your mama and come to me and we will do something together and go somewhere. I hate hate hate that! She will NEVER drive with my daughter. I drove with her once and that was more than enough. When we parked she ran into a dirt hill. She is NOT driving EVER with my daughter.
I wouldn't permit her in my house for this. Seriously. : My husband would have to choose to be a husband or be a son; If he wants mommy in his house, he can move back in with her.

So I woke up this morning to change Bear (who was miserable), and Mike was acting a little funny... but he was tired and so was I and I figured all was probably fine. I went to the kitchen to fix a bottle and next thing I know, Bean is running in saying, "You need to get Bella off the bed, Dad's started to vibrate." I took this (correctly) to mean that Mike was having a siezure, ran back to grab the smaller kids from the bed (Bella had been awakened in unpleasant fashion by one of Mike's limbs and then ran around squeezing sugar into him. Now he's sleeping and I have a headache. My teeth hurt. My back hurts. I want nothing more than to sit in a hot bath with a hot fudge sudae or perhaps a banana split. Instead, I am here... and soon I will begin packing the kids up to go to my mom's house. They're leaving today instead of tomorrow (when I leave for Gaian Mind) so that we can get some cleaning done around here; They've been INSANELY destructive over the past few days. As in, when Mike initially rejected the glucose gel (it's hard to get it in when he's foaming at the mouth) my first thought was not, "Crap, he's gonna die this time," but "I will be SO humiliated if I have to let paramedics into this house." : Urgh.

I'm going to smoke and get to work. Smoking is bad for me, I realize this... but it does afford me a few minutes of time when nobody wants to be near me, so I don't have to argue about it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#254 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 09:48 AM
 
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eilonwy I am so sorry...sounds like a rough start to the day. I hope you get your bath.

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When does he throw up, in relation to when he eats? If it's not the immediate, "My tummy's full" or "I need to burp" spit, it could be any number of other things, reflux being (again) fairly common. You might try different sleep positions; Bear is much happier with his head slightly elevated and on his belly than in any other postion.
He does it all day. sometimes right after he eats, that i am not so concerned about. Mostly through out the day, it could have been an hour since he last ate and he will just urp and it smells.
He is in a much better mood today so far which def tells me it is something I ate b/c I haven't been eating many allergic foods for about 30 hours. so I think I will stay the course on an elimination diet to try to figure it out. From what I have read reflux can be the result of an allergy...is that right? I really think it is dairy and eggs.

We have tried and still try different positions for sleep but the only one that seems to work is on his side. he did sleep on his belly for a bit last night but that was b/c I rocked him to sleep.

speaking of sleep...he still only sleeps about 2 hours at a time at night, am I doing something wrong? I feel so exhausted in the am and then I am cranky at night. I have done both him sleeping alone and cosleeping and personally I think they both suck.

that is so exciting mamas with the sitting and crawling. i can't wait for that stage...so much fun.

Jezzy I am so sorry you and your MIL don't get along. mine is a little nutty and she is 65. We get along for the most part but def but heads over Henry's care. I would def stand up for the safety of your baby and if your dh wants to take moms side...I agree he can live with her.

well I should run and do some school work.

hope everyone has a nice Tuesday

Allyn birthmom to S 3/12/03, placed in open adoption 4/06, married to W 6/22/07, mama to H 2/5/08, mama to M 8/26/12.
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#255 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 10:47 AM
 
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eilonwy what an aweful way to start the day, sorry about your dh and your aches.

I hope you have a great time at the festival!

re:smoking I use to smoke too. I know what those precious 5 min. are like! I do sometimes miss them but will not start again in fear that I won't be able to quit again
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#256 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:13 AM
 
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i was jus thinking I have a lot of milk in the freezer that has dairy in it ...anyone know of where i could donate it?

any ideas?
Send it to Dea? Or someone else via milkshare? They have shipping guidelines, looks like an awesome deal. I donate milk to a local mommy who's having trouble nursing.

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#257 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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Julie! Awesome! I love to hear about people getting through their nursing difficulties.

Jezzy, I would be hurt by seeing those pictures, too. I'm sorry your relationship with your MIL is strained. It makes things really hard.

Rynna, that must be so frightening to watch Mike go through that! Yipes. And I can't believe Bear is crawling already! My other two didn't crawl before 10 months, so that is just insane to me! I think Twyla will do it earlier, though. She's quite a scooter already, and the second I lie her down she rolls over.

Speaking of hair, this is totally bizarre. I was sitting at a stoplight today and I scratched my head and felt something kind of coarse. I pinched it with my fingers and realized it was a hair. I know gray hairs can sometimes be more wiry, and so I thought maybe I had gotten my first one, and pulled it. What I found was that I had a thick, wiry black hair growing out of my head that looked like it belonged in a horse's mane! And my hair is really fine. WTF?
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#258 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 06:56 PM
 
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Rynna, sounds awful! Glad you didn't have to let the paramedics see your house. hope you get a break once the kids are out!

Salt-phoenix: That's AWESOME about the nursing!!

Jezzy: MIL sounds awful and your DH sounds misguided. Hope things improve!

Applecore: strange! I have fine hair and have had a few coarse grey ones, but never a black one like you described.

Birthmom: sorry to hear about the rough sleeping issues. THe Nighttime parenting forum might have some helpful hints? DS was a rough sleeper, and I used to spend a lot of time lurking on that thread. Also, Molly was sleeping like that for a while, but has been better the past few days, hopefully it is just a phase for your LO.

I'm so glad that Molly is not even close to crawling!! She is a young one for our DDC, so is only still 3 and a half months old, but hearing about Bear and some other early crawlers is only making me cherish this time when she is a babe in arms (and safe from DS and not too demanding for entertainment) all that much more.
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#259 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 07:05 PM
 
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Hormones do really odd things to our heads. My mother's hair was straight as a stick all her life, until she started having kids. After five, she had big waves, and if her hair is short enough she has big fat curls. So odd.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#260 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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Y'all are BUSY! I can't keep up...but from the quick reading that I've been able to do, sending out to those who need them - which is several of you - and to those overcoming bfing struggles, and more all around - 'cause let's face it, none of us can ever get enough of those.

Is there a such thing as the 4-month witching hour? DD has gone from sleeping with only one waking at night, to sleeping 5 hours, then waking to eat, then waking every 1.5-2 hours until morning. And she is wiggly wiggly wiggly, and fussy fussy. I call her fuss 'n muss. Urgh! It seems like she's more easily frustrated with things the past couple weeks, and her sleep is definitely less predictable. She seems to be working on a lot of things - she got a lot stronger for sitting (with help, of course) in the last week, is grabbing with fierce accuracy, is completely in love with her feet, is rolling from side to side with gusto....is this a development growth spurt in a big way? Yipes.

I also landed a panicked call to the LC when DD would fuss endlessly when trying to bf, but would readily suck down a bottle. She said, "Go with it, it won't last." I think the kid just gets her little self so wound up sometimes, she can't settle.

Sigh.

And DH is a SAHD, but is starting to have more and more issues with it. He's a very goal-oriented, project-focused person, and we all know how useful that is when taking care of a wee one. He's on the edge of depression, and I can see that he's losing patience with DD - not staying focused on her very much, and always wanting to do other things, to get projects accomplished throughout the day. I'm trying not to worry, but if he can't make it work, it throws a big monkeywrench into things. Namely, that we don't want DD in daycare, but I have fantastic salary/benefits that would be really hard for us to give up. One day at a time.
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#261 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 10:26 PM
 
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slgt, my previously super-easy baby is a fuss-n-muss lately too. I don't know why, but looking back, 4 months was tough with my first, too. He wants constant playing, face time, excitement...STUFF. On the plus side, I had him absolutely cracking up tonight. IMO, a fairy gets its wings with every laugh.

Here are HIS foot-loving yoga skills:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y10...new/325013.jpg

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#262 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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SLGT: I would chat about it with your DH. SAH-parenting is sometimes so wonderful, but also sometimes very difficult, just like any other job. There are times when I really feel like I am just tring to get from one thing to another to get the day over with...just like it sounds like your DH is doing. When I have a random day like that here or there, I don't worry about it at all. But when I notice that I have been feeling like that for a while, I try to make sure that 1. I get a break, and 2. I take a moment each morning to remember why we chose to have a parent at home. I even make myself a little list sometimes of what I think the kids are getting by having ME at home with them rather than some daycare worker. It really helps me to embrace the fact that I choose to be with them, no matter how dull or difficult it can get at times. Hugs to him for being willing to be a SAHD!!
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#263 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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loraxc: that is an AWESOME pic!
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#264 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:02 PM
 
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I need to vent! DP, not sure if he deserves the D in front of the P, can be such a !@# Things have been up and down for months..... I have been working to keep his negativity away from me, but it has finally broken me. Now when he is nasty to me, instead of shrugging it off and laughing at his immaturity, I get nasty back. Sometimes I feel like he wants our relationship to fail and that I am the one bailing the water out of the boat while drills more holes in it. He thinks it is a threat when he tells me to leave and that I won't or don't have the strength. He is so wrong and I don't think he realizes how close he is to losing everything he has with me, including our DD. I know I may sound bitter, but if I leave, I will demand him to give up his parental rights to her because I wouldn't trust him alone with her. He has threatened to take her overseas to his family for one, and has done some other things that I think are reasons for him to not be alone with her away from me. Besides, if I leave, he will go back overseas so it's not like he would be anywhere near enough to have regular visits. It makes me so sad. He was such a different man before I got pregnant. Just because we weren't planning DD, why does everything have to be so different now? It's all so stupid and I told him so many times that he could leave with no strings attached before DD was even born. But he wanted to be here. So why does he want to be here? To make my life miserable? He has said some really horrible things to me the past couple of days, he fabricates stories in his head about things from my past... yes, my past way before he ever knew me. Would you believe that because I was once 21 years old while in the military and used to drink frequently that in his head I am an alcoholic? He said he remembered me telling him and some of his friends that!? I am sure our old friend MJ was around to cloud that memory, but still its quite a stretch! That one made me so mad I really wanted to hit him over the head with a cast iron skillet, and it takes alot to really anger me!

I know he is really unhappy, mostly with himself and so he takes it out one me. A week ago he said something to some guy he works with that was inappropriate, when DP got home he told me about it. Then he decides that he should apologize. So he called work to have someone there give him this guy's phone number and called him to apologize. But he won't apologize or even show any signs that he feels badly about what he says to me. I pointed this out to him, and he smugly said that I am right and I am the only person he treats this way. I refuse to take on a label of being abused.... I am not a victim. I have just really been doing my part to make things work and it's hard when the other person sabotages everything. Then I feel so guilty cuz DD is here to witness it all. I won't keep her in this kind of environment, either things change or things will change. Why are men such idiots at times? Even today I asked him if we could just be nice to each other, it would be so much easier, much more pleasant. He said something mean about how he can't do that if I am around and then left slamming the door, so mature! But yesterday he held my hand while we were out walking and said he wanted me to be with him and he did that outside of any fighting and completely on his own. WTH! I really want to give DD a chance to grow up with both bio parents, but when is it time to stop trying?

Thanks ladies for letting me get this out. You all rock.
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#265 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:15 PM
 
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Gen sorry you are going through this...is he maybe bi polar?


so I took ds to the dr today and she agreed on eliminating the dairy, I will do eggs too b/c of bdd. She also said that b/c he doesnt show signs of being in pain that she isn't putting him on reflux meds...good. but she did mention that we may want to do rice cereal to thicken his stomach contents...like a tablespoon up to 2x a day.

I am sad:. ds gives me such a hard time at night for bed, he screamed for almost an hour before going to bed...dh wasn't home. Like usual he woke up 30 mins later, and I thought he could nurse...nope made him soooo mad.

so dh took over...he says why don't you just let him cry:...for the 100t time and I tell him...so I left the house b/c I couldn't listen...I came back in maybe 7 mins later and ds was asleep...don't know what he did but he always does soemthing that works. Ds woke up 30 mins later i nursed him and he is sleeping now...why does he give me such a hard time? I am going to ask the dreaded question...how bad is CIO at 4.5 months? is dh doing a lot of damage?

Allyn birthmom to S 3/12/03, placed in open adoption 4/06, married to W 6/22/07, mama to H 2/5/08, mama to M 8/26/12.
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#266 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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peace laughing, I'm sorry things are so rough with your partner right now. Would you two be open to counseling? Sometimes it really take a third party to help sort things out. Parenthood is soooo tough, and brings so many changes in ourselves and in our intimate relationships. I think that you are very wise to worry about the affect on your babe; even wee ones soak up that negativity and strife. *hugs*

salt phoenix...YAY on the nursing!!!!

birthmommom, this might be a stupid question, but do you swaddle Henry? Peter absolutely doesn't sleep for more than 20 minutes if not swaddled. Also, is it possible that you're waiting too long to try to put him to sleep? Sorry is this has already been covered.

slgt, does your dh have a social circle? I know that I start getting depressed and unfocused if I don't get out enough during the day with my kiddos. We have a SAHD in our playgroup and we all just love him!

Like our DDC's other babes, Peter has started to be a bit fussy at times too. I really think he's starting to teethe. He was gnawing on his giraffe today and got absolutely *frantic* when it wasn't in his mouth. Dh has taken to calling his teething necklace his "voodoo." As in, "Peter's crabbing; does he have his voodoo on?"

A happy woman
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#267 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:29 PM
 
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Peace: I definitely agree with operamommy...it sounds like you guys could benefit from some major counseling. If you would want to stay with him if he weren't depressed and cruel right now, maybe a 3rd party could help him figure himself out. Hugs to you! It's never easy with a LO in the house, and maybe your DH is just having even more trouble than most with the addition.

Birthmom: any chance that if you gave it some time, this could just be a phase or growth spurt?

I finally got my blog linked to my signature(sorry it took so long!) so anyone who has been wondering what we look like can check the blog link and see some pics. Though I will admit that I am not the best with updating pics all the time, but I will do my best!!
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#268 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:31 PM
 
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Operamommy that is hillarious...I still can't tell if Henry's is working.

We used to swaddle him but not anymore...now he freaks out if we do. dh has tried a couple of times and he hates it now.
I try to get to him all day when he seems sleepy even before he shows signs but it never works...he gets super distracted and fights me.

Allyn birthmom to S 3/12/03, placed in open adoption 4/06, married to W 6/22/07, mama to H 2/5/08, mama to M 8/26/12.
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#269 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by birthmommom View Post
Gen sorry you are going through this...is he maybe bi polar?


so I took ds to the dr today and she agreed on eliminating the dairy, I will do eggs too b/c of bdd. She also said that b/c he doesnt show signs of being in pain that she isn't putting him on reflux meds...good. but she did mention that we may want to do rice cereal to thicken his stomach contents...like a tablespoon up to 2x a day.

I am sad:. ds gives me such a hard time at night for bed, he screamed for almost an hour before going to bed...dh wasn't home. Like usual he woke up 30 mins later, and I thought he could nurse...nope made him soooo mad.

so dh took over...he says why don't you just let him cry:...for the 100t time and I tell him...so I left the house b/c I couldn't listen...I came back in maybe 7 mins later and ds was asleep...don't know what he did but he always does soemthing that works. Ds woke up 30 mins later i nursed him and he is sleeping now...why does he give me such a hard time? I am going to ask the dreaded question...how bad is CIO at 4.5 months? is dh doing a lot of damage?
Well, he was diagnosed as bipolar by an intern or someone who wasn't fully licensed so he doesn't accept it. He actually used to work with bipolar people and really liked it. But he could be I suppose. He doesn't have insurance though and the sliding scale clinics here are not taking new clients. Not sure what he could do without seeing someone.

Sorry about your DS giving you a hard time at bedtime. Hopefully this is just a temporary thing, a little transition and he'll settle down again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
peace laughing, I'm sorry things are so rough with your partner right now. Would you two be open to counseling? Sometimes it really take a third party to help sort things out. Parenthood is soooo tough, and brings so many changes in ourselves and in our intimate relationships. I think that you are very wise to worry about the affect on your babe; even wee ones soak up that negativity and strife. *hugs*
I asked him once but he thinks that everything is my fault and that I should go to counseling alone because he has no fault in anything. I'm not sure if a counselor would serve as anything more than a place for me to vent if he's not going to go. But I have considered it. If I go alone, it would be once I am truly alone so that I can really use the sessions to focus on myself. I don't know if there is anyway to get him to go to counseling together?
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#270 of 500 Old 06-17-2008, 11:39 PM
 
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I am TRYING to catch up since the last time I posted, but I am in teething HELL. It appears that he is cutting FOUR bottom teeth all at once. Two are through, and the others are pushing...I can feel them. Can't this kid do ANYTHING by the book?

Taylor turns 3 tomorrow. Where does the time GO?!

In unrelated news, hospice was called in for my grandmother. They have promised to try to get me some respite, even just for maybe a couple of hours a day for one or two days out of the week but it hasn't materialized yet. My back is KILLING me from changing her sheets two and three times a day. (Her new favorite thing to do is take her diaper off. So now we're skipping the diaper thing, because I was changing diapers AND sheets. Now I just have to change sheets. Which is fun to do since she is bedbound. Even more fun with a teething baby. (I did one round of sheet changing today with him on my back in the Ergo because it was the only thing keeping him quiet. It involves lifting my grandmother to get the wet sheet off (one lift of the legs, and then a second lift of her shoulders/back), and then lifting her again to get the dry sheet on. Which explains why my back is killing me. Someone is supposed to come out tomorrow to try to figure out an easier way for me to do it.)

There is a saying that the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. I'm starting to wonder WHY He seems to think I can handle this much. (I need to add that I wouldn't have things with my grandmother any other way. Nobody is good enough to take care of her except for me, in my own humble opinion, lol.) Thank goodness for antidepressants and double-stuffed E.L. Fudges. I eat a ridiculously healthy diet, and then ruin it with those darn E.L. Fudges.

Like the rest of you, my hair is coming out in chunks, as it always has at about the 3-4 month mark. I am welcoming it, because under normal circumstances, I have enough hair for three people.

Now I am going back to actually READ what everyone else wrote, as opposed to just skimming it.

Single WAHM to 5yo DD, 2yo DS, and forever 7 week old angel DD.
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