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Old 06-26-2008, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mama's who practice AP/continuum parenting including exclusive babywearing for the first 6-8 months for the in arms time My babe is now 9 months and pretty much done with wanting to be in arms all the time. I remember back when she was worn by me all the time she didn't like to be worn by dh for long periods of time and it was harder for them to bond and for him to be involved. He is very involved now, and has an awesome relationship with her but I"m wondering how can the dads get involved sooner? Baby wants momma mostly, that hurts daddy's feelings and it can cause problems. My friend is going through this right now with her 4 month old. Daddy is feeling disconnected, and scared to be involved. What did you all do for daddy involvement?

TIA
Danielle*

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:14 PM
 
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honestly? she is mine for almost the first year. he'll hold her for me to shower and sometimes coo at her in bed but there's just not much for him to do at this point... sometimes he'll hold her and walk outside if i need a break.

but, once she can talk i fully expect her to be daddy's girl. he is awesome with our son who's 3-1/2 and it's because ds can communicate his needs and wants.

i think the time will come for him to be more hands on with her and while it may be tough at times now, i'm the one who can do it best. and someday she won't need me as much.

eh. who needs a signature?
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:30 PM
 
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When dd was younger (she's 1 now), dh would dance with her in his arms. After she fell asleep, he'd lay down in bed with her sleeping on his chest. I think this was the single best thing for their bonding. He also took her out for frequent walks, especially in the evening. He wore her in the sling when she was 0 to 5 months, and then in the bjorn after that. She was very much a mama's girl at around 4 months and would often have complete melt-downs when dh took her out for walks. So he learned to stay close by, and eventually she got more comfortable, and he learned how to read her cues better. Now they can go out for a couple hours and she's totally happy.

My advice to your friend would be to give her dh and dc the space to get to know one another, try out different soothing techniques, etc. This might mean only 5 minutes at a time to start, but eventually she might go out for a half hour and let them do their thing. Also, try to let them spend time together when dc is at his/her best, rather than during fussy times.
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Old 06-26-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pelirroja View Post
When dd was younger (she's 1 now), dh would dance with her in his arms. After she fell asleep, he'd lay down in bed with her sleeping on his chest. I think this was the single best thing for their bonding. He also took her out for frequent walks, especially in the evening. He wore her in the sling when she was 0 to 5 months, and then in the bjorn after that. She was very much a mama's girl at around 4 months and would often have complete melt-downs when dh took her out for walks. So he learned to stay close by, and eventually she got more comfortable, and he learned how to read her cues better. Now they can go out for a couple hours and she's totally happy.

My advice to your friend would be to give her dh and dc the space to get to know one another, try out different soothing techniques, etc. This might mean only 5 minutes at a time to start, but eventually she might go out for a half hour and let them do their thing. Also, try to let them spend time together when dc is at his/her best, rather than during fussy times.
Couldn't have said it better! I will add that DD's worst moments are now best soothed by DH. DH now takes care of our 13 mos twins two days a week while I'm teaching. Both kiddos have a deep and solid relationship with their daddy. We worked hard to make sure both babes had time with daddy--both happy and cranky. It was probably easier for us since twins really do require the full participation of both parents. Keep at it. There are early months when babes do prefer mama, but daddy will become the fun parent if given the opportunity.
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