continuum mama's - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 06-26-2008, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
Danielle13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 1,274
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey mama's who practice AP/continuum parenting including exclusive babywearing for the first 6-8 months for the in arms time My babe is now 9 months and pretty much done with wanting to be in arms all the time. I remember back when she was worn by me all the time she didn't like to be worn by dh for long periods of time and it was harder for them to bond and for him to be involved. He is very involved now, and has an awesome relationship with her but I"m wondering how can the dads get involved sooner? Baby wants momma mostly, that hurts daddy's feelings and it can cause problems. My friend is going through this right now with her 4 month old. Daddy is feeling disconnected, and scared to be involved. What did you all do for daddy involvement?

TIA
Danielle*

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
Danielle13 is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 06-26-2008, 06:14 PM
 
PlayaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,758
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
honestly? she is mine for almost the first year. he'll hold her for me to shower and sometimes coo at her in bed but there's just not much for him to do at this point... sometimes he'll hold her and walk outside if i need a break.

but, once she can talk i fully expect her to be daddy's girl. he is awesome with our son who's 3-1/2 and it's because ds can communicate his needs and wants.

i think the time will come for him to be more hands on with her and while it may be tough at times now, i'm the one who can do it best. and someday she won't need me as much.

eh. who needs a signature?
PlayaMama is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 06-26-2008, 06:30 PM
 
pelirroja's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 79
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When dd was younger (she's 1 now), dh would dance with her in his arms. After she fell asleep, he'd lay down in bed with her sleeping on his chest. I think this was the single best thing for their bonding. He also took her out for frequent walks, especially in the evening. He wore her in the sling when she was 0 to 5 months, and then in the bjorn after that. She was very much a mama's girl at around 4 months and would often have complete melt-downs when dh took her out for walks. So he learned to stay close by, and eventually she got more comfortable, and he learned how to read her cues better. Now they can go out for a couple hours and she's totally happy.

My advice to your friend would be to give her dh and dc the space to get to know one another, try out different soothing techniques, etc. This might mean only 5 minutes at a time to start, but eventually she might go out for a half hour and let them do their thing. Also, try to let them spend time together when dc is at his/her best, rather than during fussy times.
pelirroja is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 06-26-2008, 07:17 PM
 
torio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: near the mangrove estuaries
Posts: 885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelirroja View Post
When dd was younger (she's 1 now), dh would dance with her in his arms. After she fell asleep, he'd lay down in bed with her sleeping on his chest. I think this was the single best thing for their bonding. He also took her out for frequent walks, especially in the evening. He wore her in the sling when she was 0 to 5 months, and then in the bjorn after that. She was very much a mama's girl at around 4 months and would often have complete melt-downs when dh took her out for walks. So he learned to stay close by, and eventually she got more comfortable, and he learned how to read her cues better. Now they can go out for a couple hours and she's totally happy.

My advice to your friend would be to give her dh and dc the space to get to know one another, try out different soothing techniques, etc. This might mean only 5 minutes at a time to start, but eventually she might go out for a half hour and let them do their thing. Also, try to let them spend time together when dc is at his/her best, rather than during fussy times.
Couldn't have said it better! I will add that DD's worst moments are now best soothed by DH. DH now takes care of our 13 mos twins two days a week while I'm teaching. Both kiddos have a deep and solid relationship with their daddy. We worked hard to make sure both babes had time with daddy--both happy and cranky. It was probably easier for us since twins really do require the full participation of both parents. Keep at it. There are early months when babes do prefer mama, but daddy will become the fun parent if given the opportunity.
torio is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off