Silly things my Mom told me about parenting - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 02:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought of starting this thread a while ago and now the list has gotten much longer. Since I moved in with her about a month ago my jaw keeps falling open at the things she says. I know this thread might be quite similar to the other going around about "dumb things ppl told you about parenting" but thought this was worth starting as it came from my MOM'S mouth... like, I wonder about the things that were done/given to me as a baby.

1. After a recall on "pack-and-plays" after an infant died when it collapsed on him in our area while I was pregnant...
Her (super excited) "Guess what I picked up at a garage sale today?! Somewhere baby can sleep if you guys spend the night!"
Me

2. Quite common I'm sure:
Her "Aren't you going to roll over him if you sleep with him?"
Me "No. Do you fall out of bed at night? You sense where the edge is like I sense where my baby is."

3. After a discussion about penises while she was changing ds' diaper...
Me "OMG. Your doctor told you to retract the foreskin?! Poor Brad (my brother)."
Her "Ya, we did it just like this..." (going to retract my baby)
Me "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I think I jumped out of my skin to rush to my baby asap-- no harm done btw. Thank gawd.

3. When ds was 6 months old:
Me "No, we aren't doing rice cereals."
Her "What?! What is he going to have for breakfast?!"
Me

4. After I received a sample formula pack in the mail...
Me "Wow, I can't believe they sent me this. What garbage."
Her "Honey, there will come a time when you'll want to give him formula, you should keep it around."
Me "Uh, no, there won't be." I left it at that while she ranted about me 'getting on my high horse'. I mean, ds is 10 months old and I've been working part time since he was 8 months pumping to ensure he gets the good stuff while we're apart. We're going to make it to 2 years (at least) why would I want to have that stuff around?!

5. Little thing, but it bugs me. It seems like she can't stand seeing ds naked (with a diaper) for any amount of time. It can be 25 degrees C outside and him chilling without clothes on freaks her out! "Where are his clothes? He's going to get chilly!" Meanwhile everyone is sweating...


There are others but can't think of them, I'll add more later. I'm sure others have stories about their mom's "good advice". Love to have a good laugh about these things, of course being that there was no harm actually done to our kids! lol Seriously, I'm glad I made it.
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#2 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 02:21 AM
 
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I am currently pregnant, so I haven't collected that many gems, but my favorites have been:

*If you're going to breastfeed, just make sure you give the baby occasional bottles of water so it doesn't dehydrate.

*Be careful if you don't circ your son. The foreskin fuses to the head of the penis with most babies and will need to be operated on.

*If you want the baby in your bed, fine. Just make sure you take it out by four months because that's when you can start rolling over on to it.
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#3 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 08:54 AM
 
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LOL, those are funny! Mine are:

-She would sleep through the night if you put her in a crib, you know.

-She's ready for food! Look! She's reaching for my apple! (at just barely 4 months)
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#4 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 09:30 AM
 
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From my mom:

"Honey, you will never go into labor on your own. I always had to be induced and so will you."

"Don't get your hopes up about breastfeeding. It won't work out."

From my dad:

"My goodness, a bit of honey here and there is not going to hurt him. I gave you honey all the time. You really loved to suck it off my finger."

"I'm not giving him food. He's just licking my ice cream cone." DS was 4 months old.

"A good whack on his bottom and he'll learn to go to sleep." Again DS was a few months old.
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#5 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 09:30 AM
 
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OMG, these quotes are SO out of the mouths of my inlaws! (I'm glad I can laugh about it here because in the heat of the moment I just want to scream.) We have had the same EXACT conversations!

I apologize for the long post in advance, but I have to rant about this topic a little:

My FIL comes to my house to watch the baby 1 day/week while I'm out for 8 hours at work. I HATE pumping and it takes me about 3 days just to pump 6 oz. but I do it till it hurts just so the babe can have my milk to eat. One day I was so proud of myself, I realized I had accumulated about 15 bottles in the freezer. On my way home from work I call my FIL to ask how the babe is doing. We have a nice conversation and then he says:

FIL: "By the way, I defrosted the bottles you had in the freezer."
Me: "Huh? You mean the 2-3 you used today?"
FIL: "No, all of them."
Me: Speechless, hoping I didn't understand correctly.
FIL: "I know you've been so busy lately and I thought that in the middle of the night you might be too tired to nurse and that it would be easier to just heat up a bottle instead. So they're all defrosted, just waiting for you to use in the fridge. Also, while I was at the store I picked up some formula since I know you have a hard time pumping enough."
Me: Ready to stretch my hands through the phone and ring his neck.
FIL: "We didn't use it today, but if you use all the bottles I defrosted this week, then we'll probably have to use the formula next week if you can't pump enough."

Even now, with this story long over, I feel my blood begain to boil re-telling it! Thank G!d, we got rid of the formula that day and I was able to pump just enough for the next week and I've been slowly restoring my freezer supply.

To constrast that story, my dear Mother responded to hearing what my FIL did, saying (or more like freaking-out!): "He did WHAT?! Don't you dare give my grandaughter formula. NEVER. Go drink a glass of beer and get pumping for next week, maybe you can consider taking milk from another nursing mom, call LLL..." While my ILs are so NOT on the same page as I am, my dear parents are amazingly supportive.
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#6 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 09:36 AM
 
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ok here's mine:

Most kids should be STTN by 6 weeks

All lo's "need" baby cereal ...I asked why ?...well it's just good for them.

letting ds cosleep will hurt our sex life
my response ...well mom it hasn't so far

Jess  SAHM to Daniel  (09/07) and Samuel  (06/10)and Katie Lee (11/11) we're with #4 edd 4/15 Wifey to my "geek" : David  for 14 yrs. ( 4/09 @ 19 weeks).
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#7 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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My mom keeps telling me to put "just a pinch" of rice cereal in dd's bottle so she'll sleep better. Dd is 3 months old, is breastfed and sleeps just fine thanks! Of course, we were babies in the 70s when formula was "better" and doctors suggested solids at 4 months. On the plus side, she did admit liking my BG diapers better than paper dipes.
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#8 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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Just put some honey on his soother to make him take it.

I'm like Um. That could kill him.
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#9 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sarah&dina View Post
OMG, these quotes are SO out of the mouths of my inlaws! (I'm glad I can laugh about it here because in the heat of the moment I just want to scream.) We have had the same EXACT conversations!

I apologize for the long post in advance, but I have to rant about this topic a little:

My FIL comes to my house to watch the baby 1 day/week while I'm out for 8 hours at work. I HATE pumping and it takes me about 3 days just to pump 6 oz. but I do it till it hurts just so the babe can have my milk to eat. One day I was so proud of myself, I realized I had accumulated about 15 bottles in the freezer. On my way home from work I call my FIL to ask how the babe is doing. We have a nice conversation and then he says:

FIL: "By the way, I defrosted the bottles you had in the freezer."
Me: "Huh? You mean the 2-3 you used today?"
FIL: "No, all of them."
Me: Speechless, hoping I didn't understand correctly.
FIL: "I know you've been so busy lately and I thought that in the middle of the night you might be too tired to nurse and that it would be easier to just heat up a bottle instead. So they're all defrosted, just waiting for you to use in the fridge. Also, while I was at the store I picked up some formula since I know you have a hard time pumping enough."
Me: Ready to stretch my hands through the phone and ring his neck.
FIL: "We didn't use it today, but if you use all the bottles I defrosted this week, then we'll probably have to use the formula next week if you can't pump enough."

Even now, with this story long over, I feel my blood begain to boil re-telling it! Thank G!d, we got rid of the formula that day and I was able to pump just enough for the next week and I've been slowly restoring my freezer supply.

To constrast that story, my dear Mother responded to hearing what my FIL did, saying (or more like freaking-out!): "He did WHAT?! Don't you dare give my grandaughter formula. NEVER. Go drink a glass of beer and get pumping for next week, maybe you can consider taking milk from another nursing mom, call LLL..." While my ILs are so NOT on the same page as I am, my dear parents are amazingly supportive.
reading this makes me tear up. You must have been devastated.

Scarlett bfinfant.gif , DH Boris geek.gif , DS 1/29/08 Julian kid.gif DD2 6/7/12 babygirl.gif missing our DD 1/06/06 Sonja angel3.gif and MC @ 9 wks 11/18/06 Satchel  angel.gif

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#10 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 12:27 PM
 
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Hmmm all the things I hear all the time...I get the ones about the cereal...About letting him cry in his crib...about spoiling him by picking him up when he is wailing because he has a need...

The best though:
1.) Them--If you let him sleep with you, you will never get him out of your bed.
Me--Well, as long as he can sleep by himself when he gets to college, I think we'll be fine!

2.) Them--You plan to breastfeed how long? He'll never walk if you don't give him some food.
Me--Wow...I was certain that breastmilk was the optimum food for the first year of life. (Mind you, my son has been pulling up on the couch since he was 7 months old--he's 8 months now and crawling and taking steps!)
3.) Them--Give him a chicken leg...that's what he wants..look, he's eyeing it on your plate.
Me--Except he eyes everything and we are raw fooders!!! No chicken here! If I gave it to him, he'd throw it on the floor.

People are so stupid sometimes! I can't even believe it! I get it all the time though...I am so use to it! I live in a real closeminded community. I have never seen anyone else breastfeeding since I lived here and I get looks like I have a second head. People don't homebirth, always vax, have not seen an un-circ penis, wouldn't think to cloth diaper, etc...you get the idea! Not granola at all! I don't get it! But I have learned to just accept it and go along with my days. I take all the stares and gawks...I take the rude comments and whispers and just hold my head high knowing that all that matters is what I do for my child and what he thinks...Surely, he thinks it's great that I nurse him wherever, whenever!
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#11 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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I have gotten a few from my mom too!

For about a month now, she has been telling me to give DS cereal in a bottle mixed w/ breastmilk (he is only 9 weeks, and was only 5 weeks when she told me that). Everytime he cries, she says he's hungry & not getting enough milk. He DOES eat frequently, but the boy is not starving. He gained 1 pound in 1 week!!!

Just last night, I told her the LC said she thought DS was showing signs of teething. So this is how it went
Mom: Where is he
Me: With his daddy, he's really fussy. He may be teething
Mom: NO WAY, he's too young. He's just hungry
Me: Umm, I just fed him. He IS drooling a lot, biting his hands, gmming my nipples. I think it's possible.
Mom: Just give him a little cereal. It's good for his stomach. That's what the doc told me to do for your sister when she was baby (umm, she's 34)
Me; He really doesn't eed anything for the 1st 6 months except for bm.
Mom: Well, give him cereal, just don't give him baby food...yuck...it's full of all kinds of crap
Me: And cereal isnt?



And, when my baby is screaming his head off, the LAST thing I want to hear is "see, it's your fault, you've got him spoiled".

But I am really tired of being told that my baby is hungry.

I'm Aicha . In love with my DH, and my Adam (4/23/08) . boobie monster.
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#12 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah&dina View Post
OMG, these quotes are SO out of the mouths of my inlaws! (I'm glad I can laugh about it here because in the heat of the moment I just want to scream.) We have had the same EXACT conversations!

I apologize for the long post in advance, but I have to rant about this topic a little:

My FIL comes to my house to watch the baby 1 day/week while I'm out for 8 hours at work. I HATE pumping and it takes me about 3 days just to pump 6 oz. but I do it till it hurts just so the babe can have my milk to eat. One day I was so proud of myself, I realized I had accumulated about 15 bottles in the freezer. On my way home from work I call my FIL to ask how the babe is doing. We have a nice conversation and then he says:

FIL: "By the way, I defrosted the bottles you had in the freezer."
Me: "Huh? You mean the 2-3 you used today?"
FIL: "No, all of them."
Me: Speechless, hoping I didn't understand correctly.
FIL: "I know you've been so busy lately and I thought that in the middle of the night you might be too tired to nurse and that it would be easier to just heat up a bottle instead. So they're all defrosted, just waiting for you to use in the fridge. Also, while I was at the store I picked up some formula since I know you have a hard time pumping enough."
Me: Ready to stretch my hands through the phone and ring his neck.
FIL: "We didn't use it today, but if you use all the bottles I defrosted this week, then we'll probably have to use the formula next week if you can't pump enough."

Even now, with this story long over, I feel my blood begain to boil re-telling it! Thank G!d, we got rid of the formula that day and I was able to pump just enough for the next week and I've been slowly restoring my freezer supply.

To constrast that story, my dear Mother responded to hearing what my FIL did, saying (or more like freaking-out!): "He did WHAT?! Don't you dare give my grandaughter formula. NEVER. Go drink a glass of beer and get pumping for next week, maybe you can consider taking milk from another nursing mom, call LLL..." While my ILs are so NOT on the same page as I am, my dear parents are amazingly supportive.

Oh my God! I would have cried so hard. I know you probably did, poor thing! I cried when I thought our deep freezer had cut off and all of my milk stash had defrosted. Why on earth would he think that he needed to thaw all of it out? Why would he think you wouldn't do it if you needed it? Oh my. Do you think he did this on purpose? It seems so odd.

And what would make him think that you would just let him pick out formula anyway? I mean, if you ever did have to use it, it certainly wouldn't be a cavalier thing...I mean, tons of research would go into a decision like that I'd imagine.

Ph.D. Mama to Anaiah born 10/06/07 and Mathias born 11/14/09 and Wife to my cocoa puff DH.
My Cup Runs Over Daily!

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#13 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 02:58 PM
 
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My mom suggested to me casually while I was pregnant that I should get some rice cereal. I told her that seemed a bit premature because if I would give the baby some it wouldn't be for months and months. She said, "Well I started giving you solid food at two weeks. You slept through the night by three months old because of it. If you want sleep you need to give the baby real food."

oh my

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#14 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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5. Little thing, but it bugs me. It seems like she can't stand seeing ds naked (with a diaper) for any amount of time. It can be 25 degrees C outside and him chilling without clothes on freaks her out! "Where are his clothes? He's going to get chilly!" Meanwhile everyone is sweating...
Every single time my in-laws are going to see my son I make sure he's fully dressed. The last time they saw him in just a diaper they asked me about a thousand times why he was undressed ... "why is he wearing no clothes?" "It's hot." "Okay." (five minutes) "But where are his clothes? He's ok?" "The weather ... it's hot." "Okay." (five minutes more ...) "But why he's naked?" :
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#15 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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lol.... glad (in a sort of sadistic sounding way I guess) that others chimed in on this, at least I know I'm not the only one with silly parents.

Omg, about the milk stash being defrosted; I would have FREAKED! Aw, poor you. I totally understand the "pumping till it hurts". hugs.

I used to get the "he's crying because he's hungry" thing a lot too when ds was younger. Usually from my ex. I'd feed, and feed him, and then it seemed like he'd cry because I kept feeding him and he wasn't hungry!! I was a new parent and bfing totally new too, so I bought into it. But common sense prevailed and I knew he wasn't crying because he was hungry after a while.
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#16 of 31 Old 06-27-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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Every single time my in-laws are going to see my son I make sure he's fully dressed. The last time they saw him in just a diaper they asked me about a thousand times why he was undressed ... "why is he wearing no clothes?" "It's hot." "Okay." (five minutes) "But where are his clothes? He's ok?" "The weather ... it's hot." "Okay." (five minutes more ...) "But why he's naked?" :
Heh. I have knee jerk reactions towards wanting to dress my five week old. I tend to be more comfortable in some clothing, but she shrieks if we dress her and she screams constantly if she is too hot. Apparently she is happier naked. When we are leaving the house my instinct is to put clothes on her even though she doesn't like it much. My husband pointed out that it wasn't necessary and would make her unhappy. He had to stare at me for a while as I went through my "but she needs clothes!!" rambling. Eventually I realized I was being dumb.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#17 of 31 Old 06-29-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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"breastfeeding is gross, and i never wanted to do it at all. think about it-the baby is a little PERSON at 6 months, that's just, well, sexual." wrinkles her nose.

oy.
(now, thankfully, she is happy to tell anyone who will listen of her EBF gs who bfs on demand and who is super healthy and happy. she brags that i nursed my dd until she was 4.5 too. )

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
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#18 of 31 Old 06-29-2008, 09:21 PM
 
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There are a variety of funny comments but the best was when my mom was holding my DS1 when he was about 12hrs old and started poking at his soft spot on his head! Saying "Look! here's his soft spot! It's really big!"
I actually had to tell her to stop poking my son...

DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!

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#19 of 31 Old 06-30-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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-She's ready for food! Look! She's reaching for my apple! (at just barely 4 months)
That's a good one. Duh! They reach for everything

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#20 of 31 Old 06-30-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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FIL: "By the way, I defrosted the bottles you had in the freezer."
Me: "Huh? You mean the 2-3 you used today?"
FIL: "No, all of them."
Me: Speechless, hoping I didn't understand correctly.
FIL: "I know you've been so busy lately and I thought that in the middle of the night you might be too tired to nurse and that it would be easier to just heat up a bottle instead. So they're all defrosted, just waiting for you to use in the fridge. Also, while I was at the store I picked up some formula since I know you have a hard time pumping enough."
Me: Ready to stretch my hands through the phone and ring his neck.
FIL: "We didn't use it today, but if you use all the bottles I defrosted this week, then we'll probably have to use the formula next week if you can't pump enough."

OMG, I don't know whether to cry or go on a rampage just reading that! I can only imagine how YOU must have felt!
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#21 of 31 Old 06-30-2008, 04:09 AM
 
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My mom started giving me whole (cow's) milk when I was either two weeks or two months old. I don't remember exactly what she said, but either way .

Fortunately, both sets of grandparents go along with our wishes and don't verbally disagree with our decisions, for the most part. Other extended family members aren't as tactful/open-minded, though.
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#22 of 31 Old 06-30-2008, 04:32 AM
 
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My mom is really hung up on her opinion that I should give my 3 month old a bottle of water...I don't know why. She's needier than my older DD was, and gassier...

Me - "I think she's reacting to X, so I'm eliminating that from my diet for a few weeks."
Mom -"Oh, give her a bottle of water! The doctor told me to do that with you and your brother..."
Me - "well, mom, it's recommended that they receive ONLY breastmilk for the first 6 months."
Mom - "Well, water won't hurt anything..."
Me - "Except that it has no nutritional value, and will fill her up without giving her any calories."
Mom - "Well you don't have to give her a lot, just a couple ounces before you nurse her."
Me - 'You remember that Aunt D would drink 8 ounces of water before every meal to help her lose weight?"
Mom - "Yeah..."
Me - "D'you think that maybe giving my baby a couple ounces of water before each meal would have the same impact and maybe it's not a good idea?"
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#23 of 31 Old 06-30-2008, 11:33 AM
 
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"A good whack on his bottom and he'll learn to go to sleep." Again DS was a few months old.
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#24 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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From when DS was about 2 mos old:

MIL: I still think that he would sleep better in his own room.
DH: No he wouldn't. (I love DH)
MIL: Well at least you guys would sleep better.

Hmmm...I was under the impression that being a parent is doing what's best for the baby, not doing whatever I can to keep my pre-baby life!

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"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." - Maya Angelou

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#25 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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I'm due in November, but I've already gotten a few from my MIL. I love her to death, but sometimes . We were talking about how much my nephew eats (he's 2) and she said he was just like his dad (my BIL) who ate a ton when he was little. She told me they started him on rice cereal at 4 WEEKS b/c formula just wasn't filling him up. Keep in mind, this kid was also on scheduled feeding times and not fed on demand *bangs head* I could not believe my ears when I heard that. It took me 20 minutes later that night to convince my husband that anything but breast milk that early is not a good idea.

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#26 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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I am TTC#1 and didn't have anything to add until yesterday. I told my friend/coworker that I wanted to have a natural birth and she seriously got mad at me! She of course said I would change my mind during and asked why I would even want to. I said that is what my body was made to do and it is natural, she said, "God made man, and man made epidural so that woman wouldn't have to go through that much pain!"

Wow! Remind me not to tell her that I am going to BF, delayed vax, cloth diaper, and leave any son of mine intact. She will go ape-sh*t

After talking about it with my future DH he said he thinks people get angry because just by choosing a different method some get defensive that you are judging them for their choice.

Shannon 30 DH 31

dd- Kennedy 03/28/10

 

BFB on 2/12/13 due on 10/23/2013!!!!!

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#27 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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My mom has tried really hard to be supportive of our parenting choices, even though they are pretty different from hers.

But, after complaining to her at length about my MIL (that's another thread, right?) being on me to give DD more solids AND formula endlessly on a recent visit (dd was 7.5 months, and had been on limited solids for about two weeks). My mom asked me "well what's she getting for protein?"



"Um, breastmilk."

My mom has been obsessed with protein since I stopped eating meat almost 20 years ago. I'm still fine, mom!
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#28 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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Mom: Don't you think you ought to put him down sometimes? (about my then newborn DS) He might want to be held all the time then!
(now at 5.5 I am lucky if he does not wipe off my kisses, LOL!)

MIL: Shouldn't you turn her carseat around right away at 12 months? She might break her legs!
(DD was 16.5 lb at 12 months, and is still RF now at 34 months and 22 lb, much safer!)

MIL: (this is afer a year) They really NEED whole cow's milk, you know. How will they ever get enough calcium?
(Both of mine have nursed WELL beyond a year, and neither likes cow's milk, allthough DD will drink some if you put chocolate syrup in it as a treat.)

This also makes me wonder...what kind of things will I be telling my kids to do or not do when I become a grandma? I hope I can keep my mouth shut and let things go unless it is threatening life or health. It would be interesting to see what they would say in a thread like this in 20 or 30 years.

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#29 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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i love my mom...so i don't think i will post things on the internet to make her sound bad.
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#30 of 31 Old 07-01-2008, 09:24 PM
 
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My mom passed away recently, but I get plenty of outrageous comments from my dad about my 4 m. old daughter:

"She doesn't know how to play with her toys. Why does she put everything in her mouth?"

"Have you been putting her down yet? If you never put her down, she'll get spoiled and she'll want you to hold her forever."
That's our plan, dad, she's going to learn how to crawl and walk in my arms.

"If you put her down, you can get more stuff done."
Yeah, while she's crying her head off in a crib, I'm going to get a lot done.

"When are you going to put her to sleep on her own? If you don't start putting her in a crib now, she'll never learn to sleep on her own."
Yup- I'm sure we'll be sleeping with our teenage daughter.
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