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#121 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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What a giant loser. I’m so upset. I turned it off, sealed it back in the Netflix envelope and sent it back. He doesn’t get it and I’m not sure why I expected he would. Maybe it was all those enlightened and supportive fathers in the movie . One can dream I guess!!
It is really hard for someone who hasn't been through a c/s or traumatic birth to understand the grief that is involved. I have a good friend who is normally very empathetic, but I had to explain to her, "Yes, of course the most important thing is a healthy mother and baby and of course Aili is my joy, and I know that you're trying to be supportive, but its really annoying when people say that. The problem is that I lost power over my body. Someone else had to come in, cut my body open and take my baby out of it and I wanted to be involved in the birth of my baby. I was taken out of the birth." I think since our bodies are healed for the most part, people forget that there are still emotional wounds.

You also said before that you weren't ready to try for another baby yet. Do you think that this might be part of the reason why? If so, discuss it with dh, b/c honestly, if I hadn't told my dh exactly what I was feeling about the c/s, he wouldn't have had the slightest clue.
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I think you need to just get over it already.
I'm really sorry that he said this to you. I don't know your dh, but I think that's not exactly what he meant; maybe he was unsuccessfully trying to reiterate that he wishes that you wouldn't be so hard on yourself over your birth experience. I would have been so pissed if my dh had said that too.
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#122 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 10:42 AM
 
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Mrsb422, I am glad Sabo responded with kind words. All I have is a : and a .

Greenmagick, I so do not do well when my sleep plan is upset. Linus was up late last night also. Not just up but up and fussy. I was cranky. My 5 yo is a crank monster lately too. I hope we all get some sleep soon. :yawning:

It is good to hear from you Sunshine, I was wondering.

Thank you for more ways to spend my money Lactivist.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#123 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 01:25 PM
 
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Thanks for updating us Sunshine, we miss you!

Mrsb - I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry that he reacted that way. I totally agree with everything that Sabo said. I've never experienced a traumatic birth, but I have a very good friend back in NY who despite all her efforts did have a hard birth and I know she had a difficult time with it, I know it meant so much to her to have the birth outcome she planned for in addition to a healthy baby. I totally agree that our society forgets that birth is about a baby being born AND a mother being born as well. What you need isn't criticism, but love and support. Does your DH have a hard some empathizing for some reason? Does he feel like he was responsible somehow so he's shutting down about acknowledging your feelings? Do you think some kind of counseling might be needed in order to sort through this? Sorry for all the questions, my heart is just really hurting for you, mama

I got a little update today about my friend who was induced yesterday. No baby yet, but they did cervadill yesterday and she started contracting on her own without pitocin, today they were supposed to start the pitocin but they may not if she progresses on her own. I'm just hoping for a good outcome for her.

I'm exhausted today as well. Despite my best efforts to go to bed before 1am Liam had a restless night so I didn't get very much sleep. TGIF and Andrew will be home for the weekend to let me sleep in a bit. The weather here has been major yucky with lots of rain and T&L storms for the last 2-3 weeks so there isn't much to do but stay inside. We are going to have a bit of breakfast and I'm going to see if I can persuade him to take a nap.

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#124 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 02:09 PM
 
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Add me to the group that doesn't handle well when I don't get sleep. Which is why I am always just barely hanging on because I never get enough sleep. Dh and I went out to dinner last night and I was yawning through the whole thing, kinda sad! It was nice to get out though. Of course both littles were up when we got home and I didn't get everyone down until 1am and back up at 7:15 to help Kaija get ready for the country fair. :yawning:

ishy ~ the clapping is so cute. dahlia claps when we say yay too.

loveher ~ some babies just sleep better with mom and dad. At least you can get her to sleep in the crib at all to get a bit of time alone. Some babies will not sleep unless on someone which doesn't lend itself to time alone with the hubby.

greenmagick ~ here's hoping we all get some sleep soon.

sunshine ~ I just keep sending you lots of and :

mrsb ~ I am so sorry your dh doesn't get it. So many people just don't get it. I have never had a traumatic birth but I know that I would be devestated if things didn't turn out how I had hoped. Having a healthy baby is great but have your dream birth is pretty amazing too. I hope you get your dream birth one day. Have you joined ICAN? They sometimes have local meetings that might be really good for you in regard to processing.

Sabo ~ you knew just what to say!

mommajb ~ happy to oblige! Your money can go up in flames just like mine!

Katie ~ I wish the best outcome for your friend's birth. I hope you get some sleep too. I also hope you get a really good place to move next.

It's going to be hot, hot, hot here today. I am not sure what we are going to do other than just relaxing and hanging out playing in the sprinklers. I want to go upicking again and get raspberries.

I finally made the cobbler the other night and it was AMAZING!!!! I realized I could use the cobbler topping recipe for so many different things. It would be great shortcakes or cookies. I just wish I had a self cleaning kitchen. I would love to do more baking but my kitchen is always a mess and I HATE cleaning the kitchen.

Wendi
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#125 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 04:01 PM
 
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wendi~ we have a rule in the house that if I cook,you clean.... only it's really just a joke anymore. So jealous of your location, the country fair... ahhhhh.

Wishing lots of restful sleep to KatieJD, lactivist, greenmagick, mommajb & anyone else in need! I just had a good night after several bads in a row. It changes things dramatically, I just hope you all get a good solid block of it really soon!

mrsb422~ all of the mamas have said a lot of helpful things, I don't have any to add... just huge s, an ear & a shoulder.

sunshine's mama~ glad you got the swap sorted out & your friend is coming around. Good to hear from you!!!

ishyfishy~ that clapping is so cute!

Sorry for being such a downer the other day. I'm not in a position to move until next year, and I'm feeling such a sense of urgency to do something *right* now. I don't even know if it's all situational, I'm thinking it may be chemical... and I think I'm going to try antidepressents. In a perfect world I would learn to deal with the issues in front of me, learn from them & grow... but for now I feel like I'm just in survival mode and maybe I could use a little help until I can better manage my life & situation. If it were just me, I'd push through this time in my life, but there are young children involved. I love them so much & want to be a whole mama for them.
I did make time to write to a few of my friends and heard back from one of them. That was really nice. Thanks for the advice & hugs, mamas!

Okay, better get everything together. We're going to get the girls' portraits done today.

Blessings!!
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#126 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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My friend had her baby today. He was 9lbs, 4oz. They told her he weighed that 3 weeks ago and would be a 10+ pound baby, I love hearing how wrong they always are.

I don't know how the actual labor or birth went but I will hear that later, she left circing up to her DH and is still convinced on doing Baby Wise so we shall see how it plays out I suppose.

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#127 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 10:02 PM
 
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Sabo Thanks mama : You’re the sweetest. I think you’re right. I was really still upset when I wrote that and I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out, I mean he said “I don’t know how else to say this” so clearly he was struggling. You said exactly what I’m feeling though with the whole “powerless over your own body” and that is what drives me nuts. Becoming a mom really changed me so much and the event that made me a mom, Marty’s birth, was done in a manner I totally disapprove of at this point. I struggled with it a lot at the time but really felt like the doctor knew better than me what was best. Now that sounds ludicrous to me, but it is still something I am trying to heal. I think fear is definitely a factor in my not wanting more. I’m afraid I won’t be able to have or cope with the birth I really want and it will be just one more punishment for the poor decision I made in scheduling my c/s : Thank you for your support though. It means so much to me and I am so, so grateful to have you ladies here. I don’t know what I’d do otherwise :

Katie Yeah, I think he has an empathy problem in general. I don’t mind all the questions, I am so grateful to know there are people out there who really care . You’re 100% right when you say that people forget about the mom in the equation. This is bigger than a cut healing after surgery, especially because of the journey I have taken since that day. My life has done a complete 180 and I am a whole new person. I think I really have to focus on that when I look back on the decision I made because it wasn’t “this” me who made that decision, ykwim? DH doesn’t know how to relate when it comes to this. It isn’t something that he ever dealt with or heard about growing up at all. His mom “went to sleep” to have both him and his sister. His sister had both her kids with epidurals within the first couple hours of labor. They are princesses and that’s what he’s used to. Seeing the men in the videos even at our birth class at the hospital made him uncomfortable. We just don’t have that kind of relationship and all the touching, massaging, helpfulness, support…it just isn’t him. He’s more of a quiet observer and a “fixer” rather than a supporter. IDK if that makes sense…it’s hard to describe. I’m so glad the cervadill worked for your friend and she’s contracting on her own. That is fantastic. My fingers are crossed for no pitocin!!!

Wendi Yeah, I’m going to look into ICAN and some of the boards on here for coping. Thanks :

beemama Don’t think you’re giving up…you have your sanity and your family in mind so you’re definitely thinking in the right direction. No one here judges you and we you for YOU!! If you need antidepressants, then you need them. There’s nothing wrong with that

Well, when it rains it pours…

I went to pick up DS at daycare just a few minutes early. He was sitting at the table eating a snack (some lactose-free cheese pieces I sent with him in his lunch). I get his backpack and his lunchbox when I notice a plastic shopping bag inside with his overalls that I sent him to school in. I figure he must have spilled something or had a poopy explosion…no big deal. As I’m walking to the fridge to get his lunchbox I think, “Hmm…his spare clothes were overalls. He doesn’t have any overalls on.” He was sitting in the table so I couldn’t see his legs. I pick him up. He doesn’t have pants on!! Better yet, he has a onesie on underneath his shirt that isn’t his. Completely puzzled I look in his backpack and sure enough, there is the neatly folded pile of clothes in the clearly labeled ziplock bag – “Marty’s Spare Clothes”. WTF??!! So I ask the teacher, “Do you know what happened here?” Her super helpful response… “NO! I just got here!” Mind you it was 4:30 pm – she didn’t just get there. This is the same woman I had problems with before and she isn’t his teacher anymore, but his normal teacher is on vacation . So she turns her back to me immediately and ignores me – so mature. Another woman walks in and I ask her if she knew what the story was, meanwhile I’m changing him into his spare clothes so I can give the school back their onesie :. She says she didn’t know either, but thought it was funny that he didn’t have pants on and didn’t think I’d send him in like that. I mean he looked ridiculous – onesie, collared polo shirt, and sandals. I don’t care about him not wearing pants at home, but they were out on the playground like this and he could have gotten hurt. On top of it, I sent a spare set of clothes that were clean. My biggest issue…why the heck doesn’t anyone know what happened to my child?!?! I pay these people BIG money and all they could say was “I don’t know.” His morning teacher had left for the day, her shift ends at 2:30, so I completely understand her not being there. I called the director and LOST IT on the phone which I’m not too proud of, but I’m sorry, I’m infuriated at this point. I seriously think I have to look for another daycare. This is just getting ridiculous. Turns out he had diarrhea (after examining his clothes) and despite that, the woman gave him cheese anyway even though there were crackers in his lunchbox. Now I ask you, would you give a kid the cheese if he had the runs when crackers were an option?? !

One more thing…the school rule is that 2 messy BM’s and/or a fever = a call to mom/dad to pick up. If no one claimed to know he had the first diarrhea movement, how would anyone know to call me if he had a second??!! Is it just me??? GRRRRR!!!!

to you all…that’s all I have to add. Sorry, no rainbows or sunshine tonight

Jessica - I my guys!! DH Marty (4-22-06) DS Marty (7-2-07) DS Anderson (4-12-10)
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#128 of 392 Old 07-11-2008, 10:03 PM
 
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My friend had her baby today. He was 9lbs, 4oz. They told her he weighed that 3 weeks ago and would be a 10+ pound baby, I love hearing how wrong they always are.

I don't know how the actual labor or birth went but I will hear that later, she left circing up to her DH and is still convinced on doing Baby Wise so we shall see how it plays out I suppose.
Wow, that's a healthy boy!! Congrats to your friend!

Jessica - I my guys!! DH Marty (4-22-06) DS Marty (7-2-07) DS Anderson (4-12-10)
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#129 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 11:00 AM
 
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Our fire is still 95% contained, but there are others in this county and in the neighboring county that aren't, and it's smoky smoky smoky here and my dh can't breathe (he has asthma) so we're gettin' outta dodge. we're going to my parents - about 5 hours from here. we looked at the weather forecast for closer places, but they're smoky too. so it's the freakin' crack of dawn, and we're trying to get ready (didn't decide till 10pm last night that we were leaving.) I hate the crack of dawn. i'm trying to pay my credit card bill online and it's being a PITA. did i mention it's waaaay too early to be awake?

we spent a lot of last weekend at high sierra music fest which was fun!!! two nights ago we were at our friend's bday party, she just turned 6. last night we went to a concert in the park in the town about 20 miles from here. fun times! but we've been out late - so add me to the tired mamas list. although it's my own fault. what other mama keeps their kids at a music fest till midnight two nights in a row? it was good though. although this crack of dawn thing isn't helping me catch up on sleep.

i haven't posted much lately, but i've been reading. but now i'll be computer-less for a couple days.

::

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#130 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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Jeanine is this your fire? http://apnews.excite.com/article/200...D91SGBP80.html

I am glad that it is contained. It sucks you still have to leave because of smoke. I hope it all settles down soon and you can get back to normal. All your parties sound fun. :

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#131 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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mrsb ~ I think that I would be starting the process of finding a new situation for him. They have repeatedly done things that defy common sense and have no answer for it afterward. It doesn't seem harmful but just not a great environment. I am so sorry they are doing this and being so lame about the whole thing. I hope the perfect situation shows itself to you so the decision is easy. You have every right to be pissed about it.

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#132 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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Are you ladies sick of me complaining yet? I feel like a total whiner, but man. I never really understood what feeling "touched out" was like until today. I think it's been building all week, because Lucy's gone back and forth between good nights and nights where she's nursing every half hour or 45 minutes. Last night was one of those and I was hot all night to boot, so having her constantly touching me was just making me hotter and more miserable. I've had two or three crying bouts today because I just feel like I have no time or space to myself...then I feel bad about feeling that way and it just makes it worse. I just sit here wishing she'd sleep in the crib, or eat more solids so she's nursing less, or just play by herself a few feet away from me for more than 3 minutes at a time. It's been a really rough day, emotionally.

Rachel, mama to Lucy, born 9.9.07, and Caroline, born 2.25.10!
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#133 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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Ishy ~ I hate that feeling so much. I am pretty much always feeling touched out because I have sensory issues and can't really handle too much touch. I totally understand the spiral of feeling bad and then feeling bad about feeling bad. The thing that helps me is to try to just experience the moment and realize that I am actually physically okay in the moment, kids are safe, I am sad but I try to just let that be. I feel my fingers and my toes etc and just try to come to the current moment and not get caught up in what I have been through or what might be coming next. I don't know if it will help you but thought I would mention it. : : I hope some of this comes your way soon.

Don't worry about being a downer. I was a horrible downer for months and months. Everyone was kind and understanding and supported me through it. We are here for you and totally understand the hard parts of mothering. You are not alone!!! Is there any way you could get a bit of a break to take a shower, lie down, read a book or something else that helps make you feel whole again? Sending lots of love your way. :

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#134 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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Thanks Wendi, I appreciate the support! I'm trying to find a way to get out of the house by myself for an hour or two a week...dh is happy to help with Lucy so I can take a bath and read or whatever, but I still feel "on-call" because he tends to pop in whenever she's getting whiny or anything and even if he's not intentionally rushing me or asking me to get out, I never feel like I can completely leave mommy-mode and unwind. I have that dance teacher exam coming in October and have gotten pretty much NO dancing done yet, so I'm looking into getting out to go practice at a studio once a week or something if I can find somewhere that will let me use their space for cheap. I'm also having trouble articulating all of this to dh, which is stupid because he's spent the last 6 years getting me to talk about what bothers me instead of bottling it up, but today I just feel like talking is going to upset me more and I know closing him out is upsetting him, but I feel like the silence is helping me cope.

Rachel, mama to Lucy, born 9.9.07, and Caroline, born 2.25.10!
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#135 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 07:35 PM
 
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Can you maybe share with him in writing (print out what you wrote here?) and that way he could know how you are feeling but you can still be silent? If he is that attentive and wants to help then spelling it out for him could really ease the situation. Either way I am here to listen. You can always pm me if you want to share more than you are comfortable here. I have been down some pretty dark mothering roads and nothing you could say would scare me off. I am really sorry you are struggling.
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#136 of 392 Old 07-12-2008, 07:41 PM
 
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I think my friend may have had a c-section. I was looking at her pics that her SIL posted and they had her hooked up to a couple IV bags of something with a red sticker on it and she was doing breathing treatments (I assume for blood clots?). I don't know if that's what they do for c-sections. She was flat out in bed and looked pretty out of it, that's what I remember from my SIL's c-section. I'm still hoping she had a vaginal birth but I kind of already knew before she went to the hospital that it was unlikely. Makes me feel like shit.

I just got word from my friend Trish that one of our mutual friends from school had to have an emergency c-section and may have to have a heart transplant soon, she ended up having postpartum cardiomyopathy. Her baby has a hole in one lung and the other is very weak, so both are in critical condition right now. She had childhood cancer when we were kids and did get better, so I think that may have something to do with this. Please keep my friend Nicole and her baby Nathan in your thoughts :

mrsb - I'm sorry about daycare, I think I agree with Wendi that you may have to find another place? Is he at on-post daycare? If so, I often hear hit and miss about it. They tend to be better with older kids but not so good with babies and toddlers. I really hope that DH starts to be more receptive to your feelings and understanding, could you maybe write him a letter? I know guys just don't think sometimes and start saying things they shouldn't so maybe sending him a letter will give him a chance to come up with his words beforehand.

Jeanine - I hope your DH is doing okay with the smoke and you're able to escape it, sounds like you guys are having fun despite the fires!

s Ishy - I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Wendi is full of good advice.

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#137 of 392 Old 07-13-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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Hi all! This lack of sleep thing is killing me. Dahlia has woken up the past two nights around 3am and stayed up for over an hour. She is not sleeping well, waking constantly to nurse or only wanting to sleep with my boob in her mouth. She is more clingy than usual too.

I want to go do something fun today but it's going to be hot and I am exhausted.

I hope you are all doing well today.

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#138 of 392 Old 07-13-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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Hi ladies.

Sorry I can't take the time for personals but I hope you are all having a great weekend. We went hiking yesterday and Linus loved it. I was worried it was too hot (I had him in the ergo) but he didn't mind at all. I did. It was 94 and HUMID. Today was a bit of cooking and cleaning and hanging around the wading pool.

Linus has his 4 center teeth and must be getting more. He is fussy, clingy, and gringing his teeth. I can't stand the sound. It makes me scream out, then he cries and then I pout because I upset him (and he is grinding his teeth). Other than that he is stinking cute running around in a diaper and him amber necklace.

Unless I decide not to cut his hair for a long time I am not sure I can make it another 8 weeks until his birthday. It is covering his ears and in his face. It is a family trait as ds1 is also trying to grow his hair out and I can't figure out what to do with it. Headbands and clips seem out of place on an almost 12 yo boy.

Looking forward to hearing more from you very quiet mommas soon!

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#139 of 392 Old 07-14-2008, 11:31 AM
 
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No time for personals here, either. It's been a really intense couple of days. My dear friend from MDC who struggled w/infertility for years & years & finally got pg w/twins had PROM at 28 weeks. She's in the hospital & I don't know what's happening... I'm so worried. Please send out "stay put" vibes if you can.
A friend & distant relation of my dh died the other morning of cancer at age 35 & left a 17 mo behind. It's so, so sad.

Why does it take stuff like this to pull me out of my funk? It makes my troubles seem so small & self-imposed. I am so thankful to be alive & be mom.

Lily cut her own hair. I was getting Ru to sleep & I came out & she was so proud, she was so sassy, too... she kept saying "that's what you get for saying you'd cut my hair if I didn't want to brush it!". Luckily, the shortest parts were in the middle back so we fixed it into a cute bob.
Gotta run, dr's appointment out of town.
Blessings, mamas!!
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#140 of 392 Old 07-14-2008, 08:46 PM
 
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I hope everyone is out enjoying fun and sun!

Dahlia has not been sleeping well at all and has been extra fussy. I think she must be getting more teeth on the bottom. She also seems to want to practice cruising in her sleep. She crawls to the wall and tries to stand up half asleep. Silly girl! A couple nights she has been up for over an hour in the wee hours of the night. She was flopping around the bed and couldn't get my dh to wake up and came back over to me and said "da da daddy ni ni ni!" It was so cute! She is such a talker. Her and Eavan are playing together right now. He figured out that she can be fun. :

Nothing much new around here. Just living life and enjoying my babies.

Kaija's belly is getting so round. Eavan got really concerned when he heard I would be the grandmother of the baby. He said I couldn't be. I asked him why and he said "because you have to be MY mom!" Awwww! I explained that would never change. I just love him so much. He takes me to the limits but he gives back a lot.

Wendi
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#141 of 392 Old 07-14-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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Beemama ~ I am sending lot of good stay put vibes : to your friend. I am sorry about your dh's friend. That is so sad.
I know how it is when tragedies like that happen, it can really snap me awake and make me realize I just don't have it that bad.

It's good that you can be alright with Lily cutting her hair. I wish I could have been that way when Kaija cut her hair. I was just devestated. You'd think she cut my hair!

Wendi
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#142 of 392 Old 07-14-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lactivist View Post
Jeanine is this your fire? http://apnews.excite.com/article/200...D91SGBP80.html

I am glad that it is contained. It sucks you still have to leave because of smoke. I hope it all settles down soon and you can get back to normal. All your parties sound fun. :

Wendi
that is *not* our fire, thank goodness. that one's probably about 50 miles from here, as the crow flies. "ours" is called the cold fire, and it's pretty much contained - the last i've heard is 95% and the containment lines are holding and it's in "mop-up and patrol status". there are 5 or 6 others in this county, too, so it's pretty smoky at times.

we had a good time at my parents. we went to the beach (at the ocean) one day and it was a lot of fun. and my cousin was in the area so we went to dinner with him. he lives not too far from us - like 55 miles as the crow flies - but it would take about three hours to get there probably. so it was nice to see him, too.

we're home now, and it's a little smoky.

jamison did pretty well in the car. it takes about five hours. she did pretty well at my parents house too, she was crawling all over and thank goodness not being too much of a cling-on. she had a blast at the beach. she was all covered in sand and ate a fair amount of it. i was grossed out, but she really enjoyed herself. i stuck her feet in the ocean, but she didn't like it. it is a little cold.

i'm off to catch up. then i have to catch up on my work - bleh.

Mama to three  
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#143 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 11:52 AM
 
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jeaninevp~ so glad it's almost contained and that the trip/visit went well.

wendi~ i think if she had cut off her bangs as she had planned it would've been different, luckily there are no bald spots showing. thanks for the good vibes for my friend.... she's an amazing mama... i hope everything reseals & those babies stay put for a while.

that is so sweet about eavan! awww, and your dd's belly growing round. hope you got a good night's rest. ruby rolls over into dh once the sun is up saying "da da da da".

the friend who just lost his fiance came over last night for waffles, he brought their 17 mo, james.... he played w/ruby and she just adored it. he kept bringing her things & she looked at him like she was in love. he's back home after several months of staying at a relative's that lived closer to the hospital his mama was in. once they got back home, he started in earnest asking for his mama, he goes from room to room asking for her. last night he kept walking over to the stairs and asking if she was up there. it was breaking my heart. i remember that when jess died, somebody was going to make a quilt of her clothes for the boys... (was that you, mrsb422?) and i offered to do the same for james... his father was very receptive & said that would be great, he wants to make her as tangible as possible.

mrsb422~ just wanted to give you huge hugs for losing your friend. i hope you're getting lots of them.
i would definitely look for different care for your sweet boy... this is an ongoing thing and they really seem insensitive & unprofessional. I hope the perfect situation manifests for you!


KatieJD~ keeping your friend & her baby in my thoughts :

ishiefishy~ ught, I hate HATE that feeling. when my oldest was little, my dh was very much like yours & I just dealt with it... but it got to be unbearable... my skin would just crawl. Now he KNOWS that he had better give me more time and just pushes through... cause if mama ain't happy... NOBODY is happy.
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#144 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 12:19 PM
 
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Hi Mamas!
So DS is acting strange, I think, when it comes to nursing.
After being sick last week, he went back to nursing and started sleeping really well. We felt like the virus he may have had, had a little blessing attached since he was sleeping so well during the day and at night.
That changed a little over the weekend. It took forever to get him back to sleep when he woke up. He didn't want to nurse with me in bed, not for long anyway. So we go to the futon in "his" room where we usually nurse before naps,etc. and would pull off and start to cry. So DH makes him a bottle (we still supplement) and guzzles down 6 oz. and starts to pass out in my arms after. This has been the pattern since Sat. and is beginning to include naps. He just nurses for a tad bit and pulls off and struggles with me.
We don't nurse much during the day anymore except before and after nap time. I nurse him whenever he wakes up at night. He doesn't even like to sleep in our bed with us anymore... except after he was sick.
Anyway, I'm just wondering what the signs are when a babe doesn't want to nurse. It makes me sad that he's prefering the bottle during our nursing time. My supply may be low as AF is here and/or maybe he's teething with the one year molars.
Any thoughts?

On another note: sorry I haven't been around. DH got sick after me last week and then our internet seemed to be having problems. If I get a chance I'll go back and read the posts.

SAHM and loving it with DH, DS (8/4/2007) and DS (10/10/2010)
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#145 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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nikkihoi, before one year I would usually think of a nursing strike and not weaning. Your situation is a little different because of the regular supplementing. Perhap he is prefering the faster flow of the bottle, perhaps he is teething, perhaps there are many factors that are bothering him. If you want to continue the nursing relationship I would continue to offer the breast as much as you can and chalk it up to distractibility for now. Pump to maintain supply and comfort. I am so impressed with how you have hung in there and worked so hard at this relationship.

I hope everyone is healthy at your house soon.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#146 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 01:06 PM
 
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Beemama ~ that is so sad about that baby looking for his mama! :

Nikki ~ I would guess that he is biding his time at the breast for comfort and waiting for the fast flow of the bottle. Is he still using newborn nipples? If not I would switch back to make the flow slower. Or what about using the Haberman again to slow the flow and get him more interested in the breast? I know how committed you are to breastfeeding and I know none of it has come easily for you. I have to stand up and cheer for what you have done so far. I would work on increasing supply, trying to slow down the flow of the bottle nipple, keep offering often (even mid bottle after his initial hunger is satisfied), and ultimately if he does wean please please be gentle on yourself. My first baby ended up weaned at 13 months and it was sad for me but ultimately she is amazingly happy and healthy and got a great foundation.

Wendi
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#147 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 01:35 PM
 
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Nikkihoi - I really can't add any more than what others have said. It seems like more of a strike to me since it's very common around age one.

Beemama - Sending stay-put vibes to your friend, and I'm sorry for the loss of your friend as well

I got the full story today about my friend's birth. She started pitocin after mild contractions with the cervadill. She labored for 8 or 9 hours, got an epidural, got to 2cm and consented to a c-section for failure to progress. She's having a horrible time with recovery and has had a spinal headache, she passed out in the hospital bathroom. I feel awful for her but there was nothing I could do. I sent her a congrats today and told her that it's okay to take some time to process everything and I'm there to talk if she needs to.

Andrew got a bunch of goodies from a German bakery he likes this morning, he lived in Germany as a kid so it reminds him of that. Liam just had a pretzel roll and got it all over the floor It seems like he has changed so much the last few days, he went through a growth spurt and my boobs feel A LOT fuller lately. He weighed in at 30lbs. on the scale so I attribute it to that.

Does anybody have any homeopathic recommendations for anxiety? My depression has been in check with fish oil, but I still have anxiety issues that I don't know how to resolve. It isn't like social anxiety or OCD or anything, I'm just a worrier but it tends to be all consuming at times and I hate feeling like this.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#148 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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30lbs of beautiful boy! Wow!!! You rock!

You might want to look into Bach Flower essences. I know there is one for repetitive thoughts and can look it up later for you if you want me to.

Wendi
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#149 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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I keep meaning to post an update along with responding to various posts, but haven't had time! Now Lucy's on the verge of waking up from her nap, so just a quick note. I'm feeling much better, she slept 5 hours straight on Saturday night which helped a ton! She hasn't done that long a stretch since the beginning of January. I woke up on Sunday feeling refreshed and happy, was able to talk to dh about wanting some time to myself as well as needing time and support to make sure I do some dance practice every day, and have been feeling good since then. Tired, since she went back to her usual nursing every 1-2 hours at night, but optimistic!

To go along with her "yay!" clapping, Lucy can now also point to her nose when we ask her where it is (followed by super-excited clapping for herself, lol). We went to the zoo yesterday with some local mommies and it was nice to get out of the house on a beautiful day and meet some new people. There were several other babies Lucy's age. The mother of one of them offered me cheese puffs that she was feeding her little one, all I could say was, "Um, no thank you." Then I watched her poor a Capri Sun juice box into the baby's bottle and hand it to the baby, who spent the entire zoo trip strapped into a bucket seat hooked onto the stroller. That baby is tiny (I think she said she was 15 lbs at 9 months) and only nursing twice a day, she seemed shocked that Lucy nurses every few hours (at least!). I wish I had thought to mention that she'd dropped in weight percentiles and that breastfeeding more often was the best way to "fatten her up," since that mom had mentioned at the last playdate that she was supposed to be fattening up her little one after her last WBV.

Rachel, mama to Lucy, born 9.9.07, and Caroline, born 2.25.10!
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#150 of 392 Old 07-15-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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Thanks, Wendi! I just went and bought the whole kit Nobody tell Andrew, okay? Lately I just worry a lot about moving and deployment and things like that, the current state of affairs in our country just pisses me off and I worry a lot about my family.

Ishy - I'm glad you were able to catch up on sleep, I know how much of a difference it can make. I'm sorry you had that experience with that other mama, it bothers me to no end to see that kind of thing but I just try to avoid it as much as possible. I think we need an MDC commune IRL. I vote we all move to Wendi's house

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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