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#1 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 04:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 9 1/2 week old has me completely mentally and physically exhausted. I will tell you now you don't need to read this as it's not advice I need as much as to get some of this out. Besides, I've heard all the advice and it's useless.

He gets up every night at 2 am, like clockwork. I wouldn't care except he then spends the next 2-3 hours up, wanting to play. I've already done the ignoring him part. It doesn't work. He will play by himself (and does). Nothing puts him back to sleep. This is a daily occurance. He almost NEVER sleeps. He won't sleep during the day unless I put him in a carrier of some kind and carry him around. This, obviously, means I can't sleep. I can't even wait until he's asleep because as soon as I put him down he's screaming and awake and wants to be held. So he gets naps, while I expend even more energy. There is nobody here during the day who can help. I have no family near here and my friends have all pretty much had it. Besides, they don't get it because if I leave him with one of them, he SLEEPS FINE. He'll go down for a nap, happily take a bottle and all is good. So clearly, he simply hates me and wants me to die a slow death, but whatever. At night he won't sleep either. I have a swing (screams), a vibraty seat (screams), his carseat (screams), two meiteis and a sling (see above). I have bounced, swayed, rocked, snuggled and shushed myself to death. I have swaddled (screams some more and kicks violently). I have put him on the dryer, run the vacuum and walked until I could pass out. In fact, I have. Several times I have slept for 2-3 hours while he cried because I am that far exhausted. We aren't talking a little sleep deprived. Some days I get as little as 2 hours of sleep over 24 hours. It makes no difference if I'm laying next to him or not, if I'm in the room or not. If he is not physically touching me he's not happy and sometimes he has to be IN my arms, being held before he's happy.

He still eats constantly. Please don't tell me how freakin normal it is. He's capable of eating enough to sleep - he can do it for other people. With me he wants to eat every hour. All day, all night. I spend all of it sitting on a couch. I finally started pumping so that at least somebody else could feed him. It doesn't help.

The stupid pooping noises are getting ridiculous. A simple fart or poop is a major production that entails screaming, grunting and moaning. Every doctor and LC that sees him has a different thought. None of those thoughts has panned out, except for the prescription gas drops which at the very least allow me the couple of hours of sleep that I do get.

And what really makes the whole thing worse is that he's FINE for everybody outside of our house. He won't sleep for us but for anybody else he's a model baby. Please don't waste time telling me how he's only 2 months, it'll get better by such and such a time. I've been told different ages by numerous people and each time the age comes and goes and still no change. It's become clear to me that I'm simply the worst mother in the world, my baby knows that and hates me for it. I wish I'd never done AP. Anybody I know who is mainstream has a baby that can be put down and will sleep and doesn't eat every hour on the hour. This sucks.

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#2 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 04:32 AM
 
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It does suck! You may not believe it, but it will get better. You are NOT a bad mother, and your baby is not doing this on purpose and he certainly doesn't hate you. You are his whole world, so much so that he wants you all the time. Don't feel bad if you have to leave him in his crib crying to get some sleep if that is the only thing that works. YOU HAVE TO SLEEP, you are human and you won't be able to care for him if you don't get some sleep. Yes it sucks for him to cry, but better that then you going crazy from no sleep whatsoever.

Sleep deprivation has been used for torture, it can be very serious, get some sleep whatever it takes you have to have it. You'll be a better mother if you do, even if it means he is stuck in the crib, better that than you falling asleep while driving or halucinating because of the lack of sleep!

Hang in there, it may not get better, but you'll get better at dealing with it.

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#3 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 04:42 AM
 
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My daughter was a very wakeful baby too (and constantly attached to the boob). It's a lot of work...especially seeing other people's babies that go to sleep so easily and sleep so much of the time. A wakeful baby is SO much more work, it seems unfair! I won't say when things will get 'better', he'll probably always need less sleep than you'd expect. But chances are he'll be a super smart little guy from all his time awake and learning instead of sleeping the days away.

Hope you get some quality sleep soon. :

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#4 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 05:25 AM
 
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I couldn't read and not post. I'm just going to be blunt and brief here, as it's 4:22 am and my own wakeful baby finally fell asleep....

You sound like me with my first child. His first year was baptism by fire. He had reflux, colic, and was generally a very very VERY high needs, fussy baby. I do not have pleasant memories of his babyhood. It was torture. He woke every hour to hour and a half 24/7 the first 9 months of his life.

I remember how I felt, and reading your post just makes my heart ache for you. I remember how alone and horrible and pretty much psychotic I felt (sleep deprivation IS a form of torture, after all). I remember how angry and frustrated I felt. It was just awful, and NO ONE I knew IRL "got it." I was too ashamed to post online what was really going on, thinking it was my mothering (it wasn't). I was full of rage and frustration and sadness to the point that I really was borderline postpartum psychotic, not just postpartum depressed. It was BAD. Bad, BAD. We had no help except each other (no family in the area, friends all worked, no sitter), too.

Please feel free to PM me if you want, I know what you're going through, and I know how awful it feels.

Hugs to you. I wish I could be there in person to help you.
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#5 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 05:34 AM
 
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Sounds exactly like my DS! With a high needs babe, it really does feel like you're going crazy at times. Lack of sleep really does suck as well. But you know what? You will trade off this lack of sleep for something else as he gets older and if will be easier to deal with. I found myself wishing and praying for him to just grow up and get this really hard stage over with, but now I find myself wishing I could get those days back and appreciate them more because they grow up SO fast. So fast that you blink your eyes and they're walking and talking and running away from you, and those early months that were so hard are a distant memory. My DS does sleep a little more now, we found that getting him to bed at a later time often helped him get more sleep and he didn't wake in the night as much. It seems like they get a big chunk of sleep early on and they're ready to party in the middle of the night.

You're not a bad mother for feeling this way. We all go through it at some point. It does come down to survival, however I do not advocate CIO and I'm sure that's not what you're asking for. Is there any way you could find a mother's helper who could help out during the day so you could get a nap? Maybe a teenager in the neighborhood who is out of school for the summer? Heck, if you were near me I'd come help you.

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#6 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 07:44 AM
 
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just wanted to give you a :

can your partner watch the baby for the majority of a weekend (with pumped milk on-hand) so you can get some sleep? there is nothing worse than lack of sleep and everything in the world always seems insurmountable when you're exhausted.

and i know you said you'd heard all the advice and you probably already have, but when you mentioned the gas and the screaming it occurred to me that he might either have yeast in his belly (which can be kicked with probiotics - DD1 had this and was a nightmare around the 2 month mark until our ped figured it out) or he might be having a reaction to something in your diet. probiotics are so good for babies anyway, you might try it and see if it helps at all. couldn't hurt, right?

also, do you think he'd stay asleep in the mei tai if you sat down, after maybe 30 minutes of walking so you know he's really out? i've taken many a nap sitting in a recliner with a baby asleep in a mei tai. any port in a storm. or have you tried driving him in the car to get him to sleep on occasion? and would he stay asleep in the car? sleeping in the car isn't the greatest but i've done that too and was glad for it.

FWIW, DD1 was very high needs and nursed every 2 hours around the clock for, well, a long time. she is now 5 and after a story or two lays down in her bed next to our family bed, closes her eyes, and falls asleep and stays asleep all night barring the occasional illness or bad dream. it's probably no consolation right now, but high needs babies are, IMO, the ones that need AP the most. i have a friend who tried to do very mainstream, CIO, etc. parenting with her DS who was very high needs and he is now 5 yo and frankly a total mess. and don't believe all those people who tell you their babies never fuss and sleep through the night at 2 days old or whatever. i know there are people who have those babies, but for the most part people are scared to admit to others what really goes on because everyone is so obsessed with STTN and babies being 'independent'.
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#7 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 07:59 AM
 
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My daughter is not as extreme, but I can relate to what you're saying. Although our problems were flipped. She was an easy newborn and then wham! became super high needs and stopped sleeping.

The only thing you haven't mentioned is getting a sitter to help out. You need sleep momma. This mothering gig is not supposed to be fatal.

Yes, I know the budget doesn't include child care b/c you were supposed to be the child care, but that was before you had the child you have. Now you need to find a way to survive. If nothing else is working, get some help so at least you can get some sleep. The focus should be you getting some sleep. From there everything else will follow.

And if your LO ends up fussing while you collapse b/c they can't figure out how to sleep themselves, then that's how it's going to be.


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#8 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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I'm sitting here with a 9 1/2 week-old who's been up pretty much since 3:30am (it's 7:45), so I totally understand what you're going through. He's discovered his hands, and when he wakes up to nurse, he just HAS to play with them (busting out of any swaddle I've been able to throw at him) until he's so tired he's crying and playing with them at the same time. We don't have gas issues, so I can only imagine what it's like with that on top of it.

Has he been high-needs from birth? Isaac has. He has mellowed vastly in the past week or so, but he's still such a touchy little guy (and I know he gets that from his mommy). He's on his tummy and doesn't want to be, so I flip him over onto his back... problem solved, right? Nope, he's still upset, even though the wrong has been righted. He IS passing out of the not-happy-in-any-position stage, slowly but surely, but it's slow going. And yeah, he seems to reserve his most impressive crying displays for DH and me. My father can shush him to sleep in no time flat, and I lay in bed at night while he pops on and off, and (kinda) I sleep in awful contorted positions because if I move he wakes up again.

You are doing a wonderful job with your little guy. BUT... remember what they tell you on airplanes. Put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you. Why do they say that? Because otherwise they end up with TWO oxygen-deprived people. You need a break, not because you're a bad mama, but because you're such a good one. In order to keep up your level of parental dedication, you need a break. Plain and simple. I don't know how to help in your specific situation, but discuss it with your partner. Something has to give, you know? I can tell just from the few paragraphs you've written that you're exhausted, frustrated, and hurting.


Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#9 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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my lo was very needy the first two months. I feel for you mama!

Have you thought about a chiropracter? I have heard of them doing wonders for high needs babies.......
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#10 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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Please know that you are a wonderful mamma! My DD was pretty high needs, too, although not in the exact same way as your DS. I remember people thought we were spoiling her and encouraging her to be "difficult" by being AP, but in truth that's just the way she was. We didn't do anything to cause her to wake up every hour at night for 6 months straight, scream if she was being held held too much before she was 2 MO, scream if she wasn't being held 24/7 after she was 2 MO, etc. Like a PP said, chances are your babe needs AP more than others. I know mine did!

The only things that helped when DD was at her most high needs were: co-sleeping, baby wearing and reminding myself that many babies are just easier. No matter how exhausted and frustrated I felt I was doing the right thing for my baby.

You can do it! You're a great mamma! Your babe loves you!

SAHM to DD (6/07) and DS (10/09); happily married to DH since 2/04 .
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#11 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 01:26 PM
 
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I had a breakdown last night b/c I feel like a terrible mom for wanting my baby to sleep instead of wanting to play with him. I just wanted you to know that I am feeling some of the same things, not that that makes it easier to deal with; but you are not alone in this!! My baby is 3 months and although he is not as fussy anymore he still eats every 2 hours all night and day if I'm around. But magically if he's with my husband he can go 4 hours!!
A couple things that have helped us are a chiropractor and probiotics. Biogaia is what we use but you can find similar stuff at any health food store. I think one of my big hang ups is that I'm a pediatric nurse practitioner and I felt like I knew what to expect going in but knowing what will happen and living it are two totally different things. Don't be afraid to hand the baby over to a trusted relative or friend for a little while. It will make you a more rested mom and the quality of your time with your child is very important. Good luck and my thoughts are with you.
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#12 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 01:32 PM
 
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This sounds like it is really serious. I think you need to show this to your dh and you both need to solve this immediately.

Some places to look for help:

Local churches, even if you aren't a member
LLL groups. They can offer suggestion of local people who can help.
local moms groups
post-partum support groups (call the leader and ask for help asap)
local pediatricians and OB's
psychiatrist who specializes in post-partum and family issues
post-partum doulas. Often they know people who are available for help or can help themselves.

Don't put this off. Email this thread to your husband or have him read it tonight so you can put a plan into effect today and tomorrow!

By the way, I could have written your post. I went through an earthquake and just thought I was dizzy, i was so tired! Not good!

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#13 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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Take the kid to the chiropractor. It sounds like something is out of whack.

You sound like me when I had my daughter. Loved her to pieces, but oh, what I would have done for SLEEP!!!!!!

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#14 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 01:49 PM
 
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Have you investigated food allergies? Elim diet?
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#15 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 02:05 PM
 
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Don't give up on AP--if anything, delve further into it, and I think you'll all be happier! My baby is 3 months old, and is still held by us or sleeping next to/on us about 22-23 hours a day. He sleeps in our bed, naps in the afternoon on me, is carried in a sling (we don't have a stroller), and "alone time" for him consists of him playing by himself when he wants, and a short morning nap alone (after falling asleep with one of us next to him, sucking on our finger.

Is that "normal"? No, if "normal" means "typical". I had planned on attachment parenting, but this was more extreme than I figured. However, 3 months into it, I wouldn't change it for anything, especially seeing how fast he is growing up. He is happy, and doesn't do "normal" things like cry at night, or stay up wanting attention, because we're right there. I firmly believe having him with me all the time has done wonders for my milk production (which is good, since he eats every 1-2 hours all day) and for understanding how he communicates with us. I also believe this bond will strengthen our relationship for the rest of our lives.

He is still a very dramatic baby (even diaper changes make him cry, and he'll cry if he is in anyone's arms but mine in the evenings), but I have noticed in the last month that he feels very comfortable with us, and we're a very bonded family due to his requirements. I find it awesome that someone so new and helpless could teach us so much about what he needs, which is to be held and loved. I'd take our bond any day over the babies I see out in public, who spend their days alone and seldom touched.

But...You need to sleep! Will he sleep on your chest, or next to you? I take a nap with lo when needed, and he wakes up once or twice in the night (since he's right there, I just have to roll over to feed him lying down), so I'm sleeping 7-8 hours a day. During his most easy going time of day, do you have someone who could hold him while you take a nap?
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#16 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Aww, Christy, I'm so sorry you are going through this... I am sending you hugs and will keep you in my thoughts!

Some of what you describe is familiar from my ds#1's first year. After being awakened for the 6th time, dh would start stomping around screaming that the baby was trying to kill us! It makes me laugh now but it was horrible then. It sounds like you also feel Aeden is out to get you (I'm not saying you believe that -- just that it feels that way) and I hope you can take some breaks and get enough rest that your frustration with him mellows a little bit...

I know we were too sleep deprived to find our way out of it for a while but 1 thing that helped a lot was to pump so I could go sleep in the basement for a 3 hour stretch and dh could do a bottle and rock and walk and sling and whatever for that time. (I went to the basement so if there was crying, I didn't feel obligated to try to calm him then. Dh was with him.) Then dh could go to the basement for the rest of the night.
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#17 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch View Post
Please feel free to PM me if you want, I know what you're going through, and I know how awful it feels.

Hugs to you. I wish I could be there in person to help you.
Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post
Has he been high-needs from birth? Isaac has. He has mellowed vastly in the past week or so, but he's still such a touchy little guy (and I know he gets that from his mommy). He's on his tummy and doesn't want to be, so I flip him over onto his back... problem solved, right? Nope, he's still upset, even though the wrong has been righted. He IS passing out of the not-happy-in-any-position stage, slowly but surely, but it's slow going. And yeah, he seems to reserve his most impressive crying displays for DH and me. My father can shush him to sleep in no time flat, and I lay in bed at night while he pops on and off, and (kinda) I sleep in awful contorted positions because if I move he wakes up again.
He wasn't like this in the NICU(he spent a week there) but has kind of developed it over the past 2 months. He gets mad that he can't crawl, that he can't stand, even if I help. I wish cosleeping would help, but he can't side lie nurse. We've been trying but all that's been accomplished is my poor DH is now totally sleep deprived.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdahlgrd View Post
This sounds like it is really serious. I think you need to show this to your dh and you both need to solve this immediately.

Some places to look for help:

Local churches, even if you aren't a member
LLL groups. They can offer suggestion of local people who can help.
local moms groups
post-partum support groups (call the leader and ask for help asap)
local pediatricians and OB's
psychiatrist who specializes in post-partum and family issues
post-partum doulas. Often they know people who are available for help or can help themselves.
My DH knows what's going on and like me has no clue what to do anymore. I'm not depressed - I love my baby and take good care of him. I'm just exhausted. I've spoken to my ped, my OB and my LC and none of them has any more advice. And we don't have the money for a post partum doula or I'd have already hired one even though we have no money for it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post


Have you investigated food allergies? Elim diet?
After going down to water and brown rice for a week and seeing absolutely no change in him my LC said that's probably not the cause, scolded me for eating nothing but brown rice for a week and told me to go back to a normal diet... and again, no differences before or after. I discussed allergies withmy ped and she doubts that's the cause. She said we can do all the tests if we want but since there was no change with the elimination I did (and she scolded me too) she didn't see what he could be allergic to unless it's brown rice, which she doubts highly. I tend to agree with her.

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#18 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 02:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sparkly View Post
Don't give up on AP--if anything, delve further into it, and I think you'll all be happier! My baby is 3 months old, and is still held by us or sleeping next to/on us about 22-23 hours a day. He sleeps in our bed, naps in the afternoon on me, is carried in a sling (we don't have a stroller), and "alone time" for him consists of him playing by himself when he wants, and a short morning nap alone (after falling asleep with one of us next to him, sucking on our finger.

Is that "normal"? No, if "normal" means "typical". I had planned on attachment parenting, but this was more extreme than I figured. However, 3 months into it, I wouldn't change it for anything, especially seeing how fast he is growing up. He is happy, and doesn't do "normal" things like cry at night, or stay up wanting attention, because we're right there. I firmly believe having him with me all the time has done wonders for my milk production (which is good, since he eats every 1-2 hours all day) and for understanding how he communicates with us. I also believe this bond will strengthen our relationship for the rest of our lives.

He is still a very dramatic baby (even diaper changes make him cry, and he'll cry if he is in anyone's arms but mine in the evenings), but I have noticed in the last month that he feels very comfortable with us, and we're a very bonded family due to his requirements. I find it awesome that someone so new and helpless could teach us so much about what he needs, which is to be held and loved. I'd take our bond any day over the babies I see out in public, who spend their days alone and seldom touched.

But...You need to sleep! Will he sleep on your chest, or next to you? I take a nap with lo when needed, and he wakes up once or twice in the night (since he's right there, I just have to roll over to feed him lying down), so I'm sleeping 7-8 hours a day. During his most easy going time of day, do you have someone who could hold him while you take a nap?

I could have written this post - ds is 7 months old and still sleeps on my chest all night long. That's what we eventually figured out works for us. And while my shoulders ache every morning from holding him up there, at least I got a good night's sleep!! And "dramatic child" is such a good term. My ds isn't high needs enough to be high needs, dramatic is much more apt.

mama, I am sorry you're having such a hard time. I second the suggestion of finding a local teen who will accept a few bucks to watch your LO every afternoon so you can get a nap. And reach out to your LLL, church, etc. like a PP said - people will help you!!

Mama to DS (12/11/07) and partner to DH (08/08). Expecting #2 late November 2011!
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#19 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 03:12 PM
 
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I simply wanted to offer hugs. I dont wanna lie and say I knwo how you feel, because I dont, but I do know how it feels to need to just get something off your chest without the advice... and this probably isn't verry AP friendly, but for a 3 week period my son would do nothing but screm for about 4 hours every night no matter what... I broke out my mp3 player and downloaded some audiobooks... now I'm sure playing them that loud isn't good for my ears, and I didn't always focus on them totally, but it helped me to get my mind to kinda zone out... while still holding and loving my baby boy.... (maybe not liking him much then though) ... I wish I had something more constructive to offer, but just know that good thoughts are being sent your way....

OH yeah & jsut to let you know, what finally ended the screaming was figuring out that my little man liked to sleep with LOUD rock music playing... (not ear damaging loud) now he'll nap durring the day and even go in his bouncer as long as he has the cd playing

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#20 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 07:53 PM
 
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My 8-year-old was exactly like this. Exactly. (And my 14-month-old ain't a whole lot better, though.)

After exhausting all possibilities, our ped suggested his friend the chiropractor. Within 15 minutes of being adjusted, he was a totally different baby. Not perfect, sleep through-the-night-wonderful, but so much better. Adjustments every other week for him (and my DD) have kept everyone much happier.

And I totally agree with PPs: These kinds of babies are the ones who need AP the most.
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#21 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 08:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ChristyM26 View Post
Thank you.

After going down to water and brown rice for a week and seeing absolutely no change in him my LC said that's probably not the cause, scolded me for eating nothing but brown rice for a week and told me to go back to a normal diet... and again, no differences before or after. I discussed allergies withmy ped and she doubts that's the cause. She said we can do all the tests if we want but since there was no change with the elimination I did (and she scolded me too) she didn't see what he could be allergic to unless it's brown rice, which she doubts highly. I tend to agree with her.
Hang in there. I totally know where you are coming from. Ds is the amazing-never-sleeping-baby. He loves to be awake, particularly at night. His was linked to so allergies. He has egg, dairy, and peanut. If you are dealing with dairy allergies it can take up to 3 weeks for dairy to clear your system. I didn't see much of a change for almost 2 weeks. The first sign was his exczma cleared and then he started to sleep better. He still isn't a great sleeper but he's only up every 2 hours now.
Have you looked into reflux?
I'm so sorry you are so tired. I can be so hard to enjoy babyhood when you are so exhausted you can barely function.
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#22 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hang in there. I totally know where you are coming from. Ds is the amazing-never-sleeping-baby. He loves to be awake, particularly at night. His was linked to so allergies. He has egg, dairy, and peanut. If you are dealing with dairy allergies it can take up to 3 weeks for dairy to clear your system. I didn't see much of a change for almost 2 weeks. The first sign was his exczma cleared and then he started to sleep better. He still isn't a great sleeper but he's only up every 2 hours now.
Have you looked into reflux?
I'm so sorry you are so tired. I can be so hard to enjoy babyhood when you are so exhausted you can barely function.
I talked to my ped about reflux. He doesn't spit up, but she did give me some meds for it. It's pretty mild stuff but he's been taking it for about 2 weeks now. It hasn't really affected anything.

My LC did say that dairy can take awhile to clear out completely but she also said that there should be SOME effect if that was the cause and really there was NO change at all. He also has no symptoms of any allergies. I'm going to my allergist for my asthma in a couple weeks and I'll have the baby with me. I was figuring on asking him about allergies (who better to ask, right?) but I'm pretty sure he's not allergic to anything.

FunkSoulMommy, what's his favorite band?

To everyone suggesting a chiro, it's not covered by our insurance. How much does a chiro cost? I don't know that we can afford it (I just got the bill from the neonatologist from the NICU stay ) but I could look into it if it's not real expensive.

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#23 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 09:47 PM
 
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Around here, usually the co-pay for a chiro is the same as the fee for the adjustment so insurance doesnt make too much difference (unless you start doing all kinds of extra therapies and x-rays etc) I think is was between 25-40 for an adjustment? We are on a family plan so I dont remember how much each person costs per visit.

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#24 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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To everyone suggesting a chiro, it's not covered by our insurance. How much does a chiro cost? I don't know that we can afford it (I just got the bill from the neonatologist from the NICU stay ) but I could look into it if it's not real expensive.
Around $35 or $40, although we have one that adjusts for $15. He doesn't do babies, though.

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#25 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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I know this doesn't help now...but it might be a ray of hope...my DS was just like this, and now, is a DELIGHTFUL 2.5 year-old. All the holding, soothing, and sacrifice on my part seems to have paid off, as he is wonderfully adjusted now.

As far as a chiro, call around. Start in the phone book, ask first if they have experience with colicky/high needs babies, and then if they do, explain your situation, and ask directly if they have a sliding scale for their fees or if they have any way to help you. Be honest. I find that a lot of chiropractors have their hearts in the right place, and when insurance won't cover it, they will still try to help (some are not like this at all, of course).

With DS, we went at 4 mo, because I kept waiting for him to grow out of it at the 12 week mark. That mark came and went with NO change or improvement, so by 4 mos I was ready to try anything. The chiro checked him and adjusted him on a Mon, and asked us to come again on Wed and Fri. From Mon to Friday, it was like DS was a whole new baby:. I know this won't work for everyone, but it did work for us, and it's at least something to try.

Hang in there!!

This too shall pass.
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#26 of 43 Old 07-10-2008, 11:54 PM
 
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I couldn't read without offering some hugs too!

I also second the idea of a chiro. Seriously. After Noah's first adjustment he slept and slept and slept some more (he was pretty high needs before that). He was sooooooo out of whack it was crazy. Ours has helped him get rid of ear infections, coughs/colds etc. It really is quite something in terms of how much they can help. Especially with things like reflux etc.

I found ours through the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association

http://www.icpa4kids.com/



Hang in there sweetie!

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#27 of 43 Old 07-11-2008, 12:59 AM
 
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To everyone suggesting a chiro, it's not covered by our insurance. How much does a chiro cost? I don't know that we can afford it (I just got the bill from the neonatologist from the NICU stay ) but I could look into it if it's not real expensive.
The chiro we saw also did craniosacral. Honestly, it helped sometimes and did nothing others. But she was great... I think I cried and said "This f---n' sucks" for the first time in her office.

She charged $20 per visit. Some will let you do payment plans, too.

Hang in there. Our youngest son was/is extremely colicky and high needs. I was nodding my head while reading your post. We would sometimes be up until 3-4 am with him, screaming if he wasn't nursing. I couldn't sleep with him nursing. I remember bouncing him in the bouncy chair, with the shower running. I would then leave the shower run for hours (sheesh, what a waste of water) and sleep on the bathroom floor. The sleep deprivation is worse than anything I've ever experienced. I definitely feel you. It just makes everything suck.

The Sears' have a book called "The Fussy Baby Book" that I thought was helpful, too. There is a section in there about mommy meltdown that was me in a nutshell.

He's 13 months now and yea, I'm able to type this and get more sleep than I did then. But the memories are fresh!
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#28 of 43 Old 07-11-2008, 09:26 AM
 
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The chiro DH and I go to sees children for free because he feels that strongly about children needing chiropractic care. He chargtes $52 for adults.

But we take DD to a different one because we just wanted to try something different for her and her chiro office has a massage therapist, which we needed as well. I pay a $30 copay as they take our insurance.
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#29 of 43 Old 07-11-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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FunkSoulMommy, what's his favorite band?
yeah I know it sounds stupid... but I thought i'd throw it out there for you...

He likes anything with a heavy bass line... I guess because of the bass line.... It is mostly daddies music he listened to originally, but I'm transfering him to some I find more appealing... Daddy got him listening to modest mouse and some other stuff like that.... hes big on indie rock, so lo is gonna grow up thinking screetching into a microphone is singing

When I'm putting him down I tend to try more folky rock type things... a lot from Ani's not so soft album.... indigo girls... the jeff buckley version of Hallelujah (this puts him to sleep EVERY time... it hasn't failed me yet!!!) Last night we had a particularly bad night... he had actually developed a new cry... which I'm pretty sure now meant "I hate everyone, I'm hungry but I'm too sleepy to eat. I peed myself, but didn't want you to change my diaper. Being a baby sucks!" so I resarted the cd with hallelujah and burried his head in my neck & sang along way lower than my soprano self is really capable of doing on key.... and he was out.... of course he woke up 20 mins later to eat.. but at least it got him dopwn long enough for him to "gather himself"

I do suggest a low throaty song though... I think it was talked about in either the no cry sleep solution or teh fussy baby book.. I cant remember which.... the vibrations help LO... and if its something you like to sing it helps you get through it a little better too...

Momma to my pants pullin down, potty learnin, "Beeeeeg Boy" who now knows his, phonetically difficult for a toddler, name! Plus 2 dogs, 35 rats, & 5 or so bunnies
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#30 of 43 Old 07-11-2008, 10:51 AM
 
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My little dude used to be terrified by his own farts, and every one was a production for which he'd wake up screaming. He also just couldn't sleep unless he was slightly propped up for the first month, which of course means sidelying nursing didn't work at first either.

I was deeply concerned that I had ruined my life as well as my husband's. And I felt like a horrible mother for two months. It was not PPD, it was adjustment. And the baby had to adjust to life on the outside, so I wasn't the only one.

Gas drops helped a little. Low droning singing helped a little. Putting him down slightly propped up helped a little. Believe it or not, my crying helped a little - he would stop crying while I cried and just watch, all wide eyed and worried. Staggering bedtime helped - I would go to bed at 8, and my husband would take the baby until 11, and I wouldn't ask for help until 2, etc. Not having to get up for diaper changes at night helped a little - he stopped pooping at night, and a disposable diaper holds a night's worth of pee without the little fellow getting a rash. I firmly believe cosleeping helped a little - it would have been so much WORSE if we'd been getting up and going to another room.

But nothing helped a lot until he just got older. Hang in there. You CAN do this - heck, you ARE doing this!!

Mama to EG, Mate to MD, Writer, Editor, International Jewel Thief.
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