Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: somewhere on the yellow brick road
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I am a SAHM to two wonderful kids. A four year old boy, and a six month old girl. My first was a very high-need baby who demanded to be held all the time, didn't sleep, and was just very hard to care for.
I thought baby #2 would be different because she was so very easy to care for and peaceful for her first few weeks. Gradually she seems to be going down the same path her brother did, and some days I wonder if it's worse. I am very AP. We co-sleep, cloth diaper, EC, baby-wear, the works. This baby will not tolerate anyone but me. Not even her father! She screams when anyone else holds her. She screams when I set her down. Sometimes she will give me a few minutes to go to the bathroom or start a load of laundry, but for the most part she needs to be held almost constantly. She still gets up alot at night to nurse, and she won't nap during the day unless I sleep with her. She will nap for about 30 minutes and then wake up crying. Sometimes I am able to get in quickly and get her back to sleep, but usually she wants to get up.
I am exhausted. The emotional and physical exertion needed to care for this child is overwhelming. I can't let her scream on the floor or in a bouncy seat, but I just can't hold her 24 hours a day. I am absolutely wearing out and don't know what to do. I feel guilty that sometimes I just want to be alone.
I am so busy taking care of the baby that there is very little I can give to DS, who has been home with me his whole life. He is very high-need, even more so since his sister came. I feel like his needs aren't being met, DD's need aren't being met, and my needs aren't being met. Of course, there is nothing left to give my husband! Thankfully, DS is starting pre-K next week, so he will have a little more activity in his life soon.
I should add that I am alone for 10 hours a day with both kids, taking care of them by myself. We get out alot and go places, do fun stuff, see friends, but DD is always with me and is will not tolerate anyone else.
How can I get a little sanity in my life? How can I encourage DD to not need to be ON me 24/7? To encourage her to be with other people? I can't leave her for a minute with even her daddy or grandmother without her screaming. I am totally stumped. Did my parenting turn her into this? Everyone told me the second one would be different, but here I am, seemingly going down the same path. She was so easy and delightful, and now she's just so demanding.
I am fried.