Uh... baby doesn't like to cuddle? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-29-2008, 06:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Am I crazy? My babe doesn't seem to like to cuddle! He fidgets like crazy when he's being held, but when I put him in a bouncy chair or swing, he settles right down and often goes to sleep! I've been trying to get him used to a sling/pouch/any carrier, but he really just does not seem to like them! This goes against everything I'm used to with AP & my older son was one of those that needed to be held 24/7...

He's 4 months, and sometimes I just long to cuddle him, but then he gets fussy again. What's going on?
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Old 08-29-2008, 08:39 AM
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My baby didnt like to cuddle me at all unless he was breastfeeding.
He still doesn't and he is 21 months.
He cuddles his daddy and grandmas from time to time... but not me that much unless he is really upset or hungry.
I put it down to personality.
I also couldn't get him happy in a sling until he was probably around 6 or 7 month, then in was in a hip or front carry.
I got in all my cuddles by bfing him... luckily he likes to do that a lot!!
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Old 08-29-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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I was like this as a child/baby and remember still needing physical affection and wishing my mother didn't give up trying. It is still hard for me to settle down if someone is touching me. Like my husband's arm around me at night. I can't have any distractions or it bugs me. I know it's annoying to him, but I can't help it!

Some children seem to get over stimulated. Just keep offering but don't force it. Honestly, neither of my children have been big cuddlers. They don't seem to like being 'held down' in a way. They're too busy! But I make sure to give lots of loving touches and kisses.
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Old 08-29-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziggysmama View Post
My baby didnt like to cuddle me at all unless he was breastfeeding.
He still doesn't and he is 21 months.
He cuddles his daddy and grandmas from time to time... but not me that much unless he is really upset or hungry.
I put it down to personality.
Exactly this. My firstborn is the cuddliest child. He will sit in my lap for hours, even now at age 3. My second son is not at all like this. He will cuddle and snuggle with Daddy & Grandma & Aunt sometimes, but never with me. If he's on my lap, he's nursing. He just isn't a cuddly kid. He wants to be up and doing stuff. He doesn't sit still to nurse either unless he's going to sleep. He wiggles and kicks and squirms. I think it's just personality. I still hug him and give him lots of kisses when he lets me.

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Old 08-29-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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Both of my boys are like that. The only time they like to be held is when they are nursing. I just make a game out of it now that the oldest is 2. I chase him around telling him I'm going to give him kisses and hugs. He runs away screaming and laughing. I tackle him and love on him. He wipes off my kisses and then we start again. He likes it.

It does make it super easy to know when something is wrong. If he climbes up in my lap and hugs me, I know he isn't feeling well.

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Old 08-29-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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It's a bit early for me to tell, but DD is shaping up to be one of these. She loves playing and smiling and snuggling with her daddy and granddad, but I am for nursing or fussing. :/

HOWEVER, when she gets upset or insecure (like when we've come back from a long car ride - she hates the car) she wants mommy cuddles only. It's the only time she will scream at her dad. I guess I'm the security blanket, and he's the fair-weather parent.

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Old 08-29-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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DD1 never snuggled. She likes to sit next to me and read books and she likes to hold hands, but cuddling wasn't on her agenda when she was a baby and she really can only do it for short periods of time now. Then she gets up and runs to do something else.

I find it surprising when my friend's kids sit with us to read and they basically fall into my lap they're leaning on me so hard. DD1 isn't that kind of a toucher, she just sits next to me, not leaning on me with all her weight.
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Old 08-29-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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My second son is like this. Don't worry. It's just a personality type. He loves you to the moon and back. Just not a snuggler. I know it's hard, but he'll be a cool kid nonetheless.

Suz, mommy to 2 chess-playing, lightsaber-wielding boys

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Old 08-30-2008, 12:04 AM
 
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I had one of those. She totally blew my little AP mind. I think some babies are just like that. FWIW, she's seven now, comes into my bed and snuggles me every morning, and wrestles her brothers to cuddle on my lap during story. I think you just have to try to respect it.

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Old 08-30-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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My youngest sister did not like to cuddle. Some kids are just like that. She didn't like to co-sleep either. She got hot really easily.

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Old 08-30-2008, 03:14 AM
 
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My 4 yr old would not cuddle as a baby. He also hated being worn and would scream if I tried. He is now the most cuddly of all my children. I held him almost all the time, and tried to be very respectful of his wishes.

I would still keep an eye on baby. See if the baby makes eye contact, etc...
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Old 08-30-2008, 08:13 AM
 
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My kids were always too busy for cuddles up until they reached toddler hood. Is he a busy boy?
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