5.5 week old crying - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-11-2008, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds cries soooooo much now. It hurts my heart to hear him so hysterical and not know why. My instinct is that he gets too tired and won't let himself sleep. Last night he cried incessantly from 6 to 10. I hold him constantly and nurse on demand - which means nearly constantly. I feel like I must be doing something wrong for him to get so upset. This is really starting to wear me down ... I feel spent. When will this end or at least improve? Advice anyone?

anthropologist mama to sweet 6-year-old boy and two angel babies
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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Just a couple of thoughts. Could it be an upset tummy from something you are eating? My babe doesn't tolerate dairy in my diet and will get seriously fussy when I eat it. Are you using a sling? My dd often will sleep in the sling when she is overtired and won't lay down. You might also try a baby massage with a tiny bit of lavender oil added to some apricot oil or unscented lotion for a relaxing massage and then try to carry in the sling for some sleep. If you are getting spent and you know all other needs are met, you might see if someone can help for the fussy periods. 4 hours of non-stop crying would drive me insane--take care of yourself too mama.
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:48 PM
 
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ahhhh...the witching hour - don't remind me as we are ttc next month!

I would keep doing what you are doing. Tyr to keep the baby vertical when you are not feeding (this helps with any reflux). Also try a wrap or a sling so you can move about - maybe even go for a walk. If babe is fed and dry, can your partner take over for a bit so you can go take a bath or something? The biggest thing I learned was that just when I though I couldn't take anymore - something would change - for the better. Hang in there mama - hugs!

Kelly , mama to 4yo and 1yo ,
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Old 11-11-2008, 05:03 PM
 
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You're not doing anything wrong. This is common; some babies are like this. There are possible reasons, but there's also unexplained crying. It's called colic.

My first was very colicky. It started when she was 3 weeks old. One night she cried for almost 8 hours straight.

If you want to try some things to see if you can make it better, you can try eliminating some foods from your diet that might bother her. Some common ones are spicy foods, veggies like broccoli or cauliflower that can cause gas, and dairy. None of those things helped my dd.

Also, sometimes that kind of crying can be caused by reflux, although my understanding is the baby would be more likely to cry at or after every feeding if it was reflux. I'm not sure - I don't know a whole lot about it and dd's doctor didn't think that was her problem.

Chances are, it's just colic (unexplained baby crying). "Just" is both reassuring and at the same time makes you want to say, "There's no JUST about it!!" To cope with it, dh and I would switch dd back every 10 minutes while she cried. It was very stressful for us and lasted about 2 months. The thing with the switching back and forth is that you agree that while your partner is holding the baby, you get to do something else and try not to focus on or worry about the baby. When the 10 minutes is up, your turn again to try to make the baby feel better, or at least hold and comfort while crying. Our other rule was that if the baby stopped crying while you were holding her, then you kept her until she started crying again.

Lots of motion is one thing my dd liked. I spent a lot of time walking up and down the hall with her in the carrier (she like the Bjorn), or rocking my body, or giving her a little gentle up-and-down jiggle. Dh used to sit on the edge of the bed and bounce up and down and sing.

It was really hard to get through those months. It WILL pass, though. You aren't doing anything wrong. He should be much better by 3 mos old. I have only heard from one parent who said colic for her baby lasted much beyond 3 mos.
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Old 11-11-2008, 10:48 PM
 
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my lo is generally fussy in the evenings- since she was 2 weeks. Around 6 weeks she had 3 nights where she was inconsolable for hours on end. She still has fussy nights, but over the past month nothing was as bad as that stint. one night dh took her for a walk in the carrier at 11pm. Our other go to strategies are bouncing on the exercise ball, a bath with mom or dancing-serious dancing. I've found things that have a beat are best. Dh kept trying soft acoustic stuff without success--my go tos are 80s music or Irish folk songs I was a weepy mess that week... guilty overwhelmed and totally fatigued. Hope something helps!
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:27 AM
 
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My little guy has been fussy in the evenings too- but not as much as what your describing, we've been giving him a bath at around 6:00pm which calms him down before he gets too upset. I'm nursing on demand too and when w don't do this strategy I end up nursing all night until about 10:00 when he's finaly ready to go to sleep.
It could be your diet too, as a previos poster described. I ahd a decaf latte the other day that was my firt and will be my last for a while, poor baby was super fussy for hours after that and didn't know what to do with himself. By the way, he's 6wks old.
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Old 11-12-2008, 02:41 AM
 
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Our saving grace was swaddling baby tightly in a cotton blanket, then I would hold her cradled in my arms while I bounced firmly on the birth ball. She would often get sleepy/calmed down enough that I could lay down with her and nurse to sleep. Alternatively, you can wear the baby in a sling or other carrier and bounce on the ball. I have spent many a supper with baby snuggled in sling while I bounced and tried not to spill my food all over! It's crazy the lengths to which we must go to please our fussy babes, but it does get better. Our fussy baby also liked the sound of the washer and dryer; I put her swing right by them...sometimes I could swaddle her and she would sleep reclined in her swing while the washer and dryer ran a few feet away.

SAHM to Abraham (9) Gillian (5) Adrienne (3) and baby boy coming in October! 

Always missing our Gianna, lost during fullterm labor (8/23/04)
Sticking together through the good and the bad with dh of 10 yrs!

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Old 11-12-2008, 03:18 AM
 
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You're definitely not doing anything wrong! I totally know the feeling of being spent, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to calm a hysterical baby for hours. Yikes. I would guess that a lot of it is exhaustion and not being able to fall asleep.

I would first have the pediatrician see the baby, to rule out anything like reflux. I don't know much about foods that can bother the baby, but you may want to try eliminating those, as a PP suggested.

My two life savers - Putting the baby in the sling and going about my business (cleaning the kitchen, usually. It always put him to sleep.), and swaddling him and bouncing on the exercise ball. Both those techniques could usually calm him down.

I will say that my son is 3 months old now, and the crying spells are much rarer now. I don't know when the transition started, but at some point the crying lessened, he started smiling more, and I started bouncing him on the ball at the first sign of tiredness (not just at night, but during the day as well. I think if they don't get enough sleep during the day, it shows up as screaming at night).

These things combined make for a happier baby and me. I hope that is encouraging. Hang in there! It does get better.
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