I'm sorry you're having a hard day. I understand about being overwhelmed about the idea of being alone with both kids. I was totally petrified of being by myself (especially at night time). Somehow, it all worked out. Now that my big girl is 4 and my other little girl is 15 months, it is getting easier. I think we have spent more countless hours cuddled up together in our big recliner with both of them passed out and not being able to move! :LOL
Hugs to you, and my advice would be to focus on one thing at a time right now. Let yourself grieve for your grandmother and don't think about what you will be doing when the new baby gets here. It will take care of itself when the time comes.
Mama to: Katie, Emily , and Abby
Not perfect, Just amazing!