Third trimester sex questions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know there was another thread about sex earlier, but since it's much later on I thought I'd start fresh and with some new questions.

We're still having sex pretty regularly (3 or 4 times a week), and until recently with not much in the way of modifications of position, etc. But...as I get bigger some positions are becoming more difficult. My most pleasurable position has always been me on top, but lately I've been getting crazy "stitches" in my side if I do this for more than a couple of minutes. Not uterine cramping, but more to my side (like the kind of cramp that you get when running sometimes). It usually goes away after 10 or 15 seconds if I stop or sit up- but it's uncomfortable enough that I almost always have to stop. It's starting to feel like this position isn't worth it- a few minutes of sex, stopping for a cramp to pass, a few minutes more, then stopping again... kind of ridiculous.

We're doing other things, too- missionary postion if he holds his upper body up, a kind of side-lying position, and stading with him behind, but me on top has always been the best way for me to have an orgasm. I'm pretty reluctant to give it up- any suggestions? I've had a look in a few books, and I don't see any positions like woman on top for later pregnancy, unless it's sitting up, which kind of removes some of the clitoral stimulation that I like from this position. Is it time to resign myself to other positions and other forms of stimulation for these last 12 weeks? I've been thinking for a while that the baby would eventually get bigger and I wouldn't be able to lie on top, but I'm still able to lie and sometimes sleep on my stomach, so I don't think I'm squishing the baby too much.

Okay..totally tmi. I've never posted specific questions about my sex life and positions on the internet before.... :

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#2 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 07:08 PM
 
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We have still been getting our freak on sometimes twice a day!!

I have also found that my beloved on-top position is almost impossible now. I think the pain you are experiencing is the round ligament pain, I get that too.

On top now though, I just feel like I can't breathe. I have found that kneeling on the edge of the bed and him umm getting me from behind works. Even if I have to provide my own clitoral stim, it's very effective!

Also sitting on him on the couch works, and I found sitting on him facing out on the recliner also works!!

Best of luck!!
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#3 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 07:17 PM
 
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I guess I'm lucky - on top is still one of the only positions that is comfortable for me (though the thought occurred to me the other day that I hope I'm not squashing DH!). Missionary is totally out of the question, even if he supports himself on his arms; I'm just freaked out that he'll like fall on me and smash me or something! :LOL We've tried various from-behind positions and those are all OK too, and I'm not against using a little battery-operated assistance to make sure we all leave happy.

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#4 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 07:32 PM
 
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We'll, we certainly are not getting our freak on nearly as much as you wild women....

But, we find that h&k position works best. We also sometimes have me slide to the edge of the bed on my back and he stands and I can put my legs up on his shoulders or around his back. But we have a pretty tall bed.

As far as the big O, we usually get me taken care of before the "deed" so that's not an issue. I have rarely been able to acheive O during actual intercourse.

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#5 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 09:42 PM
 
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Me on top has worked for us too. My dh LOVES it when I'm on top because I'm in control that way. Missonary is totally out. We tried me sideways, but I has some cramping afterwards. We are still exploring positions tho. But what fun that is!

My dh's only complant is that he can't breathe when he is pleasuring me. My tummy is getting in the way!! hehehehe! The things he has to put up with . . .

Hope everyone is doing well!!!
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#6 of 14 Old 08-17-2005, 09:45 PM
 
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Hrmph. It's been a few weeks for us now, mainly because if I do orgasm, I get really bad cramps. Does anyone else experience this? This also happened with my first pregnancy and it scares me a little, so I just stopped having sex completely the last time around. I would prefer not to do that this time, so I was just curious if anybody else gets bad cramping afterwards. Yikes, I think I'm blushing reading this thread!
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#7 of 14 Old 08-18-2005, 05:08 AM
 
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Yep. I find that the BH I get after orgasm hurts more than labour, so we're actively trying to have me climax less than usual- it's just too painful. Position-wise pretty much everything works for us one way or another, still, apart from the morning when my sacral joint popped out when my dh was on top and whipped round, taking my hip with him, to see a small boy standing in the doorway asking for cbeebies.:

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#8 of 14 Old 08-18-2005, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for not making me feel like a freak!

Seems like we'll just have to modify things a bit as I get bigger. I've always joked that I'm a bit like a man (or a machine) with my orgasms...if he pushes the right buttons in the right order it's pretty predictable. And now my baby belly is getting in the way of the buttons :LOL

I have to remember about the "battery-operated assistance", too. Thanks for the reminder, *Amy*.

And yes, I get the cramping after orgasm, too. Not uncomfortable here, just very tight. And it usually goes away after a couple of minutes, if not sooner.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#9 of 14 Old 08-18-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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I just actually have a lot of pain inside, like on my labia - I guess because everything is kind of swollen. So I don't really enjoy it that much right now. Plus, we always seem to be asleep! But I'm trying to take care of DH any way I can. I do get some cramping afterwards but try not to worry about it. I have been having lots of juicy dreams, though, so I'm hoping we find some time and a way that doesn't hurt because otherwise I might lose my mind!
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#10 of 14 Old 08-18-2005, 03:28 PM
 
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Yeah I feel like things have changed for me since the last sex thread. We're just not having nearly enough sex & it's frustrating.

For me it's 3 different issues.
One, sometimes I am just so exhausted that I don't want to move a muscle except to close my eyelids.

Two, I'm having so many freaking aches & pains. Between heartburn (Ug, I have no desire to do *anything* except try not to tear my own esophagus out) & excruciating tailbone pain (I can't even roll over without wincing in pain, & can't lie flat on my back & would usually just prefer to curl up with my heating pad or sit on the birth ball), along with BH cx, bloody noses & freaking bloatiness I've had since conception, there is just not a lot of room left for sex. And I too have very strong BH cx after sex, and esp after O. I always have to roll to my left side & relax through it as if I were in labor. Sometimes they last several minutes. Hmph, sexy.

And thirdly, I often times (um, a lot of the time) am just not feeling sexy. Sigh. I wonder if I'm odd for feeling this way, but if I don't feel like I look cute or sexy I have a hard time FEELING cute or sexy. Do you guys feel that way? Or are you able to just let your lust guide you? Besidesthe fact I'm 20+ pounds larger & have the giant belly, my vulva is SO freaking engorged AND hairy (since I can't reach/see it to shave) that it just doesn't feel like *mine*, I have the bloaty gassiness far more often than I would like to (um, NEVER would be nice), I'm WAY uncoordinated, can't get in half the positions I used to & certainly can't whip around all quick & vixen-like in bed, more like I have to move like a slug so as to not disturb my tailbone or fall over.

Whew, venting about this feels really good. I haven't really vented about all of this to anyone.

My DP is wonderful, he doesn't make me feel any less beautiful than he normally does, & never pressures me, these are all my own issues. And to top it all off, my DP (whom I find incredibly gorgeous every second of the day) would probably be very happy to have sex like twice every day, but at the very least I know he would like to at least every OTHER day!! My poor neglected boyfriend who I love like crazy.

So yeah. I LOVElovelove that I am growing our baby. It fills me with unbelievable love & joy & I could lay there cuddled with DP & touch our baby parts poking out of me & fantasize about our new family member for endless hours... but when it comes to sex I'm all frustrated & am very anxious to get my body, the NON-fetus incubating one, back. But then again I'm not! This is such a wonderful amazing time, I want to savor every moment! HAHA! I'm a bit torn... :LOL

Thank you for sharing your stories, and for giving me a place to vent!!!

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#11 of 14 Old 08-18-2005, 10:32 PM
 
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Ooh, girl talk, can I join?
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#12 of 14 Old 08-19-2005, 03:40 AM
 
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So far, so good, but although DH is not fat he carries all his weight in his tummy, to the point where mine has just started surpassing his! (To be fair, I must include that I apparently have wide and deep enough of a pelvis that it's not sticking out as much yet as I'd feared it might, and some people STILL don't realize at almost 28 weeks that I'm pregnant!) I usually like him on top best but having both my tummy and my lungs squashed is not too pleasant! Also I have to second zjande on the heartburn--that is very limiting. But sort of on the edge of the bed with him standing is still pretty good, as long as I haven't eaten in a few hours!! It is a little harder to just move around or turn over in general, and we almost got stuck in a weird position the other week because we were "en route" to a position in which to do the deed and my foot got stuck under him somehow and neither of us could move! Not feeling quite as graceful as I was . . . at least we have a sense of humor about it, and we're both happy enough to be having a baby that we don't mind the silly parts really very much!

I also agree with everyone on the battery-operated assistance--we have a little vibrating thing that fits on him, which makes the whole thing a lot easier and fun, especially now that a hand will not fit down there between us! I bought a bassinette secondhand that has a little vibrating thing, and although I didn't plan to install a battery in it and actually use that to soothe the baby, we were joking after the last time we had sex that the baby will probably end up liking it because it will REALLY replicate the in-utero experience that it is having, but with less noise!! :
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#13 of 14 Old 08-20-2005, 07:09 PM
 
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Oh, Kavita, your post had me :LOL !
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#14 of 14 Old 08-29-2005, 05:57 PM
 
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Ok, I have an issue. Aside from finally getting to the point where I am running out of positions (I don't think this happened last time so am pretty bummed about it happening so early this time!), I have major contractions for most of the day after doing the deed. I know this is pretty normal, given the breast stimulation and prostaglandins and all, but with my pre-term labor fears it is really freaking me out. I *really* don't want to kick-start anything!!

With ds, after sex at 36 wks I had contractions all day, then the same exact thing happened a week later at 37 weeks and I had him a few hours later- so clearly it is a good induction method for me- but at 28 weeks it makes me feel really worried about getting through the next 9 weeks or so!
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