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#1 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi I am new here. I am due Nov 03 and wanted to say hi! I am expecting a boy (Julian David) My first. I would love to do a hb but my husband freaks out at the thought. So, I am planning to go natural and he is freaking out about that to. I will try to labor as much as I can at home. But what do you guys consider too long? I know it all varies from women to women but should I be on the look out for clues that the baby will come in couple of minutes or something like that? I am about 15 min away from the hospital. I am enjoying reading all these post. I was referred her by Laurie from American baby- Thanks Laurie
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#2 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 07:23 PM
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Welcome to our due date club! As for clues that the baby is coming soon...I'd say it's probably time to go to the hospital if you're pushing :LOL

Seriously, though, 15 min is really close. Especially since your husband is freaking out about natural birth, I'd really recommend hiring a doula for labour support. She can help to support you and your husband, will be able to meet you and get to know you ahead of time (and hopefully help to convince him that natural childbirth is a great idea), and she'll also be able to help you make the decision about when to transfer to the hospital. An experienced doula who knows you will be able to help you to "read" the emotional signposts of your labour to get an idea of how things are progressing and when to make your way in to hosptial. And she can also help you to advocate for yourself and your desires for natural birth in hospital.

Wishing you the best, and looking forward to getting to know you in the months to come!

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#3 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you so much MelW! I have to see if my ins cover a doula - great idea! My husband is so funny I have already threaten to kick him out of the delivery room. My mom has had two natural child births, so I will be enlisting her help. Thanks for the welcome!
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#4 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 07:46 PM
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Hello, and welcome

I second the rec. for a doula- it sounds like it would be much needed/appreciated in your case! Even if insurance doesn't cover it, having that labor support and advocate there for you will be priceless!

I would also recommend taking a natural childbirth class with your husband- NOT one given by a hospital, but something like Birthworks, or hypnobirthing, or (help me out ladies!) that really shows you how to work with your body and trust your instincts and gives your spouse tools and knowledge in how to support and help you through the process instead of being afraid.

Definitely stay home as long as possible Best way to avoid all the unnecessary interventions they are going to want to do at the hosp.! Just get there too late for them to do any of it!
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#5 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 07:51 PM
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Welcome! I hope you enjoy the discussions here.

There have been a couple threads on here regarding homebirth and the difficulty involved in convincing (other) people of its safety - you might want to browse through to find links to articles, arguments, philosophizing, etc.

My best advice is, do your research! There are a ton of studies and informed, medical opinion out on the web that clearly indicate that with a normal pregnancy/birth with no complications, natural chilbirth is safer for baby, safer for mom, and more fulfilling and satisfying. I have never understood why people keep referring to a medicalized hospital birth as "safe" - epidurals and other medical forms of pain relief do have side effects, and hospitals are full of pathogenic bacteria from all the sick people. But even above and beyond that, it's your birth and what is most important is that you do it in the way you are most comfortable. The last thing you want is to regret your birth experience and feel like you could have done more to get the birth you want.

Also, find a good prenatal class that emphasizes natural birth and its benefits and make your DH go! Sometimes it helps to hear things from someone else.

Hope this helps and welcome to the group!

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#6 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 10:03 PM
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Sounds like you have good ideas already. I really believe in using a doula. I had one for each of my births and am hiring one for this birth. It might take some talking to your dh about it, my dh wasn't hip the first time. But after we had our first, he said he was SO glad we had Nora. There no question about the second and now third birth.

Hugs to you!! and welcome!!!
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#7 of 10 Old 08-30-2005, 10:11 PM
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I just wanted to welcome you to MDC. I completely agree with what everyone has said so far. Good Luck!
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#8 of 10 Old 08-31-2005, 10:59 AM
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As for birth classes, we just started "Bradley Method" -- I wasn't planning on doing any because our schedule is so packed, I am doing the hypnobabies home study, I have done tons of reading, and we are hiring a doula. BUT, my midwife absolutely insisted that we do one.

Sine you are due before me, it might be a little tough to get into one of the Bradley classes since they are 12 weeks but the one we joined let us join 3 weeks late. I have been to 2 classes and so far it seems fine. Totally into natural birth without being "extreme" and, for your husband, the good thing could be that there will be other couples there who are into natural birth, too, who will seem totally "normal" responisble people, so it could put him at ease. So far, I am glad we are doing it.
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#9 of 10 Old 08-31-2005, 11:32 AM
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I also recommend a doula, the more experienced the better. Normally, I tell women to find a doula in training to help with costs, but I think knowing the signs of impending birth definitely comes with experience! Ha, I thought a client (my 4th, I think) was in transition and we got to the hospital and she was 2cm. :

This is your first time? It will be that much more important to labor at home as long as you can. First labors can be long and unpredictable and that is where the interventions can really hurt you - pitocin to get ctx more "regular" results in more pain, which results in a epidural which contributes to the baby getting into a bad position, which results in a prolonged pushing stage, more pitocin, fetal distress and a Cesarean. Then you are set up for fighting to ever have a vaginal birth after that one surgical birth. It is a huge issue for first time moms in this country!

Not trying to scare you, just to make you aware of how important a good class (see if you can take an accelerated Bradley class) and good support can be. The hospital scare tactics can be much more powerful than mine. :LOL

Good luck!

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#10 of 10 Old 08-31-2005, 12:37 PM
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Welcome! The others have given you some wonderful advice. I highly recommend a doula, as well. Not only will she support you, she will support your DH and help him understand why a natural birth is so important to you.
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