Complain-O-Matic 2005! - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Complain-O-Matic: What's yer problem, matey?
Too big. According to strangers. 11 73.33%
Too small. According to strangers. 9 60.00%
Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'. 14 93.33%
Dude, I just peed myself. Or something. 24 100.00%
Hungry? I'll just have two of whatever you're having. 18 100.00%
Insomniacs unite and party at night. 26 100.00%
A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit. 22 100.00%
Faulty back/sides/hips/entire body, and no receipt. 37 100.00%
Inconsequential strangers are suddenly annoying. I feel unpleasant urges. 16 100.00%
Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch. 21 100.00%
Crying jags in Safeway checkouts seem to upset clerks. 9 60.00%
Yeti Yoni. 18 100.00%
Flu/Cold/illnesses are having a party in my body. 10 66.67%
My doula/midwife/OB just quit due to "creative differences." 2 13.33%
HELP! GD is not working with my fetus!(wrong forum) 1 6.67%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 02:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Please, vote early and often! Is there anything I've forgotten?
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#2 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 02:32 AM
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This is too funny :LOL

I voted:
Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'.
Insomniacs unite and party at night.
A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit.
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#3 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 03:07 AM
 
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HILARIOUS. OMG. I love it. My favorite is "Dude, I just peed myself. Or something." Classic. Beautiful. I am very proud to have laid "Yeti Yoni" down in history.

To my own complaint list, I would add
"scratch,scratch,scratch The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."

North Idaho rural living treehugger.gif mama to: 22 yo DD, 15 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. stillheart.gif And someone new coming this Christmas! stillheart.gif

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#4 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 03:08 AM
 
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oh thats good :LOL thank you its good to make light of our many complaints.. i just think of all of the places around the world where woman have little to eat, no health care and give birth somewhere in a field and just keep on working.i try to remember that ive got it easy. we all have... even if my hips and pubic bone feel like they are going to break when i move and my heart is burnin and i piss myself when i cough or sneeze and my yoni is yetti and wetti we still are friggin lucky. and soon we will have sweeet little babies in our arms!!!!!!!

 

 

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#5 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 03:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zjande
To my own complaint list, I would add
"scratch,scratch,scratch The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."
Ya, those!
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#6 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 04:30 AM
 
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I you for making me smile... it's quite a feat to be accomplished these days!!!
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#7 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 06:23 AM
 
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What an awesome thread!

I'm in on:

Brax Hicks Nothin' Doin
Faulty body! (hello, can I hold ANYTHING without dropping it?) Why do I feel super menstral crampy every time I have to poop?

How about many, many acquaintences saying "wow - you've dropped"

On top of this, I have a really really fun YEAST infection! Whoppeee!!!!
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#8 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 07:07 AM
 
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Insomniacs unite! (as I do a 3 am post- thank you universe for MDC, because 3 am television is terrible!)

:LOL :LOL

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#9 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 08:17 AM
 
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I just checked off half the things!
Can't tell if I have yeti yoni or not considering tha I havent' been able to get a look at it in weeks!!!
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#10 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:05 AM
 
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Oh, that's good.

I voted

Braxton Hicks
Insomnia
CRYING JAGS - my husband thinks I've gone insane!
Baby trying to escape through belly button. This has been going on since about 20 weeks. Ouch!

Thanks for the laugh!
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#11 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:17 AM
 
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Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch.-- I didn't know anyone else had this problem!!! Seriously, it feels as if he is tryng to kick his way out!!
(visiting from Jan. board)
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#12 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:26 AM
 
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Too funny!

I second the Dropsies. My gosh, it is so darn frustrating how many things I drop in a day. I sure hope it goes away before I have an innocent newborn in my clumsy paws.

Gas anyone? :

Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#13 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:29 AM
 
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This is very funny!! I voted yeti yoni because I can't get waxed until my lochia stops. :

I *did* have most of the rest of it.

Can we add "screaming painful boobs" and "crime scene lochia" to the complaint list???? :LOL
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#14 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:31 AM
 
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heehee!

I finally took a Pepcid AC before dinner last night (per midwife's recommendation) and it made SUCH a world of difference! I felt better the whole evening and "only" woke up from hip pain, pelvic pain and leg cramps.
:LOL
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#15 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 10:50 AM
 
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It's hard to choose only one!

But, my biggest pregnancy challenge has been that people are dropping from the birth like flies...first, my OB said I was a liability and dropped me from service. Second, my MW apprentice left the practice and is now studying in South America (good for her though!). Third, my best friend is all of a sudden going out of town the whole week I am due after committing to be the MC for all things related to running the house and my dog's support person.

I have felt great physically though!!! I just have a bunch of people who don't seem to want to be around the birth.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#16 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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I think I said yes to more then not.... HMMMM, 13 days & counting ( on going over my due date :LOL )

I laughed out loud - which was Much needed!!!!!

Thanks Mama!!!! Laura
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#17 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 01:19 PM
 
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I absolutely laughed out loud and I checked nearly every box. :LOL

I don't get the last one though...what's GD?

Christa
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#18 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 01:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crsta33
I don't get the last one though...what's GD?
"Gentle Discipline". I checked that one. Blobby is a bad, bad girl at 4 am.

And to be honest, the only reason I'm using "gentle discipline" techniques is cause if I spank her, it really does "hurt me more than it hurts her"!!!!!

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#19 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 01:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BensMom
Too funny!

Gas anyone? :

Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?
Oooohhhhh yeah...on both accounts!

This poll is GREAT! Thanks for making me laugh out loud about all of my whiny complaints! Personally afflicted to the Nth degree with "Dude, I just peed myself", "Yeti Yoni" and "Baby trying to escape through secret hatch in belly button". I only started experiencing that last one in the last 72 hours...all I can say is OUCH!!!!!
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#20 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, and I did mean this "GD not working with fetus" in a certain tongue-in-cheek way -

"I understand that you feel like kicking me from within right now and playing cat's cradle with my intestines, little baby boy, but mama would like to sleep so that she can go to work tomorrow, and it is 3 AM. Can I use a distraction tool, perhaps? Maybe a nice glass of warm milk or glass of bordeaux? Is this developmentally appropriate? "

It. just. doesn't. work. Argh!

(Note: I do not actually drink bordeaux as a sleep aid. While pregnant.)

And, I do GD as well, at least by my definition of GD.
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#21 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 02:28 PM
 
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OMG. I love this! But Dude, you'll make me pee myself laughing!

I checked off all but a few. And still there are more to add!:

-excuse me for flinching during this business meeting, but I seem to have a small hand in my cervix.

-I'm trying to be a yummy mummy, but in truth look like a fat old man who wears his pants too high.

-My yeti yoni is now in another postal code. I need a personal assistant to wipe myself.

Naughty you, for contributing to my whiney habits!
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#22 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellyfishy
Naughty you, for contributing to my whiney habits!
Hahaha, your additions are soo funny!
I LOVE laughing at my irritating pregnancy symptoms, it's what helps me get through them with a smile. I'm a crass & sarcastic girl naturally, so dealing with my aches & pains by complaining about them in obnoxiously funny ways turns everything around & I can laugh at myself. My DP & I spend many a moments every day laughing at the crazy things my body is doing, & I love it. It's the days that I CAN'T laugh at my discomforts that suck. Those are the days I feel impatient & depressed.

(ps. I'm 35 weeks today, woooooo-hooooo!)

North Idaho rural living treehugger.gif mama to: 22 yo DD, 15 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. stillheart.gif And someone new coming this Christmas! stillheart.gif

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#23 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 03:48 PM
 
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I love you guys - this is so funny! Just what we needed! :LOL

Quote:
My gosh, it is so darn frustrating how many things I drop in a day.
Me too. I actually bought my girlfriend a bottle of wine today as a thank-you for hosting my shower, and I dropped it as I was trying to get my keys arranged to open my door. I stood there for a good 15-20 seconds, looking at the green glass all over the sidewalk and thinking, "Do I want to cry about this?"

Gunter, we should probably hop to the other thread, but I didn't know your midwife situation was deteriorating so! Did you ever talk to your friend about her decision?

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#24 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 06:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

(Note: I do not actually drink bordeaux as a sleep aid. While pregnant.)
DAMN! I was going to take a "well, if FSM can do it, I can" approach to that. I actually have a bottle of bordeaux in my pantry. It is taunting me with the thought that it MIGHT put Blobby in a more mellow overnight mood. Unfortunately I can't stomach more than a few sips of wine. Stupid sensible biology. :

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#25 of 26 Old 10-19-2005, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellyfishy

-excuse me for flinching during this business meeting, but I seem to have a small hand in my cervix.
HA! It's funny cause it's TRUE!!!! I've actually done that! And my boss asked me what was wrong! (I just said I was kicked really hard, I didn't bring up the cervix bit.)

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#26 of 26 Old 10-27-2005, 06:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy*
Gunter, we should probably hop to the other thread, but I didn't know your midwife situation was deteriorating so! Did you ever talk to your friend about her decision?
Thanks for asking. I did post some in out weekly thread. THings with the MW are totally going to be okay now. I feel so okay with using our MW. The MW apprentice is out of the country anyway so she would not have been around for my last few pre-natals anyway. We've bonded more with the MW now.

About my friend...I have not talked to her about it. She did mention that she feels she has let me down via an e-mail. But I think she means that b/c she didn't throw my a traditional baby shower or whatever. I mentioned it owuld be nice to have people bring us food so she's trying to organize that now. I basically sent her a calender of meals for the first thirty days that we would like. She's bringing it to our halloween party tomorrow to get people to sing up. I am over her attending the birth; it hurts too much to really confront her about it at this point. I don't even know where to begin.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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