Well, I think if you dont have a built in support system you have to create your own. I have been on my own since i was 12, my single mom was a drug addict and gave me up to the foster care system. I do have some loving family but they live in Germany! So not close at all.
I moved to GA when I was 20 and have developed my own "family". I live by the motto that friends are the family you choose. Once I had DS and I realized that I wanted to be around more crunchy people (my college friends are all pretty mainstream) I sought out other moms here in the Finding Your Tribe area and at places like LLL. Now I feel like I have a nice support system but its still not anyone who will come clean my house and cook me dinner for a week (since everyone has their own kids and family, of course).
My ILs are pretty useless. MIL has money issues and we cannot depend on her for anything. In fact, I am afraid to even ask her to come stay with us for a couple days to help with DS after Dh goes back to work, because I am sure she will have her hand out looking for money that we dont have. SIL acts helpful but really isnt. BIL is a single guy in his 40's. I dont expect much from him other than the occassional poker buddy.
So I would recommend trying to find a support group. Moms Club, LLL, Mothers & More (more specifically geared towards working moms), Finding Your Tribe here at MDC...It might take awhile, but it will happen.
As far as your DH, I dunno. I mean, I cant even imagine DH not helping out. I always figured it was because up until recently, we both always worked so we had to both pitch in together just to survive. But you work too, so I dont know where your DH gets off sitting on his butt and not cleaning. I would sit down with him and lay it out...ask him what ongoing chores he is willing to do. And then expect him to do it. Or tell him you are going to pay someone else to do it. Sometimes money talks with these guys. Good luck to you!