My DH is on his way, because I really don't want to be alone right now. I called him about an hour ago, when the nurse came in and scared me a bit.... I guess my urine came back higher than 5 because the nurse immediately came in and wouldn't let me eat or drink anything until she spoke with the doctor.
That's when my crab button started. I got really snappy and said that before any decisions were made (I just had the feeling that plans would be made without me. May not have been that way, but I just wanted to be sure) but I wanted to have an understanding of what was going on.
Well, the doc just left and I'm sitting here in tears. I felt (and feel) like such a big baby. Nothing like sitting here crying in front of your doctor. Take it from me, don't make the day of delivery the day you go over your birth plan. I feel not only overwhelmed because of the suddeness (suddeness to me at least ) of the c-section and impending birth of my kids, but at the whole process.
Just found out that my babies will be for sure sent to Level 2 NICU - no matter what. Then, I got knocked for trying to suggest that I would be able to successfully breastfeed my babies exclusively - esp while they are in NICU. My doctor asked me if I know of anyone that successfully breastfed twins from the start. My doc is one of those that is very good at what she does, but she can be rather abrupt. She's very too the point and German. My DH loves that about her, I have found it to be intimidating
I'm barely going to get to touch my babies before they are taken away from me for a minimum of 12 hours. That's how long its going to be before I can go be with them. I can't even imagine that.
This whole process is so much harder and emotional than I thought it was going to be. I so envisioned something completely different. I know I should be so thrilled the babies are coming, and I am, but I'm really scared.
The NICU docs are coming later today to talk to me about the whole process, the anesthesiologist is coming later too.
Ok well, my Dh just got here and the docs, anesthesia people, and all are already starting to come in, so let me go. I may check one more time if I get a chance.
I guess I'm sitting here looking for success stories for preemies and twins and breastfeeding. I can't believe I'm hitting so much resistance. I had a strong resolve, but with all the resistance, my confidence is starting to shake.
35 wks 5 days
I know it's easier said than done but TRY not to let them intimidate you!!! You know what is best for your babies.
Sending lots of healthy delivery vibes your way!!!
if you don't have a pump rent a hostpital one. start taking fenugreek and blessed thistle also. that helped me when my son was in the NICU. i also used dom, but you should research and decide something like that for yourself.
i am in pearland, pretty close near you. i will be thinking of you
I hope your surgery goes well, and your babies are healthy.
Have you thought about hiring a lactation consultant not affiliated with the hospital? Someone who will work just for you, and not serve the interests of the hospital?
Not perfect, Just amazing!
Thinking of you today!
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....
Country living Mama of 4 home-birthed children, 3 chickens and 2 puppies.
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Sending warm and fuzzy mama vibes...
We did an exercise in our home birth class where we had to write down all of the things we wanted from our birth and didn't want from our birth on the opposite sides of cards, then we turned each one over and practice the idea of not getting what we hoped or planned. It was very helpful to me, not to let go of wanting them, but to realize what was really important to me.
I imagine you are greiving many of the things you wanted but aren't getting from this birth, which is going to make everything more emotional as you go. Keep advocating for yourself, but know really that you've done what you can and you'll still be a great mama to these babes.
Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly and your babies are out of the NICU as soon as possible.
Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).
♥ Handmade dress shop owner and mama of five - our littlest just born in December! ♥
All of that, however, is completely aside the point- you're going to meet your babies soon I'm so excited...
I guess your doctor doesn't have much experience with breastfeeding! It's pretty common to bf twins! My friend had twins 6 wks early and they are 9 mos. now and still nursing well! I have another friend with 3 yr old twins who nursed for a year, and the one twin continued to nurse for another year. I'm sure on the twins forum there are tons of moms who can give you advice and share their stories!
I second the suggestion of having someone (maybe your dh or a friend who can help out, since you'll be kinda busy) contact LLL, or have an outside lactation consultant come in right away to help get you started. And of using the hospital grade pump, and doing all the herbal/diet tricks to increase your milk supply.
I'm so glad you were able to post and let us know what's happening today!! Can't wait to hear of your precious babies' joyful arrival!
My twins were born at term, but I have been through the ICU experience with them (in infanthood), and I couldn't not comment...
When things get really scary and tough in the hospital, just think ahead to the reward. A few weeks from now, life will be completely different, and so much better. Your babies will be home with you, safe, and cuddled around you in bed or on the couch. Happy moments galore are waiting to be had.... just think of the ICU experience as a pause button in all that happiness.
Re: nursing....I exclusively nursed my twins for almost a year. They had troubles eating solid foods, so my boobs did all the work. It can be done, and it's not unusual!! There's no reason to think that after a few days after birth, with pumping assistance most likely, that you'll be producing a fabulous supply of milk. Insist on getting pumping help, and insist that the colostrum you produce, then the milk you produce, is fed to your babies. Don't beat yourself up if at the beginning they need a little extra fluids or help--being born at 36ish weeks sometimes demands a little adapting to preemie needs. As they get older, though, and as long as you're disciplined about encouraging your milk production, you have every right to demand that they be exclusively breast fed.
Best of luck, mama. Remember--this tough part will be over soon. Take deep breaths and remember to look ahead.
All I can say is, get pissed while also getting some breastfeeding-friendly people on your team. NICUs suck BAD usually, but you can make it work. At the same time, do whatever they tell you (i.e. formula feed/pump/whatever for a few days) just to get out of the hospital and with an LLL leader or BF counselor. I pumped and FF for a week through bottles and gavage just to get out of the hospital NICU; and then when we got home, the real work started. And mine breastfed until age 3! I didn't have twins - but I am sure most moms of twins are moms of preemies - so there is probably lots of support out there.
I send my electronic hugs - and I would strongly suggest getting traumatic birth counseling after this is all over. I feel trauma just READING your story.
I agree with the above - getting pumping help. There are hospital-grade nursing pumps you can rent that were really helpful to me during the preemie transition time. Warning: those pumps are beasts! You will feel very bovine.
Dont let him discourage you. Good luck on your deliveries of your sweet babies!!
Good luck, good luck, good luck!!
"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters
Pretty soon this will all be a blurry memory!
A very close friend of mine breastfed her twins for more than a year. One baby got "nipple confused" in the hospital, but a very good LC got her back on the breast once they were home.
That's no time to be argueing with doctors and nurses about what you want for your babies.
I hope that you don't have to wait 12 hours to see them. Maybe demanding they be fed your milk you will get to help with feedings and see them quicker.
About pumping....I'd ask if they have a hospital grade pump available for you to use. They are much better than trying to express milk or using an avent.
Good Luck mama...I've been thinking of you all day. Take care and rest if you can.
I talked to her last night after her surgery, and she sounded great! Both of her babies were around 6lbs. Andrew was over and Carrie (gosh I hope I have the spelling right) was a little under. Carrie was expected to be out of the NICU by about 2am last night, and Andrew sometime this morning. Andrew's lungs were a little squishy so they had him on some oxygen, but he should be just fine. She was getting a breastpump to start bringing in her milk and have just in case they didn't want to latch. It sounded like everything was going really well, despite her stupid OB.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers everyone!
Hooray, 2 more babies!!!!!!!! : :
Glad to hear the babies are OK, and I'm still sending healthy healing vibes to Christy!