The **update** on Brynn Amelia - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 36 Old 12-10-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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Congratulations!! I totally understand not wanting to share your birthstory right now, it took me a long time to come to terms with my c/s experience, and it is still hard sometimes, 19 months later. Post it when you are ready, I just recently posted mine and it was really theraputic. Your baby is beautiful, glad you are enjoying being a mom!!
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#32 of 36 Old 12-10-2005, 03:47 PM
 
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Hi - I just wanted to say I read your update as well - it is really hard to talk about these things right away. I had a difficult first experience with my first child...going to birth circles and talking with friends a while after the fact is what helped me to process....it took five years for me to feel confident enough to have another baby though, and to see the positives in the experience without getting pi--ed off.

Some crappy experiences are sort of like emotional scars - it's always there, you can't ignore it, but it gets easier to look at - and talk about - over time. But while it's still healing, you have to not mess with it...
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#33 of 36 Old 12-10-2005, 10:40 PM
 
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Amy, how can you look so beautiful after surgery!!!! And my favorite picture is the sleepybaby one! How pretty is your girl! My birth didn't go as planned either, and it's so hard integrating that experience with the lovliness of having your baby in front of you...

From one mommy who entered motherhood in an unexpected way to another, congratulations, and a big big hug!
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#34 of 36 Old 12-11-2005, 03:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeTheEarth
it's so hard integrating that experience with the lovliness of having your baby in front of you...

Exactly!! It's so strange.

The crazy thing was, during the experience itself, I was telling DH and my doula "this isn't going to be something that scars me for life," but I think I may have been underestimating the impact. I just think it's amazing how your psyche can deal so well with crises in-the-moment and then allow you deal with it very slowly as you are in a place to do so. Yesterday morning was the first time I cried about it and it was almost too scary to let those feelings open up. My doula has been out of town since Wednesday - she didn't even get to see Brynn born because she wasn't allowed int he OR - and so she and I haven't even talked about it. I'm seeing her this Wednesday and I think it will be healing for me to be able to discuss it with her.

Thank you all for your love and hugs and understanding. I was thinking a lot about you Jenn, because I know there were only a small handful of us who ended up with a c-section. It's just crazy what it can do to your mind, even though like BTE said, Brynn is here and happy and healthy! Out of something so painful comes something so amazing and beautiful.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#35 of 36 Old 12-11-2005, 05:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy*
Exactly!! It's so strange.

The crazy thing was, during the experience itself, I was telling DH and my doula "this isn't going to be something that scars me for life," but I think I may have been underestimating the impact. I just think it's amazing how your psyche can deal so well with crises in-the-moment and then allow you deal with it very slowly as you are in a place to do so. Yesterday morning was the first time I cried about it and it was almost too scary to let those feelings open up. My doula has been out of town since Wednesday - she didn't even get to see Brynn born because she wasn't allowed int he OR - and so she and I haven't even talked about it. I'm seeing her this Wednesday and I think it will be healing for me to be able to discuss it with her.

Thank you all for your love and hugs and understanding. I was thinking a lot about you Jenn, because I know there were only a small handful of us who ended up with a c-section. It's just crazy what it can do to your mind, even though like BTE said, Brynn is here and happy and healthy! Out of something so painful comes something so amazing and beautiful.

A hundred years ago, women AND babies died in childbirth, and it's wasn't a rarity. Be glad times have changed and we have the technology to make things safer. While natural and medical intervention free is theideal, obviously there were REAL medical reasons for your birth to go down a different path, and that's OK. It's NOTHING to be ashamed of or to feel guilty over.

It's not the birth that is important, afterall, it's the fact that you have created a new life - a little person - who needs and depends on you to make wise choices - and the bottom line is what is important is that you brought her into this world safe and sound, don't loose sight of that.

Screw other people and their negative opinions... and don't you dare feel a shred of guilt. Sometimes, things do not go as we planned, and it's wonderful that you and your baby are safe and healthy, and that is ALL THAT MATTERS.

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#36 of 36 Old 12-11-2005, 11:48 AM
 
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Ok, Mrs Moe took the words out of mouth. You were right when you said "Don't let this scar me." But I do understand how unsettling it is. A few years ago I know ivillage/parentsplace had a Negative Birth Experience board, maybe you could check something like that out. It definitely is a Murphy's Law kinda thing when you plan and envision your birth to go a certain way but sometimes things happen that we are not in control of and luckily now we do have the medical intervention necessary to save lives when it is needed. I remember with my first birth, even though I had this very specific birthplan to keep my hospital birth as low-key as possible, the one thing I said over and over is "...this is my ideal but first and foremost is the health and safety of my baby." Enjoy your babymoon and try to put the rest of it in the back of your brain. She's here, you're healthy, she's healthy, and this newborn days go by in a BLINK.

HUGS
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