Would you/ will you do it all again? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now that we've all had our babies (!!!), how do you feel about this whole babymaking business? Can you imagine yourself wanting to do it again?

It's funny, the days *both* of my 1st two kids were born, I told my mom that I was *never* going to do that again, that labor is too insanely, inhumanly painful for any sane person to choose to do. I even wrote all about it in my own journal after my 2nd baby, just to remind myself how painful & uncomfortable & not fun it is to be hugely pregnant & give birth, so I wouldn't do it again someday. But come 16mos. later, after ceasing breastfeeding, BOTH times I began having the baby lust again.

This time, this birth, this pregnancy, this relationship....... everything was so different! The day Xeowyn was born, I shocked myself when I could honestly tell DP that I can imagine doing this again. We do in fact hope to have one more kidlet someday. That's so weird for me to admit! That I want to do this again! Even only 11 days postpartum!! This is sooo different than 11 days PP with my other kids. It's so strange how we change over time...

So how about you guys? Can you already imagine doing this again? Or are you wary or unsure? Or perhaps terrified of it ever happening again? And do you know if you WILL most likely do it again? Is it scary or fun to think about? Especially you guys that just had your 1st babies, how do you feel so far about this whole reproduction business?

Shall I run into some of you in a future DDC??

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#2 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 05:56 AM
 
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This is my first babe.

I loved being pregnant. I had a wonderful, sickness free pregnancy. I liked being big for once in my life and even relished getting stretch marks. Mentally, I felt wonderful. I really enjoyed preparing for a natural homebirth. I loved talking to people about my plans and my pregnancy.

Giving birth naturally at home was AMAZING!!! I really enjoyed labor and delivery. I am smiling and holding up 10 fingers at 10cm dilated in a picture I asked DH to take. DH was amazingly supportive. I respect the power of my body more now. I am way closer to my MIL who was there for and has been there after Ezra's birth in amazing ways. I loved laboring at home!!! I love sharing my homebirth story.

Okay, then the hard part starts! She was almost three weeks early; weighed only 5 pounds then 4 lbs 8 onz the next day. Way, way scary and it was hard to trust that colostrum was enough. Breastfeeding at first was really challenging with latch, how to hold her up to eat, etc...even though I had read a ton and been to LLL mtgs and their conference! DH would not let me quit and tried to reduce the barriers from rubbing my shoulders to doing every diaper change. Nursing is awesome no doubt but gets in the way of my selfishness. I have never felt so needed or so responsible.

Philosophically, I struggled with her very existence. Like, I understand the biology bit, but where did she REALLY come from? I lost it one night and was questioning reality with sobbing tears that woke DH. He talked me through it after grabbing the Rescue Remedy. I was so amazed that she was real that night and many other times. I am overwhlemed with love and joy some nights as i talk her to sleep. I am up with her at 3am now b/c her nose is a little runny. I am hand expressing into a bowl then using a syringe to drop some into her tiny nose. I just didn't imagine this as wonderful and challenging as it is. The deep connection that I feel to her is almost scary. I have not been close to my own mom so this mother-daughter relationship is so intense for me.

We used CD from the beginning but none of them came close to fitting her so we held inserts up to her bony bottom at first. Co-sleeping was an adjustment in a huge way, too. We got a new mattress soon after she was born and I hate it so end up sleeping in the guest bedroom or on the sofa with her.

I lost a bunch of blood with clots all at once about 2 weeks after she was born. I was in the shower w/o my contacts in so I yelled to DH, "Is this a lot of blood?" Then, I started to pass out and sat down in the shower. He brought me water and bread. I hung on but it really scared me. I saw my MW the next day and have been fine since. Who knew about stuff like that?

Basically, I could handle the changes of pregnancy and the challenges of labor but the actual life form that I am now fully responsible for is a bit overwhelming at times. Yeah, we're totally smitten with her and she's got us wrapped around her finger. Some days, we plan to have four more and other days we think she will be more than enough love for us.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#3 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 07:36 AM
 
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Motherhood is a crazy journey, eh Gunter???

To answer Aubrey's questions though... ABSOLUTELY!!! Dh and I plan on having at least 4 children. I think the best part of the journey (besides actually having a baby) is labor and delivery. It pushed me to my limits and empowers me beyond anything I've ever experienced before. Funny thing is that the only time I remember thinking I didn't want to do this again was right before I started pushing!

Next time *better not* happen until Gabriel is at least 3 or 4 years old though. My body really took a toll having two pregnancies and births within two years. I want to get in better shape (especially in my abdominal region) so I don't have to go through what I did last time with the pendulous belly and the splitting abs and then having to compensate for it during labor. I want to join a prenatal workout group and actually attend prenatal yoga classes. And I want to have the means to pamper myself during my pregnancy because I have yet to get a real prenatal massage!

The best part of this pregnancy was how quickly I fell in love with Gabriel. Also how easily I slipped back into being the mother of a newborn. Sure he's a different person with different needs and wants and likes and dislikes, but it seems to be a lot easier this time because I sort of already knew what to expect in terms of newborn neediness and nighttime waking etc.
It didn't happen like that last time... it seemed like about 7 or 8 months before I felt like a mother and realized I loved Willem as my child. Weird but that's how it happened. The PPD didn't help the feelings of falling in love with Willem because I spent most of my time wishing I wasn't a mother and feeling guilty about not wanting to be so needed.

Anyway, yeah, I'll be doing it again!
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#4 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 08:55 AM
 
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I don't know. Steve and I were planning on having another one or two after I'm finished training, in addition to the boys- but right now I'm still struggling to cope emotionally with November- all of the false alarms, and then the birth being so strange and confusing- I'm starting to understand what happened now (basically midwife said "yes, this is it, this is labour" and I went straight into my rest-and-be-thankful period that I normally have, then felt my cervix pop to full dilation, then my waters broke and...yadda yadda yadda. Or, to put it another way, this is WHY midwives reckon that VEs are meaningless during labour) but part of me still feels like I lost a few hours of my life and I can't have them back. I know I didn't, but it feels like I did, if that makes any sense. Then again, because all of my labour after Sandra arrived was completely painless apart from the last two contractions, part of me is scared that I won't recognise labour next time anyhow... and this isn't even starting on the issue of Isaac and his asthma attack.
Ask me again in a year, and I'll probably have a different answer- but right now, I just don't know.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#5 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 09:58 AM
 
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We always wanted a family of 4 and we have that now. So no more for us. I would if we changed our minds, but you just can't afford more than 2 kids in NYC. So we are done! Though everyone keeps asking if we'll try for a girl. What is up with that? Are we not enough of a family if we don't have a girl? How strange...
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#6 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 02:20 PM
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I hate pregnancy. I feel way better during my post-partum phase than the icky-I-feel-like-crud pregnancy phase.

Would I do it again? I dunno... maybe. I REALLY want a son, always have... but it depends on circumstances and whatnot.
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#7 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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Ooooh, no way. My first pregnancy and labor was so horrific (the preeclampsia, preterm labor one); and this one was so awesome, from beginning to end, but a lot of hard work to stay healthy and pre-e free...

I feel like George Costanza when he figures out it's best to leave after telling the Really Great Joke..."Thanks folks, and with that, I am outta here."

Snip snip for my husband!
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#8 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 04:48 PM
 
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I have always said I wanted 3 kids. I feel like I am only 31, I have so many years ahead of me, and don't want to think that my pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding days are behind me! Dh would be happy with one, but he's ok with 2- doubtful on 3! We just don't like to take on more than we can handle- logistically, financially, or emotionally. So it really depends on what this new baby is like, and what our finances are in a few years.

That said, during and right after this labor, I felt like I could NOT do this again- my first birth was really manageable- right afterwards I felt like, wow, I did it, and I could certainly do that again! it put me in a really good frame of mind gonig into this birth b/c I knew how well I did last time and it wasn't too painful.

HOwever, this time it was REALLY painful (although mercifully quick) and the feeling of those vise-like, crampy contractions and his head pushing through (however awesome that was!).....I just don't know if I want to go through that again!

But the excitement, the joy of having a new baby- and all the anticipation that comes along with it- is just SO incredible and amazing- I'd love to get to experience that again!
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#9 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 05:51 PM
 
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We probably won't have any more. I can't say never, but as much as I love my children, and as grateful as I am to motherhood for bringing about so many what I feel are positive changes in me, I do look forward to getting on to new stages in my life.

Gunter - I feel your pain. I went through some major growing pains psychologically and emotionally when my first child was born. I even briefly considered giving up breastfeeding, because I felt it tied me to her too much. But I knew enough to know that she was going to need me intensely no matter what, and bottle feeding wasn't going to change that. Those first weeks (okay, months) were very difficult for me emotionally. In the first weeks I would be dying for a break from her. Yet when she slept more than an hour in the bed I would sometimes go get her just to be able to hold her while she slept. I would look down at her and weep with joy, then a minute later think, "I shouldn't have done this. I'm not ready for this."

BECOMING A MOTHER IS A HUGE CHANGE! Some of us don't glide gracefully into the role. I had a huge problem going from being able to do whatever I wanted whenever to feeling like I never got to do what I wanted. (Though believe me, it's much tougher when they're older. Toting around a newborn/infant wherever you want - out to dinner for example - is much easier.)

Do you have any friends IRL who are moms? It helps to have someone to hang out with. When Maisie was about 8 months old a gal from MDC and I got together and became great friends. Now I belong to all kinds of groups with other moms. Babywearing group, diaper circle, LLL, Holistic Moms Network. I don't know what I'd do without the time I get to spend with them at meetings talking about the things that are going on in our lives. Talking these feelings out with someone who has been there REALLY REALLy helps.

And feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Hang in there!
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#10 of 29 Old 12-08-2005, 09:16 PM
 
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The morning after Neela was born, I told my MIL that I needed to have bendy straws for my next labour (Kavita suggested them as a needed item for homebirth supplies- I thought I could get away with straws that didn't bend- but I couldn't drink very well while I was pushing in hands and knees ). She couldn't believe I was already talking about next time

I'm planning on at least one more- but want to wait a couple of years. I loved pregnancy, birth and motherhood (so far), but want to give this baby my full attention for a while before I embark on having a second. I really can't imagine having two children...yet. My life feels so full and busy with just one.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#11 of 29 Old 12-09-2005, 01:25 PM
 
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DH and I had always planned on three -- a comprimise from my original desire for five and his for two. But after Elliot, I'm kind of rethinking whether and when we'll have another. I think that we WILL, eventually, but right now I'm kind of not inclined to do it all again.

First, it took us 18 months of trying to get pregnant with Elliot -- a ton of negative HPT's, lots of hard emotional stuff, and more invasive medical treatment than I care to think about. Even though there is no reason to think that we wouldn't have an easier time getting pregnant a second time, the idea of going back to that with the possibility of not being able to have a second baby, is really daunting and depressing. So maybe I'm insulating myself from being hurt by not being able to have a second after I decide I want one by being ambivalent.

On the other hand, this pregnancy and birth experience has been completely perfect. Even though there were a couple of issues, I still feel like I had a blessed pregnancy. I felt good, stayed healthy, didn't get big or lose my ab strength or get stretch marks or feel terrible and just really enjoyed growing my son. The birth was everything I had ever hoped to have ever since I 'discovered' natural childbirth in high school and Elliot is a real calm, mellow, easy baby. To add to all that, things worked out so that I have what I would consider the ideal (for me) post-partum period; I have a nice long leave, and DH and I can take care of the baby without having to put him in daycare for most of his first year, plus we can be home for at least part of each day together with the baby. I guess that I'm terrified that if we were able to have a second, or third or fourth child that things would be a lot less blessed as far as health and circumstance, and so I almost feel like right now, I don't want to risk it. I think as Elliot gets older I'll probably talk myself out of that and come back to a place where I'm ready to do it all again, but for the first time ever I find myself wondering "Gee, would it be so terrible to be an only child?"

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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#12 of 29 Old 12-09-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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Heck, yeah! As we left the hospital, we told the nurses we'd see them again in 18 months!

We've planned on five kids since we got married, and that hasn't changed. My only worry now is how fast/intense labor might be next time. First labor was 7 hours, this one was 2.25 hours... How quick will the next one be? Will I be able to get to the hospital in time? I'm not sure I could find a midwife close enough to comfortably plan a homebirth, plus I don't know if I'd be a good canidate for that since both time I've given birth the babies passed meconium before my water broke and had to be suctioned.

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#13 of 29 Old 12-10-2005, 07:06 AM
 
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Nooooo!! All of the nurses at the hospital were saying stuff like they hoped to see us again with our next babe, and I was like, not going to happen!!

DH and I had already felt really fine with the idea of having an only child, and I can say that after having gone through the birth experience I am not in any way inclined to do that again. Not that it would be the same, but just...no. Really no desire. And even though my pregnancy was really easy and healthy, I can't say I would really want to do that again either!

That being said, I know babylust can be a force stronger than man (or woman, as the case may be) so I might be eating my words in a couple of years!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#14 of 29 Old 12-10-2005, 05:41 PM
 
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i am very torn

probably 3 is enough but when i hold my sweet, tiny perfect sophie...

i think i am so in love with my sweet newborn the thought of never doing this again is too hard to bear so i guess right now we are not saying no!
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#15 of 29 Old 12-10-2005, 07:18 PM
 
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nak--
I think each pg has gottem progressively tougher. I sooo want a big family but I think 3 will be it for us ( though the thought of no more newborns or a sister for my DD saddens me-- a lot.) Plus I'm 35 now.
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#16 of 29 Old 12-13-2005, 02:58 PM
 
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I said after my first I couldn't imagine doing it again, but knew that I would b/c I wanted at least 2. I have always said I want 4 actually, but if I count my dss I've got 3...and if I count dh I've got 4!

I said immediately after Landon was born, that unless God has other plans, I'm done. Ten plus pounders will just do that too you. That said, I can't imagine never being pregnant again, never nursing another newborn, so I'm pretty sure there will be a point in the future when I *want* to do it again, but I'm not so sure that I will follow through on that desire.

But, I don't want anything "permanent" done to me or dh. He's talked about having a vasectomy, but I don't want him to do it. Taking away all possibility just makes me kinda sad. I've got to figure out our best birth control option though...I'm sure enough that I don't want to leave anything up to chance.

Christa
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#17 of 29 Old 12-13-2005, 03:28 PM
 
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Awesome pregnancy, awesome birth...but I think we may be done. I am so open to the idea of a third as is my husband. However, we realize that if we want to pay for private school tuition, college etc...and live comfortably and EVER retire with a nice nest egg, it would be wise to stop with 2. But we have both agreed to wait and see. I will get an IUD when my cycles resume and when we get to the point to have our perfect (to us) 4 year gap again...we will make the call.
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#18 of 29 Old 12-14-2005, 10:15 AM
 
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I used to think I wanted three kids, but I think we're probably done with two. My pregnancy with my DD (two years ago) was perfect and problem-free; this past one with DS was much harder, physically and emotionally. I have been either pregnant, breastfeeding or miscarrying for the past four years, and my body needs a break, I think. I'm 37, and I wouldn't want to wait much longer to have another...but I can't realistically see myself going through all this again in two years or so. Plus, we seem to have a pattern of miscarrying before every viable pregnancy, and that's just way too hard, emotionally and physically.

Add to that the fact that during Elliott's birth, my old c-section scar started to rupture, and that further complicates things. I feel like it would just be asking too much of my body.

Then there are the financial aspects. We have a four bedroom house, and right now both kids have their own rooms. We will be able to afford good educations for them, etc. I might still be able to work only part-time. If we add a third, that wouldn't be possible.

So, I'll never say never...but I think we're done with my two little bundles of sweetness.
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#19 of 29 Old 12-14-2005, 11:14 AM
 
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I used to think I wanted three kids, but I think we're probably done with two. My pregnancy with my DD (two years ago) was perfect and problem-free; this past one with DS was much harder, physically and emotionally. I have been either pregnant, breastfeeding or miscarrying for the past four years, and my body needs a break, I think. I'm 37, and I wouldn't want to wait much longer to have another...but I can't realistically see myself going through all this again in two years or so. Plus, we seem to have a pattern of miscarrying before every viable pregnancy, and that's just way too hard, emotionally and physically.

Add to that the fact that during Elliott's birth, my old c-section scar started to rupture, and that further complicates things. I feel like it would just be asking too much of my body.

Then there are the financial aspects. We have a four bedroom house, and right now both kids have their own rooms. We will be able to afford good educations for them, etc. I might still be able to work only part-time. If we add a third, that wouldn't be possible.

So, I'll never say never...but I think we're done with my two little bundles of sweetness.
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#20 of 29 Old 12-14-2005, 03:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy*
Nooooo!! All of the nurses at the hospital were saying stuff like they hoped to see us again with our next babe, and I was like, not going to happen!!

DH and I had already felt really fine with the idea of having an only child, and I can say that after having gone through the birth experience I am not in any way inclined to do that again. Not that it would be the same, but just...no. Really no desire. And even though my pregnancy was really easy and healthy, I can't say I would really want to do that again either!

That being said, I know babylust can be a force stronger than man (or woman, as the case may be) so I might be eating my words in a couple of years!
Thats me all over the place after both my boys! We were done each time, that's it, caput, no more! Alas, I think the spirits had other plans for me! But now that we're a family of five, I sure hope no more *opps'* happen. Birth control just doesn't seem to have held up it's part of the bargain, so I really hope the depo will do it for me this time.
We just feel very complete now. A full, happy family that isn't too big nor too small, just right. And I am so very glad birth control had no control over me!
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#21 of 29 Old 12-15-2005, 08:14 PM
 
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I've wanted nothing more than to be a mother for at least ten years. I finally have my daughter and am somebody's mom! yay! I thought too, that I'd like to just have 1 child. There were three of us in my family and dh has 4 siblings. One child seems so simple and intimate.

BUT... dh has always thought we should have at least 2 so they could play together and have a lifelong friend who is close to them in age. So he has always pushed for more than one.

And now that we have a child,
I want to do it again! I want to be pregnant again, I want to experience birth again, and I want there to be a chance that I can have a babymoon uninterrupted by a stay in the NICU. I would like just one more.

And now dh says, maybe one is enough! I think we just need a little time to get over all the stress in our lives. We just had a baby three weeks ago and are closing on our new house tomorrow, which means we are trying to move right when I go back to work, etc.... High stress levels plus a newborn make life less organized, but no less delicious.

So I guess we're still up in the air. (But I secretly think we'll have a sibling for Isa in the next 3 years...)
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#22 of 29 Old 12-16-2005, 01:41 PM
 
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It's funny how soon we forget about the 9 months of pregnancy and the eventual birth, not to mention all of the sleepless nights, etc. Yes, I would love to do it all again, but not for a couple of years. I would love to try for a boy after having my two beautiful girls. Convincing DH is another story. He is content with two.
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#23 of 29 Old 12-17-2005, 03:52 AM
 
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im not so sure.. when i was pregnant i thought i wanted 10 kids.. but having birthed ngaio so recenty i feel different. her birth was SO intense.. i dont know if i want to ever feel that kind of pain again. it was amazing and beautiful and im sure in a year or so ill be wanting another, but i think ill wait at least 5 years if i ever have another baby. its a LOT of work having 2 under 3 and beaing a single parent. ill go hours without getting to eat or pee some days and its hard to say the least. but im so enjoying it as well.. i really want to find someone to take care of me(us) before i decide to do it again!@ that said i love being a momma and im so in love with my kids and every day i thnk the earth and the gods & goddess's that i have such an amazing life.

 

 

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#24 of 29 Old 12-17-2005, 04:20 AM
 
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My short answer:
In a heartbeat.
In fact, I may find it hard to wait to TTC until Winter is at least a year. I love him so much I would rewind time and go back and birth him again. Labor was painful but the memory is totally overshadowed by the overwhelming love and awe I feel for him. I would go through the entire thing a million times if I could. And I will definitely have another home water birth.
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#25 of 29 Old 12-17-2005, 11:45 AM
 
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It's funny, before I was pregnant with Noah, I could care less one way or another if I ever had kids. I figured that if I did, one would be plenty. I even went so far as to think (when I first found out about him) that I would be fine stopping here. Then, regardless of my circumstances (his dad and I spliiting four months into my pregnancy) I had *the most AMAZING pregnancy and birth*!!!!! It was all such a spiritual experience for me, and I would love nothing more than to go through with it all again, but with the right partner by my side this time. I have alot of things to work through before that's even an option, but one day I hope to give Noah a beautiful brother or sister!!! It was definitely ALL WORTH IT!!!!
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#26 of 29 Old 12-21-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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nak

Totally!!! Such an amazing experience! Even with the two kidney infections... and if i can give birth naturally at home with a kidney infection, then without one it would be easier, right? I loved pushing, hated crowning, but nothing mattered once sweet little Aena was born! And I'm so glad my mom was there 'cause she's all about home birth now and with the infection I wouldn't have made it without her after the birth...

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#27 of 29 Old 12-22-2005, 09:46 PM
 
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I am already having baby lust! But we can't afford to have another baby right away. We just bought a house and a car this month! yikes! I want to make sure we can provide everything Isa needs and then we'll try again.
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#28 of 29 Old 12-31-2005, 10:09 PM
 
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Yes, I would do it again. We are all really positive on our little boy's birth, me, dh, dd. dd says she wants another baby already. The only part I would hope not to do again was the barfing my way through the first trimester while trying to homeschool dd.
I already have amnesia about labor and pushing out the 10 and a half pound chunky nugget I have here! It does take a slight toll physically, but a routine of abs and kegels every day will get the old bod back better than before.
I'll go for it again if we get the opportunity, hopefully not too soon though. I like a long interval between nurslings.
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#29 of 29 Old 01-17-2006, 06:00 AM
 
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Would I? I'm ready now - DW thinks I am crazy. Okay, maybe I am

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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