My first day back at work is tomorrow. I've been home since November 21.
I'm sad that Drew is just now really waking up and starting to smile and laugh and coo. How will I find time at night to spend just playing with him like I did with Evan? This thought breaks my heart.
I'm scared that there will be so much to do each night (dinner, baths, prep for the next day) that I won't be able to be happy and enjoy my babies.
I'm worried that I'm going to be so stressed that I'll turn into an angry shrew and my kids will hate me.
Moms do this all the time, right?? We'll be okay, right?
I cried today because Drew is going to smell different now. He'll be staying w/ my MIL (which is great, don't get me wrong), but he's going to come home smelling like a hospital. She uses this very medicinal-smelling lotion that totally rubs off on my kids. The same thing happened when Evan stayed with her (he's in daycare now).
I'd love to go part-time at work, but financially I just can't right now. I'm the bread-winner, so to speak, and I work for a big evil corporation who pays me very well. DH should be getting a nice pay increase after he finishes school, so that'll help. Hopefully I'll be able to spend more time at home then.