Help me accept the new normal - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have always thought of myself as a confident person and have had no problems accepting my body for what it was...I liked to think of even my flaws as quirky...

But now...I HATE my boobs!!! Seriously, I can't stand them. They are huge, ginormous, and in my way: . DH says that he loves them but that makes me angry; you can't like them if I don't like them and I feel like you are lying anyways since I know that they are hideous. And it isn't their appearence (ie mature, woman breasts...I'm fine with that), it is where they are, how much space they take up, how they make any shirt or outfit (if I can find something that can encase them...) fit oddly (and make me look dowdy), and how I cannot find a bra that fits properly or that is supportive...AAAAAAAArrrrggggghhhhh!!!

I also got a bit depressed thinking that for as long as I am nursing they will stay this size. I will nurse as long as Scarlett likes which probably means I will still be nursing her when I have another baby, and then there is nursing that baby and what if I have a third? I could have these things for 6 years or more....

Oh and before I became pregnant I was a C cup and now am at least a DD...

Thanks for letting me vent...I promise I will get over myself eventually...maybe all I need is a good bra?

Kelli
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#2 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 12:42 PM
 
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im right there with you. i was 32C before getting prego. now i am about a 38 DD!!! that is huge for me! yesterday i tried to wear a shirt that i used to wear pre-E and it came up to my belly button or above. so, there will be no more really cute shirts for me either.
dh says he loves my boobies now but he cant touch them. they are really sensitive and unless babe is nursing, i really dont want them touched. i dont know how common that is, but its unfortunate for us. i wont even go into what goes on if he touches them for 2 seconds but lets just say i cant have that happening all day! :

i guess i havent focused on how i dont like my boobies so much because there is so much else about my body that i dont like right now, which is not at all what i am used to. with the first 2, i lost weight very quickly. this time not at all. i am trying to keep up with my weight loss plan but its not going well for me right now. when other things happen in my life, that gets thrown out the door. bad me!!

im sure others here who are larger breasted can offer advice for cute shirts..i just dont hvae any. but i hope to see some here later. b/c i need that too!

and for what its worth, i am SURE your dh is being honest. i truly believe mine is..i just dont agree with him.



rach
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#3 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 12:52 PM
 
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Where was it that someone's child said "Mommy, your boobies are oval. Not round, oval." I'm totally feeling you. I went from a very firm DD to an H : I used to at least be able to wear button up shirts with an undershirt and just look buxom at the top which had to be left undone. Now in combination with my mummy tummy, I can't button anything. I fit into a Medium shirt before (If it were long enough) and now I'm bordering on XL just because of the ginormous boobs. My torso is now more barrel shaped than curvy.

Geez, I suck at helping you come to terms! Maybe we should all start a modeling agency and make our draping shirts be the new thing!
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#4 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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I'm right there w/you! But dh told me the other day that he'll be glad when they're SMALLER! Don't get me wrong, I will too, but comeon! Don't guys want the porn star boobies (maybe minus the milk - LOL). He may have just told me that b/c he doesn't like the idea of bfing past a year. Oh well for him! At least our big breasts will have less of a chance of getting cancer.

Rachel~wife to Keith since 5/01~mother to Georgia since 4/04~Bishop since 1/06~Zoe since 11/07 (my HBA2C!)~EDD 2/14/10 w/Baby surprise #4
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#5 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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Kelli,

Look in the phone book for someone who makes tailor-made bras. I've heard they are the best for just-right support. I also like the "Bravado!" brand bras (designed for nursing/pregnant mamas). I think you can buy them online, although I bought from a private consultant. They're reasonably priced. Um let me see if I can find the website....... Oh gosh yes they're everywhere online. Like this site, for instance http://www.wearsthebaby.com/bravadopage.htm

Hugs to you, girl. Sorry you are feeling unhappy about your size
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#6 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 05:02 PM
 
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I'll second the Bravado brand for support and shape- but make sure it's the actual bra and not the sport-type.... that'll give you a uniboob. The one with the clasp int he middle looks great but the downside is that you have to close the clasp.... I usually forget and remember somewhere very public and end up digging around my shirt like a dolt
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#7 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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yeah. i'm with you too. i'm sportin' 36G's right now. but i will tell you that when rowan was around 1.5, my boobs started shrinking. then i got pregnant 6mos later so they started getting bigger again, but your boobs don't typically stay in this HUGE state for the whole time you're nursing. i mean there are exceptions : but it's not the norm.

i want someone to come up with an entire line of clothing for huge busted women. there is NOTHING that is flattering to this figure. my arms and legs are like twigs and then i'm just this big round thing in the middle. it's quite attractive. if you live in opposite world. :
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#8 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 08:32 PM
 
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I do think the right bra can make all the difference in the world...
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#9 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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i agree w the good bra thing
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#10 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 10:06 PM
 
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what good bras have you found? I'm in the G range too. Well I did squish into an F but I still pop out a bit (and dh calls me DB for double boob.) I'm having a hard time as my body shrinks and my boobs dont. All my bras are too big around in the band so I need a 34/36 G and that is impossible to find IRL. Online they have some on ebay (that arent nursing) but they are $50! LOL

Desiree

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#11 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 10:42 PM
 
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Mine aren't so big, exactly... they're just so looooong. Once I stop bf-ing they'll be sad little empty tube socks.

I can't believe I'm saying this out loud, but I think I may want a lift once I'm done having babies. Normally, I'm way way opposed to cosmetic surgery. But I'd LOVE to see my nipples back up where they started. Not implants, mind you... just a little lift. Is that so wrong? It'll never happen, but it's nice to dream...:
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#12 of 26 Old 06-27-2006, 11:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DesireeH
what good bras have you found?
Trying to find the right bra for you online is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, IMO. Just because one particular brand works well for me doesn't mean it will be the same for others. We all have unique sizes and issues (like the tube socks in the making, lol.)

I found my ideal bra by going to a local bra shop with certified fitters. It's kinda creepy to have them come in the dressing room with you and measure your girls, helping you shimmy them into all kinds of bras, but I'll tell ya, I'd have never found a bra that fit me right without her help.

FWIW, my perfect bra is a Fancee Free. There's a link on the page where you can plug in your zip and see any local retailers that carry them.

And while a good-fitting bra can be expensive, if you can afford to get even just one, it's nice to have it when you really care what you look like.

Lately, I haven't been worrying about it, since I like to wear really loose-fitting organic bras as much as possible for health reasons, and it doesn't really matter what I look like when I go out, since I usually front-wear Will anyway. So, I have one Fancee Free for special occasions, and the rest of the time, I hang out in my Blue Canoe sports-type super comfy bras.
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#13 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 12:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much everyone for the "support"...did I say that? Who do I think I am? Michelle?

I think some bras work for some people and not others, for example, I am really disappointed with Bravados but they seem to be all that is out there. What other brands have people tried and where do you get them? (thanks for the Fancee Free post BTW). Has anyone tried the medela bras?

Kelli
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#14 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 10:08 AM
 
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I'm a 36 DD now, and I'm also having real trouble finding something comfortable. No local shops around here carry anything but Playtex, which just isn't cutting it. I ordered a Glamourmom tank which I like, but it's not quite enough support. It's an awful lot of support for a tank, though, so that's good. I also have troubles with rib pain due to an old operation, so I can't wear a very constricting band. I'm thinking of ordering a Decent Exposures (www.decentexposures.com), but they're so expensive! Anybody know about those? I've heard good things about them, so I may just bite the bullet and do it.
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#15 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 12:27 PM
 
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Ok, I was thinking about this and decided to suck it up and give some real help with acceptance.

- beneath a big breast is like having a secret compartment, I can put chapstick there when I'm at the pool
- your waistline will always be a mystery (a wonderful thing for us with mummy tummy)
- a great excuse to get new clothes and have them altered JUST for your figure
- everyone's jealous that your "cup runneth over"
- if you fell off a boat, you'd have less work to keep yourself afloat
- Your "weather indicators" are just that much more obvious.
- you never have to look at where your belt is notched... because I know I can't even see mine!
- since they're filled with milk, they're always a great reason to go for Ben & Jerry's
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#16 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 02:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleLlama
Ok, I was thinking about this and decided to suck it up and give some real help with acceptance.

- beneath a big breast is like having a secret compartment, I can put chapstick there when I'm at the pool
- your waistline will always be a mystery (a wonderful thing for us with mummy tummy)
- a great excuse to get new clothes and have them altered JUST for your figure
- everyone's jealous that your "cup runneth over"
- if you fell off a boat, you'd have less work to keep yourself afloat
- Your "weather indicators" are just that much more obvious.
- you never have to look at where your belt is notched... because I know I can't even see mine!
- since they're filled with milk, they're always a great reason to go for Ben & Jerry's
LOL!!!!!

okay, so i've become a bit of an expert on boobs and bras lately so here goes...i'm a 36 I or J so i think i have you all beat!

i recently ordered 8, yes 8, bras from http://www.birthandbaby.com/ (found the link from the honkin huge boobas tribe in FYT) i ordered that many in different sizes, models and companies. i found the one i wanted, then returned the rest. i'm actually going into their store tonight for a customized fitting. we happen to be driving through the podunk town in eastern washington where they are based. these women have been so helpful and are even coming in about 9pm to help me.

i have been wearing a fancee free since reed's birth and honestly, i hate it. i ordered it from breakout bras. i heard such great things but it totally didn't hold it's shape and my boobs hang almost as low as they would without a bra. fyi - fancee free bras are notorious for having extra long straps, so you may need to take them in by at least 2-3 inches for each strap. i also find it scratchy, even though it's a soft cotton. the part that stays on your boob when you let down the nursing flap gives me plugged ducts very often because it is so tight even though the actual cup is too loose.

my absolute favorite (perfect for those of you with big boobs, or pendulous breasts like me) is the jeunique. i am amazed at how it totally lifts you and makes you perky again. they look super-pointy when you first try it on, so don't let that scare you off. after washing and wearing it conforms to your shape. but man, i haven't seen my boobs look like that in years!!! i am a convert!

i tried on the following bras in case you have questions:
Goddess 511 - very soft and comfy, but was the wrong size. it reminded me too much of the fancee free so i was afraid i wouldnt like it too.
The Jeunique Bra J30 - the lace is really scratchy, ick
Smoothie 327 - i freakin' love this bra, but they don't make it in my size. i think they do make it up to an h cup though. it's smooth and comfy and waaay supportive.
Confidante 300 - this is what i went with. not beautiful, but definitely supportive. worth every cent i paid.

i also had considered a lift because they are so hangy. i don't know that i need to now that i got the jeunique bra!
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#17 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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I just got a new bra that I like a lot (I'm only 36B, though, so I can't say that it would work for someone with large breasts). It's a Noppies. Lots of places onlline have them. Here's one: http://www.nurturedfamily.com/detail.aspx?ID=110
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#18 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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oh wow, what great resources for bras! i gotta get fitted again. these girls change shape all the damn time. LOL

sarah i am CRACKING UP at your post!!! i gotta add some.

- other people's breastfed babies always give you a big ol' grin because you look like a damn buffet (yes i have actually found this to be true)
- you look really great in slow motion, running toward your toddler who's bolting down the street. oh wait. people can't see things in slow motion unless you're on baywatch. strike that :
- you can kiss your own boobs to thank them for nourishing your children.
- when you're lying in a recliner, your boobs provide a nice little shelf for snacks.

: that's all i could come up with.
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#19 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 04:08 PM
 
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Ok, I'll have to admit.... if it came down to it, I could take care of a plugged duct :
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#20 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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This is my all time favorite nursing bra. It gives great support without losing shape and makes my boobs look normal. I wear a 38H, but with this bra I can wear both a G and an H for some reason.

Anita Nursing Bra Style 5062


Also, my huge girls are great for smothering DH when he's been a bad boy! LOL
Uh, DD who's reading over my shoulder AS USUAL is gigglling and telling me no mom take that part out mom, omg mom. So I'm leaving it. Muahahaha!
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#21 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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i have a weird aversion to tasting my own milk. i think i'd die if i had to taste it. omg. just the thought of it makes my stomach turn. why???
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#22 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michelemiller
i have a weird aversion to tasting my own milk. i think i'd die if i had to taste it. omg. just the thought of it makes my stomach turn. why???
Really? That's interesting... This may sound weird, but it was one of the first things I did when I started lactating. I just thought it was so amazing that I could make milk
And I figured if I was feeding it to my child, I should be able to taste it myself (not that I think you should taste it... I was just interested to know what it tasted like.) It doesn't taste like much, it's just really sweet...
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#23 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 05:45 PM
 
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yeah it's weird to me too. i'm such a staunch lactivist and am proud and empowered by my amazing ability to produce enough nourishment for 2 growing humans. but the thought of actually tasting it just makes me all squidgy. i hate that i feel that way! and don't understand it at all.
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#24 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 06:48 PM
 
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I hate my boobs, too. I'm only 22 and they are as saggy as they're going to get. And a 34D, which is an improvement from a 34F when Luka was born. I squeeze into an old 36C Victoria Secret bra because I can't afford a new bra from VS and I am really allergic to latex, which seems to be in every other bra I've tried. Half of my nipples hang out the top of my bra. Aside from the latex issue, I found the target nursing tank top pretty comfy. A size medium works for me, a 34D size 4. I wore an XL when I was at a 34F postpartum. When I really need a nursing bra, I wear it and deal with the itchy rash.

I go braless about 75% of the time even though my nipples hang halfway to my belly button (and yes, can easily reach my mouth ). All breasts sag eventually and it's okay. Even if it does make us self-conscious. We are grown women, not 14 yr. olds.
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#25 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THe Anita bra looks amazing - I want to get one!!!


Oh and I think I can admit this here and hey, what the heck we are getting shut down anyways right?

My friends and I when we were first in midwifery sat around at my friends house who had just had a baby and did breastmilk shots...

Is that bad?

Oh yes, and I have tasted mine and DH helped out on a plugged duct..

TMI? Probably.

Kelli
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#26 of 26 Old 06-28-2006, 11:07 PM
 
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Yeah, the Anita Bra is on the expensive side (although average price for a good nursing bra). I got fitted for this bra back when I had Owen, my 2 yr old. I still own the bra. It's in perfect shape, not stretched out or ripped or anything. It doesn't itch, like most everything does on me, pinch, feel awful under the boobs, and the straps hold their adjustment. I bought a new one when I had Greyson, though I needed a cupsize larger.
I sound like a darn commercial, but my girls still point up when I go braless even as huge a they are, and I attribute that to always, always picking out good bras that leave circulation but also give great support. Oh, and I also have upper body strength. You know how a guy can firm up his pecks and make them ripple? I can do that with my boobs. Sick, huh? LOL
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