Labor is coming... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I see it looming out there on the horizon....

And I can't put it off, go around it, or otherwise get out of it. When it comes, it comes. And I have to go through it. And that freaks me out. I'm so nervous, and it's getting closer and closer. But, I'm not as nervous as I was a month or so ago. I wonder if it's just cause I'm in denial, or whether I AM actually preparing for this in some way. I have been doing a lil bit of preparation, but nothing major. I still haven't finished BFW, and I haven't done any serious mental work to prepare for labor... and I wonder if I'm ready. Or rather, will I BE ready, cause I KNOW I'm not right now! But I don't want to be nervous about it, because that'll make it worse.

But another part of me kind of WANTS it to come, because then I'll be able to stop being pregnant. I love being pregnant, but I do miss sleeping comfortably. Heh, I guess those days are behind me now for good anyway. And I miss not being in pain.

And then I think I'm crazy for wanting to go into labor. And the cycle repeats.
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#2 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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I honestly had no fear of labor my first time, and ended up thinking it really wasn't that bad at all, even though I was in labor for over 3 days (posterior baby). I didn't even shed a single tear. All of my labor was in my back though. Now I'm ready Ina May's book that has a million and one birth stories in it. It sounds like it is so different for everyone. I am wondering if my labor is in the front if it will be worse this time around. I'm glad I'll be at home and have my bathtub.

I would say in order, with 1 being the easiest and 5 being the most difficult:

1. Second trimester
2. Giving birth
3/4. First 3 months of dd's life - Third trimester (tied)
5. First trimester

Giving birth really wasn't that bad, it was pretty cool actually pushing the baby out!

~Tracy

Rockin' mama to Allison (9), Asher (5) and Alethea (3), head over heels in love with my sexy husband, Tony.

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#3 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 04:35 PM
 
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Yes it is...(coming). This is my second pregnancy but I'm still thinking alot about the birth. Wondering how different/similar it will be. Hoping the babe won't be posterior again. And then wondering how quick it might be if I don't have back labor. Hoping to do some things differently. There really is alot of the first birth that I don't remember clearly (the pain). I KNOW it was hard work, but that isn't what stuck in my memory, kwim? And I didn't write it down soon after like I should have, but I do have a photo of me looking pretty tired at about midnight after being at the hospital since 3 in the afternoon. It kinda helps me though, because I KNOW that I can do it even if it were to last just as long, which I'm sure it won't. Off Topic: was at a leaders meeting for a mothers group (MOPS) I am involved with and was struck with how few women around me share my philosophy about childbirth. It just makes me feel sad, I guess that so many women view birth as something that happens TO them and not as something that they DO. I just don't think that birth is something to be "rescued" ie-delivered from. I'm not saying that every time a woman uses meds is a cop-out, just that I hate hearing about how crazy women who don't want drugs are. :

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#4 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 05:32 PM
 
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Sarah, I agree with your comments about birth and women's attitudes toward it. I certainly don't judge anyone who decides to use drugs in their birth experience, but I sure do feel priviledged to have had the experience of giving birth without them. And I look forward to it again. And I think women who have never even considered not using drugs completely miss out on the experience that those who try to do it without or who do do it without, get. If that makes any sense.

Persephone, I am having all sorts of feelings about labor, too, and this will be my third time. One of the best things about labor, I think, is how challenging it is. In being that way, it's incredibly empowering and it becomes that rite of passage that it is meant to be. I guess I am saying that I am nervous and also excited. And I continue to feel so fortunate to be someone who can give birth (that I am a woman, not a man, that I have been able to get pregnant, etc, etc.)

Tracy, I read Ina May last time before labor and it was so perfect. I am going to the library this afternoon and plan to get her book again.

I am definitely being reminded daily that labor is coming, as my baby has dropped low and I feel my pelvis opening. Feels in some ways like beginning labor, though I am confident that labor is way off.

Home stretch now, Ladies! The milk I bought today expires just before my due date....eeek!

Emily
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#5 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 07:31 PM
 
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I can't believe that the birth of this child is already so close!! This pregnancy flew by! I am very excited, but also very nervous. I didn't have much labor at all last time, my water broke and I never got into active labor on my own. Had to transfer to the hospital to get pictocin and that didn't work well either, so I ended up with a c-section after my water was broken for 42 hours. I am so hoping for natural labor and birth this time, but I really don't know what to expect, and I am having a hard time believing my body can and will do it this time! I am just trying to think positive thoughts and make plans on how to do things different this time. In the end I will have my little boy, and then the fun will really begin!
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#6 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 07:34 PM
 
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Yep, yesterday I was really constipated and when I finally went, it wasn't fun...then I thought, hmmm...pushing the baby out isn't as bad as that! That got me thinking, sheesh, yep, this kid is coming out like his brother and sister... Very real, no way around it!!! It's coming out eventually!
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#7 of 16 Old 11-18-2005, 10:34 PM
 
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Sometimes I get that panicky feeling too like "Oh my goodness, I really have to push this baby out. There's no other alternative!" Mostly though I'm just really excited and want to go into labor ASAP (once baby is done cooking). I might be being unrealistic because I know I'll be in bad pain, but sometimes I just feel like my arms are aching with the desire to hold my little one.
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#8 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 04:11 AM
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Persephone,

Labor is a weird thing. . . I think that thinking about it actually helps you prepare mentally, and I think mental preparation is very important. I was really nervous with baby #2--primarily because I knew what I DIDN'T want (from #1) but wasn't sure how I would do. Historically speaking, I don't tolerate pain very well. Reading lots of birth stories, creating my own birth art, and learning about tons of different techniques helped put my mind at ease. As I got closer, I kept reminding myself that my body was designed for this. Whenever there was an opportunity (even a headache) I would try to relax all parts of my body so that I could practice not tensing up.

This all proved very beneficial to me. I quite literally felt like God after giving birth to Kayla. The best power trip/natural high ever. I felt sorry for men because they have not a chance of experiencing this. I wanted to be pg again so that I could birth again. Most women gave me a blank stare when I would explain that. Most women were opposite--they would like to have another except for the fact that pg and birth were part of the package.

This time I have no worries. I am thankful to be planning a homebirth with the knowledge and confidence that it will be great. I am excited to use a birth tub for birth not just labor. I am already feeling powerful and ecstatic. I love being on this board because I am not the only one who knows this.

Good luck everyone! I hope you all have a powerful and fulfilling birth. Sure, parts will hurt (a lot) but they create the best feeling after you make it through.

Amy

Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (12), Maya (8). 
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#9 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 01:07 PM
 
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You know, when I had myfirst, I wasn't really worried about labor. I knew it was going to happen,there wasn't anything I could do to stop it, and my best bet was to sit back and enjoy the ride. I did and had a great birth. Second time, I knew what to expect, but same deal -- nothing I can do to stop it, best bet is to sit back and enjoy the ride. Now I'm onwhirl number three and I'm slightly more anxious about it than the two previous times *because* I know what to expect and I have sat back to enjoy the ride.
I think that you can read 100 books, talk to 200 people,and meditate on it for 300 hours but there is really nothing you can do to truly prepare for birth, especially a first one. The best thing you can really do is succumb to the knowledge that its going to happen whether you like it or not,sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Namaste, Tara
mama to Doodle (7), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (due at home 1/06)
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#10 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 08:36 PM
 
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With my first I read every book I could find and was really prepaered. But nothing could get me past the first time jitters........e.xcept the last month of pregnancy. I believe the lat bit is designed to be so uncomfortable that we are willing to do anything to make it end, so that by the time baby came tow weeks overdue I wasn't scared of birth at all anymore. I'm counting on the same effect this time.....

Heather
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#11 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 08:40 PM
 
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It helps to remember we are designed for this, Mamas... Trillions of us have done it, probably more, since the dawn of time!

You are the most recent in an incredibly long line of successful baby havers since the dawn of man kind!
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#12 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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I LOVE labor and birth!!!! I get so excited thinking about it!! It's my favorite part of being pregnant ~ waiting for the big day and then conquering it!

I can't wait!!!
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#13 of 16 Old 11-19-2005, 10:05 PM
 
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I've always found that nature makes you so sick of being pregnant there at the end that you are begging for labor . I don't recall if I was scared the first time, damn that was a long time ago, but I wasn't for any of the others, if that's any consolation. I think a lot of it is the "big unknown." No matter how much you prepare, until YOU do it, its still a mystery in a way.
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#14 of 16 Old 11-27-2005, 04:45 AM
 
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I've been thinking about my impending labour more often lately, too. When I was first pregnant, it was pretty scary to contemplate. Now as I get closer, I'm not sure how it'll be but I don't feel scared of the pain. I know there will be pain and that I'll deal with it. And whatever comes of it, my baby will be born.

But sometimes I look down and my rather quickly expanding belly and think, "Oh gee, there's only ONE way out for you!" There's something slightly freaky about the inevitability of it. I'm used to being in control but pregnancy has definitely taught me that this is the beginning of a new phase of my life. One where I'm NOT in control - and that it's okay to not be in control.

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#15 of 16 Old 11-27-2005, 10:10 AM
 
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This will probably sound odd..........but I love labor. I don't think of it as pain and I don't think it has to be painful. We are told it is painful. My dh and I use deep relaxation (Bradley) and just let my body do the work. I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to my body so this helps me feel in control. I control my response to each contraction. Not saying it isn't hard work because it is, but it's a good kind of work. That being said, I hate the pushing stage. That is the stage I feel "out of control" and that makes me very uncomfortable. Thankfully I have short pushing stages. Last ds was out in about 5 min. After each birth I try to analyze what it is about pushing that I hate and I think it is just the lack of control. You are truly at the mercy of your body. The urge is so strong you have no choice.

For me the best way to overcome my fear of labor was to read read read all I could get my hands on. The more you know the less there is to fear. Even if you don't like the method, have no intention of going drug-free, etc. the Bradley book gives the best explanation of what happens in labor and delivery . IMHO.

Can't believe it is almost our time!!!!
Kathy

momma to 4!
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#16 of 16 Old 11-27-2005, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been watching and noticing how I react to thoughts of labor and giving birth as time goes on. I think that when my time comes, I'll be so sick of being pregnant, that labor will sound like a fun new adventure. Right now, it's not sounding so scary, so I think my mind is preparing me, but I also feel like I could keep being pregnant for a while, and I don't mind being pregnant, so I think my time is still off in the distant future. I can't believe how close we are to our times though! The next two months are going to be exciting ones for our lil DDC.
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