What is with weight??? - Mothering Forums
January 2006 > What is with weight???
sunnylady303's Avatar sunnylady303 10:04 AM 12-07-2005
I gained 60 lbs with my last pregnancy (or 67 lbs as my dh likes to helpfully remind me) and lost it all within a year - no problems, not even trying, eating like a horse. My OB (who was an a**) never said a word about it. This time I have a midwife who I like and she is all wound up because I've gained 30 lbs at this point (32 weeks). I realize that's not great, but it's better than last time and my body seems to do fine with it. Why all the stress about it? Why can't my body just gain what it needs to gain? I'm tired of feeling guilty. I wasn't skinny to begin with (165 before pregnancy) but sheesh!! I hate feeling like this.

zjandosmom's Avatar zjandosmom 10:09 AM 12-07-2005
Refuse to be weighed. That has made all the difference for me! Tell her it is stressing you out too much and you don't want to do it anymore.
ehsclt's Avatar ehsclt 11:40 AM 12-07-2005
I agree with Kathy. I don't understand the stress over weight either, at all. I had gained 32 pounds or so by 28 weeks this time and I admit that I was a little alarmed, but none of my mws seemed to care at all. Well, it turns out that my total weight gain is now 35-36 lbs and I haven't gained anything in over a month. Clearly, my body has a bit of an unusual pattern, but it's what's right for me. And yours is doing what is right for you.

How could someone be alarmed at a weight gain in the 30 lb range???
MamaTaraX's Avatar MamaTaraX 12:43 PM 12-07-2005
Yup, refuse to be weighed if it bugs you. With my first, I didn't really care, thought the weight gaining was fun. Second, I weighed myself at both the OB and midiwves, and still thought it was fun. This time I havea midwife who comes to me and a broken scale, so weighing isn't a real option. When I go see the back-up OB, they ask me to be weighed. I argued with one nurse for five minutes about how I did not want to be weighed and finally caved because she wasn't budging. When I went the second time, I had a different nurse and didn't really care and was interested to see how big I was I go see him my third and fnial time in two weeks and I probably will not be weighed unless I'mbored and want to know. I used one of those free scales at a grocery store a few weeks ago, I may do that again. Anyway, weight isn't a huge deal like some care providers make it out to be. Atleast this isn't 50 years ago when doctors gave women water pills and told them to not gain morethan 15 pounds...and they listened!

Namaste, Tara
jayayenay's Avatar jayayenay 01:53 PM 12-07-2005
Originally Posted by sunnylady303
Why can't my body just gain what it needs to gain?
That's exactly what it's doing. I'm sorry your midwife is giving you grief about your weight. It sounds like you're doing super to me!

We're pregnant...We're supposed to gain weight!
Wugmama's Avatar Wugmama 01:55 PM 12-07-2005
I can't believe your midwife would say anything about it. I also gained 60 lbs with my first pg and at the time had hospital CNMs. They never said anything. I lost 70 lbs by 18 months - without trying either.

Now, at 34 weeks, I have gained 49 lbs. They only comment my homebirth midwives have said is, "Good for you for being so well nourished!".

I'm sorry that is happening to you!
because's Avatar because 02:23 PM 12-07-2005
The best advice I've heard is "it's not how much you gain, it's what you gain it on."

For example, Doritoes and Coke = bad.

I'm not sure why the medical model cares so much about the numbers. Oh wait, maybe it's because it's all they can see/control. I mean, imagine how much time it would take to, gasp, ask each woman what she's been eating and make a few suggestions (more leafy greens, more protein... etc.)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Don't let their stupidity make you change the way your beautiful, perfect, mama body is growing this baby. Eat right, love yourself, love your baby, and ignore them.
megpaw's Avatar megpaw 03:27 PM 12-07-2005
As long as you're eating a healthy diet, I wouldn't sweat it at all. Your body knows what it needs to gain! At 33 weeks I've gained 40 lbs, and it's all in my belly. Well, there may be a couple of Dairy Queen soft-serve cones that went to my hips, but most of it is good, healthy weight gain!
Persephone's Avatar Persephone 05:21 PM 12-07-2005
34 wks here, and 35 lbs heavier than when I began (I was 165 when I started, overweight for my frame.) I think that being overweight to begin with is making it harder on me than it has to be in these final weeks, but I still wouldn't choose to gain any less weight than what my body put on for my baby. My midwife is a fan of the Brewer diet though, so the more weight I gain, the better to her. She also cited a study by the March of Dimes that showed that women who gained 35+ lbs, regardless of starting weight, had better birth outcomes than women who gained less than that. So, be happy! You're almost there!
hottmama's Avatar hottmama 08:28 PM 12-07-2005
I've gained 47 lbs. at 37 weeks, and am totally unconcerned. With my son I gained 40 lbs. total and lost 50 by the time he was 9 mos. old, so I know it'll go away soon. Not that I'm not eager to get back into my cute skinny girl clothes, but that's not important enough to starve myself now!
anarchamama's Avatar anarchamama 10:44 PM 12-08-2005
I gained 50 pounds with my son and have gained 35 so far at 34 weeks. My MW has never weighed me or asked, she doesen't care at all as long as the baby feels like it's growing properly.

Don't worry abut it, or tell you MW you don't want to discuss your weight.

Momalea's Avatar Momalea 06:49 AM 12-10-2005
I've lost track of how much I've gained because it was starting to stress me out. I stopped weighing myself (once I had gained 45 pounds) and my mw is fine with it. I agree with all the other mamas, let your mw know you're not going to be weighed any more and continue to do what you're doing to take care of yourself.
winonamom2be's Avatar winonamom2be 05:18 PM 12-11-2005
Originally Posted by Persephone
She also cited a study by the March of Dimes that showed that women who gained 35+ lbs, regardless of starting weight, had better birth outcomes than women who gained less than that.
I'd be interested to know where I can see a copy of this study, because the March of Dimes website seems to contradict that, saying that average weight women should gain only 25-35 pounds and overweight women should gain no more than 15-25 pounds.


As a plumper woman going into pregancy, and now at 35 weeks having gained about 50 pounds, I find that I am quite physically uncomfortable. I have gained my weight on healthy foods for the most part (just a LOT of them, as I have been VERY hungry), but I just wonder how much more comfy I would be if I had kept the weight gain down. My first trimester, I gained about 13 pounds because the only thing I could eat without feeling sick was whole wheat pasta with butter and cheese. Sigh.

My midwife hasn't said anything about it, although I really like the idea of refusing to be weighed, because it does make me feel bad every time I go there. Thanks for the tip!
pinkmilk's Avatar pinkmilk 07:18 PM 12-11-2005
God you guys...I have the opposite problem.I've only gained 10 pounds at 33 weeks. I'm just not hungry and I try to eat regularily but sometimes will go to 1:00pm until I even think of eating or if I have breakfast(toast and half a banana) I won't think of eating again until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Being diabetic this really isn't very good! Any suggestions on what I could do to increase my appetite?
Persephone's Avatar Persephone 12:16 AM 12-12-2005
Winona, I'll ask her about it. I really don't care either way, I trust my body will gain what it needs, but I'll see if I can find her source.
beansavi's Avatar beansavi 10:54 PM 12-12-2005
I'm 35 weeks and 35 pounds. I had gained 45 with my other two by this time. My other babes were 10 and 9 lbs and I had perfectly fine natural deliveries after gaining a total of 50-55 pounds...

But my midwife is dong the same thing...since I will have my first homebirth with this one, she wants me to go on low carbs even though I don't have gestational diabetes, etc. so I don;t gain anymore. In five weeks? Impossible!

I'm on my fourth cold since October and no exercise or yoga lately...

All of a sudden I feel like my body is a lemon and my baby will be too big... boo hoo. Not cool.
NameThatMama's Avatar NameThatMama 11:13 PM 12-12-2005
Bah. I'm recovering from an eating disorder, and around 28 weeks, I realized that the weight gain was stressing me out something awful. The midwives seemed fine with it, but I wasn't handling it well.

So I stopped looking at the scale. I climb on, face away from the scale, and the med asst writes down the number and clears the screen. I told the midwives to let me know if there's anything *I* need to know about my weight. In the last few visits, they haven't said a word, so I assume everything's okay.
beansavi's Avatar beansavi 11:48 AM 12-13-2005
I wish I could do that. I'm talking with my midwife today, because it has been the "theme" of my last few visits...
ashcox's Avatar ashcox 02:01 PM 12-13-2005
I'm sort of with pinkmilk. I've only gained 16 pounds and I'm around 36 weeks (give or take, I've had way too many due dates to know how far along I am) and my OB doesn't seem concerned. I think whatever you gain, as long as you are eating healthy like a pp mentioned, is fine. I'm eating pretty regularly and it's mostly healthy food so it's not bothering me. Last time I gained right around 30 pounds and I knew it was on healthy food so it was fine. I think we all (mws and obs included) need to stop stressing so much about weight.
zjandosmom's Avatar zjandosmom 06:36 PM 12-13-2005
Wow- I'm jealous of you ladies who have only gained 10 and 16 lbs!!!!! Your pp will be a dream. I have no idea how much I have gained, but I can assure you it is more than 16 lbs!!! My mw keeps saying "but it's all baby" trying to make me feel better. I know I am huge. I haven't been overly hungry until just recently so I know my body is just doing its thing. At 20 weeks I had only gained 2 lbs......I always make up for it in the second half!
kathy (who better have a big fat baby)