I need help getting ready for labor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 09:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am having a really hard time. I am a worrier by nature so I don't really think my worries symbolize anything. My whole life I've worried about things that never happen because I have such issues with anxiety.

So here is my issue. I am 37 weeks today and as I posted earlier I am 2 cm dialated and the baby has dropped and engaged. But I am not ready for labor. I know how much work it is and I feel so tired. Yesterday I was even having contractions and I just kept saying, "Please don't let this be it." I really don't like being pregnant but I feel too tired to give birth. What is holding me back here? Talking to dh, I don't know if it is just fear of the hard work of birth or worry about leaving my dd (we are having a hospital birth) or worry about how I will handle two children or worry that something will happen to me or the baby. I don't know. I do know that I hate feeling this way. I want to get to where I am eagerly anticipating labor and birth, nervous sure, but ready for the challenge and excited to hold my baby. But there are all these other things in the way and I want to get them out of the way and have no idea how to do it.

I am worried that I will make it worse for myself with all these worries and keep my body from doing what it needs to do. I just feel so scared that something is going to happen to this baby or that I won't be physically strong enough or energized enough to give birth. Does anyone have any ideas? I feel sort of silly pouring my heart out and my worries out here but I feel so desperate to get to a better place. Thanks for listening...
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#2 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 11:34 AM
 
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Oh Kristen...you are going to do just fine. Sometimes I get these worried thoughts in my head too but as quickly as they come I tell them to move on! Have a big pep-talk with your body and your baby...remind yourself you did it before and you can do it again.(and better and wiser this time). Find your source of strength(God(ess), a thought, vision, husband, mother, friend, a powerful story, a prayer) .... and focus on this. Create a mantra for yourself that when said it it will bring you to that space of calm, power and relaxation that you so need both before and durring labor.
Practice being in labor...light some candles, have a hot bath, breathe, and relax... do this every day until you have this baby. Even if you have to take your dd in the tub with you...relaxing together can be a wonderful experience.
When the time finally comes you'll be ready and you'll have the tools to be strong and confident and successful. I know you will.

Love and Light; Angela

chicken3.gifbelly.gifwow...i'm gonna have another one!!!
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#3 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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Please try to relax, and let go. You will do no good to yourself by doubting yourself. There is no turning back now, which is obvious, so embrace your soon to be labor, and enjoy it. It is the most beautiful time for a woman and her family.
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#4 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 04:43 PM
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With my second baby, I often felt anxious too. I was very nervous about the birth because I was going to have a natural birth. My first birth was not a great experience and it haunted me until Kayla was born. Kayla was 10 days post date and I think part of it is because I was worrying a lot. What helped me (and maybe it will help you too) was to pretend any ache/pain was labor and to try to relax through it. This included a migraine as well as everyday bh ctx. I also read a lot of the birth stories out of Ina May's book and other books too. I liked reading them because they were very empowering to me. I would find pieces of myself in some of these women and somehow that helped me gain confidence. I also tried to spend some special time with my older dd because I knew it would never be "the same" again. Oh, and I decided not to be routinely checked--the numbers made me more anxious even though I knew they weren't worth much.

Amy

Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (11), Maya (8). 
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#5 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 05:06 PM
 
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You're going to have to find a way to pull yourself out of this hole and psyc yourself up somehow.

Why don't you sit down and make a list of everything that is bothering you and everything that you are worrying about and then address each worry, one by one.

Then go pamper yourself. Baby yourself for these last weeks as much as possible.

Go look at all of your baby stuff and imagine putting it on your babe and how it will be to hold him/her in your arms.

Good luck mama.

Mama to:Ben (12), Natalie (9), Zoe (5)
 
 
 
     

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#6 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slabobbin
Why don't you sit down and make a list of everything that is bothering you and everything that you are worrying about and then address each worry, one by one.
I agree with Slabobbin, and by addressing each one I would mean thinking what if, and actually considering what you would do - sometimes this can make a "problem/fear" not seem so bad knowing that it actually could be handled if it did happen. The trick is to then let it go after you have had a good think about it. Maybe you could write them on slips of paper and then throw them away/burn them when you've addressed them. Or just plain ol' journaling can really come in handy. I also agree that the worrying is not good for you, but I think that you know this and that's why you posted. Remember that by consciously relaxing about this you can probably PREVENT some the very things that are worrying you

  chicken3.gif Christian SAHM to DS 3/04, DS 1/06, and DD 1/09 and expecting a new little one in May 2012 selectivevax.gif  nocirc.gif 

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#7 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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I have one word for you: SURRENDER. I have more to say, that'll have to suffice for now, children and DH want me.

Namaste, Tara
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#8 of 9 Old 01-08-2006, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for you responses. I feel a little better today. I think I was very tired last night and I am more rested. I've also been rereading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and that is helping some. I just want to feel eager and excited and I'm not quite there yet. Surrendering is good advice. I'm trying to follow it.
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#9 of 9 Old 01-09-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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Birthing From Within will help you process what your fears (Tigers) are, and help you figure out which ones are pressing you most, and how to put them in perspective. I highly, highly recommend it!

Kristina in Kitsap County, WA
Doula, Student Midwife, Mama, Wife & More
http://redspiral.blogspot.com
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