My doula had to cancel :( Suggestions?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-12-2006, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Our doula had to cancel and she was hard to get as it was. I don't think I will be able to find anyone else.

I was really looking forward to having a doula this time. Does anyone have any tips or sites that maybe I can give to dh as a very quick - do it yourself doula course
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#2 of 6 Old 01-12-2006, 06:05 PM
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Check out the Birth Partner. It is a great book, and my bible as a doula. Also, check to see if there are nay doulas in training in your area. They are cheap or free most of the time and can be highly competent.
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#3 of 6 Old 01-12-2006, 08:01 PM
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Pardon me for being negative on your thread but: WTH is up with doulas in this DDC!? This is the THIRD not-so-hot doula story in one due date group! Ugh! Sorry...

If you can get a copy, I'd get ahold of The Birth Partner and maybe Mothering the Mother. I'll poke around and see what else I can find ASAP to recommend. The best thing you can tell him is to trust you and to trust birth. Are you havng baby at hospital or home (I'm sorry, I forgot, forgive my feeble mind?) I'm guessing hospital. Perhaps you can call up there and ask if they have natural labor friendly nurses and find out the names of them on each shift, that way when you go in, you can request one of them. Trust me, nurses love to be asked for by name Have your DH spend time witn you massaging you and finding places on your body that feel good to touch, write them down if need be. Practice relaxing in each other's arms. I'm sure I can think of better answers than this! How into it is your DH? I mean, how on board is he with being the primary support like that? Was he counting on your doula's presence? If he was, he'll really need to work a little harder than most to get into the groove. Something else is that he (well, you both) needs to remember that birth can be overwhelming for partners (which is why doulas can be such handy folks!) and if he gets overwhelmed, you two need to come up with strategies to deal together. This may indeed mean utilizing nursing staff or possibly a friend who could come and help. Did your doula have a back-up doula? I'm so sorry this has heppened to you!!!

Namaste, Tara
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#4 of 6 Old 01-12-2006, 09:17 PM
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You know, my doula didn't pan out either, and in retrospect I'm kind of glad!! My dh did an awesome job, and I think it's because I was just totally honest with him in what I was expecting and what I needed. Since I had been there once I knew. I gave him lots of ideas of affirmations to give me, and I let him know what I would probably say and what I would need him to say back to me to get me focused properly. It worked great and he was the perfect coach. He read the birth book by Sears and the Husband coached childbirth book by Bradley

Good luck!!
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#5 of 6 Old 01-12-2006, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks mamas for the suggestions. I'll try to get a hold of the books you suggested but I think this baby is coming sooner than later

I did a search on line today too and found a few sites with tips from doulas to print off and give to dh. The birth will be in a hospital, and I've never heard that you could request a nurse but I will definitely ask.

I guess I'm not sure what I will need so I don't know how to prep dh for it. We have been through this once before but I gave in to the epidural due to excessive vomitting and was worried that I wouldn't have any energy to push. I want to avoid that at all costs this time.

There may be one other doula that is available for me but she is recovering from surgery. I'm hoping.
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#6 of 6 Old 01-13-2006, 01:06 AM
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Sorry about your doula, mama. I'm really suprised that she doesn't have a back though. I've never interviewed a doula that didn't have at least one potential back and usually a network of possibilities to pull from. I hope you find some good material for DH is very hands off (though he might come around if forced into it), so no doula would be a _bad_ thing for me.
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