Frustrated/Discouraged....(vent, just gotta get it out) - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-04-2006, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My mom showed up two weeks ago and has to leave tomorrow. We figured her coming a week before I was due and a week after would pretty much cover it as far as baby coming and her getting to be there. Alas, no baby...

Membranes were stripped on Thursday and I was dialated to 2, lots of brown (old blood) mucous and contractions throughout that night, but they petered out. I was trying to do a lot of nipple stim and of couse, blue cohosh and red raspberry tea, the contractions at night were 5-7 apart for 3 hrs, but they didn't seem to be very strong, just regular...Finally, was exhausted and went to bed.

Yesterday, had 'contractions' (again, on a scale of 1-10, maybe a 3 or 4, not very strong) for most of the day 5-8 min apart. Called my doula, she said to just wait it out a bit more and see if they were stronger...Called my doc, of course, they said to come in to hospital and see where we were at...Went to hospital (felt bad, b/c I just knew that these weren't strong enough contractions and DH was SO excited) and they put me on a monitor for 30 min, only had 4 contractions and they were little ones, then made us walk for 30 min and put me on monitor again for 20 min...Still only dialated to a 2. Gave me a Visteral (which I really didn't want, but I haven't slept in three days b/c of night contractions) and sent me home.

Slept like a rock and woke up feeling just as crampy and crabby. Feel really bad about mom going to miss birth (unless things really change tonight) and really frustrated.

I only have 3.5 wks paid maternity leave, have used 1.5 wks already. After that, I have to decide whether I'm quitting my beloved job for good or whether I'll commit to coming back part-time for 6 months, then full-time again. I have no insurance besides this job and would have to do FMLA which will pay for insurance during the time I'm on maternity leave and not drawing a paycheck. If I don't come back to work and do FMLA, I have to pay my job back for their contributions towards my insurance (will probably be sev thousand dollars).

DH still is unemployed...Has a tentative job offer but unknown when that starts b/c of baby not coming yet, hopefully, they will keep the offer extended until the kid comes. Insurance for that job won't kick in till for 90 days post hiring...

I'm just irritated and pregnant still, the last one on the boards.

Thanks for listening.


Messianic mama to 3 boys, C (4 yrs), E (22 mths), B (newborn)
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Old 02-04-2006, 05:18 PM
 
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Hello!

I don't know if it makes you feel any better at all, but EDD was 01/27/2006 and here we are (8 days later... not that i'm counting right?) :

I am waiting for my beautiful little girl... planning a HM with MW's... if this little girl waits too much longer, I am TERRIFIED that we will have to go the hospital route!!!

I have also been trying all of the natural induction methods that you have (including LOTS of walking, sex and evening primrose oil).

This is the WORST part of pregnancy! I had a VERY easy time up until now. Now, it is just very hard to be positive; I just wanna SCREAM!

Hang in there momma... at least we're not alone.
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Old 02-04-2006, 05:19 PM
 
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I'm really sorry things are so hard for you. I've been thinking about you, though. I hope that baby comes soon!
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Old 02-04-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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{{{hugs}}} I'm sorry things aren't going so well for you!! You need some peace and time to relax...maybe that will help baby find its way out. I Hope baby comes soon and things look up for yousoon as well. Been thinking about you!!

Namaste, Tara
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yogamerd, I'm so glad you posted...I would do anything for a homebirth now...After going to that hospital and having to sit on the monitor for that long, knowing that I was fine and baby was fine, I really realized how much I didn't like that technology or the scratchy arm bracelet. I guess I'm not sure what I thought they'd do, I just knew that they were trying to cover their bottoms to check on baby which was silly b/c if they'd asked, I could tell them that baby'd been active for the last 3 hrs and nothing was wrong. I didn't know if I should've gone in the first place and I really wish I hadn't.

If I did a birth at home, it'd be UC b/c Nebraska is messed up like that. I'm too scared to do that now. I am SO glad though, that I got a doula b/c now that my mom isn't going to be there, it'll just be DH and I and I wanted a third person.

This has been a really easy pregnancy for me. I had no morning sickness and didn't even know I was preg til almost 10 wks. I've been active and eat very healthy, gaining a total of about 24 lbs. You are right, this last part is the worst.

Thanks so much to Pers and MamaTara as well for being so kind...

Messianic mama to 3 boys, C (4 yrs), E (22 mths), B (newborn)
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Old 02-04-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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Hi Fireshifter,

This is jen from the McD board. I was just checking in with my ddc and saw your post. I'm sorry things aren't going as you had planned. Try to get some rest so you have energy for labor. Hope everything starts moving along for you and you have a wonderful delivery.

Jennifer
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Old 02-05-2006, 06:13 PM
 
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Your situation is so similar to mine a few weeks ago.....hugs and more hugs to you! My mother came to help for two weeks (she arrived on the EDD and had to leave 2 weeks later.) The baby was born the day before she left and I was devastated before the baby was born, and ok about it afterwards.

I just wanted to join the others and say I know from experience that it is terribly hard to be where you are right now. Hang in there as best you can and be as kind to yourself as you can. It's normal to be angry, frustrated, tearful, etc, etc. You will soon give birth to an extra healthy baby who stayed in there as long as s/he needed to!

Emily
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Old 02-06-2006, 06:58 PM
 
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DD was 12 days late and my midwife kept saying "Babies are born on their birthdays." Didn't help at the time. Sorry. But the underlying wisdom is that your body and your baby know when the right time is. Everything is going to be OK.

Any chance Mom can extend her stay?
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Old 02-06-2006, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mom left yesterday..They live in CA so it's a ways away...She'll try to come back for one of the three day weekends coming up..Baby has taken so long, my in-laws will probably not see it soon either, they have a 9 day tour in Mexico that they are driving to from here in Nebraska and it starts on Sunday so they'll be heading down there on Thursday.

I'm kind of excited b/c now it's just going to be DH and I with baby after birth so we will have a better time to bond, hopefully. I do have a doula as well, which I WAS thinking was a waste of money when my mom was here, but now very very happy to have.

NST today showed baby was happy and active...Internal check showed 3 cms.. Contractions are still little wimpy ones.

NOTE TO BABY: Please please baby, come before induction on Friday...You have no idea how much better life would be that way!!! :

Messianic mama to 3 boys, C (4 yrs), E (22 mths), B (newborn)
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Old 02-07-2006, 11:02 AM
 
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I went 13 days past my edd with our first and can honestly say that the stress and pressure did not make DS come any faster and just ruined the last part of a wonderful pregnancy.

Try to relax and maybe focus on something else for a while.

Or as my Doula told me this time around Baby is just working on the finishing touches right now eyelashes and fingernails.

Good luck
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:45 PM
 
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Thinking of you and sending vibes your way for a baby before Friday! I feel for you. I was there two weeks ago doing everything in my power to have a baby before they induced me. Baby came 11 days past his due date. So much for second babies coming earlier than first babies!!! Sending thoughts your way for a blessed birth!

Nena, Wife to S since 1995, mom to G (my wonderkid) since 2000 and R since 2006 (my snuggley boy who was diagnosed with mitochondrial disease in 2007)
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